In anxiety, fitness & wellness, relationships on August 26, 2016 at 5:26 pm
You may be the boss of you as an adult, but when you have anxiety, it can feel as if you are never in charge. There may seem to always be something hovering over you and stealing the wheel from your hands when you least expect it. In so many ways, anxiety can operate like a prison. It’s a sentence that you didn’t ask to serve or do anything to bring it on — most likely anxiety was handed to you by genetics or a traumatic situation — but it’s one that many people deal with, whether as a short-term sentence or a life-behind-bars type of scenario. It took separating from a former partner for me to understand how it had affected me.
And it wasn’t just my anxiety that reared now and again (an occasional sentence? community service?) that hurt my progress emotionally, but it was being romantically involved with someone who held it against me, hovering over my head, trying to make me feel bad about myself. Using it as a weapon for control.
It made the anxiety worse, not better, and in that case, there were two prison guards and one operated more covertly than the other (the former partner, not the anxiety). As I walked away from the situation, I started to see the writing on the wall.
I realized I was worth something and that while I can be anxious, anxiety does not rule and will NOT rule me.
Read More: How Anxiety Is Actually Like a Real Prison
Set Yourself Free,
In anxiety, fitness & wellness on August 22, 2016 at 7:58 pm
People mean well and want to help, but when someone is experiencing anxiety or feeling nervous, the last thing we need is more useless cliches that don’t help us one bit. It’s hard to understand anxiety unless you have experienced it. Most people have felt anxious in their lifetimes, but if you’ve ever experienced the glory of a panic attack or been so anxious you felt sick, you know why I see red when people say, “Just relax.”
Newsflash, Einstein: if we could just relax, we would.
This of course doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to manage your anxiety. When I am feeling anxious, exercise, deep breathing, stretching, and time with friends help me feel better. Sometimes it also means shutting down my cell phone and not bothering with anyone, minus my daughter.
But when someone tries to give you unhelpful advice about anxiety for the 50th time, it’s enough to make you want to check out of dodge for the weekend.
1. “Just Relax”
Look, do you have a magic wand to erase this feeling of dread? If you did, you would use it and if Idid, so would I. Telling me to “just relax” is not helpful.
Read More: 7 Things I Don’t Want You to Say When I’m Feeling Anxious
In divorce advice, fitness & wellness, single mom, single parent life on May 6, 2016 at 6:23 pm
Are you a stressed single parent? Welcome to the club! Adjusting to single motherhood definitely takes time but eventually, it’s simply the life you know and you’ll have a routine down pat. Still, women especially mothers, are known for biting off more than they can chew and not asking for enough help. This means that especially after a divorce, you could be feeling the burn mentally and physically, and no, I am not talking about voting for Bernie Sanders here. Some of you single moms may be laughing here when I say this but, there are ways to relieve your stress to bring you a happier and more peaceful life, post divorce. Things don’t always have to feel so difficult or challenging. Take my tips and find yourself feeling more at ease in your daily life after divorce!
Read More: 6 Ways to Relieve Stress as a Single Mom
Take a Deep Breath,
In fitness & wellness, women's issues on March 21, 2016 at 8:08 pm
You’re a great person. Trouble is, you don’t realize it. You’re too busy undermining your own worth that you’re not questioning how others treat you. In your eyes, people treat you badly because a) you think you deserve it, or b) you think you keep having “bad luck.”
The reality is, you’ve got no self-respect and therefore, you keep attracting some pretty undesirable people in your life. Here are seven signs you’ve got no self-respect and it’s seriously hurting your life.
- You’re the “doormat friend.”
If you’re always the one that people ask things for without giving back anything in return, you’re what they call a “doormat.” Do people get away with murder when it comes to you? Are you frequently left picking up other people’s messes? Do people just expect that “you’ll do it”?
If you answered yes, you’ve got no self-respect and are letting people walk all over you.
Read More: 7 Signs You Literally Have ZERO Respect For Yourself, Girl
It’s the Truth,
In fitness & wellness, humor, men on February 16, 2016 at 6:26 pm
The gym. It’s your haven. You might feel a little more at home at the gym than at work, or heck, even your own home. It’s the place you are at your worst and sweatiest, yet it’s also the place that you’re at your best. Your most hopeful. Your most powerful.
But as women, chances are hight that during a “moment” in our safe haven (aka the gym), our sanity and Zen attitude has been jarred by at least one of these five guys that women always seem to run into at the gym.
The Creepy Guy
Some of these guys have actual issues and others don’t have proper social graces, but the weird man who stares, as if he’s from The Silence of the Lambs asking for “the lotion, Clarice,” is so unnerving that you almost wished you joined an all-female gym or decided to work out at home that day.
