When you’re a matter of convenience and not a matter of the heart, you know you’ve got to walk away.

Let’s be real. We have all been the second choice. Default option. Substitute woman. Sidepiece. Batter-up. Understudy. Pinch Hitter. It’s the worst position to be in.

When you’re little, you’re taught to be a graceful loser. But when you’re a man’s second option, you’re fooled into thinking you matter, except it’s really not true. You’re just getting slivers and slices of this person’s affection, but somehow you’ve been walking around like you must matter to this man.

But you don’t.

You matter when it’s convenient for him. You matter when his first choice doesn’t show up or fulfill her role. You matter on an “as needed basis.” There’s no pain greater than continuing to live as the second option and accepting your occasional walk-on role in a man’s life.

So there must be a time when you decide no more. Finito. It’s time to retire the damn role of “default option.” It’s time to decide that you deserve to be the first choice, primary woman, lover, and friend, the priority not an option. The be-all-end all owner of his heart.

Read More: I Am Not A Second Option. Either Choose Me Or Lose Me.

Be Number #1,

Laura