Someone Who Deserves You

chermiti-mohamed-eS9Yl3y6peU-unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@chermitovee

Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

They’re Taking & You’re Giving: Stop Doing All The Work in the Relationship

victor-freitas-usNAh-a1kgc-unsplash

Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

If you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship, guess what?

You probably are!

Why should you do all the work, give and give and give, while someone else takes and does relatively little?

If this is you– doing all the heavy lifting to keep your relationship running– STOP.

Successful relationships require two people working together. If you’re the one offering yourself up all the time and killing yourself to keep it going while the other person makes zero to little effort, you’re doing it all wrong.

No one should be doing all the giving, loving, sweating and heavy work of the relationship alone.

No one should be taking whatever is given to him or her, while doing nothing or, not much at all.

There will always be times when your relationship will not be equal. One person will do more giving and the other, more taking, but this shouldn’t be a constant. If it is, stop giving and start demanding more of the person you are with. You deserve to take as much as you give.

Much Love,

Laura

Does The Person Really Like You For You?

everton-vila-AsahNlC0VhQ-unsplash

Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

You’re seeing someone and starting to have feelings. Or, the feelings have already begun, but you don’t quite feel so comfortable or sure about how the other person feels.

Does she like you? Or just enjoy you? Does he care about you? Or is he just horny?

Is he really invested? Or are you just available and easy to hang out with? Is she developing feelings for you? Or is she just finding a Netflix date?

If The Person Does Things With You Outside of  a Bedroom Actively, It’s a Good Sign

Someone who is interested in you makes plans to do things with you. Hobbies. Bike rides. Walks. Workouts. Lunches. Game nights.  You name it.

Someone who only spends time with you on a couch or a bed? Yikes, this person doesn’t really like you for “you.”

Continue reading

It’s Easy to Be Physical But Not So Easy to Love

khadeeja-yasser-FHT0KEOwtyg-unsplashPhoto by Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash

Anyone can have a fun physical connection with someone else. Anyone can buy a gift. Send a gift card. Anyone can have a quick cuddle fest or Netflix and “chill.”

But it’s not so easy to love. To be there for someone. To make them feel special. To really get to know them. To include the person in their daily life.

If you’re “seeing” someone and wondering where the relationship lies, just ask yourself these questions and you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to see how much you really matter to someone:

  1.  Is the person trying to get physical with you or getting physical with you, but hasn’t asked you on a date or included you in his/her hangouts with friends? If you answered yes, this person is taking the easy way out– and you don’t matter to him/her.
  2. Is the person available for you physically, but not emotionally? If this is a yes, this person isn’t invested in you beyond casual interactions.

Continue reading

Someone Who Values You Vs. Someone Who Can’t Take You Out to Dinner

saksham-gangwar-Pv7LzcSVsNg-unsplashhttps://unsplash.com/@saksham

One of the most important life lessons is to know how valuable you are. Because if you know you are valuable, you will never settle for anyone that makes you feel less then.
It’s taken me a lot longer than most people to realize I am a valuable and worthy person. I’m going to admit right off the bat that it’s very difficult for me sometimes to have any confidence and faith that I am really and truly deserving.

Because I have struggled, I have also learned the difference between somebody who values me and someone who doesn’t. So I’m hoping that sharing this will help others to not make the same mistakes I did. And if you have settled in the past or accepted  less than what you’re worth, don’t feel bad. You’re not alone and just know that every day is a new opportunity to try again and ask more of others and not settle.

 

Can’t Wait to See You Vs. Can’t Take You to Dinner

Oh yes. I’ve been there when the guy can’t even make an effort to take you out. When they have every excuse in the book. That’s not someone who values you. Someone who really values you can’t wait to see you. They’re  so excited and they look forward to getting to know you better.

Continue reading

3 Reasons It’s Great to Get Away After Being Hurt By Someone You Trusted

khachik-simonian-nXOB-wh4Oyc-unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@khachiksimonian

It is rare that I get a moment to myself. In truth, when I’m not with my daughter, ( who I’m basically with 24.7) I miss her terribly. It’s so weird being without her!

I got a few days to myself and so, on the spur on the moment, I decided to get somewhere to stay overnight for a night. Nowhere fancy at all because mama’s on a budget, but just somewhere close to the beach.
Normally I’d never make a plan like that, but I had a really bad week. Someone really hurt my feelings and it seems like things have just been difficult no matter what I do,  so I decided to pack some books and just find a place to lay my head at the end of the night. With it being Covid, I won’t go anywhere minus to pick up food or eat dinner and lunch  outside or hang far away from others by the beach.  I follow the rules.

Here are 3 reasons to go away after someone has hurt you or done you wrong … or heck, even if you’re just in a bad mood:

Change of Scenery May Cheer You Up

Sometimes a new location can help you snap out of a funk or bad mood.  It’s also a great distraction! Sunshine tends to help me when I’m upset, so being away for one day should hopefully boost my Covid and “dealing with someone’s hurtful choices“ bad mood.

