What Its Like to Be a Reluctant Dater

I took a break this year– about 5.5 months from dating altogether. I needed a break from the swiping, chatting and searching. It wasn’t getting me far and I wasn’t having fun. I enjoyed a nice peaceful summer at the beach and I don’t regret it.

Now, I’d like to date but I find myself reluctant on many levels and I wonder if I will ever have someone pull me out of this reluctancy.

To start, I married the wrong person– and I am reminded of this periodically even after all this time. The good news is I’m divorced. Happily. Separated almost six years and divorced almost four years.

So why still the hesitancy?

1. I Don’t Need Anyone Unless He’s Amazing

I guess I’d rather do my own thing and not feel restricted unless someone really gets and keeps my attention. Keeping my attention is not easy. I have limited time and attention available and cherish my time dancing or with my daughter and friends so much that I really don’t want someone else in the mix unless it is emotionally, intellectually and physically benefiting.

2. I Don’t Want to Repeat Mistakes

So, I am cautious. Not so cautious that I’d never give anyone a chance, but cautious enough to say make sure I enter into something good. Don’t settle.

I don’t want to end up with someone who is cruel again.  I want to be sure whoever I dates is worthy of meeting my kid at some point down the line.

3. I Don’t Have Much Patience for Online Dating

I’m an interactive person who needs things to be firing on all cylinders. I try to be patient with the whole online way of life that dating has now become, but I find it boring.

4. I Really Believe That Things Work Out As They Should

Going through a bunch of profiles seems tedious, but waiting for the right person to come along seems natural.

And also, annoying. Waiting is not a lot of fun.

I still believe though that things work out as they should. Not to say one should be careless or sit back and do nothing with one’s relationships, but that things usually work out for the best– or as they should be.

I’m expecting time to work this love matter out for me.

So, as 2019 wraps up, I look to 2020 with hopes that something engaging and magical will come my way. Yes– loving and kind people are a magic and light to our souls.

Looking Forward,


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