Why He Let You Down; Why She Left You Stranded

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Why Do People Let Us Down?

People let us down for many reasons. One, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all mess up. I know I made mistakes no matter how hard I tried, but that’s ok. We are human.

It’s when people let us down a lot that it becomes more about them– and not about “Oh, I messed up.”

People let us down because they lack commitment and dedication to us.

And when someone isn’t dedicated or committed, he or she won’t try as hard. The person will make less effort, care less and feel less. This person will be a bad friend, a negligent girlfriend or a distant husband.

People let us down because we have more hope and love for them than they do for us.

You’re a dedicated loving spouse. Your spouse is cold, distant or perhaps, unfaithful. When someone doesn’t care as much as we do, that person will go astray. When we love hard, we love hard. When someone doesn’t love much, we feel that lack of love. We feel that emptiness and loneliness.

People let us down out of stress and fear.

When people are anxious, gun-shy or afraid, they often let us down unintentionally. When people are stressed and pushed to their max capacity, they often let us down. They don’t mean to, but they do.

No one is perfect.

We all make mistakes.

The trick is to learn from our mistakes and do better the next time because we care. And when people don’t care, they don’t do better.

It’s up to us to do better.

Lovingly,

Laura

 

Recovering From a Cold Icy Partner

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You know you have or had a cold icy partner when:

  • The person always remembers things negatively
  • The person dumps you or during a break up, acts like he or she doesn’t care at all
  • The person shares extensive intimacy with you and then acts like nothing mattered
  • The person minimizes every special moment you have
  • The person rarely expresses affection or if they do they’re hot and cold
  • The person minimizes your feelings and tells you you’re too sensitive or remembering it incorrectly

If these situations sound familiar to you, congratulations you’ve either dated or married a very cold person. Or, were in a relationship with somebody who was icy cold. How do you recover from somebody so hurtful? The answer is it can take years but there are a few things you can do to get yourself warmed up after being with a total icicle so you can move on to someone who is loving and warm. Also, nicer. There is hope! Not every man or woman is a cold hearted jerk. Wink.

  • Remind yourself that the person has issues Whatever the case is, it’s not your fault if somebody is withholding love from you. Most likely the person has other issues.
  • Some cultures are more cold or seemingly cold than others so, it may just be a matter of upbringing and how the person was taught to communicate.
  • If the person constantly minimizes the good times you had or your feelings or the person wasn’t warm and expressive, that person seems a bit cruel and will probably be the same way to someone else. Let the next person feel the icy burn!
  • Get yourself out on dates with a variety of people and just try to have fun in order to rebuild your confidence because we all know that cold partners can tear down your confidence completely, making you feel unworthy and not lovable.
  • Remind yourself each day that this person wasn’t nice and you shouldn’t take what they said to heart because chances are they are not kind anyway. Don’t let those negative thoughts from that icy person get you down.

It’s not easy to rebuild your faith after such an icy partner, but you can do it! Don’t let a cruel cold person extinguish your beautiful inner light.

Love,

Laura

Someone Who Deserves You

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Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

They’re Taking & You’re Giving: Stop Doing All The Work in the Relationship

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Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

If you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship, guess what?

You probably are!

Why should you do all the work, give and give and give, while someone else takes and does relatively little?

If this is you– doing all the heavy lifting to keep your relationship running– STOP.

Successful relationships require two people working together. If you’re the one offering yourself up all the time and killing yourself to keep it going while the other person makes zero to little effort, you’re doing it all wrong.

No one should be doing all the giving, loving, sweating and heavy work of the relationship alone.

No one should be taking whatever is given to him or her, while doing nothing or, not much at all.

There will always be times when your relationship will not be equal. One person will do more giving and the other, more taking, but this shouldn’t be a constant. If it is, stop giving and start demanding more of the person you are with. You deserve to take as much as you give.

Much Love,

Laura

Calling Someone Out on Their Cold Behavior Takes Guts

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I was excited to finally enjoy some alone time with a partner when the person announced he didn’t have any interest in seeing me.

Cold and heartless, I was so hurt.
There was nothing I had done wrong but this person had no desire to see me on the one chance I had free.

It was a glaring sign that this person not only didn’t care about me, but also thought very little of me and didn’t respect me.

I hit a wall. I had to call out the bad behavior because I had had enough.

The moral of the story? It’s hard to tell others how we feel but it’s necessary and when people are unkind and disrespectful , it’s necessary to say you’ve had enough.

Be Strong,

Laura

Why Giving Up & Deciding to Not Settle Anymore Is The Best Thing EVER

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Photo by Sami Hobbs on Unsplash

Climbing up a mountain is exhausting, but when you hit the top– it’s amazing!

