Do you ever feel as if the people around you– coworkers, lovers, family, friends, etc. don’t appreciate all you do? Especially the people who do less than you do while you’re out there being an awesome parent, or coworker or partner or friend?
You may not even realize that the frustration, sadness or just general annoyance you feel stems from feeling unappreciated– and nothing else.
When we put ourselves out there and don’t get either the support, feedback or love in return for all we do, it can take a toll on a person.
Consider the single parent who bears the load of two parents. Consider the coworker who is lifting the heavy load. Consider the friend who always calls the other. Consider the partner who always initiates contact– emotionally and physically.
If you are feeling sad, irritated, frustrated, mad or despondent, you may just feel unappreciated.
Here are 4 signs that the people in your life aren’t appreciating all you do– and it’s affecting your emotions:
You Always Initiate Everything
Whether it’s a date night request or a project the boss wants done pronto, you start and initiate everything, while the person who doesn’t appreciate you never does.
You’re starting to feel mad and taken for granted. You may even start to retreat.
You Never Get That Same Effort in Return
You make romantic gestures, do special things or offer tokens or gifts for your loved one or partner.
You always make your spouse lunches. You always clean up after the kids and tell your partner to take the night off. You help your coworker catch up with work.
Yet the person who doesn’t appreciate you does nothing in return for all your constant efforts.
This isn’t to say that we should do things for people just to get something in return, but let’s face it: after a lot of effort, it’s only natural to expect a person to return some energy and care! You should do things and give to someone because you want to, but we all want love, appreciation and friendship in return.
Without any care in return, it feels like you are running ragged and never getting your time to recoup.
You Offer Praise & Thanks But The Other Person Doesn’t
You’re so thankful for the effort your co-parent puts out. You praise your coworker’s ideas. You praise your lover and help him feel wanted.
Yet, you don’t feel you get the same thanks or praise. Your efforts go largely unnoticed.
You probably feel really sad and hurt.
You Are Always Expected to Be There– But The Other Person Isn’t
The person assumes you’ll be a great coworker and pick up the slack, or an attentive lover and always around … or a great friend and available to hang out.
Yet the other person isn’t held to the same standards.
It feels unfair– as if you really aren’t appreciated.
If this is you, don’t let it eat you alive … speak up!
Share how you feel using “I statements” like, “When I make plans, I feel as if it is always me initiating the plans. It makes me feel bad. I would like if you made the effort first.”
Ask how this person is feeling. Maybe this person is stressed or unaware of how his or her behavior is making you feel.