You Had a Great Date & The Person Flaked Afterwards– What Happened?

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Photo by Davids Kokainis on Unsplash

Had an amazing date and then–screech– he/she retreated or has been flaky?

It can leave you scratching your head wondering what the heck just happened.

Of course, most likely it has nothing to do with you! So that’s one positive thing.

I mean, if you had a great amazing date and the person then acts weird– most likely, he or she is weird, and not you.

Here are potential reasons you’re not getting asked out again after a wonderful date:

The person is seeing someone else

The person may have feelings for someone else or may be seeing other people.

If the person wasn’t honest with you about that– that can suck– but it’s his or her fault … not yours!

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If You Can Remember The Day You Met Someone Happily– It’s a Gift

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Photo by Jorge Gardner on Unsplash

In a world where attention spans are about 0.2 seconds long and everyone has an agenda, running into a stranger and sparking a connection is really rare.

What are the chances of you meeting someone at Target or the corner deli?

They’re low but still– possible.

Can you remember the day you met someone special still?

Do you recall every detail by heart? Do you remember how you felt when you saw that person’s face or heard that person’s voice for the first time?

If you answered yes–  that’s a gift.

It is so rare that we have these special moments and even more rare to find people that we have special connections with.

It’s a shame that so many of us take the people we love for granted. That so many people don’t appreciate all that we have.

If this is you (and it’s quite possible that it is) ask yourself the following things:

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Look For These Things When Dating Men in Their Forties

mariya-georgieva-0O6Fv3Ff_XI-unsplashPhoto by Mariya Georgieva on Unsplash

If you’re dating and looking to meet a man in his forties, there are certain things to look for that you most likely didn’t consider when you were dating in your twenties.

At this stage of the game, your dating pool may be more shallow, but on a positive note, the man you should be looking for, will be wiser and hopefully, more self-aware than the guys you ran into when you were 20 or 30.

He’s Self-Aware & Works on Himself

He knows his flaws and doesn’t pretend he doesn’t have them. He owns who he is and also, he works to better himself. Sure, he will have baggage just as we all do, but he will try to make the baggage “lighter” and will always own which luggage is his– if you catch my drift.

He’s Willing to Work for You as He Knows He Stands to Gain

He’s not 20 and naive. He knows relationships take work. He knows that being with someone is a dance … sometimes you lead, sometimes your partner leads– and sometimes the pace is fast or slow.

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7 Annoying, Creepy or Rude Online Dating Behaviors

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Photo by Yogas Design on Unsplash

For a good chunk of the year, I decided to skip online dating and take a break from all of it.

As the tail end of the year arrived, I figured I might give dating a try again. Why not? So, in that whole process, I signed up for a few different apps.

My god. How is it that I have selective amnesia, forgetting how hideously awful and also, slightly humorous and scary this whole beast is?

Here are some of the most consistent and crappy findings I’ve noticed online. If you are doing these things or behaving this way, please stop. No one thinks you’re cute. Really.

Using Random Photos Without Your Human Face in ANY of Them

Literally, landscapes are beautiful but unless you’re a mountain, I believe your profile photo should be one of a human. Preferably of you– not someone else.

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4 Things to Remember About Online Dating

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Online Dating is a bizarre place, indeed. I have to wonder what people are thinking sometimes with the things they write, share or use as photos with the goals of meeting someone.

For example, one man wore a squirrel outfit as a main profile pic. Funny? Maybe, if you like nuts. Haha.

Another man looked like he was half asleep or high.

In other words, you have to have a really good sense of humor in order to swipe left and right for more than ten minutes. It’s easy to see why people don’t really enjoy the process. Both my male and female friends seem to groan over the whole thing.

So, if you’re about ready to swipe left or right on potential matches, keep these 4 things in mind in order to laugh more and cry less.

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Your (My) Partner & Relationship Must-Have List

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Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

If I’m being honest– which I am, and usually, bluntly so– there are some things that I really find attractive in a man. My ‘no-compromise’ list I suppose however, no one will ever be the pinnacle of some list. You will find someone who meets most of your requirements, but never all– and that’s ok! The key is knowing what your “must-have’s” are versus your ” nice-to-have’s.”

Do you really know what you want in a partner and what you can’t stand?

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my must’s, nice-to-have’s and don’t want’s, and I feel like it’s a good exercise to put what I want out into the universe. And I highly suggest you all do the same: find your absolute must-have’s in a human, and write it out– state it aloud!– and claim that person to the universe before you may have even met them. Owning what and who you want and being really hardcore honest with yourself is so important to making great relationships. In the past, I wasn’t honest and I ignored red flag after red flag, which did me no good. So for now, I’m owning what I want.

