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Archive for the ‘girl empowerment’ Category

Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

In eating disorder awareness, girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on May 12, 2016 at 2:11 pm

Summertime is almost here and that means, bathing suit shopping. I will rock a bikini, but I must admit that finding one that suits my top-heavy body with my boyish hips can be a pain. It doesn’t matter if you’re thin, thick, or in-between:

Many women struggle with bathing suit shopping. 

After a few weeks of baring my pale skin, though, I get used to it and enjoy being in the Summer sun and air, but I must admit . . . I doubt if I look OK in my suit. I criticize myself, and I find flaw after flaw, but I say “To heck with it,” and I embrace the things I do like and hope that I am not embarrassing myself. Being confident as a woman is important. You’ve got to love the skin you’re in.

It was so much easier bathing-suit shopping as a child. My mom would take me to the store, and I would pick out whatever fit my little girl fancy:

  • Stars? Yes! My favorite suit for a year was a purple one with big bold white stars
  • Characters? Smurfette? Yes, please! Bring me that one-piece with the big blonde blue Smurf character, and pronto, Mom!
  • Hot pink flowers? So summery. Yay!

Read More: Magazine Tells 8-Year-Old Girls How to Choose Bathing Suits For Their “Body Type”

Enough is Enough,

Laura

I Survived Rape: Here’s What I Want My Daughter to Know

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood, women's issues on March 22, 2016 at 3:57 pm

My daughter is turning 5. She is not at the age when I can remotely have discussions about such insane acts of abuse and violation like rape. And really, how do I ever sit down and talk to her about the things that real-life monsters do? How do we ever explain these real-life monsters to our children? Many of us don’t have to until we come face to face with one of these true-life villains.

As parents, we don’t come equipped with an employee handbook; there are no clear-cut rules to raising kids besides the golden rules. I can’t “power up” my daughter to avoid every single possible instance of sexual crime, hate crime, general crime, and then some. But I can teach her a few things to help guide her to not only protect herself as best as she can but to also value herself so she aligns herself with positive people and not “dogs who have the fleas.”

Read More: I Survived Rape: Here’s What I Want My Daughter to Know

Support Her,

Laura

No More Cinderella: Why Teaching Your Daughter to Tolerate Nastiness Is a Bad Idea

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on January 28, 2016 at 7:18 pm

Cinderella is a lovely tale. The poor girl ends up victorious and a princess! Not too shabby of an ending. Of course, Cinderella has to endure torture and the life of an indentured servant up to the bitter end in which she’s finally set free of her terrible life. In the recent revamp of Cinderella, the main character goes on and on about being kind and having “kindness.” Truly, Cinderella is admirable. Being kind constantly to people who treat you terribly — well, that requires some vicious kind of fortitude, doesn’t it? And isn’t she a great example for our girls? To show them that kindness and turning the other cheek are the right things?

Well . . . sort of.

See, I think it’s important to instill in our girls that kindness is key, especially if we expect others to be kind to us, but Cinderella isn’t just kind. She’s a doormat. She never sticks up for herself. She takes it and takes it . . . and takes it! Is that really the example we want our daughters to follow? No. I don’t think so.

Read More: No More Cinderella: Why Teaching Your Daughter to Tolerate Nastiness Is a Bad Idea

Teach Her to Stand Up For Herself,

Laura

Why Having a Bossy Girl is a Good Thing

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on January 21, 2016 at 9:25 pm

We all know that it’s annoying when someone constantly bosses us around. We also all know that sometimes girls can be bossy. This is discussed, hashed out and paraded around like all the other stereotypes about girls and hey, it’s a pretty true stereotype.

But it’s also an unfair stereotype.

We love to drag girls through the mud for being bossy and b*tchy at a young age, but we find it heroic, amazing, sexy, and “part of the job” when a man or boy is bossy.

He’s being a leader.

Our girls are being bossy little tyrants.

Enough already.

As a grown woman with a bit of bossiness to her, I am the mom of a girl who is also bossy. Sometimes, it’s absolutely annoying. Through action, example, and discussion, my daughter and I go over the importance of leading and taking turns. Giving other people a chance to take charge and why we should try playing other people’s games, etc. She sees my happy and strong friendships and I try to model by example as best I can.

 

Read More: Why Having a Bossy Girl is a Good Thing

Praise our Strong Girls,

Laura

Reality Check: Does Your Teen Dress Too Sexy?

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on October 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm

Do people think your teen looks older than she is? Are older men constantly checking her out? Does she wear clothing items that you could wear, or would look more appropriate on you? Are you faced with her cleavage or butt all day? Does she wear a full face of makeup daily?

If you answered “yes,” your teen may be dressing too sexy.

