Category: dating advice

6 Ways to Tell If Your Partner Thinks You’re Replaceable

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Have you ever felt like your partner– male or female, gay or straight or otherwise– would be ok replacing you at any minute?

Have you ever felt like you weren’t significant to this person or perhaps, like he or she always has eyes open for other candidates?

It’s not a great feeling.

I’ve heard many friends and loved ones tell me how they feel as if their partner wasn’t really committed all the way. In some cases, it was paranoia. In other cases, their partner wasn’t really committed.

Here are 6 ways to tell if your partner thinks you’re replaceable … or not.

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Life Tip: Women Want to Hear How You Feel

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Men ask me for advice rather frequently about the ladies. And one of the biggest things I always say is to tell her how you feel.
Every woman and person is different, but there are quite a few of us who really love to get that verbal affirmation from our partner. If you’ve ever looked into the 5 love languages, then you know what I mean. If you haven’t– verbal affirmation is a love style; people who have this preference enjoy hearing their partners express their feelings, getting praise or  hearing expressions of love from their mates.

For me, this is one of my strong love styles.

So, if you are a man who can’t or won’t express how he feels and you meet a woman who needs this, you are in deep, deep poop.

Here is why:

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Are You Happy or Just Settling?

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Have you done a recent check on your relationship and how it’s going? Are you feeling like perhaps your relationship is missing something or like you’re missing something?

Does it feel like you’re truly loved in the way you need to be loved?

If you’re struggling and unsure if you are really demanding the best of others or, taking whatever you can get– use  these tips to get some clarity.

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How to Tell If You Are Really Valued or, Taken for Granted

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There is a clear difference between people who value you and people who take you for granted, yet sometimes when we are vulnerable, not confident or naive, we miss these clear signs.

A lot of the time, I see women and men being taken for granted when they are already in a vulnerable state and can’t see the writing on the wall until it’s too late.

To prevent anyone from getting hurt, I’ve made a little quick ‘Go-to Guide’ to help you see clearly.  Maybe I can prevent a few heartaches.

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What to Do When Someone Won’t Commit

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There is no greater pain than love and commitment not returned or worse, retracted.

It is very easy to blame yourself for this person’s state of mind and feeling. It is very easy to retreat into your pain.

But, here are a few things you should do when dealing with someone who can’t commit to save your sanity:

1. Remember It’s Not You– It’s Them

 The person has issues with commitment that probably have nothing to do with you. You have no idea what the person may have experienced prior to meeting you. That person could be a mess. Maybe they don’t know good love from bad love.

And even if it’s you like, say you aren’t a match for them or they don’t love you back … it doesn’t mean you aren’t a match for someone else.

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The Most Important Thing to Look For in a Partner as a Single Man or Woman

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As you’re swiping, scoping or chatting with potential partners, I bet the first two things that strike you are:

  • The person’s looks
  • The person’s attitude

After you’ve assessed those two basic things, you drill down into the nitty gritty– especially if you’re a single parent dating:

  • Do they have kids? If yes, do they see them often. If no, do they want kids?
  • Were they married? Do they want to get married again?
  • What do they do for work?
  • What’s the person’s lifestyle like?
  • What are the person’s goals for the next year or so?
  • Where do they live? Is it far from you? Do they live on their own or with other people?

All of these things give you an idea of whether you’ll want to date them– or not. And truly, they are all important factors but after it’s all said and done and you’ve found someone who fits the bill on all of the previously mentioned factors– consider this one single most important thing you should look for in a partner:

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You– Yes, YOU– Deserve Someone Who Is 100% Sold On You

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Ambivalent desire can truly drive you crazy. One minute the person wants you– and the next minute … not so much.

You could probably go nuts trying to understand why someone is so on the fence about you, but it wouldn’t be worth it.

Someone who really cares about you will be firm in his or her convictions or at the very least, trying to overcome whatever is causing his or her ambivalence.

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Why Does My Partner Go From Hot to Cold & Back Again?

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There is nothing more frustrating than having a partner rescind his or her warmth and love. Especially if in return, you get a cold front.

It’s like having a relationship with someone who exists in a room: the door opens and so does your partner and then, the door closes … and so does the access to your partner.

I’ve been down this road before where a love interest or partner would shut me out and let me in … I know how painful it can be to deal with. I know the questions that run in your mind and that maybe keep you up at night. I also know what it’s like to walk away from that person. At times, my ex-husband could be very cold.

Here are a few reasons that could explain your partner’s mood changes from cold to hot, and hot to cold.

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The Man/Woman Who Push-Pulls Your Relationship: What You Need to Know

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You have someone in your life, male or female, who comes close to you, and then drifts further away. This person approaches you on his or her terms, gets involved, and then runs for cover while you’re left feeling abandoned, doubtful of yourself and in pain.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the push-pull cycle. Where the partner comes in, withdraws, comes in and withdraws again, all to your detriment.

Why the hell is this happening? Why does this man/woman do this? I bet you’ve said all of those things, more than fifty times in your own head.

In my twenties, I experienced this for a bit with a guy. I ended up cutting it off, and we became friends right away. Thank god. He was a much better friend, then a sexual partner and boyfriend, and I was happy to offer friendship. Years later, he kicks himself and says how beautiful I am and wonderful. We are still friends, years later! We’ve been there for each other through a lot. It’s pretty awesome.

Trust me– I see how he aged and how I aged. He regrets it. He was afraid I was too free-spirited for a committed relationship. It turns out I wasn’t, but at least we could be friends … and for 15 years!

If you are reading this page and landed here like me, you probably are the one who is being pushed and pulled away. You probably feel really bad about yourself, wondering why this person would do this to you. You probably feel down about yourself, wondering what you did wrong. You probably feel downright crazy.

Wipe your tears, get your sexiest outfit or– whip out your razors boys, and stop blaming yourself.

Learn what’s what with this push-pull character

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Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

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Going out on the first date after divorce or separation is quite a doozy for most people. Think of it as like a cocktail of emotions—a dash of excitement, a sprinkle of dread and a dousing of nerves—and voila—you’ve got the first date after divorce.

Of course, the situation is different for everyone. If you’re going out with an ex or an old friend, your “spidey senses” won’t be as tingling since the person is familiar. If you’re venturing out with an online date or app match, chances are your nerves are in overdrive because, let’s face it: the online experience is a kooky one.

You might even feel a little guilty that first date out, even though you shouldn’t. Guilt over moving on or guilt over being so excited about a date and maybe not caring at all about your ex.

Read More: Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

You’ve Got This,

Laura