How to Tell If Your Body Image Is Negatively Affecting Your Sex Life

The two of you are there, in the middle of the most passionate and intimate act — sex — when your hideous and incorrect views of your body cause discomfort, displeasure, or sadness in the middle of the deed! Except here comes the worst part: you don’t even know that this is happening but your partner, who is the victim as well in your bad body image game, is aware. Painfully so. You may not even realize it, but your toxic feelings about your body are ruining the most precious and intimate aspect of your relationship. Here are four signs that your body image is negatively affecting your sex life.

1. You Experiment Less

Because you think your thighs, butt, or what have you are too big, too small, or not right, you experiment less in the bedroom. You’re uncomfortable in your skin and so you’re not ready to jump into a sexual relationship feeling confident and free. Instead, you’re feeling burdened and restrained.

Read More: How to Tell If Your Body Image Is Negatively Affecting Your Sex Life

It’s Damaging,

Laura

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6 Things Women in Their 30s Want Lovely 20-Somethings to Know

As I round out the end of my 30s and all of its unique glories, challenges, and triumphs, it dawns on me that so every often I feel like I am 25 still. It’s as if I forget my own age. But there is one thing that makes me uniquely different from 25, and it’s not just my biological age, but all the wisdom and the self-esteem that started from life lessons in my 20s and headed into all the glory and heartache of my 30s. I am a very social person, and so I find myself often out people watching, and I see all you lovely, beautiful, sweet, and unsure 20-somethings and I want to grab a chair and pull you over so I can share to you what I know in hopes that it will help you as you venture into adult female life!

Read More: 6 Things Women in Their 30s Want Lovely 20-Somethings to Know

With Love,

Laura

Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

“I am a real woman damn it! And I don’t look like an hourglass!”

In fact, if I didn’t have a chest, I would probably wear clothes strictly from the kids’ department, but does this mean I am a fake woman? Like some human female version of Pinocchio?

The female body has evolved over the years. The Italian Renaissance called for the Rubenesque look, or a full-figured body. The androgynous look of the ’20s. Heroin chic of the ’90s. The big booty of the millennium. What’s considered “ideal” for the female figure changes through the years, but what doesn’t change is the fact that not every woman will always fit in the ideal type! There is no one female body shape that is timeless according to societal standards. So with that said, NONE of us are real women or NONE of us have been considered a “real woman” at some point in our lives. Quite frankly, I am tired of it.

Read More: Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

 

Proud of Me,

Laura

Why You Don’t Have to “Bounce Back” After a Baby

Nobody wants to be out of shape or unhappy with his or her body, but the fact is that the pressure is on to dump that baby fat and then some shortly after the baby is out of you. Yes, that’s right, shortly thereafter. Not one year or two years, but a few months. It used to be that women had babies and no one really commented on what happened afterward, but with the rise of social media and celebs with their personal trainers and plastic surgery, the commenting begins both in our own minds and on the lips’ of others fairly soon after that bundle of joy is out of the womb and into our lives.

Read More: Why You Don’t Have to “Bounce Back” After a Baby

Be Easy On Yourselves Ladies!

Laura

What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

I was picking my daughter up from aftercare, but once again, she didn’t want to leave. She was sitting at a little preschool-size table with one of her BFFs, and they were drawing pictures together. She had on leggings, a t-shirt, and a puffy zip-up vest. As I coaxed my girl to hurry up, her little friend pointed at my girl and said while laughing, “She’s so fat!”

Instantly, my blood tingled. I felt my face get a little hot.

“That’s not nice. We don’t say that to people. She’s not fat,” I said sternly with a voice that indicated I meant business.

I didn’t yell or say anything else, but the little friend looked at me with a face that read somewhere between, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that,” and “Wait, what did I do wrong?”

Finally, she said, still laughing, “Her vest makes her look fat.”

My daughter barely noticed the whole conversation and simply got up to go home as if nothing had happened, but something had happened.

To me.

Read More: What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

Raising My Girl As Best I Can,

Laura

5 Reasons to Put On That Bathing Suit or Heck — a Bikini

I had a baby. Sure, I’m in good shape, but I have my flaws just as much as the next person. Putting on a bikini pre-Mom was tough for me, but I did it, so perhaps I wasn’t as nervous as other women. After I had my daughter, I felt more self-conscious. People told me I was ridiculous and that I looked fine, but I didn’t believe it. I had my daughter at the end of March, so the first Summer, even though I was back to my prebaby weight, I didn’t want anyone to see me in a suit of any kind — I was strategic to say the least. The following Summer I spent sick and pregnant, and the pregnancy did not work out in the end, so a bathing suit wasn’t on the table anyway. But then came last Summer.

