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9 New Traditions to Make in Your Life After Divorce

In divorce, divorce advice on October 16, 2017 at 1:04 am

If you’re recently divorced or just divorced, it’s sort of a baptism or conversion by fire. Suddenly you’re single. Suddenly perhaps, you’re raising children alone. Suddenly, your money is gone…you’re back in the workforce…

Whatever the case may be, divorce brings up sudden, and in many ways, irreversible changes to your life. And while some of these changes may be joyous, others may not be. You’re essentially sitting there with the pieces of your life saying, “Hmm, what is the best way to put this together in such a way that my life is better than it was before?”

Because we divorce to have a better life, don’t we? To have a better marriage. To have a better love. To have peace within our hearts and our homes and our children’s homes. To start afresh. To accept that sometimes, relationships end.

And to start your life off right whether you’re newly divorced or perhaps divorced for years and realizing that hey, I haven’t been doing this whole “post-divorce life” right….

You need new traditions! You need milestones and “evaluations” that symbolizes who you are and maybe even who your family is now, after divorce. These traditions will make your life feel and be special and positive.

These traditions will show that your home is not broken, just reconfigured.

1) Annual Divorceaversary

I don’t see this to be crude about divorce or trite but, each year as your divorce anniversary comes around, why not take it as a moment to evaluate:

  • How far you have come and maybe even how far your kids have come
  • Where you need to go to next
  • What things are you still struggling with? What are things your kids struggling with still?
  • Have you made peace with the divorce?
  • Are you having meaningful relationships, romantically and with friends and family?

Use this time to reflect on all you have done…and all you need to do still.

Read More: 9 New Traditions to Make in Your Life After Divorce 

All Fresh,

Laura

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10 Subtle Signs A Man Is Carrying A Broken Heart

In love, relationships on October 16, 2017 at 12:59 am

You’ve met this great guy, but there is something about him that just doesn’t seem quite right. Is it his mood? Does he seem hesitant around you? Does he talk about the ex periodically and when he does it’s like he’s sulking?

Before you become someone’s rebound and end up with your own broken heart, here are 10 signs his heart is broken and you need to beware before dating him.

1. He talks about his ex like he’s injured.

We all talk about our exes now and again. That’s normal as long as it’s not frequent. But when your new dude talks about his ex, he talks like he or she killed his cat or slashed his tires.

2. He’s very hesitant to commit.

He seems very into you but is extremely vague when talking about the future. It seems like he can’t decide what he wants: to keep you at a distance or to bring you closer. That hesitation to commit may be a sign he’s still broken-hearted.

3. He makes jaded comments about love.

When he talks about love, he sounds like a scorned teenage boy who will never believe in a happy ending. You feel a little like he’s been listening to too much Morrissey or The Smiths and wonder why he’s so downtrodden over love. Well, he’s that way because he’s still broken over someone that crushed his dreams and heart.

Read More: 10 Subtle Signs He’s Carrying A Broken Heart

 

Be Weary,

Laura

Why Saying Goodbye Can Mean Saying Hello To A Better Start

In divorce, love, relationships on October 8, 2017 at 2:37 am

Saying goodbye is probably the most painful thing, ever. It’s the worst word to ever utter. It’s right up there neck and neck with, “I don’t love you” or even worse:

Telling someone you love him or her…and that person not saying I love you back.

Goodbye is final. It’s depressing. It’s heartwrenching. It cuts you right in the gut.

Endings are the worst. Truly. There is no torture worse than a breakup or divorce, right?

Right…very right. And wrong.

When love is real and right, it doesn’t end. It doesn’t end for a few weeks or months. It doesn’t die. It might ebb and flow. You might have times in which your “love tank” for your partner is low.

But it doesn’t end. It doesn’t say goodbye. Real love persists, even when sometimes, g-d damnit, we wish we didn’t love someone …

Real love with someone is forever because it always exists.

So if you’re saying goodbye or someone is leaving you in the dust it is very painful, but sometimes?

It’s very right.

Saying goodbye means that there is a “Hello” about to come right around the corner.

Saying goodbye to someone who isn’t right for you, isn’t right to you, or you two aren’t right together…means a fresh start.

Saying goodbye means you are back on that train platform, waiting to see what destination awaits you.

Where your heart will take you next.

