For a good chunk of the year, I decided to skip online dating and take a break from all of it.
As the tail end of the year arrived, I figured I might give dating a try again. Why not? So, in that whole process, I signed up for a few different apps.
My god. How is it that I have selective amnesia, forgetting how hideously awful and also, slightly humorous and scary this whole beast is?
Here are some of the most consistent and crappy findings I’ve noticed online. If you are doing these things or behaving this way, please stop. No one thinks you’re cute. Really.
Using Random Photos Without Your Human Face in ANY of Them
Literally, landscapes are beautiful but unless you’re a mountain, I believe your profile photo should be one of a human. Preferably of you– not someone else.
Using Cartoon Characters or Cartoon Filters
You are not a cat or a bunny. You are a man– okay, in my search I’m looking at males– and so, I expect a photo of a man. Not a man with doggy ears. I’m not your ten year-old niece.
A sense of humor is great, but this is just too much.
Leaving Out SUPER Important Details in Your Profile
You’re a dad? Write it.
You are traveling or just in town for the night? Need. To. Know. ASAP.
Not Reading Profiles
One guy, another parent, was disappointed I WAS A PARENT.
Had he just read my profile, he would have known this right away.
Pushing For a Phone Number
Ok,ok, ok …
Before any dudes hop on me about this, asking for a phone number after a decent conversation or two has been established, is great. Texting back and forth on an app is annoying, I agree.
But don’t push for a number before you have even exchanged 5 sentences with each other. Especially since people often don’t list important profile stuff which could be dealbreakers to begin with.
Complaining About Your Ex or Other Dates
Listen Negative Ned/Nancy/Them– no one wants to hear your sob story. Keep your story brief to start or at the least, don’t be harsh. First impressions matter.
Using a Fake Profile
Honey, if you look like a troll but you’re using stock photos to pull the people in?
That’s not realistic.
Eventually, your “real self” will be revealed.
Like I said– it’s a lot of fun. Wink.
Laughing on the Inside,