Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

Summertime is almost here and that means, bathing suit shopping. I will rock a bikini, but I must admit that finding one that suits my top-heavy body with my boyish hips can be a pain. It doesn’t matter if you’re thin, thick, or in-between:

Many women struggle with bathing suit shopping. 

After a few weeks of baring my pale skin, though, I get used to it and enjoy being in the Summer sun and air, but I must admit . . . I doubt if I look OK in my suit. I criticize myself, and I find flaw after flaw, but I say “To heck with it,” and I embrace the things I do like and hope that I am not embarrassing myself. Being confident as a woman is important. You’ve got to love the skin you’re in.

It was so much easier bathing-suit shopping as a child. My mom would take me to the store, and I would pick out whatever fit my little girl fancy:

  • Stars? Yes! My favorite suit for a year was a purple one with big bold white stars
  • Characters? Smurfette? Yes, please! Bring me that one-piece with the big blonde blue Smurf character, and pronto, Mom!
  • Hot pink flowers? So summery. Yay!

Read More: Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

Enough is Enough,


Why Having a Bossy Girl is a Good Thing

We all know that it’s annoying when someone constantly bosses us around. We also all know that sometimes girls can be bossy. This is discussed, hashed out and paraded around like all the other stereotypes about girls and hey, it’s a pretty true stereotype.

But it’s also an unfair stereotype.

We love to drag girls through the mud for being bossy and b*tchy at a young age, but we find it heroic, amazing, sexy, and “part of the job” when a man or boy is bossy.

He’s being a leader.

Our girls are being bossy little tyrants.

Enough already.

As a grown woman with a bit of bossiness to her, I am the mom of a girl who is also bossy. Sometimes, it’s absolutely annoying. Through action, example, and discussion, my daughter and I go over the importance of leading and taking turns. Giving other people a chance to take charge and why we should try playing other people’s games, etc. She sees my happy and strong friendships and I try to model by example as best I can.


Read More: Why Having a Bossy Girl is a Good Thing

Praise our Strong Girls,


Reality Check: Does Your Teen Dress Too Sexy?

Do people think your teen looks older than she is? Are older men constantly checking her out? Does she wear clothing items that you could wear, or would look more appropriate on you? Are you faced with her cleavage or butt all day? Does she wear a full face of makeup daily?

If you answered “yes,” your teen may be dressing too sexy.

Before we dive in, though, let’s acknowledge two important points:

Men (Boys) SHOULD control their stares
No matter how a teen girl dresses (or adult female, for that matter!), a man can and should control his stares and leers. He is not an animal; he’s a human. People that say a teen or woman “made” the man leer or make lewd comments are forgetting the fact that men are humans, not beasts. We as humans have complex thinking and are capable of biting our tongues or veering our eyes downward. Saying a teen or woman “made” someone act inappropriately is in my opinion, almost akin to that old wrong argument in reference to rape and date rape: “She made him do it.”
A tight skirt or revealing clothing does not force any man/boy to act inappropriately. A man is in charge of his choices!

Read More: Reality Check: Does Your Teen Dress Too Sexy?

Help Empower Your Girl,


3 Awkward Feelings Tween Girls Have and How You Should Empathize

The other day I heard a woman at work complaining about her tween. Apparently, the tween was upset about her appearance and being a real pain in the you-know-what about what she was going to wear. Is this annoying? Yes! In fact, raise your hand if you’ve dealt with an annoying tween and her fashion quirks and tantrums. I bet a lot of you have palms stretched to the sky. Me? I’m still in preschool territory navigating younger tantrums, but when I heard this woman and her valid complaints, I couldn’t help but feel empathy for the tween.

It’s hard today to be a tween or teen. Social media. Smartphones. Technology. Kids are way too knowledgeable about adult life and adult problems. Marketing and the media have girls dressing like women before their time, in my opinion, and every time a tween or teen girl turns around, she’s being sent home for wearing the “wrong clothes.” If I thought puberty was hard in my time, it’s doubly so now. We are all so far from that time, though, that as parents and as people, it’s sometimes hard to remember those icky feelings of tweendom, like these:

Read More: 3 Awkward Feelings Tween Girls Have and How You Should Empathize

I’ve Been There,


Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

I hear myself saying “Oh, that looks very pretty” or “I love what you’re wearing” or “You’re very pretty” when I meet or see a little girl I know. It’s a knee-jerk response conditioned from years of growing up around five women and one man (my dad) who worked in the garment business and knows how to speak to women. One of the first things almost everyone does when they meet a woman is compliment her appearance.

