Celebrating a birthday is an honor, especially in a time where our health— mental and physical — is so tenuous and frail. And we are so isolated from others in many ways, that it’s very hard to feel celebratory at al.
So, when our loved ones have a special day during a time when he or she may feel so disconnected from the world, it’s crucial that we are there to celebrate their special day more than ever.
To me, missing a loved one’s birthday is a horrible thing no matter whether there is a major virus floating around or not. The gift of life is so precious that every year we get to call another to me, is another opportunity to be bigger and better than who we were the year before. A chance to learn from our mistakes and start fresh. To me, when a loved one’s birthday comes up, it’s a time to show that person how special he or she is and honor the connection that person has with me, whether it’s a family member , friend or a romantic connection.
Choosing to not be there for someone on his or her big day is an insult. It’s like saying you wish the person ill. Being there to wish a “Happy Birthday” to the person you care about is a wish for that person to do well and be happy in the next year. Only an unkind partner, friend or family member who doesn’t really care about you would refuse to honor you turning around the sun another year. You don’t have to be married or committed. You don’t have to be best buddies. You don’t have to be the closest family member. But if someone asks you to join them in starting their next year off right, it’s an honor for you to join him or her. And I definitely find it extremely crappy, hurtful, cold and plain out wrong if a romantic partner or family member misses a birthday. That to me in unacceptable. Over the years, I’ve had to adjust to the fact that my mom–someone I really love— can’t remember my birthday due to her dementia, and that’s hard enough. So if someone important in my life who has no memory issues can’t be there for me to wish me well on the turning of another year, it hurts.
And it’s not something the person can ever make up! You won’t turn 30,32,40,50 or whatever age you happen to be turning ever again. So, if a person selfishly isn’t there for a birthday, that person missed the whole moment.
Moral of the story? Cherish and celebrate the ones you love. Don’t be foolish and miss out. Don’t make a mistake you can’t take back. Take the time out for the person. Rejoice in all they mean to you.
If it’s your birthday, embrace the new year and make some changes.