Photo by Sofiya Levchenko on Unsplash
It’s your birthday and your partner is working late. Again.
You have a free weekend after being so busy with the kids and work and your partner has something to do. Again.
You need a ride to the doctor’s for a procedure. Your partner is busy, unavailable or what have you. Again.
You want to see a show (back when concerts were allowed) or attend a party (same!), but your partner is busy, doesn’t feel like going or has something better to do. Again.
It gets lonely when the one person you love so much never shows up for you to celebrate with you or spend significant time together.
It eats away at your feelings and trust for your partner. You start to feel more alone by the minute and depressed.
It’s happened to me where I’ve felt so isolated and alone despite having someone around who “supposedly” cared about me.
It felt like a party for one constantly. Never there for me. Me doing everything alone constantly or with friends without him. Me feeling unloved constantly. Me feeling like maybe it was me. Maybe I wasn’t worth spending time with or maybe I wasn’t any good. Maybe I was not worth loving. Maybe I had nothing to offer.
I started to get used to being alone and lived my life without him to the fullest, but it always hurt and always felt like an insult to my character. I got used to the constant disappointment.
People wondered why I was always alone. I couldn’t explain it but it hurt like the worst hell.
If someone leaves you to attend the party of your life alone, leave him or her now.
You deserve to eat cake for two. You shouldn’t be spending parties, weekends and milestones alone. You shouldn’t be in a relationship or marriage feeling lonely all the time. You should have a partner who looks forward to being with you and makes time for you.