30 Women Recall the Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over

How do you know your marriage is over? 30 women shared with me the moment they knew their marriage was done…for good.

Read More: 30 Women Recall the Moment They Knew Their Marriage Was Over

It’s All Done,

Laura

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10 Simple, Sexy Ways To Show A Man Intimacy (Without Jumping Into Bed)

Intimacy isn’t solely about sex. Sure, sex counts an awful lot, but that’s not the only factor that goes into building an intimate and passionate relationship.

We all know you can have sex without real intimacy and connection, but how can you be intimate with a man beyond or besides simply intercourse? Here’s how to be intimate without jumping into bed, and they are guaranteed to make his body ache just a little.

1. Give each other a naked massage.

Forget the clothes. Forget the half-clothed shoulder rubs. Get naked, both of you, and give him a massage.

I Can Tell You Why “It is Worth the Wait”

One of the hardest things in life is to wait. Wait for an answer. Wait for change. Wait for something you want. Whatever you are waiting for make no mistake about it: it’s hard! There’s no wonder why children find it so hard to be patient…they haven’t had a lifetime of ordeals to teach them that sometimes, you just must wait. If we as adults struggle, there’s no doubt it’s not easy.

But the reality is sometimes you have to wait for what you really, really, really want!

In fact, I’ve noticed that sometimes when I push for something that I really want too hard, I end up not getting it or, getting something that doesn’t quite work out because I wasn’t patient enough to have faith and wait.

Of course, there is also something to be said about waiting too long: you settle. Or, you miss opportunities, but sometimes it’s really worth it to wait for what you want.

So, if you’re finding it either hard to have faith or hard to wait for something, consider these reasons for waiting it out.

Because it’s Not Good When Sloppy Mistakes Are Made

When you don’t wait, sloppy mistakes are made. Sure, sometimes time is of the essence and you have to act hastily, but consider dating or finalizing your divorce.

Some of us were too hasty to settle down and ended up with the wrong person.

Some of us rushed our divorces and ended up with an agreement that was less than stellar or perhaps, was more problematic due to the speed.

Whatever the case, when you wait, fewer mistakes can be made. You can be more careful and in this case, it ends up being worth the wait.

Read More: I Can Tell You Why “It is Worth the Wait” 

Be Patient,

Laura

9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

One of my biggest pet peeves as a single mom is when people tell me how strong I am; that I’m so strong, I don’t need a man. When manual labors present themselves, random friends from the “friend choir” will say, “You can do it yourself! I do it myself. I don’t need a man.”

Don’t get me wrong. I can do plenty myself. I’m very independent and I run a household alone and have for almost four years. I consider myself a feminist too, but since when was needing someone so terrible?

Okay, so “needing” someone in a needy, clingy way is a turn-off. Codependency is a turn-off. Needing someone in your life to partner with you is not. It’s really more about wanting a strong partner.

Why does being a feminist or a strong woman have to translate as not needing a man (or woman, depending on your preference)? There are many reasons why strong women need men and why it’s normal. She should never have to apologize for it. Here’s why.

1. Teamwork makes the dream work.

A strong woman has a great foundation in which a partnership can build something even more fabulous. There’s nothing wrong with going solo, but wanting a partner to carry out big dreams and ideas is great.

Sorry haters, but it takes two to row a boat. There’s no shame of wanting someone on board the ship.

Read More: 9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

The Power of Two,

Laura

7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

Okay, so you’re divorced and now you’ve got to figure out the holidays…on your own or with the kids. It can take adjusting. Missing your ex (or maybe not!). Missing your ex’s family unless you still see them…or also, maybe not. Sharing your kids. Being alone. Less money. Being single.

It’s not surprising if you’re already feeling a little grinchy and not so spirited. But—and here is the challenge—even if you don’t have your kids…they’re watching you before they walk off to the other parent’s home. So you’ve got to shake off the holiday blues and make different memories and traditions that they will love, and so will you.

