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Archive for May, 2017|Monthly archive page

8 Little White Lies That Are OK to Tell Your Spouse

In marriage, marriage advice on May 13, 2017 at 9:09 pm

Honesty is the best policy . . . isn’t it? Well sometimes, it makes sense to tell a little white lie here and there to your spouse. Really. As contradictory as it sounds, a white lie on occasion will most likely save everyone’s sanity. Here are eight little secrets you can keep from your spouse without it hurting your marriage.

1. The Outfit Compliment

Really, if your spouse looks like an utter fool, it’s probably best you say something to save this person from embarrassment. However, there are many occasions someone might not really “rock” that new shirt, dress, or pair of pants but . . . your spouse loves it! It’s best you let your spouse feel good in that fashion choice. Don’t say a word, because if you do, most likely, it’s going to be the wrong thing!

2. When You Hate the BFF

If your spouse’s BFF is a big fat pain in the butt to you, most likely your spouse will see that the two of you don’t “jive” well. But if you really can’t stand this person, it’s advisable that you keep some of your critique to yourself. You don’t have to state that you love your spouse’s bestie, but you can hold back, and, if directly asked, soften the blow with a white lie like, “Well, we’re just different people.” Trust me, don’t mess with a spouse’s best friend . . . unless the person is toxic for your spouse.

Don’t Say It!
Laura

8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

In love, marriage, relationships on May 13, 2017 at 9:05 pm

Only children get a bad rep as being spoiled and self-centered. Personally? I just think the rest of us are so jealous on how good onlies can have it. The focus of their parents’ finances, hearts, and eyes. As the parent of an only, I can see drastic differences between her upbringing and mine, as the youngest of four girls. I can’t tell you how much I cherish having an only, although I would love to have stepchildren for sure. Onlies truly are resilient and bold creatures, making them in my opinion, pretty amazing partners! Here are eight reasons why only children are kick-ass amazing partners!

1. They’re Independent as HELL

While it may sound contradictory to say an independent person would be great in a couple, it’s not. Onlies are independent, meaning they won’t crush their partners with need. They are able to survive on their own and can offer a lot in a relationship. While being “too” independent can make people distant, onlies typically have close relationships with their parents from the very beginning years of life, making these independent gems able to connect with others all while still being self-sufficient.

2. They’re Creative

I spent a lot of time playing alone as a little kid because my sisters were older, but I had a neighbor down the street I could run to. With my only child, I hear the most amazing and creative “stories” playing out right in front of my eyes. Only children are creative because they have to be! If they grew up without kids to play with as much as their friends with siblings did, don’t you think they had to? Plus, only children don’t have “siblings” to take the heat from them when they get in trouble . . . or times are tough at home. They have to be creative to adapt or stay out of trouble. Your creative only child partner will keep things interesting and fresh. An only child as a partner is adaptive and inventive when the chips are down or up!

Read More:  8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

One is an Awesome Number,

Laura

9 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Marriage

In marriage, marriage advice on May 13, 2017 at 9:03 pm

While our friends are often our biggest supporters and “chosen family,” there are a few things you should avoid telling them about your marriage. Why? Well, in some cases it would just violate your spouse’s privacy, and in other cases, it could taint how people view the marriage . . . which can be detrimental in the long run. In certain situations, it may be advisable to only tell certain friends “certain things” and vice versa. No matter what, be careful when you share information about your marriage — lest it be held against either of you down the line.

1. Sexual Kinks

We all talk to our friends about sex . . . and it’s OK to share some details. However, if your partner has something he or she is very private about — say, he likes to wear women’s underwear or she likes to wear a strap on — whatever the case is regardless of sexual orientation and gender, be cautious about what you share with your friends. Sure, we all have that “one friend” we can reveal stuff to — I am typically that friend that people talk to — but not all friends need to know about a spouse’s proclivities, especially if he or she is not open about it to begin with.

