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Archive for the ‘dating advice’ Category

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My Summer of Zero Dates

In dating, dating advice, divorce, Uncategorized on August 9, 2017 at 2:33 am

I decided at some point that this was going to be my summer of zero dates.

Well, mostly.

I was online and on apps a lot. I had more first dates in a two month period than I had in my entire life, and I was always a pretty active dater. Nothing disastrous had happened. Nothing traumatic. I just felt as if the dating had become a chore.

For most people, casual conversation with a “mostly” stranger like the dates you have online are difficult. For me, I could talk to anyone…really. The janitor. The CEO. The three-year old child. The eighty-year old guy with Dementia on the subway. Conversing with dates was a breeze.

I met interesting people…and not so interesting people. Some were a little crazy while others were perfectly fine.

None gave me a tingle or spark. None made me say, let’s take this to the next level.

And hey, when you are divorced and dating, we all know how tough that can be.

Juggling your schedules around the kids…if you’ve both got them or you or your date is a parent.

Trusting someone after perhaps some intense trust fails from an ex.

Revealing parts of yourself and being vulnerable after watching a marriage fail.

Dating after divorce is an intricate dance, and one that I had committed to carrying out, from the beginning intro the final curtsy, but before summer had even dropped its hot humid temperatures on the East Coast, I was just done.

Not bitter. Not jaded.

Just bored.

Read More: My Summer of Zero Dates

A Little Break,

Laura

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10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

In dating advice, relationships on April 11, 2017 at 2:12 am

Sometimes, it’s his own character or situation that provokes panic from your actions; in other cases, you do stuff to bring on panic that never existed.

There are many situations that can scare guys away and you have to decide if you’re causing him anxiety or if he’s dealing with issues that cause him to panic over everything. Here are 9 ways you’re scaring him away.

1. You mention marriage any moment you can.

Sure, things are going well for you and your guy, but you are pushing him to the edge with your marriage talk. He just got comfortable with the idea of you two being a solid, committed pair, and now, no matter what you two are doing, marriage is part of every conversation.

Emails with wedding ring images. Pinterest boards on weddings you just “happen” to send him links to. Pointing out couples that are engaged. You don’t even have regular conversations anymore. You’re making him panic hardcore.

2. You never let him reach out to you. 

You are the one to initiate every move and you’re not giving him the chance to let him chase you or make plans. Even if you’re not needy, it scares guys away and makes him think you’re going to suffocate him. It’s easy to be enthusiastic about someone you like. Just back off and let him do some of the driving. Men like to pursue.

Read More: 10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

Is He Afraid?

Laura

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If Your Man is Like a Cat-Back Exhaust System, You’re In Luck

In dating, dating advice, men, relationships on March 29, 2017 at 7:09 pm

I never thought I would know anything about cars or men.

Actually, it’s debatable how much I know about the XX species—and I’m still learning about cars.

For a new job of mine, I’ve had to learn a lot about cars, trucks, performance driving, off-roading and then some. If you know me, you already know that all that stuff is Greek to me. But I’m a good student and hate to look stupid, so I’ve been doing my research. When it comes to men, I’ve made stupid mistakes sometimes, and I’m learning too—a work in progress trying to understand the sexy, mysterious and sometimes incredibly weird species, called males. Let’s just say…I have been researching men since age 3 and so far, I’ve yet to find that one guy that can capture me and throw me into his man cave for eternity.

But the other day, I had to write about Cat Back Exhaust Systems, and it made me think of men.

First of all, I knew zilch about exhaust systems, much less what a “cat” had to do with any of it.

But as I read on about mufflers, resonators, and horsepower, I realized that a man’s love or lack thereof, can be compared easily to a Cat Back.

Read the rest of this entry »

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An Offer I Can’t Refuse: Dating & Hunting

In dating, dating advice, love, relationships on March 27, 2017 at 4:03 pm

The other day a friend of mine said, “All of a sudden the guys are coming out of the woodwork!” She had had a few good dates…and it seemed all the ex’s were popping up out of nowhere, randomly…and at once.

It’s always the case—for women at least…is it the same for men? I’m not sure. Guys—you’ll have to tell me.

Why is it that men seem to all come rushing for you at once, when just a month or even days ago, nobody had “boo” to say to you?

It’s the hunt.

Men smell when you don’t want them, need them or have forgotten them.

And then suddenly when they realize someone else is hunting you and you’re no longer an option to bring back to their cave,  men come around to mark their territory. Or at least try to. This isn’t to say guys pee on you—but you get the gist of it.

So for example, at the beginning of the year, I had quite a few dates. Two people I saw a few times…but nothing that rocked my world. Then suddenly—

Read the rest of this entry »

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10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

In dating advice, relationships on March 16, 2017 at 1:11 am

You may wonder why you keep getting ghosted after a few dates. Maybe it’s not that you can’t start a relationship, but that you find that you can’t sustain a relationship. To you, it must be that the “guys” are the ones with the problems, and of course, it takes two to tango.

But it may be that you’re really a mess and don’t even realize it.

You may be doing things that signal to your potential partners and partners that you’re a hot mess. You may not even be “so messy” but may instead have learned bad relationship and life habits. Or, perhaps, you are truly a trainwreck in heels.

Whatever the case may be, you’re signaling to guys that you are a bloody hot mess. Here are 10 signs you’re a hot mess that makes guys run for the hills.

