8 Signs You’re Limiting Yourself After Divorce & How to Stop It

You’ve gotten the divorce and made it this far, but you’re not really happy. It’s as if you’ve got one huge dark cloud over you and you can’t seem to escape it. Mostly, because you seem to keep getting in your own way. Your life was supposed to evolve and get better, which is why you got a divorce in the first place, but it’s as if you’re stuck. The real issue is you are limiting yourself and it’s keeping you from fulfilling your full potential, as well as being happy. Here are 8 signs you’re limiting yourself after divorce.

1) You Act as if the Divorce Happened Yesterday

Even if the divorce was a year ago or more, you’re acting still as if it happened yesterday. You’re mourning. Depressed. Angry. You can’t seem to get past the whole drama of the marriage, even though you say you’ve put it behind you.

You haven’t! It’s the shadow that follows you and it limits your potential.

2) You Have a Million Excuses for Everything

When someone asks you when you’ll start dating, exercising, seeking a raise, or doing anything remotely productive, you’ve got an excuse for it.

It’s never the right “time” you say.

You don’t have enough time, encouragement, money, energy etc.

The list of excuses is Old Testament long. Biblical.

Really, you are the biggest problem you’ve got and you hold yourself back.

Read More: 8 Signs You’re Limiting Yourself After Divorce & How to Stop It
Excuses, Excuses,



9 Ways You Unknowingly And Actively Sabotage Yourself From Finding Love Again After Divorce

If you’re divorced, it’s normal to wonder if you’re going to ever love someone again and have that person love you.

Doubting love and the longevity of relationships is normal. But if you’re one of those people who have decided that you want to try dating after divorce and find a lasting love, you need to make sure you’re approaching love the right way, and not from dysfunction.

Many of us struggle with issues such as trust, confidence and commitment after our marriages fail, but it’s how you manage those issues that make you succeed — or lose — in love.

Here are 9 ways you keep yourself from finding love after divorce.

1. You have flimsy boundaries with your ex.

You’re divorced, but your boundaries with your ex are fragile. You two are too invested in each other’s lives, or perhaps, you’re too invested in continuing to fight with each other.

This type of emotional friction keeps you from finding love. You need to stop the battle or stop the emotional investment in your ex in order to move on.

Read More: 9 Ways You Unknowingly And Actively Sabotage Yourself From Finding Love Again After Divorce

Your Own Worst Enemy- YOU!

5 Transformative Thoughts To Allow Love Into Your Life

Love is transformative if you allow it into your life. Some of us allow or have allowed people into our lives when in truth, they aren’t good for us or positive for us. Why? Well, because we often carry our own issues with us that prevent us from making smart choices in love. From low self-esteem to past hurts, sometimes we choose partners through the looking-glass lenses of damaged hearts and minds.

Does this mean that all is lost?

Of course not! Through these poor choices, we can grow. And after divorce is the perfect time to grow and learn from your bad choices. After divorce is the perfect time to take inventory of where you came from, where you are going and how you plan on making different decisions to gain a solid love for the future.

One of the biggest roadblocks I often see with my divorced peers is they don’t believe love is out there or generally, have a bad attitude towards love. So, here are my 5 transformative thoughts I use to allow love and positive things into my life. May it help others to do the same!

1) Your Past Doesn’t Have to Dictate Your Future

“I always meet the bad ones.”

“I always get cheated on.”

Step away from these negative statements and stop buying into them as truths. Yes, in the past you may have married a bad one, but that doesn’t mean your future will go the same way.

Stop assuming that because one or even many bad things have happened to you in love that it will always be that way. It is your assumptions and commitment to negative thinking that are getting in your way!

Read More: 5 Transformative Thoughts To Allow Love Into Your Life

It Starts With You,


7 Things You Need After Divorce More Than You Even Realize

There are many things you need to make it through a divorce, most of which is courage and tenacity. The process can be long and hellish if you’re unlucky, quick and easy if you’re fortunate. In any event, after a divorce no matter how good or bad the divorce is, there are some things you need after divorce more than you even realize. The chances are really that you’ll realize you need these things when you’re in the middle of a crisis or low moment, but if you know ahead of time, you’ll be better off.

1 – Patience

Patience is a virtue of which I lack. But let me tell you, getting a divorce certainly beat the importance of patience into my bones.

More than you know it, you’ll need patience.

Patience to navigate life afterwards, from finances to dating and new relationships.

