Month: May 2016

6 Red Flags You Must Pay Attention to Before Getting Married

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Getting married? It’s an exciting time and one of the greatest joys in your life. You are about to start a brand-new chapter in your life that is like no other chapter you have experienced before. However, perhaps there are a few things on your mind that you are afraid to say or note to anyone. It’s not unusual to have second thoughts before getting married or “jitters,” but sometimes, those second thoughts are really our instincts trying to tell us something. That instinct may be trying to say, “Are you sure that marriage is the right thing to do with this particular person? Are you sure that this is a good relationship?”

Just because someone will offer you a ring does not mean that that person is the right person for you for the rest of eternity. Pay attention to your gut and listen: your instinct may be trying to tell you to watch those little red flags that are creeping up in your relationship. The bottom line? Breaking up is a thousand times easier than divorce, my friend. It takes minutes to get a marriage license. A divorce? That could take years.

Read More: 6 Red Flags You Must Pay Attention to Before Getting Married

It’s More Than a Ring,

Laura

How to Successfully Co-Sleep With Your Child

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Does your child hover at your bed like he or she is an alien looking to infest a foreign planet? Does your child stand by your bedroom door at night with a placard saying, “Hell no, I won’t sleep…in my own bed!” or “Equal rights for kids: GIVE US YOUR BED?”

If you answered yes, you’re ready for a night of co-sleeping with your kiddo. Here are some tips to make it through. Use at your discretion.

1. Don’t sleep at all. Lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. Try to move or change positions and bam! —you realize moving is impossible because your child has taken up most of the bed. Learn to close your eyes and fake sleep, lest your child catches you awake in the middle of the night and wants to ask for a snack, drink of water or perhaps, more of your dwindling energies and resources. Whatever you do—shut those eyes!

Read More: How to Successfully Co-Sleep With Your Child

Hope You’re Not Tired!

Laura

How to make the most of a long weekend alone without the kids— Divorce Style

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In all truth, ever since splitting from my former husband, the hardest times for me have been holidays…and summer weekends alone. It’s easy to understand why adjusting to sharing holidays has been hard. Thankfully, my ex and I split almost every single holiday day in half since we live close. But why have I found summer weekends alone to be hard in particular? Well, I suppose it’s one thing to be alone on a frigid cold winter night. Is everyone else going out and having a good time? Most likely not. Most likely they’re Netflixing and “chilling” or literally watching Netflix alone like any other single gal home at night on a Saturday in January. But in the summer there are a lot of family vacations, hot summer romances, trips away…and as a single person who hasn’t been too impressed yet with the dating pool, the nights I found myself struggling to find something to do felt pretty awkward and sad in the past. I was, in theory, supposed to have “fun” on my free nights and be out like everyone else, so why wasn’t I? I mean, I was having fun sometimes, but it was hard to find other single people ready to go out. It seemed like more of a chore to find something to do than I had expected, but most of my friends were home with their partners, like other married folks.

 

Read More: How to make the most of a long weekend alone without the kids— Divorce Style

Enjoy It,

Laura

 

 

Just Married Vs. Just Divorced

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Having been once “just married” and now currently “just divorced,” I couldn’t help but think of the differences and similarities between the two drastically different life stages!

The Difference With “Things”

Just Married: You’re excitedly adding new “things” into your lives as Mr. and Mrs. or Mrs. and Mrs.! From crockpots to towels, everything is for the two of you!

Just Divorced: You’re not-so-happily dividing your stuff up and really hoping to God your ex wants that ugly knickknack his or her mom got you when the two of you first got married. OR you’re so glad you cleaned house, the two of you, and now only have what you really want — well, minus that Keurig!

Read More: Just Married Vs. Just Divorced

There are Quite a Few Similarities!

Laura

How to Tell Your Kids You’re Getting a Divorce

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Telling your children you and your partner are getting a divorce is probably one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have in a lifetime, hands down.

Unless your kids are dying to have the two of you split up due to stressful family arguments, most likely your children will be very sad. However, there’s no way around it: you can’t hide a divorce from the kids, but when you tell them, you and your partner can make the process easier by considering these few aspects and tips!

Practice Ahead of Time

This is not the time to “wing it.” You and your partner need to sit down and discuss how you two are going to break the news to the kiddos. Obviously you cannot plan every last breath and syllable, but the two of you can go over the main components of your message to the kids. The absolute worst thing to do would be:

Read More: How to Tell Your Kids You’re Getting a Divorce

Put Them First,

Laura

Taking Back My Maiden Name After Divorce: Is it the Right Thing?

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Sitting at court waiting for our official divorce decree after our divorce was announced official, I turned to my ex and said, “I’m sorry about the whole last name thing.”

“No worries. You don’t have to be sorry. I understand.”

When you divorce with kids, it’s not unusual for moms to claim they would like the same last name as their children. I cannot say I blame them, although that’s not the choice I made. I considered it for a second, but the truth is, even when I got married I did not want to change it. I wanted to stay Lifshitz. It felt archaic to me to change my last name and I had earned so many victories and defeats with my maiden name. I had lived an interesting life as a Lifshitz. I had a life as a TV personality. A life as a student. A life as a comedienne. A life as a little half-Jewish girl who occasionally, got poked fun of because her last name had the word “sh*t” in it. Did that derail me? Nope! Not this sassy girl and now woman, but a lot of life had gone on as a Lifshitz.

Read More: Taking Back My Maiden Name After Divorce: Is it the Right Thing?

Becoming Me Again, Only Better,

Laura

Working Through Divorce

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As a newly single mother living on one income, having a job is high on my priority list. I was working part-time when I was married, and once my husband and I separated I immediately had to go back to full-time work. Learning to navigate a new job and single motherhood while going through a divorce was tough. If you’re in or have ever been in this boat, you know what I mean.

So how can working moms get through divorce with their jobs intact? First things first: Make sure your kids are cared for. You can never have enough backup care, suggests psychologist Leah Klungness, Ph.D., co-author of The Complete Single Mother.

Read More: Working Through Divorce

It’s Tough,

Laura

Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

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Summertime is almost here and that means, bathing suit shopping. I will rock a bikini, but I must admit that finding one that suits my top-heavy body with my boyish hips can be a pain. It doesn’t matter if you’re thin, thick, or in-between:

Many women struggle with bathing suit shopping. 

After a few weeks of baring my pale skin, though, I get used to it and enjoy being in the Summer sun and air, but I must admit . . . I doubt if I look OK in my suit. I criticize myself, and I find flaw after flaw, but I say “To heck with it,” and I embrace the things I do like and hope that I am not embarrassing myself. Being confident as a woman is important. You’ve got to love the skin you’re in.

It was so much easier bathing-suit shopping as a child. My mom would take me to the store, and I would pick out whatever fit my little girl fancy:

  • Stars? Yes! My favorite suit for a year was a purple one with big bold white stars
  • Characters? Smurfette? Yes, please! Bring me that one-piece with the big blonde blue Smurf character, and pronto, Mom!
  • Hot pink flowers? So summery. Yay!

Read More: Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

Enough is Enough,

Laura

3 Signs Your MIL Is Hell-Bent on Destroying You

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The almighty mother-in-law. The one woman that is feared by all daughter-in-laws of the world. At least initially.

If you have the lucky fortune of being your MIL’s favorite daughter-in-law, congrats! You have achieved a status so many of us wish we could reach but sadly, never have or never do. If you have a difficult relationship with your MIL that either runs hot and cold or worse or is so brutal the two of you would fare well in a boxing ring, you’ll commiserate with these three harsh signs that your MIL wishes for your destruction.

Snubs Your Invites

Your mother-in-law would rather die, yes die, than go to a party, holiday, or any other occasion that the underling daughter-in-law is throwing. She somehow has to do her hair, feed the needy, raise money for the poor, and just about every other thing under the sun than attend a fete you’ve organized.

Read More: 3 Signs Your MIL Is Hell-Bent on Destroying You

Remember She’s Grandma & Act Accordingly,

Laura

The 3 Stages of Hell Known as Pregnancy Heartburn

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Pregnancy and heartburn go hand-in-hand pretty much as closely as pickles and ice cream. It’s a common symptom and a real pain in the you-know-what, but thanks to that dirty rat hormone, progesterone, which causes the valve between the esophagus and stomach to relax, you’re bound to experience a little heartburn, especially during the third trimester.

Gee, and you thought the morning sickness and swollen feet were enough motherly dues to pay? Ha ha, just wait until pregnancy heartburn finds you. And yes, you may have experienced it in the first trimester. I believe I felt the burn almost every day, including profuse vomiting, during the first trimester. But by the third trimester? I burped every day thanks to my little friend, pregnancy heartburn.

Stage One: It’s Not So Bad

This is the stage of heartburn in which a little Tums or strategic eating can soothe that wicked burn that travels up your esophagus. You might stop eating spicy foods.

Read More: The 3 Stages of Hell Known as Pregnancy Heartburn

 

You’re a Firestarter!

Laura