When Someone Wastes Your Time

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https://unsplash.com/@jontyson

There is nothing more frustrating when someone wastes your time while you put all your effort and energy into them. My last relationship the person was not as invested as I was. I put in 150% of my heart and time and the other person put in about 30%. I felt as if I did all the heavy lifting while this person had a walk-on role in our relationship. I guess the relationship didn’t matter to this person at all because as we all know, effort = how much someone cares.

The frustration I felt doing everything while the other person sat back and did the minimum, bothers me to no end.

How hurtful can someone be to watch someone else bust his or her butt to get the relationship going while he or she does barely anything?

After going through that, I realize I will never be dumb again.  I gave too much of myself to someone who didn’t appreciate me and took me for granted.

Don’t Do All the Work!!
Laura

 

 

 

A Prayer For The Hopeless

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As I lay down to sleep, I don’t.

Sleep that is.

Some days, like this one, the pain is unbearable. I pray the Lord— the universe— the spirit— my soul to take and heal.

Although I believe it is not possible.

I’m grieving a great many things. The loss of someone who once was so much to me but is unhealthy and unable to be the same person to me or the people who love her. The loss of another person who didn’t live up to the contract he signed to our child. The loss of someone who was supposed to be working for my best interest. The loss of someone else who did not support me or care about me or want to be there. Abandonment a better word.

If I die before I wake Lord, take away the COVID. Life is so difficult for everyone. Seeing my child be isolated and seeing others so isolated. Being isolated myself. Being unable to see my elderly parents regularly. The constant arguing between people. Who is right and who is wrong. What is right? What is wrong?

Nothing feels safe or secure. It feels like I can rely on no one. No one and nothing is reliable besides myself. Forget my mortality it is also my sanity I question lasting.

As I lay myself down to sleep, I have a child growing at remarkable speeds. I wasn’t supposed to raise her alone. I wasn’t supposed to many things.

How much more I wonder, can I endure? Can we all endure?

Take my soul and heal it. I am not sure how much is left in me and all of us.

Amen,

L

 

 

3 Ways Your Depression Could Turn Dangerous

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https://unsplash.com/@seanbenesh

Depression during the pandemic is common, but a simple depression could turn dangerous during the pandemic for a few reasons:

Someone Hurts You or Treats You Badly

If a boyfriend or girlfriend or friend or an ex treats you badly during this pandemic when you’re already down, it could be a real serious issue. No one needs to feel like crap, be dumped or treated badly/ taken advantage of when they’re dealing with a pandemic and depression! Only a heartless jerk would do that.

 

Losing Family Support or Having Little Access to Support

If you’re already sad and depressed, having little support or losing the support you do have can be detrimental during a pandemic. It could make the depression go deeper and be more intense.

 

Being Alone and Feeling Isolated

If you’re alone too much or isolated often, it can exacerbate an already festering and intense depression. Being alone could be a real disaster if you’re struggling.

Be Careful,

Laura

 

How She’s Using You

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https://unsplash.com/@kellysikkema

Selfish and thoughtless, the woman who uses is just as bad as the bad boy who does it,too. Whether she’s seeing a woman or man, this ruthless creature cares about just herself.

She Uses You to Get The Job Done

She wants favors done, but can’t be bothered to spend real time with you or go on dates. You’ve never met her friends or family. You’re just around her when she needs something.

 

She Uses You to Boost Her Ego

Like the selfish man, she needs an ego boost so she hangs out with you when bored or needs to feel wanted. She doesn’t get close to you and is totally inconsistent. She is just bored and needs to feel pretty!

She Uses You For Insider Advice, Your Friends or Money

Does she commit to you, or is she committed to getting something from you, like money or advice? Is she interested in anything about you really? Or more interested in an end goal?

Selfish and heartless, the men and women who are users just really are careless creatures with no heart.

Don’t Fall For Her Garbage,

Laura

 

This Man or Woman Doesn’t Care, So Don’t Waste Your Time

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https://unsplash.com/@louishansel

Avoid these types of men or women or whatever gender, to date because otherwise, you will waste time on someone who never cared about you in the first place. From my own experiences to my friends’ experiences, be wise:

Avoid Dating Someone Who Wants to Change Your Views or Religion

Someone who is never happy with your views or ways of worship or spirituality is going to be tough down the line. It’s ok if the person wants you to open up a bit to his or her way of thinking, but not if the person is trying to change you. This will end up a total nightmare for you where you’ll never feel accepted and loved. You will always feel out of the loop and not validated.

Avoid Dating Someone Who Won’t Commit and Has a Load of Excuses Why

Don’t date the man or woman who won’t commit and yet, likes you enough to sleep with you sometimes or see you sometimes. Why? Because he or she will be around. SOMETIMES. On his or her terms and when that person feels up to it. They’ll say they care about you but then their words are never backed up. They will always disappoint you because they don’t care about you or want you enough to change. Guess who will be left crying? You and not them.  This person doesn’t care about you at all. If he can’t introduce you to friends or she won’t move the relationship forward, then that person is just messing with your heart and wasting time. You’re not good enough for them in their eyes, so move it along before you regret it.

