There is a clear difference between people who value you and people who take you for granted, yet sometimes when we are vulnerable, not confident or naive, we miss these clear signs.
A lot of the time, I see women and men being taken for granted when they are already in a vulnerable state and can’t see the writing on the wall until it’s too late.
To prevent anyone from getting hurt, I’ve made a little quick ‘Go-to Guide’ to help you see clearly. Maybe I can prevent a few heartaches.
1- Someone who values you invests in you. Someone who takes you for granted “checks in”when it works for him or her
Someone who cares about you invests his or her:
- Emotional Resources and energy
This person devotes the time to you because he or she sees you as an investment.
Someone who takes you for granted just checks in.
- Spends time with you when convenient for him or her
- Does not allow him or herself to get attached to you
- Is hot and cold with love and emotional resources
2- Someone who values you wants you. Someone who takes you for granted wants what you do for him or her in the moment.
Someone who values you really wants to do everything he or she can to keep the relationship going. This person can’t imagine being without you and really enjoys your company. This person really accepts you and loves you for your good and bad sides.
Someone who takes you for granted wants you in the moment. He or she wants what you might have, whether it is:
- Something to do
But once the person has enough of you, he or she is gone.
You don’t fit into their life and goals. You fit in for a moment but ultimately, the person is just not invested in you to care enough to make the effort needed for a real connection.
3- Someone who values you makes a life with you. Someone who takes you for granted makes an hour for you.
Does your love interest:
- Make time to see you consistently OR is inconsistent and all over the place when it comes to his or her time?
- Introduce you to people in their lives and include you in his or her daily routine OR keeps you from knowing anyone in their lives and doesn’t include you in the routine?
- Plans out goals with you and takes time to understand you OR hides feelings and goals from you?
It’s so obvious that the second option in each example is someone who doesn’t value you.
I hope this guide helps someone. I hope it helps someone find someone who values him or her.
Everyone deserves to be valued and loved. Everyone. You are not a 7-11 or a convenience store.
Don’t forget that.