Have you ever had a friendship or romantic relationship– even a work relationship or family relationship, where nothing could ever POSSIBLY please the person? Where you tried your damndest to steer the boat and keep things going… while the other person sat back, did nothing?
There is no greater hardship than having someone you care about or admire or work with who never appreciates you or anything you do. For the longest time. I have been quiet. I haven’t written– well, actually, I’ve been working on a novel– but I haven’t been blogging. I was considering simply shutting down my blog and starting a new one. Which I’ve still been thinking about… but that’s when this topic hit close to home with me and is prompting me to return to writing.
I think I have a bad habit of trying too hard to please people. I don’t enjoy conflict and I also, very much enjoy having friendships and romantic relationships. I am a people person. That said, I will do my best to really understand and assess the other person whether it’s work, friend or love, with the goal of making things work.
But I found myself constantly trying to please one person and always failing. The person was confusing and just difficult to predict. There I was steering the boat and trying to understand the course– and the person made it so I never knew where I really stood– or whether I was sailing the right course.
I was patient and things were quiet for a while. I thought I had figured the person and path out. The water was calm… and then it wasn’t. The person was not available like I needed. I missed all the good things about the person because they had become unreachable, withholding the good things I liked so much.
That’s when I had enough. Nothing I did was good enough– the person was never happy enough with me. I stopped trying. It was too much effort to steer the boat and try to keep things going on my own, while this person made it hard.
Moral of the shipwrecked story? Don’t kill yourself trying to make something work or someone happy. There will always be people who are difficult to please. If you’re not enough or right for them and nothing you do is good enough, than that person is the problem.