You are like Oz: the man behind the curtain is much smaller and vulnerable than he appears to be.
I see you everywhere, broken hearted divorced guys. You come up as my matches through online dating. You are my friends. You are the guys who talk to me and get close, only to retreat away. You are the men who comment under my articles, an anger seething in even the mildest words.
You are broken hearted but you won’t say so.
You’ll use words like “angry” or “over her” or “not ready,” but not once will you admit it: You are broken hearted. Your spirits are down. Your heart is broken. You wonder if you will ever be whole again.
You wonder if you will ever find the person you were before all of this began. You won’t say a word to anyone. Why call friends and burden them? Why go through the blow-by-blow of your disintegrated and dead marriage with family? Do they need to hear your heart’s worst pains?
No, you tell yourself. A real man goes this alone. And besides, you don’t want to be known as the “sad” guy. You don’t want pity or someone’s “I’m sorries.” Instead, you want to feel like a man again. You want to feel human. You want to wash yourself clean of this experience and magically, voila, be a new person again.
Except that doesn’t happen. Not to anyone. It comes in time, but to you, it’s taking too long. Why does it need to be never-ending?
Read More: For All The Broken Divorced Guys Out There
It Gets Better,