Read More: 5 Reasons to Put On That Bathing Suit or Heck — a Bikini

Screw it, I’m taking off my shirt this summer again,

Laura

7 Brutal Truths About Loving Someone With An Eating Disorder

We like you a lot. But we are slaves to our bodies.
It’s been about 13 years since I recovered from my eating disorder. For about two years I went through everything, from periods of not eating, to binging and on rare occasion, purging — and I thank my lucky stars I got out of that hell every single day.

An eating disorder is not an easy plight: you don’t need to drink alcohol to live, but you damn well need to eat if you want to stay alive. Food is everywhere and unavoidable. When you struggle with an eating disorder it can feel like you’re a prisoner to your body … so essentially, you’re dating or married to a “trapped” woman in chains.

If you happen to love a woman with an eating disorder I say to you now: Be patient, good luck, and here’s what you need to know:

Read More: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving Someone With An Eating Disorder

Finally Hungry,

Laura

Breastfeeding My Baby Literally Saved My Boobs — And My Life

Boobs. Breasts. Fun Bags. Titties. Tits. Boobies. Mommy’s Milk Makers.

If it pertains to breasts, I’ve heard it all.

When I started out in the world, I was the flattest girl of them all. Growing up in a house of six people with five of them being much older, well-endowed females, getting boobs was on my “to-do” list. I couldn’t wait! I thought it would be so cool. I remember the day my childhood best friend got her first training bra. I was so jealous I stood in the driveway until my mother got home so I could convince her to “bandage up my nipples” with a 28AAA training bra that was training, well, zilch. Even if I was nowhere near womanly, I felt like one with my white lace junior bra adorned with tiny flowers right in the center of the two cups. Damn right, you know I was pulling out all the exercises:

“I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

Okay, so that never happened besides once or twice. I wasn’t stupid. I knew squawking like a chicken wasn’t going to grow me any ta-tas. It was either in the cards for me … or not. Time would tell.

It was all fun and games — until I actually got tits.

Read More: Breastfeeding My Baby Literally Saved My Boobs — And My Life

Tits Okay Now,

Laura

“I must, I must, I must increase my bust.

Okay, so that never happened besides once or twice. I wasn’t stupid. I knew squawking like a chicken wasn’t going to grow me any ta-tas. It was either in the cards for me … or not. Time would tell.

It was all fun and games — until I actually got tits.

5 Things Only People Who Had An Eating Disorder Will Understand

I always tell people that you don’t need alcohol or drugs to live, but you will always need food to survive, which is why when you’re in the suffocating grips of an eating disorder you feel as if you may never escape.

Fourteen years later, I am proud to say that I eat healthy, live healthy, and no longer feel like a puppet in the arms of an eating disorder master. But the fact is anyone can live with an eating disorder or disordered eating as I like to call it—even naturally thin people like myself. I grew up thin, am built thin and petite, and went for years eating whatever I wanted. It wasn’t unusual for me to kill two burgers and extra-large fries in high school.

Read More:5 Things Only People Who Had An Eating Disorder Will Understand 

Happy & Hungry,

Laura

The Horrible Thoughts I Had About My Body After 24 Hours of Labor and a C-Section

There I was after 24 hours of labor, five hours of pushing, and a C-section looking like a whale.

No really–a whale.

Like “find me an ocean and toss me in” certifiable whale. I would have fit in just perfectly with the sea creatures, which was amazing considering I had hyperemesis gravidarum in pregnancy and didn’t touch maternity clothes until I was about eight months pregnant. I wore my wedding ring throughout the pregnancy, and I was never swollen once. People actually said I looked cute, and perhaps they weren’t even lying. But after being pumped with fluids after my epidural and during my C-section, I now resembled Moby Dick and was so utterly not cute. One of my original legs turned into about five legs. My hands were as swollen as a beast’s. I’m surprised I didn’t warble or speak whale but instead could utter strings of the English language.

Read more: The Horrible Thoughts I Had About My Body After 24 Hours of Labor and a C-Section

Got My Body Back Now, Thanks,

Laura