After a very difficult few weeks– and a few still upcoming, I was pretty spent. Tired, lack of appetite and a bit quiet.
Yet, as Thanksgiving, Christmas and Hannukah and the New Year approaches, I remain pretty grateful even despite.
I didn’t find love or create as much work as I wanted to in 2019. I didn’t do as much financially as I wanted to in terms of debt management or savings.
But I did pay down quite a bit. I did make some huge strides financially. I learned a whole new skill (tap dancing and jazz). I improved my turns (ballet) and form at the barre. I wrote and found new clients and did my final pieces for former clients. I just got word from another writer about forming a long-distance writing group. I may do two recitals in 2020.
And I got closer to my child.
This past weekend, I got so many hugs from her– and I could see the results of the care I provide and protection I give for her. More often than not, I put myself aside to make things work for her. I am one person with a lot of responsibility so sometimes, I cannot do as much as I would like– but I am still one person who really cares.
Despite my picture book reality for 2019 not being as picture book-esque as I would like, I have made many wins this year.
I have become stronger and more clear-sighted. I have become more aware of the things I need to work on– and the things I do well.
I have learned more about my child and watched her change quite a bit. I have tried my best to keep her from situations that aren’t good for her like any mother would.
The bottom line is you don’t need to have a lot to show to know you’ve accomplished a lot.
You don’t need “a lot” to be happy.
Everything I still want will come in time. Everything also comes in its own time.