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.

You look great. Fabulous. Did you lose weight? I love your shoes. Where did you get that dress? I really like your mascara.

She’s such a pretty girl. What a beautiful girl you are!

Read More: Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

Tell Her She’s Strong,


What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

I was picking my daughter up from aftercare, but once again, she didn’t want to leave. She was sitting at a little preschool-size table with one of her BFFs, and they were drawing pictures together. She had on leggings, a t-shirt, and a puffy zip-up vest. As I coaxed my girl to hurry up, her little friend pointed at my girl and said while laughing, “She’s so fat!”

Instantly, my blood tingled. I felt my face get a little hot.

“That’s not nice. We don’t say that to people. She’s not fat,” I said sternly with a voice that indicated I meant business.

I didn’t yell or say anything else, but the little friend looked at me with a face that read somewhere between, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that,” and “Wait, what did I do wrong?”

Finally, she said, still laughing, “Her vest makes her look fat.”

My daughter barely noticed the whole conversation and simply got up to go home as if nothing had happened, but something had happened.

To me.

Read More: What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

Raising My Girl As Best I Can,


What My Mom Taught Me About Being a Woman

When Mother’s Day comes around, we often think about how our mothers helped to form how we “mother” our own children. We reflect on what it was that made Mom so special or perhaps what it was that we wished our moms could have done for us that they didn’t. I’ve written before and thought very often about what I would adapt from my mother’s parenting and what I wouldn’t, but what I hadn’t taken inventory of until now was how my mother shaped my internal view on what it means to be a woman. Very often, we think of ourselves as workers, spouses, sisters, children, and mothers, but do we stop to think about what it means to us to be a woman?

Read More: What My Mom Taught Me About Being a Woman

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar…Meow?


How To Raise A B*tch

I am not a B*tch all the time, sadly. I am a go-getter and I am usually straightforward about how I feel, but I don’t assert myself like a B*tch does. Why would I want to be a B*tch you ask? And what is a B*tch, B*tch? Well, to the outside world, the word “B*tch” has a negative connotation: a nasty woman who tears others down and selfishly only acts in her own interests. A B*tch cares about nobody but herself!

But I’ve re-framed the definition to be positive and I’m recommending — yes, recommending — that you raise your girls to be b*tches. Here’s how:

Read More: How To Raise A B*tch

If You’re A Bitch Say, Hell Yeah!


Is Tinkerbell the better female role model for girls?

In today’s world, girls are given a flurry of mixed messages via the media and television.

Be pretty. Be successful. Reveal your body. Be cool. You can be like the boys, but you can be pretty. Wear makeup. Be Sexy.

These themes start from the get-go. Girls are given a multitude of “idols” to learn from. In my generation, it was the classic Disney princess model of “Dream for a man to save you.” Sure, we had Josie and the Pussycats, Jem, and later on, the Powderpuff Girls, but we were sold the idea that we can dream for a man to save us, while negotiating 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s feminism.

We were supposed to cook, clean, and run a corporation, all while wearing no bra, or a highly-supportive bra.

The stakes were high. It has certainly made negotiating my own role of motherhood and my sexual, creative, and work identity, rough. We expect so much, and beat ourselves mentally when we do not deliver.

I resisted the Princess Parade when my daughter first began to show her clear affections for Cinderella and Ariel, but hey, I like the music myself, and there is only so much resisting I can do.

I figured I’d get my own tiara and join in on the fun.

Then of course, I met the new Tinkerbell… Continue reading

Sugar and Spice, and not Always Nice: The Strong Will of Girls

Every time I chat with another mother out in the world I hear this: “My daughter…she’s just so ugh! So strong willed!”


“She’s got a mind of her own. She’s stubborn.”

As the daughter of a barn burner–thanks Candid Kay for the phrase–  I’ve had the same struggles. The head-to-head battles with my daughter over the most inane things and at times, it is frustrating.

But that said, I’d rather her be a stubborn mule than a “go with the flow Fanny,” and here’s why:

Continue reading