If I am going to date, it’s going to be someone good. A friendly girl by nature, there are many men for me to talk to– but, talking and taking the next step to go out together is a different thing altogether. I can be friends with just about anyone, but deciding to meet in person or go out somewhere if we’ve already met is a big deal considering I am busy and I don’t plan on settling. So, while these online apps and the real world can keep a girl busy, it doesn’t mean much until the talking turns into coffee or more.
The good news to all my single lady and guy friends searching for guys: there are plenty of fish in this crazy turbulent sea even if you can’t stand swiping or don’t have the guts to say hi to the hot guy at the gym. Of course, there aren’t a plethora of good fish (dudes) around– for men or women— but they exist. There are some really good guys out there and if you’re like me and looking for someone with class and character, you’ll want to pay attention to these 4 different types of men online or in the real world.
1– He’s Healthy– Not Obsessed With His Body
Ok, so maybe my gay friends would want 100% hotness over anything and I will admit, I like an attractive guy myself, but … the guy who is too obsessed with his looks whether in real life or online with fifty gym pics, is not good.
Keep your eyes on the guy who has healthy habits– body and mind– and exudes confidence with his words and mannerisms, not from his ab pics.
There’s nothing wrong with picking an attractive and fit guy– but you don’t want a narcissist.
A man who is healthy and fit but does so in order to have a good life and not obsess over his pecs is a good catch.
2. He Responds With Thought– Not Just Emojis or Platitudes
My 8 year old loves to use emojis and they are super cute but …
You want a man who talks to you as if he thought about what he said first, and wants to hear what you have to say as well. Keep in mind not many people are great at conversing via these online apps, but if he doesn’t ask much and sends emojis instead, send him to preschool and look for a man who can talk. Or at the very least, save your judgments until you meet him in person– he may be quite the conversationalist!
A man who can hold a conversation is a fine treasure.
3. He Is Positive– Not Bitter or Claiming to “Avoid Drama”
Men who say they don’t want drama probably live lives right out of a reality show TV plot. Guys who are positive when you meet them or positive when you match with them online are most likely going to be positive in general. Guys who claim to be “done with drama” or seem angry or emotional over their heartbreak and loss most likely are too wrapped up in their own soap opera.
He doesn’t have to dot his I’s with hearts or be smiling every two seconds. In fact, someone who is down-to earth will be real about all KINDS of feelings! But you want to avoid “Daniel Downers!”
A man who has a good attitude about his world and dating partners is a good man indeed.
4, A Man Who Can Laugh at Himself– Not at Others
The guy who is goofy in every photo or chance he has to talk to me is a bit overkill (for my taste) but … a guy who has wit and the ability to laugh at himself is my kind of guy.
Look for the guy who can poke fun of himself, rather than being hurtful or cruel to others. The guy who cracks jokes at others’ expense? Not cute.
A man with a healthy sense of humor and view of himself is sexy.
The bottom line is these good men live and breathe the same air as the rest of us single ladies and gentlemen.
You just have to know what you’re looking for. Personally, I’d rather watch the Golden Girls with ten cats in my golden years alone than be with the wrong person, but I’m going to certainly try and see what’s out there with the hopes that I can have a Bingo partner in my eighties.
You need to know who you want and what you want.
Me? I want someone kind, intelligent, self-aware, able to laugh at himself, positive, passionate and has his head on his shoulders. Someone who treats women with respect– never violence or hatred. And someone who is fun and willing to be open to adventure. Preferably giving me chocolate.
So, as I imagine a life full of cat hair balls, little toy dogs and the elderly home, I’ll be accepting applications for dates in the New Year.
Hope you all have fun– and feel free to share your dating journey with me.
X’s and O’s,