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Archive for June, 2017|Monthly archive page

8 Secrets Your Partner Isn’t Telling You (and That’s OK)

In relationships on June 26, 2017 at 6:28 pm

Obviously two partners shouldn’t be hiding stuff from each other, especially two people who are monogamous and intimate. However, your partner doesn’t need to know your every single waking thought and moment, believe it or not. There are some things that your partner won’t tell you at all — or won’t tell you unless asked — and that’s OK. A little mystery never hurt the romance — and by mystery I mean mystery, not infidelity, addiction, money problems, or other huge relationship no-nos. The two of you should act as a unit, but this doesn’t mean the two of you should lose your identities within each other. Think of it this way: if you forget who you are, how can you still be the amazing person your partner fell for? Makes sense.

Here are some secrets your partner isn’t telling you, and that’s OK.

1. They Got Hit On Today

Do you really need to know about every wink and longing look? No. If you do, you’re insecure and controlling. All that counts is your partner didn’t cheat on you, emotionally or physically.

2. They Had an Issue at Work

This only matters if your partner is about to get laid off or happened to be fired . . . or perhaps if your partner really messed up at work. Even still, your partner may not tell you right away or at all until the issue really affects his or her job status. Why? Well, pride, essentially. He or she may feel disappointed as it is, so to disappoint you as well? That can be crushing.

Read More: 8 Secrets Your Partner Isn’t Telling You (and That’s OK)

It’s All Good,

Laura

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6 Life Lessons I Learned From Ballet

In fitness & wellness, life on June 26, 2017 at 6:25 pm

I always wanted to dance. Growing up, I wished to be enrolled in ballet but at the time, my parents couldn’t afford to send me. My older sisters had gone before me but financial fortune was not on my side. Once I hit high school and my parents could afford it, I started classes right away. When I went to college, I took more classes but still, I wasn’t good enough to make a living from dance so I eventually stopped.

But ballet is just so beautiful, it didn’t matter to me if I was the best or the worst. It felt great doing it. So finally, after a divorce, two moves, health issues, and a year from hell, I signed up again for an adult ballet class.

For just one hour a week, my financial stress, single-mom woes, dating dilemmas, ex-husband hassles, and other life stuff just melts away. My noisy brain is silent and strictly focused on assemblé, battement, and more. Every motion has my complete attention. I can’t bother to be sad, stressed, or think about the 50 million things on my to-do list. All I can be is in that very pose or position, whether in center or at the barre. Ballet’s beauty goes beyond the confines of the classroom; there are so many life lessons I have learned from my time dancing.

Read More: 6 Life Lessons I Learned From Ballet

 

Dance On,

Laura

10 Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Ex For Being a Good Dad This Fathers Day

In divorce, divorce advice, single dad on June 16, 2017 at 2:53 pm

Father’s Day is almost here, but you’re not living with the father of your child/children anymore. If your kids are older, they can certainly figure out a way to tell dad how much they love him, but for those of you with younger children…isn’t it up to you to do something?

Sure, a stepmother or new partner may hold the helm with these duties, but as mom of those children, if you’ve got an ex who is an active and good dad, you should step up and do something. You don’t have to drop cash on him or go all out like you used to because you’re not his wife…but they’re still his kids. If your ex is a good father, step up and show him your appreciation. It could be so much worse. Even if you’re still feeling the sting over the divorce, think of the many divorced parents who watch as the dad walks out on the kids’ lives. If your ex is in it for the long haul, show him how important he is on Father’s Day with these ideas.

1- Plan a Breakfast

If the kids are dying to make him breakfast, ask if he wouldn’t mind if you help the littles make breakfast for him. If his new partner is not happy with the idea, try inviting the new partner too.

What will an hour together hurt?

If the two of you can’t get along but he’s still an awesome dad, give the kids money and let them treat him to breakfast!

