Your Actions (or No Actions) Show How You Really Feel About Someone

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Photo by Kyle Hinkson on Unsplash

Every relationship is built on actions– lack of actions, plenty of actions, the wrong or right actions.

One of the biggest things that will always tell the truth even if you don’t want it to, are  your actions!

Your actions show if you are full of hot air or, true to your word.

Consider this example– you can tell someone to let you know if he/she needs help, or you can show up on the doorstep and help.

You can tell someone you care about them and they’re important, and never be available for them

Or you can be there when they’re sick, in trouble or just to spend time together.

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10 Valentine’s Day Gifts For Your Favorite Single Mom

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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

Lately, I’m running on empty. I’ve had a few fires to put out and other contending fires to still manage. Welcome to life as a single mom. Surprisingly, I’ve handled it all really well– minus some sleepless nights and a little heartburn. I can thank my dad for the heartburn. Pretty sure genetically, he handed that down to me. But I digress.

Valentine’s Day is in 8 days (yay!), and with that said, this single mom could use a few Valentine’s gifts for anyone in the mood to buy me something. Wink.

And if you don’t personally feel like gifting me, I’m pretty sure any other single mom I know would like these gifts!

Starbucks Gift Card

Your single mom would love a coffee gift card because chances are … she runs on Dunkin or the ‘Bucks.

Someone to Make Lunch

I hate making school lunches. I would love someone to make my kid’s lunch for a week!

A Big Box of Godiva

You can hand pick the truffles she wants at Godiva, and damn, it’s delicious.

I need one. I want one. I MUST HAVE ONE!

Bring Her Dinner or Take Her Out

Relieve her burden. Take her to dinner! Bring her dinner! Give her the night off, already.

Massage or Mani/Pedi

Chances are if you’re a single mom, treating yourself comes with either intense financial guilt … or doesn’t come at all due to $ or time.

Treat a lady!

Champagne or Wine

A nice bottle will take the edge of the last X of days I’ve been kicking *ss as a single mom.

Send!

Cozy PJs or Lingerie

If you’re her friend, don’t buy her lingerie unless she’s feeling you, too.

If you’re more than friends, treat her to something beautiful. Bring chocolate too.

If you’re just friends, cozy pajamas with some hot cocoa is super sweet.

Watch Her Kid/s

Be a babysitter. Give her a break. Don’t text her as you’re watching her kids either, unless it’s urgent.

Do a Chore For Her

Do the groceries. Fold the laundry. Clean the house. Get dirty for her. Give her a day off.

Just Make Her Feel Special & Appreciated

Enough said!

X’s & O’s,

Laura

 

Watching Your Parents Grow Old Is The Hardest Thing Ever

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Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

My grandparents died before I turned 2. I didn’t have the lucky privilege of having them around. So. watching my parents grow older is the first time I’ve truly seen people I love … grow old.

Recently, my mom fell and got emergency hip replacement surgery. Seeing her in extreme pain was horrible. Worrying about her recovery now– although she is improving– is hard.

No one warned me how hard it would be to watch your strong capable parents grow into more vulnerable people.

No one told me how hard it would be to sit and stroke your mom’s hair as if she were a child. Not the other way around.

Between work and caring for my daughter full-time, trying to get to my mom as much as possible has been challenging.

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Reasons to Love Valentine’s Day Whether Single or Taken

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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I love Valentine’s Day. I don’t care if I’m single, taken or jilted … the day to me, symbolizes love and hope for all of us.

I know there are a whole slew of haters on V day and I get it. Why should people (usually men) be pressured to make this magical day of love in order to prove one’s worthiness? We should love each other every day of the year and appreciate all we do for our loved ones. But a little reminder in a busy world can’t hurt! I mean, stopping to say —

Hey dude. I love you.

Or

You mean the world to me– and I express this with 50 different Godiva truffles.

Really isn’t such a bad day. Besides, there is chocolate! Lots and lots and LOTS of chocolate to be eaten. And damn, this girl loves chocolate.

Here are 5 reasons to stop being a little downer on Valentine’s Day– and to celebrate it whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or just “sleeping with yourself:”

Treat Yo’ Self

Buy the chocolate. Buy all of the damn chocolate!

My faves?

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Someone Who Cares Will ALWAYS Be There For You in These 5 Situations

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We all have times when we can’t be present for someone we love, but there are 5 situations where we should always be there for the person we care about, no matter what– unless we are sick or in an emergency situation.

Illness

My friend’s spouse was not there and present while my friend was sick with cancer.

To me, that’s unacceptable. If you care about someone, you are there for him/her through illness and pain.

Death

If your loved one has lost someone he or she loves, you should be there for them, even if there has been a fight. Helping someone through the grieving process is an act of love.

Legal or Family Matters

These situations can be tough to navigate, and so the person you care about needs a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

Losing a Job

Losing a job is devastating and can be harder if the person was not expecting it or is financially unprepared for it. Being there for the person you care about will make the devastation not as bad.

Miscarriage, Infertility

Losing a child or realizing that having kids will either– a: not happen or b: be more difficult than someone had imagined is really hard.

If you care about the person, show up.

No matter what– show up for the person you care about.

To me, showing up is the greatest act of love someone can do for another person. We can’t solve our loved ones’ problems always or bring people back to life, but we can be there. That’s what matters most.

With Love To All Who Need It,

Laura

 

 

How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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Feeling Left Out & Alone From the Fa-La-La’s: Holiday Blues

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I have a lot of friends– most of which I would say are good, close friends, but it is hard for me to not feel a bit lonely amongst all the holiday cheer. Perhaps it’s that my family members have grown and gone many different ways. Some of which are not well and able to celebrate very much. Perhaps it’s being single for so long. Perhaps it’s living in a town where everyone is so closely knit and I am still relatively new. Perhaps it’s that some of the old traditions we have I couldn’t afford to do OR, that my kid was sick and we missed out on two festive things.

Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe not.

What do you do when you feel like the holiday cheer is so loud and you are lost amongst it? It is hard to not feel disappointed and sad because the most wonderful time of the year really can be so wonderful. Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy?

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What it Means to Really Appreciate a Friend, Family Member or Love

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Appreciate:( Transitive Verb) to grasp the nature, worth or significance of; to value or admire; to recognize with gratitude; to be fully aware of; to judge with heightened perception or understanding.

Do you feel as if your person or love really knows how significant you are? Do your family and friends recognize you with gratitude?

Are you valued and admired by the people you love, whether it’s your spouse, friend or brother?

As much as “to love” is an action verb, appreciation requires effort as well although the technical definition is rather intellectual.

It’s an act of kindness and love to really appreciate someone, because no one comes without flaws and bad days. No one comes with happiness and joy, 24/7. This means that to appreciate someone, you must truly embrace and “grasp” the nature of that person– the good, the bad and the moody.

When you don’t feel appreciated, it can be really difficult. Who doesn’t want to feel valued or recognized with gratitude?

Here are the differences between someone who appreciates you and someone who doesn’t:

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