Even when you give him your pitiful “please don’t chop me up into pieces” face he still stares back blankly at you as if he doesn’t register your pain and the awkwardness of his stare. The struggle is real.
Read More: The 5 Types of Guys You’re Bound to Meet at the Gym
It’s a Scary Scene at the Gym Sometimes,
In fitness & wellness, women's issues on February 12, 2016 at 1:06 pm
When you first got your period you probably experienced a combination of excitement — “I’m a woman!” — and dread — “Ugh, is this going to suck every month?” And if you are lucky, your cycle has been a regular and predictable ever since you wore your first maxi pad, but for many of us, our periods can become an outright problem.
I delivered my daughter via C-section and have had two D&C’s (dilation and curettage) due to miscarriages, and after the last D&C I noticed my periods weren’t the same. While I had always had lighter periods than some of my friends, they had a consistently normal flow lasting around three days and came every 27-28 days. Suddenly, it was as if my period came and went in two days and then only occasionally, and I would spot for days on end afterward. Wondering to myself what the problem could be, I started to go through the three questions a woman might ask if her period was light or absent:
Read More: Beyond Fertility: Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Period
In anxiety, fitness & wellness, life, mental health on February 2, 2016 at 9:40 pm
Be nice to yourself. You’re doing better than you think you are.
We are our own worst critics, but some of us have a literal scoreboard in our head that’s constantly giving us the “thumbs down.” It’s like living with a movie review team in your head. Except, unlike the famed Siskel and Ebert, the critic in your mind doesn’t have a day off or a moment of rest.
On one hand, being hard on yourself has pluses: people who don’t really care about what they say and do aren’t typically out making the world a better place. Someone who’s hard on themselves is someone who cares about their time on this planet, and that’s a good thing! Where it becomes problematic is the intense self-criticism that sucks the joy out of life and the intense “second-guessing.”
Are you too hard on yourself? Here are a few signs you need to ease up the pressure.
- Your accomplishments are never enough.
You got published somewhere huge. You landed the big raise. Your master’s thesis was accepted. It’s all just bliss and kittens to everyone … except you. You should have done X. You should have gotten 5K more in that raise. Did they really approve your thesis idea? Sure, but I bet they didn’t love it.
Read More: 7 Signs You’re WAY Too Freakin’ Hard On Yourself
Be Good to Yourself,
In anxiety, fitness & wellness, mental health on January 12, 2016 at 6:55 pm
Anxiety will never enrich your life or allow you to bloom.
At every turn, anxiety is your enemy and not your friend. Anxiety doesn’t discriminate; no matter your race, gender, sexual orientation or class, anxiety kills our spirits and hearts, and worse — our health.
Make 2016 the year you say “Buh-bye!” to anxiety. You deserve it. How many more moments do you want to waste, thanks to that b*tch anxiety?
- Anxiety is your enemy.
Anxiety will not help you succeed, nor does anxiety nurture your spirit or care about how badly you slept or ate that day. Anxiety is a soul-sucking parasite.
Read More: 15 Quotes That PERFECTLY Sum Up What Having Anxiety Is Like
Knows Her Enemy,
In fitness & wellness on December 31, 2015 at 2:02 am
As much as you may be committed to your health and fitness, it’s easy to get a little lazy about eating well, especially around the holidays. Who wants to say no to all the sweets, all the time? Not me! But with the New Year almost here and bathing suit season coming soon, (Memorial Day is only five months away!), perhaps we need to give ourselves a swift kick in the butt and kick these five poor eating habits to curb along with all our other baggage from 2015!
1. No Breakfast
I don’t care if you’re not a breakfast person. Get hungry! Eating small, frequent meals will rev up your metabolism. If you wait until lunch to take your first bite of the day, I bet you any amount of money that you end up eating more than you should. You overeat because your body needed food hours before your brain started sending hunger signals. Once you create the habit of starting your day with a small breakfast, your brain will begin to send more regular signals you need to pull out a fork or spoon in the a.m.
Read More: 5 Eating Habits to Kick to the Curb in 2016
Take Out the Trash,
In fitness & wellness on December 22, 2015 at 3:10 pm
When trying a diet, as you’re attempting to stick to a program, it’s not unusual to tell yourself little “lies” to either feel better about your choices or to make excuses for why you haven’t fully committed to getting the body you’ve dreamed of. And I’m not talking about becoming a supermodel overnight. But it’s not surprising to hear folks tell themselves little “lies” to compensate for not being where they want to be fitness-wise.
Here are some common “lies” you might get caught up in as you attempt to make a “new you” for 2016, and some tips to stop the BS — so you can start dealing with the truth and rock a more fit you in the New Year.
Read More: 5 Common Lies We Tell Ourselves When Trying to Lose Weight
Believe it & Achieve it,