Read More: 10 Ways to Show Appreciation to Your Ex For Being a Good Dad This Fathers Day

Be Grateful If He’s Good,

Laura

Your Anxiety Is Lying to You — Here Are Helpful Ways to Overcome It

In anxiety, mental health on June 16, 2017 at 2:50 pm

Anxiety is a nasty devil. Anxiety will have you believing things that in no way are true and will unravel you to your last wit’s ends. Anxiety will ruin your belief in yourself and in others. Hands down, anxiety is an evil joker that will fool you and your sane brain and heart into believing myths that are just not true. Knowing that anxiety can trick you into believing falsehoods is powerful. Why? Because it then allows you to tell yourself that you cannot believe the “junk” that anxiety feeds you. And when you recognize that your anxiety is just “talking smack again,” you’ll begin to take back your life and loosen anxiety’s grip on your mind, heart, and life. Here are five things your anxiety is fooling you into believing.

1. People Don’t Like You

Your anxiety will have you believing people are talking about you, thinking poorly about you, or in general don’t like you. This is not the same as paranoia. Anxiety is different. Your anxiety will misinterpret things people say or do and have you thinking that, perhaps, a person doesn’t like you or is disappointed in you. Sure, sometimes someone might not like you . . . or your anxiety could have you misinterpreting social cues or panicking for no reason.

When this happens, breathe deeply and ask yourself these questions:

Read More: Your Anxiety Is Lying to You — Here Are Helpful Ways to Overcome It

Don’t Believe The BS,

Laura

Are You Harboring Resentment Against Your Ex?

In divorce, divorce advice on June 8, 2017 at 8:15 pm

One of the hardest things to do during or after a divorce, is let go of any resentment you might have towards a jerky ex.

I get it. You hate her. You hate him. He’s a piece of dog poo. She’s a mess. Your skin crawls when you hear his or her voice…your blood pressure rises with every single email or text from this human being.

Welcome to divorce. Wink.

If you loved your ex still, most likely you wouldn’t be divorced! This doesn’t mean that everyone who gets divorced hates his or her ex as some people remain friendly afterwards, but it’s not unusual to have a bit of dislike for your former partner.

Especially if your ex is a bad coparent, an absent coparent, financially wrecked you, doesn’t pay support, milks you for every cent…or many other numerous reasons. It’s very easy if you’re struggling to rebuild yourself after divorce with or without kids, to not feel a little pissed at the person who is doing you wrong, essentially.

However, anger is an emotion that while it seems to go one way, is an emotion that is both directed…and swallowed. What the heck does that mean? I’m asking myself that now.

It means that when you’re angry, the other party feels your anger, but so do you. They say that depression is anger turned inwards, right? Well if you’re angry at someone else, you’re bound to feel it. Dare I say it, you’re probably consumed with anger! It’s not exactly a very fleeting feeling…being angry at someone. But all that resentment you have towards your ex—is it really making this person a better person? Or is it just wasting your energy?

Read More: Are You Harboring Resentment Against Your Ex?

Let It Go,

Laura

If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

In marriage, marriage advice on June 8, 2017 at 1:24 am

Getting married may seem like a feat, but these days, it’s staying married that is the real task at hand. In a world that moves faster than we can really handle, it can be easy to let the basic tenets and principles of good love and partnership fall by the wayside, but don’t let that be your marriage! Don’t let it be you who is the lazy partner. Be present and aware of your partner and your marriage each day. Do these 10 things daily, and we won’t be surprised when year after year, you’re collecting another anniversary gift and enjoying another solid year of love with the person you said “I do” to!

1. Forgive

The best thing you can offer anyone you love is forgiveness. Each day, forgive. Forgive your partner for the flaws and mistakes. Unless it’s a major sin or breach of trust and respect, forgive. Your partner will never be perfect. He or she will always annoy you. Forgive and you will be happy and so will your spouse.

2. Touch

It doesn’t have to be a hot bedroom session, but touch your partner. Each day. Hug. Kiss. Hold hands. Rub his or her back. Touch. Touch is so vital — human contact reminds us that we’re there for each other, literally.

Read More: If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

Listen,

Laura

9 Signs You’re WAY Hotter At 30 Than You Were At 20

In women on June 8, 2017 at 12:17 am

Ladies, don’t take this the wrong way because you’re gorgeous at any and every age, but there is something about moving past your twenties that takes a woman from hot to intoxicating. I don’t think I’m the only one who thinks this, either.

