Socially Distant Dates: Are You Going on Them or Avoiding Altogether?

mike-benna-SBiVq9eWEtQ-unsplashPhoto by Mike Benna on Unsplash

It’s a very weird time to be single and I’ve spoken to quite a few people who all have a different take on single life during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some people, have said they have taken a break from online dating altogether. The idea of managing online dating while dealing with their various circumstances during the pandemic is too much. Others don’t feel comfortable at all meeting even 6 feet apart and others still, find the video calling and potentially long waits of meeting in person not worth delving into online at this time.

Others have taken the circumstances to work to their advantage: I know quite a few people are meeting in parks or speaking to each other from porches or stoops.  Other people still, are video calling or chatting via phone before meeting either in person at a park or, when restrictions are lifted. Some relationships are even taking off: from a socially distant park meet up, to deciding to socially distance together, including the new person in their social circle of who they will interact with during this public health crisis. I have to say that having a buddy and partner must make this  whole isolation easier and I commend people for making it happen during such a bleak time.

There is a lot to consider before making a call like this:

  • How safe do you feel meeting someone in a park? Meeting during the day is the best bet in an active park. Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are meeting and what time you’ll be back.
  • How much protection will you use? Meaning, will you wear a mask or just keep your distance or both?
  • How willing are you to even meet someone at this time? Not willing? Very willing?
  • How ready are you to incorporate a new person into your life?

I would love to hear people’s stories, opinions and experiences in the comments!

You could help someone make that call– many people are on the fence about what to do during this time.

Lots of Love,

Laura

4 Ways COVID-19 Showed Me People’s True Colors– & I’ll Never Forget This

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Photo by Zach Ahmajani on Unsplash

This virus has been the most difficult thing any of us have experienced in a lifetime– unless perhaps, if you were also alive during the 1918 Flu.

Challenging for everyone for different reasons, this virus has put all of our characters and collective sanity on the line.

But one thing is for sure, after this is all done, I will never ever forget the four different ways COVID-19 showed me people’s true colors. Not ever.

1. I learned who helps and who is just hot-air

The people who have helped myself and my daughter have been so valuable. There is nothing like having support when you are trying to raise a little girl on your own. There is nothing like having people who want to help and make things better for you.

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What It’s Like When Someone Likes You, BUT Doesn’t Like You Enough

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Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

When I was in my twenties, I dated this guy who was very much my type, but also really flaky. Hot and cold, he wanted the relationship but didn’t want the relationship. I really liked him and wanted the relationship, but he would change his mind a lot. It was annoying.

I hit my breaking point one day as I was going to visit my family for the holidays from the city, where I was living. I was sad and tired. Sad of him being a flaky pain in my butt. Sad of feeling neglected and also, on his back and forth path. Enough was enough. I wanted off his space cadet tour.

I told him I was done, but happy to be friends.  I knew it wouldn’t be super easy to be friends, but I knew I would be happier and honestly, he had gotten on my nerves so much that I was at a point where I didn’t feel the same way about him.  I lost the attraction for the most part, too. Being his friend worked for me. A few months after I told him I was done, he tried holding my hand when we went to a movie. I looked at him like, “WTF,” and told him “Nope.”

He stuck to the friendship boundaries for the rest of the friendship, but, still occasionally veered off track by flirting inappropriately or saying how he wished he had given me a real chance. I avoided all that nonsense because to me, I had put him in the friend zone. I had had enough. He had had his chance. Laura was done. He had regrets– and me? I had none.

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Is He/She Stringing You Along? Are You His/ Her Option?

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Your relationship– or developing relationship– is a priority to you … but it doesn’t always feel like it is to her. You sometimes feel as if you’re an option or second best to this person’s other life outside of you … but maybe you’re just sensitive.

Been there, done that– and here are a few signs someone is stringing you along and thinking of you as an option:

Makes Plans Last Minute

Does he always ask you out last minute?

Does she suddenly have availability?

Stringing you along…

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11 Things That Make Me Happy During the Covid-19 Outbreak

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It probably sounds ironic to mention the word happy next to Covid-19, but if you’re home social distancing … you’ve got to find some semblance of happiness or you’ll go crazy. And that’s ok,too: losing your mind at times is pretty normal also.

With that said, you have to find the silver linings in all of this or you won’t ever be “ok.”

For me, it’s the following things:

Tyson Chicken

A friend brought me a bag of this crispy Tyson chicken, and I just love it. Even when I’m not hungry due to stress, I’m always in the mood for more CHICKEN.

Tea and a Good Book

I love chai tea and I love to read. These two creature comforts make me feel more relaxed.

