As Andrea Miller describes in her book Radical Acceptance, radically accepting your partner isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. Radically accepting this person for who he or she is; radically accepting yourself for who you are; recognizing when your own junk and baggage are creeping into your relationship; recognizing when your desires and needs are projected onto your partner; forgetting that he or she has his or her own unique desires and needs; recognizing when you are getting in the way of your own happiness with your partner; acceptance of yourself and your partner — this is what love takes.
Here are 9 signs you’re not practicing radical acceptance with your partner.
1. You push them.
This is one I had to learn myself. Pushing someone because you need him or her to do what you want him or her to do won’t help the relationship. It must come from the other person, and if it doesn’t, either you wait for it to come in his or her own time or you decide you cannot be with the person.
If you are pushing your partner to do/be/say something, you are actively asking this person to push you back — and not in the best way. Quit it. Let this person come to around; if not, then you make the choice if this relationship works for you or not.