Some Quiet Time May Help You Think

Getting away can help you find time to think and reflect. I’m personally hoping to do some deep thinking and make some big decisions in my mind while I’m taking my quiet time.

Doing Something Nice For You Can Boost Your Spirits

Going away or taking a day trip can be a great way to treat yourself and cheer yourself up.
I know after dealing with disappointment after disappointment, I could use a pick me up.

Find a Quiet Spot,

LL

 

 

 

A Prayer For The Hopeless

diana-simumpande-ABrC7X4_gLY-unsplashhttps://unsplash.com/@dianasimumpande

 

As I lay down to sleep, I don’t.

Sleep that is.

Some days, like this one, the pain is unbearable. I pray the Lord— the universe— the spirit— my soul to take and heal.

Although I believe it is not possible.

I’m grieving a great many things. The loss of someone who once was so much to me but is unhealthy and unable to be the same person to me or the people who love her. The loss of another person who didn’t live up to the contract he signed to our child. The loss of someone who was supposed to be working for my best interest. The loss of someone else who did not support me or care about me or want to be there. Abandonment a better word.

If I die before I wake Lord, take away the COVID. Life is so difficult for everyone. Seeing my child be isolated and seeing others so isolated. Being isolated myself. Being unable to see my elderly parents regularly. The constant arguing between people. Who is right and who is wrong. What is right? What is wrong?

Nothing feels safe or secure. It feels like I can rely on no one. No one and nothing is reliable besides myself. Forget my mortality it is also my sanity I question lasting.

As I lay myself down to sleep, I have a child growing at remarkable speeds. I wasn’t supposed to raise her alone. I wasn’t supposed to many things.

How much more I wonder, can I endure? Can we all endure?

Take my soul and heal it. I am not sure how much is left in me and all of us.

Amen,

L

 

 

How She’s Using You

kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@kellysikkema

Selfish and thoughtless, the woman who uses is just as bad as the bad boy who does it,too. Whether she’s seeing a woman or man, this ruthless creature cares about just herself.

She Uses You to Get The Job Done

She wants favors done, but can’t be bothered to spend real time with you or go on dates. You’ve never met her friends or family. You’re just around her when she needs something.

 

She Uses You to Boost Her Ego

Like the selfish man, she needs an ego boost so she hangs out with you when bored or needs to feel wanted. She doesn’t get close to you and is totally inconsistent. She is just bored and needs to feel pretty!

She Uses You For Insider Advice, Your Friends or Money

Does she commit to you, or is she committed to getting something from you, like money or advice? Is she interested in anything about you really? Or more interested in an end goal?

Selfish and heartless, the men and women who are users just really are careless creatures with no heart.

Don’t Fall For Her Garbage,

Laura

 

This Man or Woman Doesn’t Care, So Don’t Waste Your Time

louis-hansel-shotsoflouis-7RtM37cLJ3c-unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@louishansel

Avoid these types of men or women or whatever gender, to date because otherwise, you will waste time on someone who never cared about you in the first place. From my own experiences to my friends’ experiences, be wise:

Avoid Dating Someone Who Wants to Change Your Views or Religion

Someone who is never happy with your views or ways of worship or spirituality is going to be tough down the line. It’s ok if the person wants you to open up a bit to his or her way of thinking, but not if the person is trying to change you. This will end up a total nightmare for you where you’ll never feel accepted and loved. You will always feel out of the loop and not validated.

Avoid Dating Someone Who Won’t Commit and Has a Load of Excuses Why

Don’t date the man or woman who won’t commit and yet, likes you enough to sleep with you sometimes or see you sometimes. Why? Because he or she will be around. SOMETIMES. On his or her terms and when that person feels up to it. They’ll say they care about you but then their words are never backed up. They will always disappoint you because they don’t care about you or want you enough to change. Guess who will be left crying? You and not them.  This person doesn’t care about you at all. If he can’t introduce you to friends or she won’t move the relationship forward, then that person is just messing with your heart and wasting time. You’re not good enough for them in their eyes, so move it along before you regret it.

Avoid Dating the Money Hungry or Demanding Who Doesn’t Appreciate Anything

Time and again I’ve seen friends suffer over the person who always wants more and is never happy. They feel like they don’t do enough yet it’s really the greedy person who is the problem. If someone is constantly demanding you do more and never happy with you, or constantly wants you to spend money— that person is impossible. Don’t bother!

Trust Me,

L

Calling Someone Out on Their Cold Behavior Takes Guts

jason-rosewell-ASKeuOZqhYU-unsplash

https://unsplash.com/@jasonrosewell

I was excited to finally enjoy some alone time with a partner when the person announced he didn’t have any interest in seeing me.

Cold and heartless, I was so hurt.
There was nothing I had done wrong but this person had no desire to see me on the one chance I had free.

It was a glaring sign that this person not only didn’t care about me, but also thought very little of me and didn’t respect me.

I hit a wall. I had to call out the bad behavior because I had had enough.

The moral of the story? It’s hard to tell others how we feel but it’s necessary and when people are unkind and disrespectful , it’s necessary to say you’ve had enough.

Be Strong,

Laura