Category: dating advice

6 Things He/She Must Do If That Person Supposedly Cares About You

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

If someone cares about you, he or she puts the money where his or her mouth is.

There are just certain things they have to do, otherwise that person is not worth it, not reliable and a flake.

And these things by the way, are non-negotiable.

1. Asks You Out

Random hangouts or late night get togethers aren’t a sign that someone cares about you. It’s a sign that someone views you as convenient.

If someone cares about you, that person will ask you out and make a plan. No BS. No “Maybe we’ll do something.” That person just asks you out!

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Why Someone Stopped Caring About You

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Ever wonder why someone stopped caring about you? Did you ever stop to think that maybe you took that person for granted and he or she got tired of feeling unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved?

Maybe that person got tired of you hurting them, essentially?

Here are some reasons that someone who was good, kind and loving finally got tired of you letting him or her down, and stopped caring about you:

You Never Showed Your Feelings

Did you act like you cared? Did you go out of your way to make this person feel loved? Or did you just assume the person would sit around and wait for you to give love back forever?

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How You’ll Know If Someone Finds You Worthless– or Worth It

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Photo by Gary Chan on Unsplash

Ever hear, “I’m busy” so much from someone that you know it’s not that he or she is busy but that, this person doesn’t prioritize you?

Everyone is busy but when people prioritize something suddenly, they’re not so busy anymore.

Consider that workout goal you’ve had. Suddenly, you’ve fit in those HIIT workouts. Why? Because it’s important to you.

Consider the single parent who goes back to college. Why? Because it’s important to that person.

Here are 3 ways to tell if someone– a friend, partner, spouse, coworker or whomever– find you worthless … or worth it:

Never Asks to See You– Only Randomly Bumps Into You & Is ALWAYS Busy

The person who find you worthless never asks to see you. It’s the guy who never makes dates. It’s the friend who always is on Facebook gallivanting around with other friends, yet is too busy to ask you to hang out. It’s the person who never makes plans, is always busy and never includes you.

Versus:

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When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

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Photo by Mr Xerty on Unsplash

 

Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

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Socially Distant Dates: Are You Going on Them or Avoiding Altogether?

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It’s a very weird time to be single and I’ve spoken to quite a few people who all have a different take on single life during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some people, have said they have taken a break from online dating altogether. The idea of managing online dating while dealing with their various circumstances during the pandemic is too much. Others don’t feel comfortable at all meeting even 6 feet apart and others still, find the video calling and potentially long waits of meeting in person not worth delving into online at this time.

Others have taken the circumstances to work to their advantage: I know quite a few people are meeting in parks or speaking to each other from porches or stoops.  Other people still, are video calling or chatting via phone before meeting either in person at a park or, when restrictions are lifted. Some relationships are even taking off: from a socially distant park meet up, to deciding to socially distance together, including the new person in their social circle of who they will interact with during this public health crisis. I have to say that having a buddy and partner must make this  whole isolation easier and I commend people for making it happen during such a bleak time.

There is a lot to consider before making a call like this:

  • How safe do you feel meeting someone in a park? Meeting during the day is the best bet in an active park. Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are meeting and what time you’ll be back.
  • How much protection will you use? Meaning, will you wear a mask or just keep your distance or both?
  • How willing are you to even meet someone at this time? Not willing? Very willing?
  • How ready are you to incorporate a new person into your life?

I would love to hear people’s stories, opinions and experiences in the comments!

You could help someone make that call– many people are on the fence about what to do during this time.

Lots of Love,

Laura

What It’s Like When Someone Likes You, BUT Doesn’t Like You Enough

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Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

When I was in my twenties, I dated this guy who was very much my type, but also really flaky. Hot and cold, he wanted the relationship but didn’t want the relationship. I really liked him and wanted the relationship, but he would change his mind a lot. It was annoying.

I hit my breaking point one day as I was going to visit my family for the holidays from the city, where I was living. I was sad and tired. Sad of him being a flaky pain in my butt. Sad of feeling neglected and also, on his back and forth path. Enough was enough. I wanted off his space cadet tour.