1. I really like a man who is Calm.

As a complete firecracker and siren, a calm man really just balances me and by calm, I don’t mean dull. I simply mean easy-going or not quick to freak out.

A man who is even-keeled and does not have a temper is really my speed.

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4 Kinds of Men Who Really Stand Out Amongst the Pack

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If I am going to date, it’s going to be someone good. A friendly girl by nature, there are many men for me to talk to– but, talking and taking the next step to go out together is a different thing altogether. I can be friends with just about anyone, but deciding to meet in person or go out somewhere if we’ve already met is a big deal considering I am busy and I don’t plan on settling. So, while these online apps and the real world can keep a girl busy, it doesn’t mean much until the talking turns into coffee or more.

The good news to all my single lady and guy friends searching for guys:  there are plenty of fish in this crazy turbulent sea even if you can’t stand swiping or don’t have the guts to say hi to the hot guy at the gym. Of course, there aren’t a plethora of good fish (dudes) around– for men or women— but they exist. There are some really good guys out there and if you’re like me and looking for someone with class and character,  you’ll want to pay attention to these 4 different types of men online or in the real world.

1– He’s Healthy– Not Obsessed With His Body

Ok, so maybe my gay friends would want 100% hotness over anything and I will admit, I like an attractive guy myself, but … the guy who is too obsessed with his looks whether in real life or online with fifty gym pics, is not good.

Keep your eyes on the guy who has healthy habits– body and mind– and exudes confidence with his words and mannerisms, not from his ab pics.

There’s nothing wrong with picking an attractive and fit guy– but you don’t want a narcissist.

A man who is healthy and fit but does so in order to have a good life and not obsess over his pecs is a good catch.

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A Table for Two: Time to Date Again?

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I took a break from dating for a while this year and learned a lot.

Ultimately, I enjoy being alone and I think if dating isn’t fun, it’s not worth it. I am extremely self-sufficient and I enjoy my own company. I had a peaceful summer and don’t think I missed anything by not being online!

However now that 2020 is looming near, perhaps maybe it’s time to give dating a stab.

I don’t have anything to lose and could have a lot to gain. And if it ends up being not fun, well I can take a break from it.

I truly believe that things happen as they should be, so if I am meant to be with someone, I will be. If it is meant to be, it will be.

If I end up alone, then I guess that’s just how it is. It could be much worse. I am a lot of fun! Being in my own company is pretty good.

I really feel like I am on the edge of really growing into exactly who I should be and if my journey includes another person, great! I have made little to no effort for a long time and so, I suppose it can’t hurt to put forth some effort. If I come back empty handed, whatever.

I already like my own company. It would just be fun to sit with someone else across the table from me who I enjoy talking to now and then.

Hopefully, however it happens for me, I will be spending my 2020 with extra-good company in addition to my own.

To A Life Well-Lived,

Laura

What Your Love Interest Wants You to “Buy” This Holiday Season

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Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

If you just met someone, have been with them for a while or care about someone and want to show them you actually care about them beyond the surface/physical … here are things you can “get” this love interest, and none of them are gifts. Although of course if you’d like to buy this person a gift, by all means do so! I’ll have some bonus tips on picking the right gift thrown in.

First, the biggest thing you can give this person is your Time.

Time to spend together, get to know each other and appreciate each other is the biggest gift of all.

But this time has to be well-spent.

Put away your phones! No surfing the internet while with this person.

Set aside your distractions.

Even if it’s just for two hours, two hours of quality time beats an afternoon where your love interest stares at his or her phone all day.

The second biggest thing you can give this person is your Affection.

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7 Traits ALL Good Partners Have in Relationships

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Photo by JD Mason on Unsplash

If you want to love someone, it doesn’t matter what gender or preference you are. Without these 7 traits, you can’t fully care about someone in a positive way.

Let’s dive in:

1. Honesty- Not Harshness

Being honest with each other makes for good communication but remember you don’t need to share every little last thought with the person.

Also– you’re not here to make someone perfect, so be kind with your words. Harshness will not build a relationship.

2. Available- Not Needy or a Doormat

Be available to the person you care about– emotionally and physically.

However, you are not a slave and you also deserve alone time and space. A healthy person will respect that.

Additionally, being too needy and in someone’s face is too much! It’s a balance.

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