Read More: Why Saying Goodbye Can Mean Saying Hello To A Better Start 

Start Fresh,

Laura

10 Reasons to Believe in Yourself Even When Nothing Is Going Right

In life on October 8, 2017 at 2:30 am

The past year has been a series of event after event, after event. I feel like all I did was micromanage a series of paperwork, insurance companies, and other paper trails, or put out fires, whether it was helping a loved one of mine or dealing with damage control of some kind or the other. Financially? Just as hard . . . probably the hardest year I have ever had as a single mother. There were many times where I thought to myself . . .

“When is it going to get better?”

And:

“I’m just failing.”

I really doubted if I could handle “one more thing,” yet there was life, handing out “one more thing” to me again . . . and again . . . and again!

Here is the good news: I handled it. I am still handling it, and contrary to those negative thoughts of mine, I am not failing. Failing is really just not trying, right? Well, I try. I do more than try. I persist, resist, and insist on moving ahead. But the one thing that really saved me were the friends who told me that it would get better. Eventually, I too started to believe that it would get better and that I could do this.

“See?” said one of my best friends, “Look at all you are doing and handling with such class. I am proud of you.” I could do it. Even when times really suck, you need to believe that you will prevail no matter the circumstance, because if you believe it, you will be victorious!

Read More: 10 Reasons to Believe in Yourself Even When Nothing Is Going Right

It Gets Better,

Laura

7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom

In dating, dating advice, single mom on October 2, 2017 at 12:44 am

If you are dating a kick-ass single mom, congratulations! If you are attempting to date a kick-ass single mom…well, sit back, because I’ve got some things you need to hear.

 

As a single mom who is pretty badass and also dating, I’d like to share one thing you need to know before messaging me or any other single mom online or in real life:

 

We’re not desperate.

 

I know, I know. You went on Craig’s List. You watched an XXX video. You “heard” single moms are desperate horn balls just dying (insert my eye roll right here folks) for some male attention.

 

Apparently, the word on the street is single moms are just dying for some “big hulking man” to come and make her life better. Well, that my friends is the first thing on this list that you need to know in order to date a kick-ass single mom:

 

1. NO, DARLING, I’M NOT DESPERATE FOR YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME

Sure, every human on this earth loves sex and loves company. Well, besides intentionally celibate people I suppose.

 

But kick-ass single moms are not dying for sex. And hey, there are tools for that sort of issue if it becomes hairy, and truthfully, there are many of us single moms out in the world. Many of us dating.

 

We are not desperate to get in the sack with you. We can be just as choosy as you are, man with the annoyingly pretentious abdominal photos and braggery of his fifty vacation spots. Stop buying into the myth and find someone who is foolish enough to stroke your ego, thanks.

Read More:  7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom 

15 Signs He’s Really Unhappy in Your Relationship

In relationships on September 22, 2017 at 1:17 am

Is your significant other coming right out and saying he’s unhappy with your relationship? Most likely not. Men are more apt to keep things in or show their displeasure in other ways. Or perhaps he’s “telling” you he’s unhappy about isolated events or situations in your partnership, but hasn’t outright said, “Hey babe — this isn’t working for me.” Whatever the case may be, here are 15 signs he’s unhappy in your relationship.

  1. He’s wrapped up in other things . . . so much so that he doesn’t notice you like he used to. His distracted nature most likely is a sign that he’s upset about something. Whether it’s the two of you remains to be seen, but if he’s not paying attention to you like he used to . . . you’ve got an issue.

Read More: 15 Signs He’s Really Unhappy in Your Relationship

What Next?

Laura

5 Things You Should Not Be Ashamed to Do During and After Divorce

In divorce, divorce advice on September 22, 2017 at 1:09 am

Imagine a huge knotted ball of yarn in front of you. Imagine you’re trying to untangle each knot. Have you ever done that? Untangled a gold chain? A knot in your hair? Your shoelace? Your ball of yarn?

Can you recall the feeling of frustration and annoyance, as every time you thought you had the knot free and clear, you really didn’t? Can you remember the patience and persistence it took to get that knot free?

That my friends is divorce. Untangling your life from another’s. Learning to build another life as you pick away at “knots” often frustrated, but always, always requiring persistence.