2. Every Fight

Obviously, our friends are there to hear us out when we clash with our spouses, but if you give too much detail, be prepared for your friends, rightly or not rightly, to judge your spouse. If you’re on the verge of divorce, it’s another thing, but still, just be cautious, otherwise it can create a worse divorce process. If you’re in an abusive marriage, please share that with your friends. But, in most cases, it’s good to not divulge every vicious detail, and if you do, keep it to a few select friends.

Read More: 9 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Marriage

SSH,

Laura

Strangeness of Mothers Day After Divorce

In divorce, single mom on May 13, 2017 at 8:52 pm
In the three years my marriage ended, I’ve made a bunch of new traditions with my daughter for each holiday. Whether it’s Easter or Hanukkah (yeah, we’re that kind of family) or any other holiday, we’ve got new traditions we’ve been establishing for the past few years so that overall, the holidays feel “normal” to me. Well, except for when my daughter is not with me. That’s still really hard.

But the one “holiday” that still feels a bit weird is Mother’s Day. Mother’s Day growing up meant Dad was supposed to do stuff so Mom could do whatever she wanted. It was a nuclear family event and granted, I have one child and growing up, I was the youngest of four. Now that we are all older with our own lives, Mother’s Day has become less of an event. And when people ask me what I am doing for Mother’s Day, a part of me laughs inside and thinks, “Exactly what I do every other damn day.”

There’s no one doing anything for me. From sunrise to sunset, when you are a single parent, you are a single parent no matter what Hallmark or the rest of your married and coupled friends are doing. I will be lucky if my ex even thinks to have my daughter make me a card.

The reality is, it’s just one day out of the year and it’s one day that someone decided we should all celebrate Mothers of the world…but really, does it matter?

Read More: Strangeness of Mothers Day After Divorce 

Happy Mothers Day to the Single Moms Doing it All!

Laura

10 Things You MUST Do In Your First Year As A Divorcée

In divorce, divorce advice on May 13, 2017 at 8:50 pm

Everyone experiences the emotions of divorce differently, but that first year as a divorcee can be a variety of things. From transformative to stressful or perhaps both, the first year can set the stage for how you view life and love, post-marriage.

I highly recommend to all of you just getting your papers signed and official to make this year as positive as possible, even if there are quite a few sh*tstorms headed your way. Here are 9 things to do after a divorce that are absolutely necessary.

1. Start a new hobby.

It doesn’t matter what you choose, but pick a new hobby! If you’re broke and can’t get out of the house much, pick something you can do at home. I don’t care if it’s knitting, painting, scrapbooking, boxing, cycling — whatever hobby you choose, make it something you do for yourself. Not a hobby to meet a new partner or make friends (although making friends is great), but something you can do for you.

It’s time you got to know yourself again. Think of yourself like a plant: after a divorce, you’re dry and thirsty for food, water and sustenance. Feed yourself.

2. Get a physical.

How healthy are you really? After an ordeal like divorce, maybe you’re not as healthy as you would like to be. Get a physical. Get yourself checked out. Assess how you feel so you can decide how to take care of yourself from here on out. Remember, you’re a dry and starving plant.

Read More:  10 Things You MUST Do In Your First Year As A Divorcée

10 Tiny Things A Man Does When He’s About Ready To Break Up With You

In relationships on May 13, 2017 at 8:45 pm

You can never be certain someone is about to dump you, unless, of course, the person tells you. However, with that said, how many of you could predict some of your past breakups? I know I could. I felt that sick feeling in my stomach before it happened.

While I’m no psychic and I can’t predict your future, I can tell you that there are a few signs that a man might be about to dump you. If you notice these signs you can do one of three things: relax and let it unfold; ask him if that’s where’s headed (although, he may say no out of defense or uncertainty); or talk to him to see if there’s a way to salvage the relationship. You can also dump him first if you’re over him too, but if you still care about him don’t do it!!

Here’s how to tell a guy wants to break up with you.

1. He has a sudden voracious interest in himself.

Yes, your partner should have an independent life outside of the relationship, but if he suddenly puts all of his free time into things that don’t include you, be aware. Most likely, he’s prepping himself for a life that doesn’t include you.

Read More: 10 Tiny Things A Man Does When He’s About Ready To Break Up With You