The other day a friend of mine said, “All of a sudden the guys are coming out of the woodwork!” She had had a few good dates…and it seemed all the ex’s were popping up out of nowhere, randomly…and at once.
It’s always the case—for women at least…is it the same for men? I’m not sure. Guys—you’ll have to tell me.
Why is it that men seem to all come rushing for you at once, when just a month or even days ago, nobody had “boo” to say to you?
It’s the hunt.
Men smell when you don’t want them, need them or have forgotten them.
And then suddenly when they realize someone else is hunting you and you’re no longer an option to bring back to their cave, men come around to mark their territory. Or at least try to. This isn’t to say guys pee on you—but you get the gist of it.
So for example, at the beginning of the year, I had quite a few dates. Two people I saw a few times…but nothing that rocked my world. Then suddenly—
First, it was a slew of online guys firing at me with rapid messages—that at my discretion are turning into the 3 categories of: Dates, I’ll message you, and I’ll consider messaging you.
Then, he messaged me.
By “he,” I mean a guy from the past.
He wasn’t “the one” and we were never intimate. He and I had gone out a bit and had fun, but he seemed like an older party boy—or that he just wanted fun and sex, and me, I wasn’t intrigued enough by that. I like a man with depth—it’s a turn on—so it ended. Here and there, he would try to make plans with me but he didn’t compel me enough, so I just shrugged it off or canceled until recently. He wasn’t making me an offer that was worth my time.
But this time, he came on with the hard sell—gave the correct answers—which may indeed be just that—“answers”, and is making the effort needed to make me say, “Ok, I will go out with you on a date again.”
Why did he bother to reach out? And will it be anything of note? Do I even like him? I don’t know? Who knows?
But that’s not the point, but he decided he probably didn’t like that I had forgotten him and had no time for him. Suddenly, he’s scratching his head and saying,” Hmm—do I let this one get away or no?”
It’s not just him. It’s others.
Now, other people are “dialing back in” to see if Laura is still in their hunting ground…or not. Some random guy from the gym. A formerly distant match online goes for the solid run.
Why? Again– I am not offering myself up to anyone…I’m just listening to see what people have to offer…and I’m combing through to decide if it matches what I want.
What I’m saying is, if you want someone—you have to show him you’re worth the hunt— and stand your ground for what you want.
If you always make tiny compromises just to get a little of what you want, you’ll only get that very little.
If you stand firm with what you want, and you don’t lower yourself to get it…and you walk away if it’s not an offer you can’t refuse, you’ll eventually get what you want. So if you like someone and he’s wishy washy or perhaps offering you something you’re not comfortable or happy with, you walk away— and remove yourself from it…and eventually, he’ll come around. If he doesn’t, that’s fine—you don’t have to keep compromising yourself to get that little piece of nothing or that offer you’re not comfortable or happy with.
Say for example, you like this guy but he wants to just casually date, yet you’ve been doing this for six months or so and you’re tired of it. You’re getting an offer—but not the one you want. I say, leave him. He’ll either change his tune or you’ll get a better offer.
The more valuable you make yourself as a hunt in the game, the more folks who will aim for you and the more likely you are to get what you want. Period.
Let’s face it—when you see something that’s popular or well-liked, aren’t you intrigued? When you see someone who isn’t willing to settle with whatever a man or woman is giving him or her, don’t you find that this person is happier and more confident? The more you are out there being selective but being open, the more likely you are to have people knocking at your door.
So the more you date and keep your heart on hold from anyone taking it unless that person is giving you the offer you want, the more apt you are to have the offer you need…
And you may even get to choose.
Men like a chase. They don’t want games or dishonesty, but they like to feel that they have gotten the best pick out of their selection. They like to know you didn’t just stand there and become easy prey.
They like to know they found someone special.
So a word to the wise—and something that took me awhile to understand—don’t make yourself so available. Don’t settle for half of what you want…and don’t close off any opportunities from other people unless you’ve decided you’ve found your right hunter.
Love isn’t a game but you do have to be strategic or you’ll end up in the wrong relationship, for the wrong reasons.
Or you’ll end up settling for something that isn’t quite what you wanted but you took it because it was all that was offered.
Me personally? I would rather end up with the right person for the right reasons—and one of them being that that person can’t see a life without me—and I can’t see my life without that person, but I have yet to get an offer that I can’t refuse.
I would rather remain single and see who is out there to “gather” until someone gives me an offer that I cannot refuse.
Giving myself to someone is not an easy task. I don’t like to commit to anything unless the person is making that offer I cannot turn down.
And when it happens–—I’ll let you all know.
I’ll probably pinch myself.
In the meantime, happy hunting boys—I am still “gathering”
Blonde Gatherer Seeks Offer From Kind, Smart, Deep & Sexy,