With that said there will be things you may have to do during and after the divorce process that will feel frustrating and require you to be persistent and patient. Despite those feelings of discomfort and aggravation, please don’t be ashamed to do these things in order to cope with both the divorce itself and making a life for you once the divorce is done.

 

1- Get Financial Help

You may not have financial stability during this process. You may have once been comfortable. You may have come from a comfortable or middle-class family.

You may now be completely, financially unstable.

You may feel desperate at times and may wonder, “Which bill should I pay and which should I risk letting go?”

Here are things you should do—and don’t feel ashamed:

Read More: 5 Things You Should Not Be Ashamed to Do During and After Divorce

 

Stay Positive,

Laura

10 Times He’ll Say ‘I Love You’ (And What It Really Means)

In love, relationships on September 21, 2017 at 2:16 am

ome of us say “I love you” more easily than others but when he says “I love you,” sometimes it means a little more than just those three words. It depends on the context where the words are uttered and, of course, the unique relationship between the two people.

Those three words mean so much, but sometimes, they simply do more justice than spelling it all out for you. Here’s what it means when he says I love you, and how each utterance means something different.

1. When you lose a loved one

He can’t make it better for you, so when he says he loves you, he’s really saying, “I wish I could make the hurt go away.” He wants to eliminate your pain but instead can only offer his love and himself.

2. When you two are fighting

If he tells you he loves you as you two are fighting, there are a few things he may be trying to say:

  • Please stop thinking about why you’re mad and let me charm you.
  • I want the fighting to stop.
  • It’s okay if we don’t see eye-to-eye; I still love you anyway

Read More: 10 Times He’ll Say ‘I Love You’ (And What It Really Means)

What Does It Mean To You?

Laura

10 Things You SHOULD Do When Divorcing With Kids

In divorce, divorce advice on September 7, 2017 at 8:12 pm

There are some things that people intrinsically know and “say” they’re going to do if they are divorcing with kids…and then the divorce gets ugly.

And then…people stop behaving like adults in the best interest of the kids…and instead, in the best of interest of their own egos and attitudes…entirely in the worst way for their children!

This is not acceptable. We know way too much about the impact of divorce on children. We all love our kids. Just because the divorce is stressful it does not mean that parents get to forget about the little human beings that need them so very much to be, civil, mature and responsible.

Here are 10 things you SHOULD do when divorcing with kids if you want your kids to be happy, period.

 

1- Don’t Compare Them to The Ex – Keep To Yourself

Telling your kid in a negative tone of voice how “You remind me so much of your father/mother” or “You act so much like daddy/mommy,” is a surefire way to mess up your kids.

I don’t care if your child is your ex’s twin—be quiet! Keep those thoughts in your head. Save your issues with your ex for your ex, and not your innocent child.

 

2- Let The Small Stuff Slide

Does your ex-have the sneakers you bought at his or her house and not yours?

Does your child want to bring toys from your house to your ex’s? Does your child not feeling well and wants to sleep in at the exes during your custody time?

Let it slide. If it’s not happening constantly or affecting YOUR CHILD, drop it.

Read More:  10 Things You SHOULD Do When Divorcing With Kids

9 Things GOOD Men Do That Women Find SERIOUSLY Attractive

In love, relationships on September 7, 2017 at 8:09 pm

Let’s not pay attention to the bad boys because they leave us high and dry and really are no fun, save for a few bedroom romps. Honestly, if you’re over 21 I can tell you: bad boys lose their appeal. They’ve got a clear expiration date. They’re cute when they’re young but as a girl matures into a woman, her patience for them disappears.

And while the saying may be that “good men are hard to find,” they are not impossible to find. They do exist! And when we ladies find a good man, there are so many things about that person that we love that we cannot help but overlook the small things he might do to upset us.

Truly, when you break it down, bad guys are “boys” but good guys are “men.” Would you rather play with a boy, or run with a man?

Here’s what women find attractive and utterly irresistible about men that make bad boys look like little babies.

1. He’s handy.

No, we’re not helpless but I love a man who can fix things. And yes, I’m still a feminist but I’m smart enough to know what I do well and what I don’t. And women love a man who not only can fix things but who also want to fix things for us. Not because he thinks we’re helpless but because he wants to help and make things better for the woman he loves.

Read More: 9 Things GOOD Men Do That Women Find SERIOUSLY Attractive