Before we dive in, though, let’s acknowledge two important points:

Men (Boys) SHOULD control their stares
No matter how a teen girl dresses (or adult female, for that matter!), a man can and should control his stares and leers. He is not an animal; he’s a human. People that say a teen or woman “made” the man leer or make lewd comments are forgetting the fact that men are humans, not beasts. We as humans have complex thinking and are capable of biting our tongues or veering our eyes downward. Saying a teen or woman “made” someone act inappropriately is in my opinion, almost akin to that old wrong argument in reference to rape and date rape: “She made him do it.”
A tight skirt or revealing clothing does not force any man/boy to act inappropriately. A man is in charge of his choices!

Read More: Reality Check: Does Your Teen Dress Too Sexy?

Help Empower Your Girl,

Laura

If You Buy Your Kid A Sexy Halloween Costume, YOU’RE The Problem

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on October 6, 2015 at 3:47 pm

The other day I had a humbling experience. I took my young daughter for a Halloween costume and decided I should get one for myself. Except I’m a late 30s mom who fits into tween or teen costumes.

Sizing tends to be a pain in the butt, and I’m not exactly interested in all the costumes they offered. I asked the employee at the store if they had Disney princess costumes in tween or teen sizes.

His response? Looking at my daughter, he said, “We do, but they’re not exactly familyfriendly, if you know what I mean.”

There was a lady at the register who added, “He means the sexy costumes. You know, ‘Slutty Nurse’ or ‘Slutty Cinderella.'”

Read More: If You Buy Your Kid A Sexy Halloween Costume, YOU’RE The Problem

Let little girls be girls,

Laura

3 Awkward Feelings Tween Girls Have and How You Should Empathize

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood on October 2, 2015 at 5:14 pm

The other day I heard a woman at work complaining about her tween. Apparently, the tween was upset about her appearance and being a real pain in the you-know-what about what she was going to wear. Is this annoying? Yes! In fact, raise your hand if you’ve dealt with an annoying tween and her fashion quirks and tantrums. I bet a lot of you have palms stretched to the sky. Me? I’m still in preschool territory navigating younger tantrums, but when I heard this woman and her valid complaints, I couldn’t help but feel empathy for the tween.

It’s hard today to be a tween or teen. Social media. Smartphones. Technology. Kids are way too knowledgeable about adult life and adult problems. Marketing and the media have girls dressing like women before their time, in my opinion, and every time a tween or teen girl turns around, she’s being sent home for wearing the “wrong clothes.” If I thought puberty was hard in my time, it’s doubly so now. We are all so far from that time, though, that as parents and as people, it’s sometimes hard to remember those icky feelings of tweendom, like these:

Read More: 3 Awkward Feelings Tween Girls Have and How You Should Empathize

I’ve Been There,

Laura

Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

In girl empowerment, motherhood, parenthood, women on June 16, 2015 at 8:46 pm

I hear myself saying “Oh, that looks very pretty” or “I love what you’re wearing” or “You’re very pretty” when I meet or see a little girl I know. It’s a knee-jerk response conditioned from years of growing up around five women and one man (my dad) who worked in the garment business and knows how to speak to women. One of the first things almost everyone does when they meet a woman is compliment her appearance.

Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty.

You look great. Fabulous. Did you lose weight? I love your shoes. Where did you get that dress? I really like your mascara.

She’s such a pretty girl. What a beautiful girl you are!

Read More: Why You Shouldn’t Always Tell Your Daughter She’s Pretty

Tell Her She’s Strong,

Laura

What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

In body image issues, eating disorder awareness, girl empowerment, motherhood, women's issues on May 21, 2015 at 5:10 pm

I was picking my daughter up from aftercare, but once again, she didn’t want to leave. She was sitting at a little preschool-size table with one of her BFFs, and they were drawing pictures together. She had on leggings, a t-shirt, and a puffy zip-up vest. As I coaxed my girl to hurry up, her little friend pointed at my girl and said while laughing, “She’s so fat!”

Instantly, my blood tingled. I felt my face get a little hot.

“That’s not nice. We don’t say that to people. She’s not fat,” I said sternly with a voice that indicated I meant business.

I didn’t yell or say anything else, but the little friend looked at me with a face that read somewhere between, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that,” and “Wait, what did I do wrong?”

Finally, she said, still laughing, “Her vest makes her look fat.”

My daughter barely noticed the whole conversation and simply got up to go home as if nothing had happened, but something had happened.

To me.

Read More: What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

Raising My Girl As Best I Can,

Laura

What My Mom Taught Me About Being a Woman

In girl empowerment, life, motherhood, women, women's issues on May 4, 2015 at 8:03 pm

When Mother’s Day comes around, we often think about how our mothers helped to form how we “mother” our own children. We reflect on what it was that made Mom so special or perhaps what it was that we wished our moms could have done for us that they didn’t. I’ve written before and thought very often about what I would adapt from my mother’s parenting and what I wouldn’t, but what I hadn’t taken inventory of until now was how my mother shaped my internal view on what it means to be a woman. Very often, we think of ourselves as workers, spouses, sisters, children, and mothers, but do we stop to think about what it means to us to be a woman?

Read More: What My Mom Taught Me About Being a Woman

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar…Meow?

Laura