The Most Important Thing to Look For in a Partner as a Single Man or Woman

As you’re swiping, scoping or chatting with potential partners, I bet the first two things that strike you are:

  • The person’s looks
  • The person’s attitude

After you’ve assessed those two basic things, you drill down into the nitty gritty– especially if you’re a single parent dating:

  • Do they have kids? If yes, do they see them often. If no, do they want kids?
  • Were they married? Do they want to get married again?
  • What do they do for work?
  • What’s the person’s lifestyle like?
  • What are the person’s goals for the next year or so?
  • Where do they live? Is it far from you? Do they live on their own or with other people?

All of these things give you an idea of whether you’ll want to date them– or not. And truly, they are all important factors but after it’s all said and done and you’ve found someone who fits the bill on all of the previously mentioned factors– consider this one single most important thing you should look for in a partner:

Do they show up for you? Do they show up for you in a positive, support and present manner?

A combative partner shows up to fight. This person seeks to argue or find flaws with you. This person picks and chooses how available he or she is, and is accessible based on his/her conditions.

You don’t want that partner.

reluctant or passive  partner shows up with hesitation. This person doubts or doesn’t quite understand your needs or desires in life. He or she can’t get a feel for your goals or perhaps, is intimidated by the ones you set for yourself. This person shows up with hesitation.

You don’t want that partner.

one-sided partner shows up for what he or she thinks you need to do. If it aligns with this person’s ideas, he or she will be by your side like a stage mom. If it doesn’t align, the person will be nowhere to be found.

You don’t want that partner.

supportive, available and open partner shows up to support you based on your needs. This person shows up for the happy celebrations and victories, as well as the tough times. He or she will hold your hand at the doctor just as eagerly as during a birthday party. This person does not encourage you to be destructive or make bad choices, but this person does support your life goals and wants to see you reach your best potential. This person is actively rooting for you and tries to understand where you are coming from and who you want to become.

This person shows up each and every time to be there for you. Of course, emergencies do happen– but you catch my drift.

This person holds you in his or her heart and hands when you need comfort most.

This person lifts you up when you can’t walk another step– literally or figuratively.

This person lets you shine and when you dim, they try to bring you back to the light.

This is the person worth waiting for and committing to.

Everyone else is not worth it.

At all.

And not to mention– you should be this person to your partner as well.

Are you discouraged? That’s ok. It may feel difficult to even meet someone so amazing, but that person exists.

Be patient.

Do not settle. Be open and someone will walk in when you least expect it.

If you do those three things, it will happen for you.

With Love,





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