The Benefits of A Relationship Vs. Benefits of Being Single

You want to date or you want to be alone. All of this is dependent on your perspective and current needs.

Dating someone or being single both have pro’s and cons– and it’s up to you to decide which “pros” are more desirable.

Here are the pros of being part of a couple versus being a swinging single:

Happily Coupled

1. Safe sex (usually)

Not only is the sex safe, but the sex is often reliable, enjoyable and experimental if you two so choose. When a relationship is safe and happy, often two people can really explore their desires and this is amazing. Not to mention without fear (usually) of STD’s etc. Of course, many people want a monogamous situation, and this will limit the ability to be with others.

2. Shared resources

When you’re part of a couple, you usually share mental, financial and physical resources. Two are better than one as the saying goes. You have someone to turn to and vice versa. It is very beneficial.

It does mean that you often cannot act without someone else weighing in on these resources.

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Why People Avoid Intimacy

People avoid intimacy and relationships for many reasons. There are a lot of factors that play into this, such as:

  • The quality and history of the person’s past relationships
  • The quality of their parents’ relationship
  • The general health of the person
  • The person’s exposure to healthy marriages and relationships versus the person’s exposure to unhealthy ones
  • Personal preferences, too

If you find yourself dodging intimacy or, find yourself caring about someone who avoids being intimate with you, consider some of these things:

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What Its Like to Be a Reluctant Dater

I took a break this year– about 5.5 months from dating altogether. I needed a break from the swiping, chatting and searching. It wasn’t getting me far and I wasn’t having fun. I enjoyed a nice peaceful summer at the beach and I don’t regret it.

Now, I’d like to date but I find myself reluctant on many levels and I wonder if I will ever have someone pull me out of this reluctancy.

To start, I married the wrong person– and I am reminded of this periodically even after all this time. The good news is I’m divorced. Happily. Separated almost six years and divorced almost four years.

So why still the hesitancy?

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How to Tell If You Are Really Valued or, Taken for Granted

There is a clear difference between people who value you and people who take you for granted, yet sometimes when we are vulnerable, not confident or naive, we miss these clear signs.

A lot of the time, I see women and men being taken for granted when they are already in a vulnerable state and can’t see the writing on the wall until it’s too late.

To prevent anyone from getting hurt, I’ve made a little quick ‘Go-to Guide’ to help you see clearly.  Maybe I can prevent a few heartaches.

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What to Do When Someone Won’t Commit

There is no greater pain than love and commitment not returned or worse, retracted.

It is very easy to blame yourself for this person’s state of mind and feeling. It is very easy to retreat into your pain.

But, here are a few things you should do when dealing with someone who can’t commit to save your sanity:

1. Remember It’s Not You– It’s Them

 The person has issues with commitment that probably have nothing to do with you. You have no idea what the person may have experienced prior to meeting you. That person could be a mess. Maybe they don’t know good love from bad love.

And even if it’s you like, say you aren’t a match for them or they don’t love you back … it doesn’t mean you aren’t a match for someone else.

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Why Does My Partner Go From Hot to Cold & Back Again?

There is nothing more frustrating than having a partner rescind his or her warmth and love. Especially if in return, you get a cold front.

It’s like having a relationship with someone who exists in a room: the door opens and so does your partner and then, the door closes … and so does the access to your partner.

I’ve been down this road before where a love interest or partner would shut me out and let me in … I know how painful it can be to deal with. I know the questions that run in your mind and that maybe keep you up at night. I also know what it’s like to walk away from that person. At times, my ex-husband could be very cold.

Here are a few reasons that could explain your partner’s mood changes from cold to hot, and hot to cold.

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10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered what makes a guy settle down? Have you ever watched a lifelong bachelor finally decide on someone? What about your guy friends? Have you seen them swoon over one woman and act indifferent to another? Have you, as a woman, sat there before or during a date and made some sort of strategy, whether it was to hold off on kissing, sex, or avoiding or encouraging certain kinds of conversations?

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how men categorize women they meet, strategizing and deciding how much of myself to reveal, give or offer up. After all, that’s what will make a good relationship in the long-run.

It’s always seemed straightforward: if a woman really likes a man, she should make him work for it and not give up too much. Because if a woman is too quick to hop in bed or seems to be too eager to be involved, a man puts her in that “short-term fling” category, instead of someone he’d want a long-term relationship with.

Read More: 10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Get the Scoop,

Laura

The One Change You Need To Make Before Going Out On A Date

When it comes to dating, you’re concerned. You have a laundry list of fears. You’re worried about the size of your thighs. You’re worried someone won’t accept your kids. You’re worried you won’t have the time for someone. You’re concerned people will judge you for your divorce. You’re feeling old. Isn’t that a count against you? And truly, will someone else love you for you? Or was your former marriage the last chance that happened, if your ex even loved you for you in the first place?

The fears I hear from people, men and women, but especially women after divorce, usually sound like the ones I listed above. The fear that ultimately, you have lost your chance at love, forever, simply because your marriage failed.

By the way, that’s a flat-out no, you haven’t, but it’s a fear many people have—men and women, alike.

Yet, there is one thing that I see many women forgetting as they start dating after divorce that if they considered it would really change the way they date and meet someone, for good.

Read More: The One Change You Need To Make Before Going Out On A Date

Is He/She Worthy?

Laura

10 Simple, Sexy Ways To Show A Man Intimacy (Without Jumping Into Bed)

Intimacy isn’t solely about sex. Sure, sex counts an awful lot, but that’s not the only factor that goes into building an intimate and passionate relationship.

We all know you can have sex without real intimacy and connection, but how can you be intimate with a man beyond or besides simply intercourse? Here’s how to be intimate without jumping into bed, and they are guaranteed to make his body ache just a little.

1. Give each other a naked massage.

Forget the clothes. Forget the half-clothed shoulder rubs. Get naked, both of you, and give him a massage.

9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Although you can get a guy who is a serial bachelor to commit, and then have the nice guy who suddenly goes “rogue,” there are key differences between men who can commit and men who won’t.

Usually, it’s a dead ringer and easy to tell which group a particular guy ends up belonging to, but for clarity’s sake (and to avoid heartache), let’s dish on the real differences.

1. Is he secure in himself?

Men who can commit: He’s secure in himself. He feels positive about who he is and knows that he has a lot to offer. He isn’t cocky or needy — he’s simply comfortable in his own skin.

Men who won’t commit: He’s cocky and feels entitled. Or he’s insecure, bitter and jaded. He isn’t rooted in the world as an individual and he can’t be committed to you. Picture him as a little leaf floating in the wind with no direction.

Read More: 9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Committed…or Not?

Laura