Avoid Dating the Money Hungry or Demanding Who Doesn’t Appreciate Anything

Time and again I’ve seen friends suffer over the person who always wants more and is never happy. They feel like they don’t do enough yet it’s really the greedy person who is the problem. If someone is constantly demanding you do more and never happy with you, or constantly wants you to spend money— that person is impossible. Don’t bother!

Trust Me,

L

Calling Someone Out on Their Cold Behavior Takes Guts

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https://unsplash.com/@jasonrosewell

I was excited to finally enjoy some alone time with a partner when the person announced he didn’t have any interest in seeing me.

Cold and heartless, I was so hurt.
There was nothing I had done wrong but this person had no desire to see me on the one chance I had free.

It was a glaring sign that this person not only didn’t care about me, but also thought very little of me and didn’t respect me.

I hit a wall. I had to call out the bad behavior because I had had enough.

The moral of the story? It’s hard to tell others how we feel but it’s necessary and when people are unkind and disrespectful , it’s necessary to say you’ve had enough.

Be Strong,

Laura

Why She’s Done

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You kept saying no. You weren’t available. You were busy. You had to work. You weren’t ready. You didn’t want to do it. You couldn’t do it. You didn’t want her. You didn’t want it. It’s not what you want.

All this time that’s all you said while she

Tried hard. Kept being available. Kept saying yes. Wasn’t too busy for you. Wanted to do it. Could do it. Wanted you.

You didn’t care. You didn’t appreciate her at all. You didn’t want her.

Finally, she got tired of your no’s. Tired of your unavailability. Tired of being alone while you did whatever you felt like as long as it wasn’t being available and loving her.

She took the weight of your no’s and the weight of your unavailability and held it as long as she could but eventually, she grew tired of it. Tired of you.

And eventually, she was done and gone.
And the only person to blame is yourself for your no’s, your lack of availability. Your position.

Check Mate,

Laura

 

 

 

To Medicate or Not to Medicate? A Very Good Question

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Photo by Halacious on Unsplash

Recently came upon a situation where I have to decide if it is best to take medicine for a concern I have OR, try to skip it and utilize other methods– more natural, alternative ones.

I am always– or usually always– of the belief that a natural method works better for me, seeing that I am a petite person who doesn’t respond well to medications that most adults do. Of course, if it’s serious I don’t skip on science in any way and I am of the belief that medications can do miracles too, but overall, I have found that for me it often comes with so many side effects that it’s not worth it.

In a time when our health is so pivotal and also so precarious with this virus, what we take, what we eat and how we care for ourselves is so crucial that it comes with a deeper meaning.

Our health is everything and always has been, but it is more than ever during this pandemic. Every choice we make seems to impact our health, physical or mental or both.

Stay Strong,

Laura

When Your Partner Misses Free Time, Birthdays, Milestones & More

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Photo by Sofiya Levchenko on Unsplash

It’s your birthday and your partner is working late. Again.

You have a free weekend after being so busy with the kids and work and your partner has something to do. Again.

You need a ride to the doctor’s for a procedure. Your partner is busy, unavailable or what have you. Again.

You want to see a show (back when concerts were allowed) or attend a party (same!), but your partner is busy, doesn’t feel like going or has something better to do. Again.

It gets lonely when the one person you love so much never shows up for you to celebrate with you or spend significant time together.

It eats away at your feelings and trust for your partner. You start to feel more alone by the minute and depressed.

It’s happened to me where I’ve felt so isolated and alone despite  having someone around who “supposedly” cared about me.

It felt like a party for one constantly. Never there for me. Me doing everything alone constantly or with friends without him. Me feeling unloved constantly.  Me feeling like maybe it was me. Maybe I wasn’t worth spending time with or maybe I wasn’t any good. Maybe I was not worth loving. Maybe I had nothing to offer.

I started to get used to being alone and lived my life without him to the fullest, but it always hurt and always felt like an insult to my character.  I got used to the constant disappointment.

People wondered why I was always alone. I couldn’t explain it but it hurt like the worst hell.

If someone leaves you to attend the party of your life alone, leave him or her now.

You deserve to eat cake for two. You shouldn’t be spending parties, weekends and milestones alone. You shouldn’t be in a relationship or marriage feeling lonely all the time. You should have a partner who looks forward to being with you and makes time for you.

Lovingly,

Laura

If You Avoid Commit & Invest in Someone— You Don’t Care Enough

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It doesn’t matter how much you say you care about someone if you can’t back it up.  If spending time with someone isn’t a priority and being close to someone isn’t a priority, well then, neither is that person.

We make time for what is important to us. We make investments in what matters to us. We do everything in our power for the people we love. If we are with someone and don’t want to spend time with them or commit, we don’t care about them enough. We don’t value them enough to make time or changes for them in order to have that person in our lives.

Sure, you hear people say how “Oh they’re not ready,” or “They don’t want it right now,” but the truth is, if the person really loved someone and actually cared about the person beyond surface attraction  and sex, they’d commit.
It’s that easy.

When we value something or someone, we invest in it.
Period.

Truth,

Laura