3 Things to NOT Do When Supporting a Loved One After Abuse

If you have a friend, romantic partner or family member who has been physically, emotionally, verbally or financially abused, this person needs your support.

If you really care, these are something things you can avoid doing to make this person’s recovery better and smooth.

1. Don’t Avoid Talking About It 

If this person brings up the event or abuse, don’t dodge talking about it. Obviously it’s not the most fun topic to chat about, but  avoiding the topic is basically invalidating how the person feels. Talking about something like abuse is not easy so if the person gets the courage to discuss, let them talk. It takes a lot of courage.


2. Don’t Avoid The Person

Get the person out to have fun if this individual is willing. If he or she is not, pull up a chair and just sit next to the person or offer a hug.

Don’t avoid the individual thinking he or she just wants to be alone. While a person may need alone time after abuse or trauma, most likely the person is already isolating him or herself. Your loved one needs you to come around and show your face.

3. Don’t Expect a Linear Recovery– Expect Uneven Timelines

Out of nowhere, your loved one could feel sad, angry or anxious without explanation or, perhaps from recalling abuse or seeing an abuser in passing.

Expect this person’s recovery to have peaks and valleys, ups and downs, highs and lows.

You get the drift.

Be this person’s beacon. Be this person’s friend. Be the person you would need if it were you in his or her shoes.

Lighting a Path,


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