Anyone can have a fun physical connection with someone else. Anyone can buy a gift. Send a gift card. Anyone can have a quick cuddle fest or Netflix and “chill.”
But it’s not so easy to love. To be there for someone. To make them feel special. To really get to know them. To include the person in their daily life.
If you’re “seeing” someone and wondering where the relationship lies, just ask yourself these questions and you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to see how much you really matter to someone:
- Is the person trying to get physical with you or getting physical with you, but hasn’t asked you on a date or included you in his/her hangouts with friends? If you answered yes, this person is taking the easy way out– and you don’t matter to him/her.
- Is the person available for you physically, but not emotionally? If this is a yes, this person isn’t invested in you beyond casual interactions.
3. Is this person actively trying to get to know you, or is the person coming over to see you periodically when he/she feels like it? If this is a yes, the person is taking the easy way out with you as a casual fling/casual sex.
These questions make it pretty obvious. Someone that sees you as valuable puts in the time.
But what if the person buys me gifts or is nice to me? Doesn’t that mean he/she finds me valuable and worth investing in?
To put it simply, no.
People should be nice to everyone, but it doesn’t equal love or commitment or real emotions and feelings. Gifts are also nice, but anyone can buy you anything. It doesn’t equal love.