I told him I was done, but happy to be friends.  I knew it wouldn’t be super easy to be friends, but I knew I would be happier and honestly, he had gotten on my nerves so much that I was at a point where I didn’t feel the same way about him.  I lost the attraction for the most part, too. Being his friend worked for me. A few months after I told him I was done, he tried holding my hand when we went to a movie. I looked at him like, “WTF,” and told him “Nope.”

He stuck to the friendship boundaries for the rest of the friendship, but, still occasionally veered off track by flirting inappropriately or saying how he wished he had given me a real chance. I avoided all that nonsense because to me, I had put him in the friend zone. I had had enough. He had had his chance. Laura was done. He had regrets– and me? I had none.

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Is He/She Stringing You Along? Are You His/ Her Option?

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Your relationship– or developing relationship– is a priority to you … but it doesn’t always feel like it is to her. You sometimes feel as if you’re an option or second best to this person’s other life outside of you … but maybe you’re just sensitive.

Been there, done that– and here are a few signs someone is stringing you along and thinking of you as an option:

Makes Plans Last Minute

Does he always ask you out last minute?

Does she suddenly have availability?

Stringing you along…

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3 Warning Signs That Your Guy/Gal Is Going to Hurt You 100%

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Some people should come with warning signs on them, but unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. Even if it were, people would still probably go out with “dangerous” individuals.

I’ve met a lot of people in my time and have sat back and watched a lot the last few years.  I’ve learned that while some people are really good at hiding stuff, there are a lot of warning signs that a man or woman is going to hurt you– and good– if you just pay attention and be smart. Keeping your guard up until you know someone is a smart move. It doesn’t mean you give no one a chance– but it means you give people a chance and reciprocate slowly in kind to their hopeful positive actions.

So basically, in the meantime, keep an open mind but also, open eyes as you get to know others. They may reveal themselves before they want to if you pay attention. It’ll save you time so you don’t waste yours. Your time is precious!

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Is Your Love a 100 or a 0? Loving Actions Add Up!

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Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

This is a trying time for everyone, regardless of your class, ethnicity, marital status, etc.

So, under these trying times, is your partner or love interest taking time to be loving with positive actions? Are you taking time to be loving? Is your love interest available and considerate of your feelings?

Here are a few things that add up in a positive way. If your partner or love interest isn’t doing these things, he or she isn’t “adding” up to much.

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4 Signs Someone Isn’t Learning Life Lessons During Covid-19 Outbreak

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If you’re not growing and learning during this public health emergency, what exactly are you doing?
Some people seem to be missing the point of this challenging time. If you’re not getting the point — what is really important and what needs to be prioritized— you’re not learning.

Here are 4 signs you’re completely missing the point and learning nothing during this pandemic:

Lacking Commitment, Patience and Love for People Who Matter

If you can’t put down your issues and be present and available for the ones you love, you’re missing a big life lesson. If you can’t be patient with others ( and yourself) you’re also missing the point.
If you don’t prioritize someone now during this awful event— you have zero priorities.

Grumbling About When You’re Healthy

If you’re healthy, be grateful. Many people aren’t. It’s ok to be  upset about missing milestones and friends. It’s ok to be upset if you’re out of work. 

But if you’re missing the gratitude in being healthy, you’re missing the point.

Not Checking In on Loved Ones / Being an Absent Partner

Now is the time to check in however you can on loved ones from afar or in your home. Now is the time to be present. You’ll never have this kind of time at home again. Don’t make excuses. If you’re emotionally unavailable or checked out— you’ve got problems and you’re taking everyone for granted.

Being Hard on Yourself or Expecting Too Much of Others/ Oneself

Now is not the time to pressure yourself to be perfect or do fifty million things during a stressful pandemic. The same goes for others. Pressuring people or being hard on loved ones is not fair at this time. Be loving. Be patient. Be giving.

Be Safe!

Laura