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Archive for July, 2016|Monthly archive page

For All The Broken Divorced Guys Out There

In divorce, divorce advice on July 31, 2016 at 2:11 am

You are like Oz: the man behind the curtain is much smaller and vulnerable than he appears to be.

I see you everywhere, broken hearted divorced guys. You come up as my matches through online dating. You are my friends. You are the guys who talk to me and get close, only to retreat away. You are the men who comment under my articles, an anger seething in even the mildest words.

You are broken hearted but you won’t say so.

You’ll use words like “angry” or “over her” or “not ready,” but not once will you admit it: You are broken hearted. Your spirits are down. Your heart is broken. You wonder if you will ever be whole again.

You wonder if you will ever find the person you were before all of this began. You won’t say a word to anyone. Why call friends and burden them? Why go through the blow-by-blow of your disintegrated and dead marriage with family? Do they need to hear your heart’s worst pains?

No, you tell yourself. A real man goes this alone. And besides, you don’t want to be known as the “sad” guy. You don’t want pity or someone’s “I’m sorries.” Instead, you want to feel like a man again. You want to feel human. You want to wash yourself clean of this experience and magically, voila, be a new person again.

Except that doesn’t happen. Not to anyone. It comes in time, but to you, it’s taking too long. Why does it need to be never-ending?

Read More: For All The Broken Divorced Guys Out There

It Gets Better,

Laura

10 Legit Reasons Dominant Women Make the BEST Wives

In marriage on July 31, 2016 at 2:07 am

If the millennium is the era of the big butt, then it also needs to be the era of the dominant woman. We have gotten a bad reputation for far too long.

According to supposed legend, we are:

  • Bitches
  • Domineering
  • Want to control everything
  • Emasculating

As well as other false rumors. As a matter of fact, dominant women make the best bedmates, friends and wives. Yes, wives. The whole “emasculating” rumor is merely spread by weak men who want their partners to be beneath them. In other words, boys who don’t truly want a real woman, period.

Here are some reasons dominant women make the best wives and life partners.

Read More: 10 Legit Reasons Dominant Women Make the BEST Wives

Badder, Better,

Laura

11 Things Your Child Does to Drive You Crazy Each and Every Day

In humor, motherhood, parenthood on July 31, 2016 at 2:06 am

Kids. They say and do the DAMNDEST things. Most of which of course, are done intentionally to drive moms nuts. Some of it of course isn’t intentional, but just part of our kids’ DNA to make us batty. Our kids are born beautiful for a reason: this way we moms remember that even when they push us to the limits of wanting a padded room and restraints, we will still love them and not eat them alive like certain animal mothers who devour their young. In fact, we probably drive our own kids just as crazy. It wouldn’t be as much fun if we didn’t, would it?

1. Make Us Suffer Insufferable Cartoons

If I have to watch “Littlest Pet Shop” one more time, I might start bleeding cats and dogs! It’s actually one of the better and cuter shows though, if a bit pointless. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse made me want to drive my car into a pole, mostly because of Mickey and Minnie’s voice. It’s also the most inane show ever. The learning lessons about shapes and such seemed so blase. Let’s not forget the “Hot Dog” dance.

Then again, Calliou will make you regret motherhood. Well, at least for a few minutes.

Read More: 11 Things Your Child Does to Drive You Crazy Each and Every Day

But We Love Them,

Laura

Do NOT Date Before the Divorce Is Finalized Until You Consider These Important Factors

In dating, dating advice, divorce, divorce advice on July 31, 2016 at 2:03 am

You’re separated from your soon-to-be-former spouse, and now you’re wondering: is it acceptable for me to date? 

I wish I had an easy yes or no answer for you, but each situation is different. Some people may be available to date easily, and others? Not so much. There is one thing I can say with absolute certainty on the subject and that is this: whether you are divorcing with kids, without kids, or have been married a long time or simply a few years, no one is ready to be serious with ANYONE right after a separation.

Sure, you could be ready to have fun, have sex, and casually date, but you are no one’s Mrs. Right until you have taken time to assess yourself, your failed marriage, and where you are going in life. Not to mention, you need to heal. You may feel completely over someone, but the fact is it takes time to unravel yourself from a marriage.

Here are some indicators/rules you can go by to determine whether you are ready to casually date vs. whether you are not ready to casually date.

Read More: Do NOT Date Before the Divorce Is Finalized Until You Consider These Important Factors

It’s Not the Smartest Move,

Laura

10 Things That All Moms of Strong-Willed Kids Know

In motherhood, parenthood on July 31, 2016 at 2:01 am

If you’re the proud parent of a strong-willed child you are most likely both incredibly proud and also at times, extremely frustrated. When you come head to head with a strong little being, it can be a challenge to deal with, especially if you happen to also be a strong-willed mom! Of course, there are so many joys in having a strong-willed child, it’s just that many of these joys may come to a parent later on in life.

1. Cut Nose to Spite Face

If you have a strong-willed child, he or she will cut off his or her own nose to spite his or her face! For example, telling a strong-willed child that Santa won’t come if he makes bad choices means your strong-willed child will simply say, “Fine. I don’t care anyway.”

The strong-willed child has to hang onto her convictions as it means so much to her to be right and see her actions come to light.

Read More: 10 Things That All Moms of Strong-Willed Kids Know

It’s a Worthy Challenge,

Laura

The 1 Thing to Never Say to Your Child After Divorce

In divorce, divorce advice, single dad, single mom on July 21, 2016 at 1:36 pm

I learned something very important in court parenting class. Something I didn’t expect.

