10 Life Lessons I Learned From Being Disappointed

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Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash

This week I had a few people disappoint me.

Plus, it was one of the hardest weeks I have had in the past few months. It was the last thing I needed– to be disappointed. Actually, does anyone ever need to be disappointed? No, but this week I just felt I took a real beating. Every day I had like 5-10 challenges. I’ve been trying to be mindfully positive each day as a resolution, and let me tell you this week put me to the test.

So, I’m sitting here and trying to think about some of the life lessons and positive spins I learned from being disappointed– and from this crappy week in general– as a positive take on the whole past seven days. Hopefully it can help someone else going through a rough day or week or, who’s dealing with disappointment.

Everyone makes mistakes, so maybe the person you disappointed still tried his/her best

The person may have had good intentions but perhaps that didn’t come across. No one is perfect. Maybe the person felt he or she was doing the best possible thing for you, even if it wasn’t what you needed.

Being disappointed sometimes shows you who values you and who doesn’t

Someone who values you will try hard to be there for you. Someone who doesn’t is bound to let you down. At least you know now that the person doesn’t care or value you.

Now you know the person lacks feelings and care for you.

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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11 Things I Learned About Life & Love in 2019

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Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

There is only one week left in 2019, and what a year it has been! It ended a little crazy– but also, with many things to look forward to. Simply put, if you can’t take lessons from your year then what good is it to celebrate a new one?

Here are 11 things I learned in 2019– and will never forget.

Standing up for yourself is never a bad thing

It’s not always easy to speak out when someone does something wrong, but it is necessary.

As a mom, I am a role model for my kid. If I allow bad treatment to happen or sit back and do nothing when I could make a positive difference, that’s not setting the right tone.

Breathe–your journey is not going to be the same as others

Your timeline will be very unique from everyone else’s. Even when it seems like everyone else on the planet has done something or hit a life goal in the same linear fashion, and you haven”t.

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Will You Be Remembered as a Good Person?

anthony-cantin-ig-lw0Dtz34-unsplash (1)Photo by Anthony Cantin on Unsplash

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”– Maya Angelou

On a daily basis, we do “things.” Some of these things are mistakes or bad choices. Some of these things are good choices and decisions. We interact with so many people on a daily basis, leaving powerful impressions behind on each person we speak to or even just look at!

How are we making these people feel? Are we leaving impressions of goodness or are we leaving them feeling annoyed, angry, hurt or disgusted?

And on a greater scale–when our time on this planet is done, how will you have left the people you loved behind? Will you have left them with good, positive feelings? Will you have left them remembering all the negative ways you made them feel? Will they remember you as a loving person who made them feel cared for?

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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6 Ways to Hide You’re Hurting When You Can’t Be Real

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Photo by Sami Hobbs on Unsplash

It’s not easy keeping it together if you are feeling depressed or going through some serious life stuff. A biggest part of the challenge is hiding it.

Sure, maybe you have people you can come clean with, but for the most part, adult life is going through the motions without showing the “emotions”– unless you trust someone and let your guard down. I’m not saying you should fake it and not get help. If you are depressed, you should get help. But what I am saying, is sometimes you have to keep it together when you’re out in public or in a situation that demands privacy.

Here are some tips for keeping cool when really, you need a hug and a break.

1. Steer conversations towards other people

Avoid questions and have the person talk about him or herself. Most people like to do that!

2. Take time outs

Take a mental health day. Go for a walk. Hide out for a while and work in a different location in the office.

3. Say, “I’d rather not…”

Discuss it. When people ask if you are upset, you can decline talking– and find someone you trust to vent to.

4. Take a drive and cry

If your kids can’t see you cry or you just need to let it out, blast some music and cry a bit. Just watch the road.

5. Can say you’re fine

Not ready to talk to someone about your hurt feelings? Say you’re fine and wait for a time when you’re more composed.

6. Exercise, meditate or dance

Move. Move and mooove. Put your sadness or stress into the motions.

 

Chin up– hang tight– and hope for the best,

Laura

 

 

7 Mental Getaways to Take This Summer

I’d love a real tropical vacation, complete with hot cabana boy and a lot of girly mixed drinks, but unfortunately, it’s not in my budget. I’m sure many of you can relate: you’re jonesing for a vacay, but your budget screams “Don’t even splurge on that mani-pedi for a few weeks.”

