In my dirtiest opinion, there is room for both f*cking and making love. If you have a partner that you can’t f*ck and only make love to, or vice versa, you’ve got the wrong partner.
A hearty and fulfilling sex life has a little of both, and most of the time, couples go through stages in which they’re “making love” all the time or “f*cking” all the time. It’s simply part of the life cycle of the relationship.
But in the early stages of the relationship, it’s when the cycle happens rapidly. Sometimes, if you’re with a new partner and wondering where it’s going, you’ll start to analyze the sex. Is it just banging, or is he connecting with you?
Bottom line: Is it f*cking or making love? Here are the differences.
1. When you’re making love, your vulnerability levels are high.
When you’re making love, the vulnerability level is high. People start to share words and feelings that they didn’t before. Don’t be surprised if her eyes, or yours, well up a little. This is when both of you let down your guard. This is when risk and reward comes into play.
Do you tell him you love him? Do you tell her you love her? Are you becoming so close that it’s difficult and scary? Are you becoming so close that it’s hard to imagine any other moments happening without him or her? This is making love.
2. When you’re f*cking, the vulnerabilities are there, too… it’s just different.
On the flip side, when you’re f*cking, the vulnerabilities lie in the two of you sharing some freaky stuff that might make the other person turned off. If your freak flag doesn’t fly with this new partner’s, the party shuts down. The vulnerabilities lie in: Is the sex going to suck? Are we going to lose chemistry? If I let my sexual needs show, will they be received well, or not?
Which Is It?