Sweet Messages

My one friend always makes a point to send me positive messages, telling me I’m doing great taking care of my little lady or that he thought I looked great and am working hard during a virtual workout.

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Is Your Love a 100 or a 0? Loving Actions Add Up!

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Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

This is a trying time for everyone, regardless of your class, ethnicity, marital status, etc.

So, under these trying times, is your partner or love interest taking time to be loving with positive actions? Are you taking time to be loving? Is your love interest available and considerate of your feelings?

Here are a few things that add up in a positive way. If your partner or love interest isn’t doing these things, he or she isn’t “adding” up to much.

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4 Signs Someone Isn’t Learning Life Lessons During Covid-19 Outbreak

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https://unsplash.com/@element5digital

If you’re not growing and learning during this public health emergency, what exactly are you doing?
Some people seem to be missing the point of this challenging time. If you’re not getting the point — what is really important and what needs to be prioritized— you’re not learning.

Here are 4 signs you’re completely missing the point and learning nothing during this pandemic:

Lacking Commitment, Patience and Love for People Who Matter

If you can’t put down your issues and be present and available for the ones you love, you’re missing a big life lesson. If you can’t be patient with others ( and yourself) you’re also missing the point.
If you don’t prioritize someone now during this awful event— you have zero priorities.

Grumbling About When You’re Healthy

If you’re healthy, be grateful. Many people aren’t. It’s ok to be  upset about missing milestones and friends. It’s ok to be upset if you’re out of work. 

But if you’re missing the gratitude in being healthy, you’re missing the point.

Not Checking In on Loved Ones / Being an Absent Partner

Now is the time to check in however you can on loved ones from afar or in your home. Now is the time to be present. You’ll never have this kind of time at home again. Don’t make excuses. If you’re emotionally unavailable or checked out— you’ve got problems and you’re taking everyone for granted.

Being Hard on Yourself or Expecting Too Much of Others/ Oneself

Now is not the time to pressure yourself to be perfect or do fifty million things during a stressful pandemic. The same goes for others. Pressuring people or being hard on loved ones is not fair at this time. Be loving. Be patient. Be giving.

Be Safe!

Laura

Someone Who Really Cares Wants The Commitment & Wants You

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https://unsplash.com/@erik_lucatero

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life it’s that people who care about you want you and want the commitment. They want the time with you. They want to work to make the relationship happen. They want you and will do their best to make you happy. They want the relationship to succeed and that means, making sacrifices and working to be the best individual and partner they can be.

Someone who doesn’t commit, doesn’t care.
Someone who is selfish or distant, doesn’t care.
Someone who isn’t consistent and isn’t available, doesn’t care.
He or she may like you as a friend. He or she may like you for just sex. He or she may think you’re a good person.
BUT— if he or she doesn’t commit, that person doesn’t want you and doesn’t care.

Commitment shows someone values you. Make no mistake about it.

Tale As Old As Time,

Laura

5 Signs Someone Sees You as Replaceable & Disposable

kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplashPhoto by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ever felt as if you put  out all your effort, affection and love for someone, only for them to be hot and cold– changing moods and personalities?

You wonder what causes the person to change so rapidly. You start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong.

Ever felt as if you aren’t good enough for your partner? WORSE, that the person tells you you’re not good enough or the relationship isn’t good enough? That  the person seems impossible to please or keep happy? Nothing you do is good enough?

You wonder how this person can complain or find fault or find flaws in you and your relationship, when there you are doing everything possible to be patient, understanding and loving with them and your very best?

Ever felt as if someone could do with you … or without you, depending on the mood?

You wonder how you could remotely predict what this person thinks or feels. You wonder WHAT could possibly be good enough for such a person! What could you do to be remotely good enough, when you’re already trying really hard to be “good enough.”

There you are, doing everything for the person– being your 100% loving and warm self, while that person treats you as disposable or replaceable?

Here are 5 clear signs the person you’re seeing finds you as replaceable, disposable and doesn’t care about you:

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The Sexual & Romantic Relationship You Need During the Covid-19 Outbreak

henri-meilhac-QjPc0bQtSNw-unsplashPhoto by henri meilhac on Unsplash

While some parties are sheltering in place together and others are “dating” from a social distance, there is really only one kind of relationship– romantic and sexual– that we need at this time.

Fun Exciting Intimacy & Sex

This can happen whether face to face or from a distance (albeit you’ve got to be imaginative).

This isn’t the time to be dull, distant or worse, fighting over dumb stuff.

Let the small crap slide.

If you feel stressed and less “excited” at this time, that is understandable and I’ll get into that in my next point.

But, if you are ready and willing– be creative.

Experiment. Use your time wisely because you will never have this many hours to kill to do fun sexy things together. Take advantage of this time. Seize it!

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