But this doesn’t mean that you can’t relish and delight in the relaxation that the summer heat screams. I know it’s not the same as an island or a European tour or Iceland cruise, but you can take these 7 mental vacations to really capitalize on the summer sunshine and get yourself (and your perspective) refreshed.

7 New Year’s Resolutions to Ditch This Year

t’s a timeless tradition: the New Year Resolution.

We resolve to make them by year’s end and then, as it approaches the end of January, suddenly, we’re completely off track. The key to making those resolutions stick is to form and word them like an actual habit and keep the resolutions simple. Another way to stay on target? Recruit a friend! A friend of mine and I emailed each other our resolutions and reached out on a quarterly basis to see how we were both doing and hold each other accountable. Truly, the buddy system works! Where I failed in 2018 with my resolutions was making too many. In typical fashion, I bit off more than I could chew and at times, my resolutions were too complex. Overall though, I did pretty well considering. For 2019 however, I’m going to stick to just a few and keep it simple.

Another reality of resolutions is we often make ones that are not realistic or concretely helpful. So, to all you single mommas out there trying to pin down your resolutions and goals for 2019, here are some resolutions you can kick to the curb or revise, and exchange for resolutions that are:

  1. Easier to follow and make habit
  2. Realistic and positive

Let’s get started!

REDO THE LOSE WEIGHT RESOLUTION

Many women (and men) make the “I’m losing weight goal,” only to be sidelined by well, cookies, cakes and leftover macaroni and cheese their kids didn’t finish.

Read More: 7 New Year Resolutions to Ditch This Year

Just DO It,

Laura

7 Reasons for Breast Pain Before Your Period (& Sometimes, After)

“Why are my breasts sore?” It’s a question many women ask themselves, especially if they’re suffering from sore breasts before period cycles.

I have dealt with severe pain and sore breasts for the past few years because I have fibrocystic breasts. I didn’t know, however, that I had fibrocysts until I ended up with a painful lump after my yearly breast exam and had to go for an early mammogram.

In general, it’s not unusual to have tender breasts before your period, but why does it happen in the first place? And what else could be causing you to have general breast pain? Here are 10 things that could be causing your breast pain:

1. Progesterone

During the second half of your menstrual cycle, your progesterone levels rise. In particular, these levels rise the week before your period. When progesterone levels rise, this causes your milk ducts to swell. Translation? It can make your breasts very tender.

Read More: 7 Reasons for Breast Pain Before Your Period (& Sometimes, After)

Periods Are A Pain,

Laura

The State of Wellness

Being well. Eating organic. Avoiding GMO’s. Making sure you’re part of a Crossfit “box.” Never using anything that has toxins on your skin. Doing yoga at least twice a week. Having a life coach.

If you are not taking your wellness seriously…you are ill! Incredibly ill. 

And a failure as a human being, completely, don’t you know?

Being well isn’t just feeling healthy and happy these days. It’s a full on business, complete with Kool-Aid sold to you at sometimes, exorbitant prices, with the goal of you being the most fit, green, and organic human being on the Earth. Forget keeping up with the Joneses; these days, it’s “out-rawing” your neighbor and making sure your home is so Feng Shui’d out that you are the most “well” person on the planet. These days it’s ensuring you can out “burpee” and bench press your fellow citizen and then brag that you haven’t ate a cooked piece of meat or used a skincare product with the word “paraben” on the label in order to know that indeed:

You. Are. Well!

Don’t get me wrong. I love running, the gym, ballet and eating healthy, but you won’t catch me going vegan or meditating every second. Although truth be told, a little meditation would be good for me! The fact is being well and healthy is very important but we can’t have a life coach for every move we make and we can’t squat and burpee our way down every single hallway and through every event in our life. We can’t always keep calm and Zen, mantra-ing our way through the day with a side of Yoga and essential oil. Sometimes, you need a little caffeine, curse words, chocolate and a complete meltdown on your couch.

Read More: The State of Wellness

A Little Caffeinated & A Little Zen, Too

Laura