Have you been crying or depressed over someone? Agonizing over why the person won’t commit, dumped you or is annoying in some other way?
Join the club. We’ve all felt that torturous sting of love. The one woman/man who can’t make up her mind. The guy/gal who can’t commit for sh*t. The other flake who dumped you out of nowhere. The dude that ghosted you.
It’s hard to recover when your heart hurts and it feels like the pain will never end. But it will.
Read on for 6 steps on how to get over that chump, get your revenge and move forward!
1. Be good to yourself
When you’re hurting, you need a little TLC. You need to treat yourself– don’t over indulge, but:
- See friends and loved ones
- Take extra time for hobbies
- Get that sleep– sleep deprivation only makes depression and heartache worse
- Get a massage or facial– a pedicure … if you’re a guy, those pedicures and massages are damn good if you’ve never tried
- Do some meditation or yoga– use essential oils like lavender to relax
- Tell yourself in the mirror all the wonderful things about yourself
- Chant personal positive mantras to focus your mind on good things ahead
Whatever you do, go easy on yourself and don’t beat yourself up. I know when my heart hurts, I tend to pick at myself and feel “less than.” Don’t do that.
2. Get it on with someone else (dates– sex– whatever you are ready for)
As Betty White says, “The best way to get over a (wo)man is to get under another one,” and Betty might be right.
Under certain terms.
One– don’t sleep with another jerk, especially if the person who hurt you was a jerk. Two– don’t lead someone on. Three– be open and make sure you let the person know you’re just looking to have fun and enjoy yourself.
This doesn’t have to be sex. It can be fooling around or, just going out to dinner and dates without sex.
Dating around and keeping your distance as you heal from someone who did you dirty and wrong is a great idea. Just don’t get involved too quickly in case you pick another dud.
Whatever you do– don’t rush into something but don’t sit and dwell on that chump who dumped or broke your heart. Get out there! Have fun dating and just enjoy the process. Enjoy the attention that Mr. Or Ms. “Doo-Doo Head” didn’t give you.
- If that person loved you– he or she would commit, not dump you and not hurt you. If the person really cares, he or she will come back around. Otherwise, it wasn’t meant to be and don’t sweat the fool!
- You’re wonderful– don’t forget it. Just because some dummy doesn’t realize it, doesn’t mean you’re not fabulous. That person is just foolish and a better catch will come your way!
3. Succeed and let that chump watch in dismay
Get that rockin’ divorce body. Shed those pounds. Get that raise. Buy a home. Land a business deal. Whatever you do, achieve a goal! Chances are that silly fluff ball will find out and see how great you’re doing and sit and think, “Damn, I’m dumb!”
There is nothing like the revenge of success. Trust me– I’ve had many guys sit and feel foolish, watching me move on and do well for myself. There is no better revenge that the taste of success. Plus, it focuses your attention on something positive, and not on the heartbreak. It distracts you from the pain and helps you rebuild your confidence.
Really– someone dumping or not committing or hurting you can be hard on your self-esteem. Try to remind yourself that most likely:
- It’s him/her, not you … you are 100% lovable, even with your bad traits
- Just because the person left you or hurt you, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person or won’t be loved again
4. Don’t reach out
Don’t reach out. Don’t talk to the person. Be cold and curt or short and brief if the person reaches out to you unless the person wants to– make changes, commit– repair the relationship, whatever it is.
Don’t let your mind think of that person. That person doesn’t deserve to hear from you. If he or she wants to talk to you so bad, that person can make the effort. And it better be a good effort if the person hurt you!
5. Remind yourself of this person’s bad traits
Every time you feel sad, remind yourself of all the bad traits this person has.
Remind yourself of everything this person is doing wrong.
If the person really cares as I’ve said before … he or she will make it right and fix what that person broke (your heart).
6. Stay busy, have fun (if the heartbreaker sees this, all the better)
Try to stay busy and not sit around too much crying. It’s ok if you need to isolate yourself for a while, but try to get out and do stuff. Join groups, go on dates, exercise, take up hobbies, etc.
Whatever you do, don’t have too much empty hours because otherwise, it will make the heartache worse.
Heartbreak sucks. It can be really hard to overcome– so I send all my love to the heartbroken.
Just remember– that person is the loser. Not you.