If You’re Feeling Defeated in Love or Life, Read This

There is no worse feeling than defeat. That feeling when you have tried really hard to be your best you, repair a relationship family or romantic, reach a goal or what have you, and you failed.

Failure is devastating but to me, defeat is worse. Failure at least implies courage and an attempt made.

Defeat is pure loss.

It’s the relationship that didn’t work out. The dream that died. The reparations not repaired. The goal not reached.

When you feel defeated, how do you get back up again and believe in yourself when it feels impossible?

Continue reading

5 Things to Do for a Partner Who Has Been Through Trauma

If you have been in a traumatic situation and are struggling to recover, rest assured: you are not the only person to have experienced this.

Trauma could be anything:

  • an accident
  • abuse
  • mugging
  • disastrous storm or natural event
  • rape
  • losing a loved one

Whatever the case, after enduring something traumatic, it can be hard without the right support. So, if you have a partner you love and are watching them struggle through something like this, here are 5 key things you can do to help your partner out.

Continue reading

6 Changes You May Hit in Your Forties That No One Talks About

The forties are the “me” decade. You awkwardly stumbled, twirled and partially danced through your twenties. Gained your footing and planted seeds for your life in your thirties. In your forties, the roots are growing and you stand tall.

But the decade doesn’t come without its bumps and bruises, of course.

I’m not a doctor or therapist, so I can’t offer any medical advice, and I know that everyone will have a different experience. But the forties may bring about some of these changes for you whether emotionally, or physically.

 

7 Mental Getaways to Take This Summer

I’d love a real tropical vacation, complete with hot cabana boy and a lot of girly mixed drinks, but unfortunately, it’s not in my budget. I’m sure many of you can relate: you’re jonesing for a vacay, but your budget screams “Don’t even splurge on that mani-pedi for a few weeks.”

But this doesn’t mean that you can’t relish and delight in the relaxation that the summer heat screams. I know it’s not the same as an island or a European tour or Iceland cruise, but you can take these 7 mental vacations to really capitalize on the summer sunshine and get yourself (and your perspective) refreshed.

6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

I think it’s paid off. I think my daughter has learned a lot from my example, and I think it has helped bridge the gap and heal relationships between myself and my ex’s family. I think it’s helped to ensure that my daughter has a relationship with them as well. I even see some positive changes between my ex and me, so I’ll take them.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Learning & Growing,

Laura

I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Ever since I was little, I have always had a strong personality and Type A ways. Not extremely Type A, like ironing my curtains or heading up every PTO class, but Type A as in as a child, I secretly (and quietly in my head) hated when people put my toys back in the wrong spot and as an adult, I am very organized and rely on to-do lists, reminders and documents to keep me on track and progressing.

In my life, this has benefited me in many ways. I managed my life as a comedian and actress for a long time because of this. I excelled in college due to my personality traits. And as a single mom, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off with my guts, determination, organizational skills, and direction. This has helped me infinitely in terms of adjusting to life with just me and my little one.

Read More: I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Always Learning,

Laura

6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Growing,

Laura

How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

We can all look back and feel regret or pain over mistakes or choices we have made. No one is perfect. Life is a journey and on our journey, we take wrong turns and make bad moves. If we knew everything already, we most likely wouldn’t need to be here. We’ve all felt regret and wanted to kick ourselves over things we’ve done. This is normal.

When it becomes unhealthy is when we dwell, living in the fear of our mistakes lurking behind us like shadows. When we can’t forgive ourselves and move forward. When we continue to judge ourselves in the present and future for actions that are left in the past, that is unhealthy. We need to be able to wave goodbye to the choices of the past and move ahead towards the future without yoking ourselves too intimately to our pasts. As long as we are not repeating the same choices, why should we continue to beat ourselves up, sentencing ourselves to misery?

Read More: How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

Heal,

Laura

10 Sayings Every Strong Woman in Her 40’s Should Embrace

There comes a time in your life as a woman when you embrace every last quirk you have, flaunt your strengths and accept your weaknesses like a queen meeting her subjects.

That time is 40.

It’s not that you are cocky or “better-than.” It’s just that as a strong independent 40-year-old woman you own who you truly are with no apologies. And if you are guilty of apologizing too much, (hands up—that’s me!) you know this is your issue, and you own your issues. Your baggage is baggage, but it’s yours and wholly-owned.

I wish so much I could go back to my twenty-something year-old self and shake her. Have a talk with her. A stern talking to. . .

With my thirty-year-old self, I’d do the same thing, but with a little more finesse. I was more polished at 30 than 20, obviously.

For all of you ladies stepping into or currently owning your forties, you’ll find that these quotes or sayings will resonate with you. When you’re feeling not so strong or need a pick-me-up or a reminder of how great you are, read these.

Read More: 10 Sayings Every Strong Woman in Her 40’s Should Embrace

Work It,

Laura

 

Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

I found out through a text from a friend of mine that a high school bully of mine was dead: “Did you hear? She died. She went to our high school. It’s really sad.”

I didn’t say anything at first. Empathetic, warm-hearted me hesitated before answering. I didn’t want to sound like a total insensitive jerk. I knew my friend knew this old bully of mine but I wasn’t sure how friendly they had been, especially after years of trying to learn how to deal with bullies and protect myself. Plus, some of my thoughts didn’t align with who I am inside — a good person with a big heart.

But even good people with big hearts can decide they’ve had enough of toxic people’s garbage, especially when it comes to the past and bullying in schools. They don’t want to forgive someone all that easily when they’ve been done completely wrong.

Read More: Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

Forgive & Heal,

Laura