Someone Who Cares Will ALWAYS Be There For You in These 5 Situations

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We all have times when we can’t be present for someone we love, but there are 5 situations where we should always be there for the person we care about, no matter what– unless we are sick or in an emergency situation.

Illness

My friend’s spouse was not there and present while my friend was sick with cancer.

To me, that’s unacceptable. If you care about someone, you are there for him/her through illness and pain.

Death

If your loved one has lost someone he or she loves, you should be there for them, even if there has been a fight. Helping someone through the grieving process is an act of love.

Legal or Family Matters

These situations can be tough to navigate, and so the person you care about needs a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

Losing a Job

Losing a job is devastating and can be harder if the person was not expecting it or is financially unprepared for it. Being there for the person you care about will make the devastation not as bad.

Miscarriage, Infertility

Losing a child or realizing that having kids will either– a: not happen or b: be more difficult than someone had imagined is really hard.

If you care about the person, show up.

No matter what– show up for the person you care about.

To me, showing up is the greatest act of love someone can do for another person. We can’t solve our loved ones’ problems always or bring people back to life, but we can be there. That’s what matters most.

With Love To All Who Need It,

Laura

 

 

How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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Feeling Left Out & Alone From the Fa-La-La’s: Holiday Blues

markus-spiske-AF_4tBQjdtc-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

I have a lot of friends– most of which I would say are good, close friends, but it is hard for me to not feel a bit lonely amongst all the holiday cheer. Perhaps it’s that my family members have grown and gone many different ways. Some of which are not well and able to celebrate very much. Perhaps it’s being single for so long. Perhaps it’s living in a town where everyone is so closely knit and I am still relatively new. Perhaps it’s that some of the old traditions we have I couldn’t afford to do OR, that my kid was sick and we missed out on two festive things.

Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe not.

What do you do when you feel like the holiday cheer is so loud and you are lost amongst it? It is hard to not feel disappointed and sad because the most wonderful time of the year really can be so wonderful. Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy?

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What it Means to Really Appreciate a Friend, Family Member or Love

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Appreciate:( Transitive Verb) to grasp the nature, worth or significance of; to value or admire; to recognize with gratitude; to be fully aware of; to judge with heightened perception or understanding.

Do you feel as if your person or love really knows how significant you are? Do your family and friends recognize you with gratitude?

Are you valued and admired by the people you love, whether it’s your spouse, friend or brother?

As much as “to love” is an action verb, appreciation requires effort as well although the technical definition is rather intellectual.

It’s an act of kindness and love to really appreciate someone, because no one comes without flaws and bad days. No one comes with happiness and joy, 24/7. This means that to appreciate someone, you must truly embrace and “grasp” the nature of that person– the good, the bad and the moody.

When you don’t feel appreciated, it can be really difficult. Who doesn’t want to feel valued or recognized with gratitude?

Here are the differences between someone who appreciates you and someone who doesn’t:

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A Single Mom’s Christmas (Er, Hanukkah too) List

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Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash

The other day my daughter said she was upset because Santa leaves her way more presents than he does for me.

I’m a single parent and also, single. Thankfully, she believes in Santa. Not thankfully, I can only buy so many “fake” presents for myself. I told her that I tell Santa to not bring gifts for me and instead, to leave for her. This seemed to placate her.

In truth, while I wouldn’t mind a pair of diamond earrings, some dance classes and new shoes and a nice coat, I don’t view gifts in the same light as I used to. Or the holidays.

I won’t lie that nice gifts are attractive, but they don’t mean the same thing to me anymore. It’s not a priority for me. When I envision the holidays, I consider the people I will be spending them with and the experiences I will have with them. I would rather have love than diamonds. Time with someone than a gift to unwrap.

Today, as I cleared off my car of the first ice and snow of the season, I was reminded of how great it would be if I had had someone to do it for me while I got my kid ready for school, instead of spending 20 minutes doing it on top of everything else.

And while that’s not the same as seeing the tree in NYC with your partner or sharing champagne on New Year’s, it’s truly just the snapshot of how wonderful having someone great can be. Having someone to be present for you and helpful, is better than a present.

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If You’re Feeling Defeated in Love or Life, Read This

There is no worse feeling than defeat. That feeling when you have tried really hard to be your best you, repair a relationship family or romantic, reach a goal or what have you, and you failed.

Failure is devastating but to me, defeat is worse. Failure at least implies courage and an attempt made.

Defeat is pure loss.

It’s the relationship that didn’t work out. The dream that died. The reparations not repaired. The goal not reached.

When you feel defeated, how do you get back up again and believe in yourself when it feels impossible?

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What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

As the last of four girls, I am an official expert on being the youngest. And, yes, there is an expertise to being the best youngest sibling. The oldest always gets the credit for being independent or hardworking. The middle child gets credit for, well, being ignored most of their lives — or, cleverly, being “great mediators” and “peacemakers.” But the youngest?

The youngest children are touted as pure rebels or brats. Which might be a tiny bit true but is also, completely unfair to badmouth our existence and forget all that we truly excel at.

Here’s the real deal on what it’s like to be the baby of the family — the good, bad and the ugly.

Everyone thinks we’re in diapers, even when we’re 40

People forget that you’re a grown adult with a mortgage or rent to pay when you’re the baby of the family.

Read More: What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

I Was Probably a “Surprise,”

Laura

Saying Goodbye to The Parents We Knew As We Watch Them Age

When we were little, we couldn’t fathom our parents aging. We imagined them living forever, just as they were at that time. We couldn’t imagine them getting older or sick, retiring or even for some parents, remarrying. We envisioned them as timeless and in many ways, invincible.

But that isn’t life. As we age, so do our parents. No one is more powerful than time; it slips through our hands faster than we can consider the moment. And in many ways, watching our parents age is tough and heartbreaking. But in other ways, there are many things that are enjoyable about “growing up” with our parents.

When I became a mother, I could finally grasp what my mother had gone through with my three sisters and me. I could finally understand her working mom guilt. Her cranky moments and desires to float away behind a book without a kid to bug her from its captivating narrative. Her undying support of my love of the arts, whether I was in a play, a show, colorguard, band, dance or what have you. All the hours she spent driving to competitions hours away, listening to teenagers and music she probably despised … I can relate as I sit on a floor playing dolls with my daughter. As I drive her from soccer or to dance, watching her become a little being right in front of my eyes.

Read More: Saying Goodbye to The Parents We Knew As We Watch Them Age

Circle of Life,

Laura