Sometimes we hit hard patches in life and we have to give up things we love. At the tail end of this year, I got hit with something that cost me financially a lot to handle– but I had to handle it. I couldn’t walk away or retreat from the matter and I ended up doing the right thing. But as a single parent, it was a financial hit I didn’t need as I already had endured enough the past six years. Not to mention the holidays– as much as I try to watch my funds and stick to a budget– it still costs– even with me being mindful.
So, after tallying up what I will need to pay for the next month or so, it hit me I may have to give up some things I love and some I even need in order to keep going, which really hurts. No one truly knows the financial sacrifices involved when you are a single parent– unless you are one as well.
My most favorite thing and really my one source of consistent artistic and physical joy, is dance.
I started taking ballet almost 3 years ago and tap and jazz, about a year ago. I had done classes previously in modern, hip hop, lyrical and ballet– but not much. Not like this.
I have always juggled taking the classes with my finances. Sometimes, I missed a week– or took one class and not two. Sometimes I had to miss a few weeks. I always somehow managed to make it work overall though, and was as consistent as I could be with my financial situation considered. I knew from the start I would be limited of course, but I made a lot of gains, dance-wise and it has brought me immense happiness.
But it’s just not seeming to come as easy, financially the past few months.
There are some things health wise I need to take care of too. I don’t think I can do it anymore.
Again– it can all change. When you work full-time and freelance as well, things ebb and flow. Anything is possible but right now, the numbers aren’t adding up however … I know me and I will try my best to find a way. The New Year is coming and I am already doing my best to make contacts and headway with different leads. With my hunting mindset, I may not have to give up things I need to do or want to do, but I am leary that I will have to. I pray I do not.
This is exactly what being a single parent is– the hunter-gatherer.
I hunt, I gather … and hunt some more. The evolutionary unit … in one body.
I will keep hunting and gather any resources I have to keep going. It’s what you do as a single parent. It gets exhausting, but there is no other way. And this is why I say– two heads are better than one. I am only one person and can only do so much.
At the end of the day though, I remind myself for all I do have. That this too shall pass, and that I invested my money in a matter that I absolutely had to– had no choice– and so I can rest easy that I am doing all I can.
To all the single parents watching their pennies, I pray you find some financial ease in 2020,