Read More: 10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

Messy, Messy, Messy,

Laura

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10 Expert Dating Tips After Divorce

In dating advice, divorce on January 9, 2017 at 3:20 am

Dating after divorce. Ah. When my ex and I first separated, it felt exciting to date and also, a bit like dodging bullets. While it wasn’t a whole new world — I had obviously dated before — it was still a new playing field and I came into dating differently this time, than I had before marriage.

Heed these expert dating tips offered to you by myself and Jason McClain — speaker, mentor, and life coach — before you go off into the wild yonder of dating after divorce. It’s better to have some wise advice under your belt in order to avoid unnecessary strife and heartache.

1. Get Out Those Old Ugly Feelings:

Jason McClain, urges you to reach out before dating and spend time with a good counselor or best friend to air out your feelings. Does either individual believe you are ready to date again? Ask for an honest answer.

From my perspective, there is nothing worse than sitting on a date with someone who is still angry, hurting, or messed-up over a former spouse. It’s very off-putting and instantly feels like the person needs therapy, and not romance.

Read More: 10 Expert Dating Tips After Divorce

Are You Ready?

Laura

I Am Not A Second Option. Either Choose Me Or Lose Me.

In dating advice, love, relationships on December 15, 2016 at 2:01 am

When you’re a matter of convenience and not a matter of the heart, you know you’ve got to walk away.

Let’s be real. We have all been the second choice. Default option. Substitute woman. Sidepiece. Batter-up. Understudy. Pinch Hitter. It’s the worst position to be in.

When you’re little, you’re taught to be a graceful loser. But when you’re a man’s second option, you’re fooled into thinking you matter, except it’s really not true. You’re just getting slivers and slices of this person’s affection, but somehow you’ve been walking around like you must matter to this man.

But you don’t.

You matter when it’s convenient for him. You matter when his first choice doesn’t show up or fulfill her role. You matter on an “as needed basis.” There’s no pain greater than continuing to live as the second option and accepting your occasional walk-on role in a man’s life.

So there must be a time when you decide no more. Finito. It’s time to retire the damn role of “default option.” It’s time to decide that you deserve to be the first choice, primary woman, lover, and friend, the priority not an option. The be-all-end all owner of his heart.

Read More: I Am Not A Second Option. Either Choose Me Or Lose Me.

Be Number #1,

Laura

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Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

In dating, dating advice, love, relationships on December 12, 2016 at 3:23 am

Meeting your partner’s family for the first time can be stressful, but then top it off with meeting them at the holidays, no less, and you’ve got a recipe for nerves. Before you decide to run away, break up, or pretend to be sick, put these tips in your back pocket, put on your best outfit and shoes, and you’ve got this!

1. Pick Your Most Comfortable and Polished Outfit

Now is not the time to choose those pants that you can’t quite zip up or put on that racy blouse, even if your honey loves it. Choose an outfit in which you feel comfortable and look good — even if you think it’s a little dull.

Also watch your shirtsleeves — when you’re nervous, you tend to sweat more than you typically do. Having a comfortable outfit will make you at least feel at ease.

Read More: Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

You’ll Do Just Fine,

Laura

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9 Little Gestures That Mean, YES GIRL, He’s Into You

In dating, dating advice, relationships on October 24, 2016 at 6:57 pm

You met someone and you’re in the new stage in which you’re really not sure where you stand with him or where things are heading. So what happens next? It’s the game of love — or heartbreak.

You two do that dating tango: the dance in which you decide if you’re really in sync with each other or not. But before you decide to get on your metaphorical dancing shoes, pay attention to all of the little things.

It’s not the BIG huge gestures of affection and sweeping statements that really indicate a man is ready to say ‘I love you’. Talk is cheap. Anyone can say they love you (or is into you), but the reality is, it’s the little gestures a man does every day, on occasion, or on a whim that shows just how in love with you he is… or isn’t.

Here are the 9 little gestures that say ‘I love you’ without saying a word:

 

1. He fixes up the house.

If your new dude-to-potentially-be is offering to be Mr. Fixer Upper, chances are high that he’s “fixing” to score you as well. He wants to help take some of the DIY burden off your shoulders and give the place in which you dwell a lot of love. Why? Because he probably loves you, too, at least a little.

Read More: 9 Little Gestures That Mean, YES GIRL, He’s Into You

OH– He Wants You!

Laura

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8 Signs He’s Not Just Having Sex With You, He Actually LIKES You

In dating, dating advice, love, relationships, Uncategorized on October 3, 2016 at 8:16 pm

You’re super-excited about someone and your feelings are intense for them. The sex is off-the-charts hot. The connection is amazing. Waiting to see this person is torture. You cannot imagine another second without being in this man’s arms.

You’re so cooked and fried over this guy, we could call you a friggin’ hamburger. But is he sizzling over you? (Pardon me… all this talk about sex makes me hungry. Wink.)

Is this man crazy about you and serious about the relationship you’re forming? Or is it just about the sex for him, and the only real relationship that’s going on is the one inside your head? Here are eight signs he’s actually serious about your relationship and isn’t just in it for sex.

1. When the chips fall, he’s there to see you through.

If he’s serious about your relationship, when your car breaks down, you get sick, the cat dies or you have a huge blowout with someone in your family, he’s there. He’s there not because he’s forced to be, but because he cannot imagine leaving you alone.

He’s there because he’s invested in the time he spends with you and developing what you two share. He’s there because you need him, and that’s all he needs to know. If he’s not there for you, he’s only into you as a “curvy, sexy body.” Period.

Read More: 8 Signs He’s Not Just Having Sex With You, He Actually LIKES You

He’s Into You,

Laura