Is She Worthless to You or Worthwhile?



Photo by Natalie Breeze on Unsplash

Okay gentlemen and ladies– or anyone dating or caring for a woman– let’s be real:

Do you make her feel worthy or worthless?

Do you even know?

I had a friend whose partner was so abusive and controlling, she couldn’t see it. My mom and I tried to point it out, but it was impossible. She didn’t get it. Even with both of us pointing out the obvious, it went over her head.

Sure, he bought her gifts. Sure, he was “there” for her. But he was also, controlling and insulting.

Same with another friend. Her ex was stalking her when angry. He was “great” the rest of the time she said.

And hey, I had an ex who was nice and calm when he was nice, and then when he wasn’t, he would insult me and tell me I was only good because I was hot. That no one would want me for anything but my body.

So, were these men treating my friends or myself as worthy or worthless?

To me, worthless! It didn’t matter if they were nice sometimes. The fact was, they weren’t nice and kind all the time.

Here are signs you’re making her feel worthless– letting her flower wilt VS worthwhile– helping her bloom:

Worthwhile: You’re There For Her. Period.

When things are hard, you’re there for her.

You don’t leave her side. You honor her and what she needs and when she wants you there, you show up.

Period. No questions asked.

Worthless: You’re Not Around

Enough said.

Worthwhile: You Make Her Feel Special

You want her to feel like the prettiest flower in the patch.

An ex of mine never said anything nice about me. I could count on one hand how often he said something positive about me in the time we were together.

Worthless: You Don’t Pay Much Attention To Her

You aren’t around much and you don’t notice anything about her.

Worthwhile: You Tell Her She’s Amazing

You speak her up!

Worthless: You Criticize & Find Flaws With Her– Especially When She Is Weak

You tear her down with words.

An ex of my friend criticized every little thing about her– from clothes, to her job.

Worthwhile: You Are Strong For Her When She Can’t Be Strong For Herself

You lift her up when she is weak and struggling.

Worthless: You Criticize & Find Flaws With Her– Especially When She Is Weak

An ex of my friend made her feel bad every chance he could get whenever she was weak.

Worthwhile: You Commit To Her

You do your best to the best person you can be. For yourself, for her.

You then commit to loving her and trying to make things work.

Worthless: You Don’t Want to Prioritize Her

She’s not worth the effort or life adjustments necessary.

Worthwhile: You Believe You Are Better With Her

You know that while relationships take effort, life is better with her. You let it be known that even when she is cranky, (as long as she’s not some awful b*tch) you know you’d rather be with her than without her.

Worthless: You Believe You Are Better WITHOUT Her

You feel that you’d be fine without her around. You show her this and tell her this. You make it clear you don’t need her.

Sunlight, Fresh Air & Water,


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