Category: dating advice

Someone Who Deserves You

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Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

Why Giving Up & Deciding to Not Settle Anymore Is The Best Thing EVER

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Photo by Sami Hobbs on Unsplash

Climbing up a mountain is exhausting, but when you hit the top– it’s amazing!

However, when you’re with someone who doesn’t love or care about you while you try to make things work, it’s like you’re climbing a mountain constantly. That’s exhaustion with no reward.

It is really hard to give up on someone you love but if the person is constantly letting you down, never making you a priority, not caring about you, not there for you and not investing in you, giving up and deciding to not settle is the best thing you can do.

When you really look at your relationship, are you happy? Does the person love you and make you feel loved? Do they make you and the relationship a priority? Do you really matter and are you a pivotal part of this person’s life or does this person just take you for granted? Are you an option they pick “sometimes?” Do they keep you on the sidelines? Do they make you feel like #2,3 or 500?

If the answer is yes, what are you waiting for?

Give up trying to make someone appreciate you and love you. It’s exhausting work and not worth your time. I bet if you count up all the minutes YOU prioritized your relationship while counting up all the minutes he/she DIDN’T prioritize your relationship, I am pretty sure you’d see what I mean.

You deserve someone who values you and your relationship. You deserve someone who makes you #1.

Stop settling and roaming around the dirt, never getting the love you deserve.

Start shooting for the stars and get what is meant for you.

All My Love,

Laura

Why Someone Stopped Caring About You

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Ever wonder why someone stopped caring about you? Did you ever stop to think that maybe you took that person for granted and he or she got tired of feeling unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved?

Maybe that person got tired of you hurting them, essentially?

Here are some reasons that someone who was good, kind and loving finally got tired of you letting him or her down, and stopped caring about you:

You Never Showed Your Feelings

Did you act like you cared? Did you go out of your way to make this person feel loved? Or did you just assume the person would sit around and wait for you to give love back forever?

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Socially Distant Dates: Are You Going on Them or Avoiding Altogether?

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It’s a very weird time to be single and I’ve spoken to quite a few people who all have a different take on single life during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some people, have said they have taken a break from online dating altogether. The idea of managing online dating while dealing with their various circumstances during the pandemic is too much. Others don’t feel comfortable at all meeting even 6 feet apart and others still, find the video calling and potentially long waits of meeting in person not worth delving into online at this time.

Others have taken the circumstances to work to their advantage: I know quite a few people are meeting in parks or speaking to each other from porches or stoops.  Other people still, are video calling or chatting via phone before meeting either in person at a park or, when restrictions are lifted. Some relationships are even taking off: from a socially distant park meet up, to deciding to socially distance together, including the new person in their social circle of who they will interact with during this public health crisis. I have to say that having a buddy and partner must make this  whole isolation easier and I commend people for making it happen during such a bleak time.

There is a lot to consider before making a call like this:

  • How safe do you feel meeting someone in a park? Meeting during the day is the best bet in an active park. Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are meeting and what time you’ll be back.
  • How much protection will you use? Meaning, will you wear a mask or just keep your distance or both?
  • How willing are you to even meet someone at this time? Not willing? Very willing?
  • How ready are you to incorporate a new person into your life?

I would love to hear people’s stories, opinions and experiences in the comments!

You could help someone make that call– many people are on the fence about what to do during this time.

Lots of Love,

Laura

How Someone Treats You Is a Reflection of Who They Are

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Someone hurt my feelings a bit ago, and I found myself wondering what I had done to earn such behavior. When I dug deep, I realized I had done … nothing. When I spoke to a confidante about the matter, the person said plainly:

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this person’s self- view and own issues.

This is good advice.

How people treat us is often an indicator of how they view themselves and feel about themselves, more than anything.
Self- esteem and confidence. Past issues. These factor into many of our behaviors when we interact with others.

So, the next time someone hurts you remind yourself that this person’s actions are a reflection of how he/ she feels about him or herself. It has nothing to do with you.
Not to mention, your actions are in relation to how you feel about yourself.

All we can do is control our own actions. We can’t control if others hurt us or make bad choices. We can just choose how to respond and move forward.

Be Strong,

Laura

6 Easy Ways We Can Show We Love Someone During Social Distancing

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While we can’t grab someone in a bear hug or hang out with the person we love necessarily, we can still sustain our relationships and show love to the people we care about while six feet– or most likely, homes apart.

For me, I’ve had someone reach out every single day to ask how I’m doing and my daughter. The person always asks if I am doing okay and says something nice to me. This makes my day!