But unless you’re skeptical and wondering how getting older can make you “hotter,” remember that sex appeal and beauty are not just about the absence of wrinkles or a perky butt. Sex appeal is a more sophisticated beast than just symmetrical and appealing facial features with a nice body to match.

Here are 9 reasons why you’re hotter in your thirties than your twenties.

1. You don’t worry about looking perfect.

When you’re in your twenties, your outfit, your makeup, your shoes, your everything has to be just right. Even if your look is boho chic, your “look” must be right. This desire for everything to be perfect is normal but stifling.

There’s something really sexy about not caring what you look like (within reason). And the older you get, the less likely you are to panic about these things; instead, you wear what you like and what works and don’t worry about if it’s just right.

Read More: 9 Signs You’re WAY Hotter At 30 Than You Were At 20

Confidence is Key,

Laura

The 5 Types of Moms Who Take Maternity Leave

In working mom life on June 7, 2017 at 5:57 pm

Yay! You’re having a baby. Your job threw you a party. Your coworkers said they’d miss you. They all can’t wait to meet your bundle of joy and hear all about your life as a mom … once you come back to work. You’re coming back, right?

You said yes—although perhaps, you might have crossed your fingers behind your back thinking, “We’ll see about that.” Or maybe you squealed earnestly that you couldn’t wait to get back to your best work buds. How could you survive without them? How could you survive without being in your work element?

Whoever you are on the spectrum of moms taking maternity leave, you’ll probably find yourself in one of these well-known types.

1. The Desperate Coworker:

You feel left out as you watch your coworkers post happy hour selfies on social media. You wonder, “Is that an inside joke about the delivery guy?” You call, text and comment, desperately trying to be included at work …. So much so, your coworkers have referred to you as the nagging younger sister.

Read More: The 5 Types of Moms Who Take Maternity Leave

Working Mom Life,

Laura

9 Signs You’re Not Radically Accepting Him (And It’s Going To Hurt You BOTH)

In marriage, relationships on June 7, 2017 at 1:48 am

As Andrea Miller describes in her book Radical Acceptance, radically accepting your partner isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. Radically accepting this person for who he or she is; radically accepting yourself for who you are; recognizing when your own junk and baggage are creeping into your relationship; recognizing when your desires and needs are projected onto your partner; forgetting that he or she has his or her own unique desires and needs; recognizing when you are getting in the way of your own happiness with your partner; acceptance of yourself and your partner —  this is what love takes.

Here are 9 signs you’re not practicing radical acceptance with your partner.

1. You push them.

This is one I had to learn myself. Pushing someone because you need him or her to do what you want him or her to do won’t help the relationship. It must come from the other person, and if it doesn’t, either you wait for it to come in his or her own time or you decide you cannot be with the person.

If you are pushing your partner to do/be/say something, you are actively asking this person to push you back — and not in the best way. Quit it. Let this person come to around; if not, then you make the choice if this relationship works for you or not.

Read More: 9 Signs You’re Not Radically Accepting Him (And It’s Going To Hurt You BOTH)

Accept Him/Her,

Laura

I Love It When My Spouse Says…

In love, marriage, relationships, romance on June 6, 2017 at 2:21 am

We all want to be told that we are loved — but not everyone wants to be told that in the exact same way! Does your spouse or partner speak your love language? For these people I spoke to, their spouses had something to say that just gets right into their very hearts and souls.

These 28 phrases, whether sexy, sensual, sweet, or kind, really make these married hearts go aflutter!

What does your spouse say that makes you feel so loved?

  1. “I’ll give the kids a bath tonight.”
  2. “Take all the time you need.”
  3. “Good job!”
  4. “You amaze me!”
  5. “Go take a nap — I’ve got this.”
  6. “Everything would fall apart without you.”
  7. “I thought about you a lot today.”
  8. “Meow!”

Read More: I Love it When My Spouse Says…

 

Speak to Her/Him,

Laura