Patience for your kids.

Patience for all the things that a divorce can bring.

2 – Ability to Let Things Go

Ouch, here’s another thing I struggle with.

You can’t make your ex be a good person. You can’t make money fall from the sky. You can’t make love happen when you want it to.

There are some things I can walk away from, and others I struggle to.

If this is you, divorce is going to require you to learn how to do this, asap. Really, life after divorce requires that you let go of things and people and conceptions, and quickly.

3 – Acceptance of the Unknown

You thought your marriage was going to be forever. News flash, it’s over.

Pretty jarring, eh? Yes, it is. Your fairy tale took a sharp turn to the right and suddenly, it’s a tragic-comedy or just a drama series.

Read More: 7 Things You Need After Divorce More Than You Even Realize

Strength & Peace,



8 Serious Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging Your Love Life

You’re divorced and now you’re ready to meet the right one.

Ok, got it! So many of us are looking for love, part deux.

But are you putting your best self forward? Or are you sabotaging romance before a spark can set aflame?

It’s not unusual for people to go out into the world bitter, afraid and slightly jaded after a divorce or any major breakup really. The key is really going out there and meeting people when you are truly your best self. Here are 8 serious signs you are sabotaging your love life all on your own.

1) A Billion Things on the Checklist

Before you’ve even met the person, you’ve got a billion things on the checklist someone needs to meet or you won’t consider him or her.

If your list of criteria is so stringent it is enviable to college application requirements, you’re not ready.

Yes—you should have deal breakers in your list.

Yes—you shouldn’t settle.

But no, it shouldn’t require jumping through hoops to be with you.

2) A Great Big Dump

Are you joining dates for a drink, only to prattle on about your ex or how jaded or torn you are about love and relationships?

You’re not ready. You’re a big hot mess of negativity and sorry, no one wants that.

No one wants to date your sad stories. A potential partner wants to date you—the available loving, you. Sure, you come with baggage like everyone does, but if your baggage arrives at the date before your personality can…you are not ready!

Read More: 8 Serious Signs You Are Self-Sabotaging Your Love Life 

Tellin’ Y’all It’s Sabotage…


6 Things That Keep You From Moving On

Are you separated? Newly-divorced? Struggling to find some happiness and a life of peace and joy? There are certain things that will hold you back from having the life you want. Some of these things you may not even realize are impacting you, whereas others may be more obvious.

If you’re not as happy as you hoped you would be, here are some potential things keeping you down and preventing your progress.


Stalling your divorce is not going to help you. Hanging onto the marriage and drawing out the separation is only going to impede your progress. Of course, you don’t want to rush a divorce agreement, but stalling or thinking that making it legal doesn’t matter, is a bad move.

It will keep you from cutting ties and starting afresh.

Read More: 6 Things That Keep You From Moving On 

Move On, Friend,


7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

Okay, so you’re divorced and now you’ve got to figure out the holidays…on your own or with the kids. It can take adjusting. Missing your ex (or maybe not!). Missing your ex’s family unless you still see them…or also, maybe not. Sharing your kids. Being alone. Less money. Being single.

It’s not surprising if you’re already feeling a little grinchy and not so spirited. But—and here is the challenge—even if you don’t have your kids…they’re watching you before they walk off to the other parent’s home. So you’ve got to shake off the holiday blues and make different memories and traditions that they will love, and so will you.

Or in other words, your divorce is not a death sentence. It just means some adjustments have to be made for you to find a new happy normal! Here are some holly jolly ways to create new traditions at the holidays after divorce.

Read More: 7 Ways to Create New Holiday Traditions After Divorce

Jolly, Jolly,


How to Take Your Financial Challenges and Turn Them Into Life Goals

It is very hard to stare down financial hardships and see a light at the end of the tunnel, unless you make a plan. Truly, having no financial plan in general, is dangerous. Even if you are scraping by for now and can’t be strategic, you can take these financial challenges you are dealing with, and turn them into life goals that will help serve you. Here are a few ways you can turn your financial hardships into something fruitful!


Do you have a bad credit score or maybe a lot of credit debt? This is a common issue after divorce. Perhaps your ex racked up debt or you racked up some yourself. Whatever the case is, take credit issues as a journey towards smarter spending.
Some tips I have learned from the advisors I met through Savvy Ladies:

Read More: How to Take Your Financial Challenges and Turn Them Into Life Goals

Challenge is On!