Another person asks if I need anything and went out of the way to help me accomplish something I needed to  keep me “sane” over this tough time. I will never forget that! It is one of the few things keeping me going during social isolation.

These things make a HUGE difference from a distance. These things show real love.

They make me feel loved. When we feel loved, we are happier and more positive.

Just because you aren’t face to face doesn’t mean you can’t make a loved one feel loved.

In fact, during this god-awful time in which the lot of us are frightened and unemployed and a chunk of us very sick, we need to be MORE Loving, MORE caring and MORE giving.

Now is not the time for BS, fighting, tensions or stress. Now is not the time to be cold, uncaring or harsh.  Now is not the time for petty excuses and nonsense.

We need more than love of course. Many of us need PPE, groceries and our health… but we need love too. A lot of it.

Here are 6 things we can do to make someone feel loved, despite the distance– no excuses:

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3 Things That Affect Whether Someone Trusts You or Not

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You may be a trustworthy person, but if you’re doing the following three things … your love interest and or partner may not trust you as much. It may even be unintentional completely, but small things can build up over time to affect how someone trusts you. If you’re unpredictable, not available or distant, you could end up causing someone to feel as if he or she can’t put all his or her faith in you.

Unpredictability

If you’re not reliable or can’t be counted on whether in general or suddenly, your partner may start to feel anxious around you. Instability doesn’t lead to trust and comfort. It leads to anxiety and distance.
Be consistent.

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The Moment When You Decide You Are Going to Be Loved Exactly As You Want to Be

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We all hit a point in our lives when we decide– whether very early on or later on– that we have had enough and want more.

We all hit that point where we are ready to own our lives and make our dreams come true.

We all come to that point where we decide that we absolutely without a doubt, cannot settle.

No more settling. No more waiting around. No more hoping for things to work out.

No more allowing people who don’t love or value us to continue to have us for nothing.

We decide we are opening ourselves up to all good and amazing possibilities.

From here on out even if the water is rough, we are going full throttle into the deep and finding what we want.

We say “adios” and swim forward to the future.

We find someone who fully embraces us. Fully wants us and cherishes us. Someone who gives us his or her all– just as we do in return.

We open ourselves completely to love in a positive way, whether we are 20, 40, 60 or older. We choose to seek out someone who truly cannot imagine a day or time without us. We choose to seek out someone who really is in it for the long haul– no games or BS> We find someone who loves us as is, flaws and all.

We decide to love and be love– and to ask only and I mean only for the best from our partner.

We decide that taking less than what we deserve is no longer acceptable. It is no longer serving us well.

We decide that we deserve the happy ending– and the happy middle and all.

We choose the best for us because we know we are deserving.

Every single human on this Earth wants to be loved and feel special. All of us.

We all want to be cherished and desired. We want to be loved.

And there will come a day for all of us when we know what we want and we will do everything in our power to get that love we deserve– without hesitation.

With Love & Light,

Laura

 

The Rules of Intimacy

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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

The rules of intimacy are simple and genuine. They’re not as complex as love is. Love is a feeling and feelings are often complicated– but complicated doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Love can be intricately and wonderfully complex.

Intimacy however at its core, is simple.

To really have intimacy though, you must honor that person and that intimacy!

You can’t take that person for granted. You can’t be full of hot air. You must be genuine and available.

The 8 rules of intimacy:

Be available & present

Emotional unavailability is absolutely not ok! It breaks intimacy down and hurts and isolates the parties.

Be available. Be present. Put your phone done. Put your “reactions” away. Listen first. Then respond.

But be available. Show up.

Be honest

This doesn’t mean cutthroat commentary at every minute. It means being honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and wants. When you are dishonest, you trash intimacy– whether you’re being dishonest with yourself or your partner, or both of you.

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6 Things to Remember That Will Give You Hope In Love & Life

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Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Sometimes all feels lost, but nothing is ever “all lost.”

There is always a star shining through the darkness. A bit of hope when you feel hopeless.

Hope always exists– if you find it. There is always joy to be found in each day– even when it feels as if life has you in a chokehold.

These X things remind me that there is always something to look forward to, around the bend:

Everything ends eventually

Even a wonderful marriage ends– in death. Even a great friendship ends– the same way.

Everything ends, eventually– good or bad. Remember that the bad times can’t endure forever. Everything shifts and changes. Hold on to your reins and keep riding because eventually, you will have outrode the storm.

Even if you’re single– someone exists for you

There is someone out there for you. Someone who will appreciate and care about you.

You may not know this person yet, but this person exists. All you need is an open heart and mind.

Loneliness is temporary.

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