Giving Up Things You Need & Love: Life As a Single Parent


Photo by Sergei Gavrilov on Unsplash

Sometimes we hit hard patches in life and we have to give up things we love. At the tail end of this year, I got hit with something that cost me financially a lot to handle– but I had to handle it. I couldn’t walk away or retreat from the matter and I ended up doing the right thing. But as a single parent, it was a financial hit I didn’t need as I already had endured enough the past six years. Not to mention the holidays– as much as I try to watch my funds and stick to a budget– it still costs– even with me being mindful.

So, after tallying up what I will need to pay for the next month or so, it hit me I may have to give up some things I love and some I even need in order to keep going, which really hurts. No one truly knows the financial sacrifices involved when you are a single parent– unless you are one as well.

My most favorite thing and really my one source of consistent artistic and physical joy, is dance.

I started taking ballet almost 3 years ago and tap and jazz, about a year ago. I had done classes previously in modern, hip hop, lyrical and ballet– but not much. Not like this.

I have always juggled taking the classes with my finances. Sometimes, I missed a week– or took one class and not two. Sometimes I had to miss a few weeks. I always somehow managed to make it work overall though, and was as consistent as I could be with my financial situation considered. I knew from the start I would be limited of course, but I made a lot of gains, dance-wise and it has brought me immense happiness.

But it’s just not seeming to come as easy, financially the past few months.

There are some things health wise I need to take care of too. I don’t think I can do it anymore.

Again– it can all change. When you work full-time and freelance as well, things ebb and flow. Anything is possible but right now, the numbers aren’t adding up however … I know me and I will try my best to find a way. The New Year is coming and I am already doing my best to make contacts and headway with different leads. With my hunting mindset, I may not have to give up things I need to do or want to do, but I am leary that I will have to. I pray I do not.

This is exactly what being a single parent is– the hunter-gatherer.

I hunt, I gather … and hunt some more. The evolutionary unit … in one body.

I will keep hunting and gather any resources I have to keep going. It’s what you do as a single parent. It gets exhausting, but there is no other way. And this is why I say– two heads are better than one. I am only one person and can only do so much.

At the end of the day though, I remind myself for all I do have. That this too shall pass, and that I invested my money in a matter that I absolutely had to– had no choice– and so I can rest easy that I am doing all I can.

To all the single parents watching their pennies, I pray you find some financial ease in 2020,




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