Enjoying The Treats of Divorce

It’s easy to focus on the “tricks” or downsides of divorce only because that is usually what people focus on and talk about, whether inside or outside of the divorce. The money spent on lawyers…or the time spent getting divorce…or both. The paperwork. The loss of assets. The fighting. The splitting of custody. The kids’ heartaches. Your heartaches. Your spouse’s heartaches. The drama.

People tend to focus on all the sh*tshow aspects of divorce that make it like a soap opera because it can be that devastating and for the “outsiders” who aren’t getting the actual divorce, it’s fodder for gossip.

That said, so rarely do people dish and share all the “treats” of divorce. And for those people who do enjoy such treats, there may be a guilt factor like, “Why am I not mourning this?” or “Why am I so happy now?”

Well, you wouldn’t be getting a divorce if your marriage was sunshine and kittens, now would you?

Read More: Enjoying the Treats of Divorce

Trick or Treat,

Laura

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The Difference Between Emotionally Unavailable Vs. Emotionally Available Men

When we talk about someone being emotionally available, just exactly what do we mean? It’s not like we can just “check out” someone’s emotions or available nature like a library book. And it’s not like we can tell off the bat if someone is emotionally available or not — unless, of course, the person tells us at “Hello!” or walks around with a label on him or her.

If you’re trying to determine the signs he’s emotionally unavailable versus the signs he’s emotionally available, use this little “guide” that will help you determine if your potential love is free to make something grow and build with you, or if that person is “closed” for emotional and romantic business.

Read More: The Difference Between Emotionally Unavailable Vs. Emotionally Available Men

Available…or Not,

Laura

9 Secrets Things Couples Who STAY Infatuated With Each Other Do (That The Rest Of Us Overlook)

Staying infatuated with your partner is not necessarily common or easy, but is a special love ever common? I’d say no.

There are indeed a few secrets and habits that couples who are infatuated with each other have in order to keep the heat lasting day in and day out. So, if you’re newly coupled or coupled forever and want to either maintain the heat or keep the flame and passion going, here’s how to make him infatuated with you.

Learning these secrets and habits will ensure your relationship stays strong.

1. They expand their sexual horizons.

Most couples who have an intense infatuation with each other tend to have nontraditional sex lives or work hard to keep it fresh. This means they’re open to, perhaps, fetishes, S&M, role-playing, dirty talk, lingerie, or seductive photos.

Wilder couples might be into couple swapping or public acts of sex, but even if you two are mild-mannered (sexually speaking), many couples are open to lingerie, dirty talk or some light S&M. So, you don’t have to go all out and crazy, but infatuated couples keep it fresh.

Read More: 9 Secrets Things Couples Who STAY Infatuated With Each Other Do (That The Rest Of Us Overlook)

So OBSESSED,

Laura

9 New Traditions to Make in Your Life After Divorce

If you’re recently divorced or just divorced, it’s sort of a baptism or conversion by fire. Suddenly you’re single. Suddenly perhaps, you’re raising children alone. Suddenly, your money is gone…you’re back in the workforce…

Whatever the case may be, divorce brings up sudden, and in many ways, irreversible changes to your life. And while some of these changes may be joyous, others may not be. You’re essentially sitting there with the pieces of your life saying, “Hmm, what is the best way to put this together in such a way that my life is better than it was before?”

Because we divorce to have a better life, don’t we? To have a better marriage. To have a better love. To have peace within our hearts and our homes and our children’s homes. To start afresh. To accept that sometimes, relationships end.

And to start your life off right whether you’re newly divorced or perhaps divorced for years and realizing that hey, I haven’t been doing this whole “post-divorce life” right….

You need new traditions! You need milestones and “evaluations” that symbolizes who you are and maybe even who your family is now, after divorce. These traditions will make your life feel and be special and positive.

These traditions will show that your home is not broken, just reconfigured.

1) Annual Divorceaversary

I don’t see this to be crude about divorce or trite but, each year as your divorce anniversary comes around, why not take it as a moment to evaluate:

  • How far you have come and maybe even how far your kids have come
  • Where you need to go to next
  • What things are you still struggling with? What are things your kids struggling with still?
  • Have you made peace with the divorce?
  • Are you having meaningful relationships, romantically and with friends and family?

Use this time to reflect on all you have done…and all you need to do still.

Read More: 9 New Traditions to Make in Your Life After Divorce 

All Fresh,

Laura

10 Subtle Signs A Man Is Carrying A Broken Heart

You’ve met this great guy, but there is something about him that just doesn’t seem quite right. Is it his mood? Does he seem hesitant around you? Does he talk about the ex periodically and when he does it’s like he’s sulking?

Before you become someone’s rebound and end up with your own broken heart, here are 10 signs his heart is broken and you need to beware before dating him.

