There is no greater pain than love and commitment not returned or worse, retracted.
It is very easy to blame yourself for this person’s state of mind and feeling. It is very easy to retreat into your pain.
But, here are a few things you should do when dealing with someone who can’t commit to save your sanity:
1. Remember It’s Not You– It’s Them
The person has issues with commitment that probably have nothing to do with you. You have no idea what the person may have experienced prior to meeting you. That person could be a mess. Maybe they don’t know good love from bad love.
And even if it’s you like, say you aren’t a match for them or they don’t love you back … it doesn’t mean you aren’t a match for someone else.
2. Cut The Person Off
No matter how good you are or how much you give of yourself, does the person still resist commitment?
If the answer is yes, cut the person off.
You can’t change this person and trying to be “perfect” and worthy is only going to hurt you. Because you are already worthy and lovable as is. This person is just foolish and can’t see that. Oh well– his/her loss!
Cut the person off and if this person really cares about you he or she will miss you and wisen up fast. If the person doesn’t change, then he or she didn’t care about you to start and you meant nothing to that person.
First step is to cut the person off and let the person be alone and simmer in the situation without you around to remind the person how great you are.
Sometimes you must walk away to get what you want. And if this person doesn’t come around– trust me, someone else will. And then it will be No Commitment Claire or Charlie’s loss. Too bad, so sad sucka.
3. Don’t Beg Them to Change Their Mind
Someone who doesn’t want to commit doesn’t want to commit. Don’t beg! You’re not a dog! If that person is set on being without you– then screw him or her. Let him or her see how life will be without you.
4. Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Sometimes people make bad choices no matter how awesome you are. Unless you were cruel, cheated or abused the person– don’t blame yourself.