Or in other words, your divorce is not a death sentence. It just means some adjustments have to be made for you to find a new happy normal! Here are some holly jolly ways to create new traditions at the holidays after divorce.

Read More: 7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

Jolly, Jolly,

Laura

How to Take Your Financial Challenges and Turn Them Into Life Goals

It is very hard to stare down financial hardships and see a light at the end of the tunnel, unless you make a plan. Truly, having no financial plan in general, is dangerous. Even if you are scraping by for now and can’t be strategic, you can take these financial challenges you are dealing with, and turn them into life goals that will help serve you. Here are a few ways you can turn your financial hardships into something fruitful!

CREDIT ISSUES

Do you have a bad credit score or maybe a lot of credit debt? This is a common issue after divorce. Perhaps your ex racked up debt or you racked up some yourself. Whatever the case is, take credit issues as a journey towards smarter spending.
Some tips I have learned from the advisors I met through Savvy Ladies:

Read More: How to Take Your Financial Challenges and Turn Them Into Life Goals

Challenge is On!

Laura

How Learning How to Ask for Help Made Me Stronger

First things, first: I am not so stubborn that if my arm is about to fall off, I won’t ask for help. I will ask for help…with certain things. Certain things are easier for me to ask than others, but overall, I find it hard to ask for something that I really need from people I care about.

Asking an employer or someone I hired to do something I can do. But asking people within my life and community for help is much harder. For example, there were quite a few times I probably should have gone to the food bank instead of using limited funds for food. Pride kept me from going…and also, I didn’t want people to know in my small town that I was not doing so well. I also felt my ex would be more punitive if he knew.
So, there were logical reasons to resist, but there were also damn good reasons I should have gone to the food bank. Either way, we ate and no one went hungry…but still, I noted my pride.

Applying for state health care was also something I truly abhorred. I felt terrible. How could this happen to me? Well, it did. Life happened. Medical bills. Ex fiascos. Lawyers. Childcare. Caring for my daughter. Unemployment stints.

Life happens. And when it happens to the best of us as it all does, you must know how to ask for help. Period.

Asking for help made me stronger because…

Read More: How Learning How to Ask for Help Made Me Stronger

Stronger,

Laura

15 Things About Divorce Only Divorced People Will Understand

When you’ve been through the trenches, you know how the war goes. That’s exactly how it is when you’ve been through a divorce. You’ve lived to tell the tale. You’ve earned the battle scars . . . and the right to heal. Sure, divorce is more common today, and people who are married or single can understand the pains and gains of such a massive split, but they don’t really understand it the way someone who is divorced does. When you’ve actually watched your marriage — that former fairy tale you used to dream about — crumble, it’s life changing on so many levels. It can feel isolating and lonely, but there truly is a whole tribe of people who know exactly how you feel. Keep reading for 20 relatable things only divorced people will get.

1. You Feel Happy About Something So Devastating

Only people who have been divorced understand how happy you can be about something that is also — for you and for many other people — devastating.

Read More: 15 Things About Divorce Only Divorced People Will Understand

I Get “It,”

Laura

9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Although you can get a guy who is a serial bachelor to commit, and then have the nice guy who suddenly goes “rogue,” there are key differences between men who can commit and men who won’t.

Usually, it’s a dead ringer and easy to tell which group a particular guy ends up belonging to, but for clarity’s sake (and to avoid heartache), let’s dish on the real differences.

1. Is he secure in himself?

Men who can commit: He’s secure in himself. He feels positive about who he is and knows that he has a lot to offer. He isn’t cocky or needy — he’s simply comfortable in his own skin.

Men who won’t commit: He’s cocky and feels entitled. Or he’s insecure, bitter and jaded. He isn’t rooted in the world as an individual and he can’t be committed to you. Picture him as a little leaf floating in the wind with no direction.

Read More: 9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Committed…or Not?

Laura