1. He talks about his ex like he’s injured.

We all talk about our exes now and again. That’s normal as long as it’s not frequent. But when your new dude talks about his ex, he talks like he or she killed his cat or slashed his tires.

2. He’s very hesitant to commit.

He seems very into you but is extremely vague when talking about the future. It seems like he can’t decide what he wants: to keep you at a distance or to bring you closer. That hesitation to commit may be a sign he’s still broken-hearted.

3. He makes jaded comments about love.

When he talks about love, he sounds like a scorned teenage boy who will never believe in a happy ending. You feel a little like he’s been listening to too much Morrissey or The Smiths and wonder why he’s so downtrodden over love. Well, he’s that way because he’s still broken over someone that crushed his dreams and heart.

Read More: 10 Subtle Signs He’s Carrying A Broken Heart

 

Be Weary,

Laura

Why Saying Goodbye Can Mean Saying Hello To A Better Start

Saying goodbye is probably the most painful thing, ever. It’s the worst word to ever utter. It’s right up there neck and neck with, “I don’t love you” or even worse:

Telling someone you love him or her…and that person not saying I love you back.

Goodbye is final. It’s depressing. It’s heartwrenching. It cuts you right in the gut.

Endings are the worst. Truly. There is no torture worse than a breakup or divorce, right?

Right…very right. And wrong.

When love is real and right, it doesn’t end. It doesn’t end for a few weeks or months. It doesn’t die. It might ebb and flow. You might have times in which your “love tank” for your partner is low.

But it doesn’t end. It doesn’t say goodbye. Real love persists, even when sometimes, g-d damnit, we wish we didn’t love someone …

Real love with someone is forever because it always exists.

So if you’re saying goodbye or someone is leaving you in the dust it is very painful, but sometimes?

It’s very right.

Saying goodbye means that there is a “Hello” about to come right around the corner.

Saying goodbye to someone who isn’t right for you, isn’t right to you, or you two aren’t right together…means a fresh start.

Saying goodbye means you are back on that train platform, waiting to see what destination awaits you.

Where your heart will take you next.

Read More: Why Saying Goodbye Can Mean Saying Hello To A Better Start 

Start Fresh,

Laura

10 Reasons to Believe in Yourself Even When Nothing Is Going Right

The past year has been a series of event after event, after event. I feel like all I did was micromanage a series of paperwork, insurance companies, and other paper trails, or put out fires, whether it was helping a loved one of mine or dealing with damage control of some kind or the other. Financially? Just as hard . . . probably the hardest year I have ever had as a single mother. There were many times where I thought to myself . . .

“When is it going to get better?”

And:

“I’m just failing.”

I really doubted if I could handle “one more thing,” yet there was life, handing out “one more thing” to me again . . . and again . . . and again!

Here is the good news: I handled it. I am still handling it, and contrary to those negative thoughts of mine, I am not failing. Failing is really just not trying, right? Well, I try. I do more than try. I persist, resist, and insist on moving ahead. But the one thing that really saved me were the friends who told me that it would get better. Eventually, I too started to believe that it would get better and that I could do this.

“See?” said one of my best friends, “Look at all you are doing and handling with such class. I am proud of you.” I could do it. Even when times really suck, you need to believe that you will prevail no matter the circumstance, because if you believe it, you will be victorious!

Read More: 10 Reasons to Believe in Yourself Even When Nothing Is Going Right

It Gets Better,

Laura

7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom

If you are dating a kick-ass single mom, congratulations! If you are attempting to date a kick-ass single mom…well, sit back, because I’ve got some things you need to hear.

 

As a single mom who is pretty badass and also dating, I’d like to share one thing you need to know before messaging me or any other single mom online or in real life:

 

We’re not desperate.

 

I know, I know. You went on Craig’s List. You watched an XXX video. You “heard” single moms are desperate horn balls just dying (insert my eye roll right here folks) for some male attention.

 

Apparently, the word on the street is single moms are just dying for some “big hulking man” to come and make her life better. Well, that my friends is the first thing on this list that you need to know in order to date a kick-ass single mom:

 

1. NO, DARLING, I’M NOT DESPERATE FOR YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME

Sure, every human on this earth loves sex and loves company. Well, besides intentionally celibate people I suppose.

 

But kick-ass single moms are not dying for sex. And hey, there are tools for that sort of issue if it becomes hairy, and truthfully, there are many of us single moms out in the world. Many of us dating.

 

We are not desperate to get in the sack with you. We can be just as choosy as you are, man with the annoyingly pretentious abdominal photos and braggery of his fifty vacation spots. Stop buying into the myth and find someone who is foolish enough to stroke your ego, thanks.

Read More:  7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom