When you’ve been through the trenches, you know how the war goes. That’s exactly how it is when you’ve been through a divorce. You’ve lived to tell the tale. You’ve earned the battle scars . . . and the right to heal. Sure, divorce is more common today, and people who are married or single can understand the pains and gains of such a massive split, but they don’t really understand it the way someone who is divorced does. When you’ve actually watched your marriage — that former fairy tale you used to dream about — crumble, it’s life changing on so many levels. It can feel isolating and lonely, but there truly is a whole tribe of people who know exactly how you feel. Keep reading for 20 relatable things only divorced people will get.

1. You Feel Happy About Something So Devastating

Only people who have been divorced understand how happy you can be about something that is also — for you and for many other people — devastating.

Read More: 15 Things About Divorce Only Divorced People Will Understand

I Get “It,”

Laura