I was sitting in a large nondescript room that looked something like a school cafeteria or a VFW, about to listen to a court parenting class. They offered cheap snacks like peanuts and granola bars, along with water bottles. I grabbed some snacks and looked around. As I scanned the crowd I saw newly separated people with the mark of divorce on their faces. The exhaustion, fear and defeat showed on almost everyone. I had already been separated for 2 years at this point so it wasn’t new to me. Yet as “old” as it was to me, sitting in that class taught me a lot.

I learned a lot about what the court deals with in regards to children and divorce. I learned a lot about what the court expects from me and other divorced parents.

But the one thing that stuck with me was when the court social worker told us we should never call our “ex” our “ex” in front of our children or to other people we are speaking to in front of the kids.

“Ex has a bad connotation. Ex is something that is no longer part of you. Ex is the past. But to your kids, your “ex” is their father or mother. A good person. A part of them. Their present and future.”

Read More: The 1 Thing to Never Say to Your Child After Divorce

One Small Habit to Make,

Laura

7 Brags Moms Make About Their Kids That May or May Not Be True

In motherhood on July 21, 2016 at 1:33 pm

Moms can’t help but brag about our kids, right? It’s in our blood. If we didn’t love our kids so much, most likely, we would eat our young like some animals do. And truly, is there any mother who can say she doesn’t brag about her kiddo? No, and if she says she doesn’t, she’s lying. It’s one of the great privileges after giving birth — ranting and raving about your progeny. To us, our own children are the world, and the rest of the planets simply circulate around them. Here are seven brags moms make about their kids that may or may not be true but are always true to that proud mama, no matter what the audience or critics might say. Wink.

1. He’s the Cutest

If you didn’t think your kid was the cutest, you most likely would have high-tailed it out of motherhood after the first few exhausting days of infancy. Of course, your kid is cute, but to you, he’s the cutest. Ever. Infinity! Other moms, however, might debate that their children are the “cutest.” Apparently, it’s a popular award!

2. She’s the Best in a Sport

Truly, the best in a sport is most likely proven by a Super Bowl or the Olympics, but since we’re not being sticklers here, a mom will brag her kid is the best in a sport, and most likely, that kid is pretty darn great, indeed!

Read More: 7 Brags Moms Make About Their Kids That May or May Not Be True

They’re Stars in Our Eyes!

Laura

5 Signs You’re Just Dating a Pen Pal

In dating, dating advice, relationships on July 21, 2016 at 1:31 pm

You match on Tinder, Happn, or Bumble and — bam! — the connection is hot! You can’t wait to meet. Your banter and messages are fun, playful, and interesting. The two of you cannot stop chatting away and you are starting to feel positive about this potential partner. It’s rare that it happens considering online dating and dating apps are a bit of a grind in which you sample a bunch of people but end up enjoying only a small fraction of the interactions you have with anyone. So this person is finally piquing your interest.

When is it time to get drinks or coffee? Now! But somehow, you still haven’t met this person yet . . .

1. Constant Texting but Never Direct Plans

The two of you say good morning and good night to each other, but there’s never a concrete plan to go out. You two never miss a day of chatting, but this person hasn’t mentioned a time to see you.

2. Your Requests Are Met With Excuses

You give in and ask the person to make a date, and your request is met with a bunch of excuses. Somehow this match always has work, friends to see, a sick family member, or “isn’t sure” of his/her schedule.

Read More: 5 Signs You’re Just Dating a Pen Pal

They’re Entertaining Their “Options,”

Laura

What to Expect a Day, Week, and Month After Having a C-Section

In motherhood, pregnancy on July 13, 2016 at 2:46 am

When I had my C-section after 24 hours of labor and four-plus hours of pushing, I was terrified and had no idea what to expect. So I know first-hand that whether you choose to have a Cesarean or you end up needing one due to complications, it’s comforting to be armed with as much info as possible regarding the recovery process.

You may not be able to move much. If you had an epidural for the procedure and it was left in place, you’ll have limited activity, says Clark Johnson, M.D., an obstetrician at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore. It’s usually taken out the first day post-op, though, so you should regain mobility pretty soon.

You could be in a ton of pain, or it might not be so bad. This will vary based on numerous factors, says Alyssa Dweck, M.D., assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City. These include: your own general health before the surgery, whether or not you were in labor beforehand, and whether or not the C-section was scheduled or an emergency one. You’ll be given pain meds every four to eight hours, depending on your level of discomfort, says Melissa Walsh M.D., ob-gyn attending physician, department of obstetrics, gynecology, and women’s health in the Montefiore Health System.

Read More:What to Expect a Day, Week, and Month After Having a C-Section

It Takes Time to Heal:

Laura

11 Things All Parents of Preschoolers Think

In humor, motherhood, parenthood on July 10, 2016 at 1:42 pm

If you’re the proud parent of a preschooler, then you will understand what it’s like to be befuddled by the little things they do. For example, did you ever truly believe 4-year-old girls could form cliques? Or that your preschooler would go to school sharing details about mommy’s “magic vibrating wand”? Oh, the preschool years are so precious! And sometimes . . . so dreadfully embarrassing. If you have a preschooler you just can’t live without, you will most likely think and relate to all of these things in this list.

Everything Is Poopy. Everything 

It doesn’t matter what the joke is, the punchline is always poopy. Poopy this and poopy that. You’re pretty tired of fecal matters and, in fact, every time you see the poop emoji, you want to vomit. If someone even says a word that starts with “P,” you instantly cover your ears thinking, “No, not again!”

Why Are They Wearing That? 

If your child wears the most bizarre ensembles and you cannot understand for the life of you why your 4-year-old needs to wear earmuffs in June, you are the proud parent of a preschooler!

Read More: 11 Things All Parents of Preschoolers Think

It’s a Wonderful Time in Childhood,

Laura