However, when you’re with someone who doesn’t love or care about you while you try to make things work, it’s like you’re climbing a mountain constantly. That’s exhaustion with no reward.

It is really hard to give up on someone you love but if the person is constantly letting you down, never making you a priority, not caring about you, not there for you and not investing in you, giving up and deciding to not settle is the best thing you can do.

When you really look at your relationship, are you happy? Does the person love you and make you feel loved? Do they make you and the relationship a priority? Do you really matter and are you a pivotal part of this person’s life or does this person just take you for granted? Are you an option they pick “sometimes?” Do they keep you on the sidelines? Do they make you feel like #2,3 or 500?

If the answer is yes, what are you waiting for?

Give up trying to make someone appreciate you and love you. It’s exhausting work and not worth your time. I bet if you count up all the minutes YOU prioritized your relationship while counting up all the minutes he/she DIDN’T prioritize your relationship, I am pretty sure you’d see what I mean.

You deserve someone who values you and your relationship. You deserve someone who makes you #1.

Stop settling and roaming around the dirt, never getting the love you deserve.

Start shooting for the stars and get what is meant for you.

All My Love,

Laura

When You’ve Had Enough: The Last Straw

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Photo by Meghan Rodgers on Unsplash

So long, Mr./Mrs. Nice Guy! Even we nice people get to a point where we can’t handle being taken for granted. Even nice people get tired of people’s crap and tired when people let us down. We give you folks so many chances but at some point, even we say– “Enough is enough.”

Have you ever felt as if you’re always giving people a chance? Always being patient and understanding of their issues? Always hoping the best for them? Putting in the extra effort? Going the extra mile?

Yeah well, we nice people get tired of giving, giving and giving, while people take, take and take. We get tired of being “so understanding” of other’s issues. And doing our best to keep everyone happy– friends, partners, family, etc.

There comes a point when it’s the last straw– the last straw to break the camel’s back. When we’re tired of someone hurting us, letting us down and disappointing us.

When that time comes, you best believe that even nice people say– “Screw it.”

We withdraw everything! We withdraw our love, our care, our friendship, our respect and our time. We withdraw from caring about someone who doesn’t give a hoot about us. We say– “Enough is enough.”

And suddenly, we don’t care about you. We have no time for you. We have no patience, no love and no nothing for you.

Our goodwill and love has an expiration date– today. 2020.

Peace Out,

Laura

 

 

4 Signs Someone Isn’t Learning Life Lessons During Covid-19 Outbreak

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If you’re not growing and learning during this public health emergency, what exactly are you doing?
Some people seem to be missing the point of this challenging time. If you’re not getting the point — what is really important and what needs to be prioritized— you’re not learning.

Here are 4 signs you’re completely missing the point and learning nothing during this pandemic:

Lacking Commitment, Patience and Love for People Who Matter

If you can’t put down your issues and be present and available for the ones you love, you’re missing a big life lesson. If you can’t be patient with others ( and yourself) you’re also missing the point.
If you don’t prioritize someone now during this awful event— you have zero priorities.

Grumbling About When You’re Healthy

If you’re healthy, be grateful. Many people aren’t. It’s ok to be  upset about missing milestones and friends. It’s ok to be upset if you’re out of work. 

But if you’re missing the gratitude in being healthy, you’re missing the point.

Not Checking In on Loved Ones / Being an Absent Partner

Now is the time to check in however you can on loved ones from afar or in your home. Now is the time to be present. You’ll never have this kind of time at home again. Don’t make excuses. If you’re emotionally unavailable or checked out— you’ve got problems and you’re taking everyone for granted.

Being Hard on Yourself or Expecting Too Much of Others/ Oneself

Now is not the time to pressure yourself to be perfect or do fifty million things during a stressful pandemic. The same goes for others. Pressuring people or being hard on loved ones is not fair at this time. Be loving. Be patient. Be giving.

Be Safe!

Laura

COVID-19 Should Make Us All Realize What Is REALLY Important

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Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

No matter where you are in this world today, most likely your life is impacted by this scary novel Coronavirus. For me and my girl, we are socially distancing and homeschooling/working. It’s challenging and isolating to say the least, but we are not alone. For us in particular, lacking adult and child/peer contact is difficult. But it’s for the greater good, society and our health. It’s not a “should we,” but a “we must” kind of moment.

During the day like many parents I am sure, I get snappy or annoyed. I feel like I can’t really focus on anything or, like I need to escape. Single parenthood doesn’t allow that escape. There are no other hands “on deck,” to change that for me.

But one positive thing from all of this is how clearly this virus points out what is really important in life and what isn’t. After this is all said and done, consider how many of us will “exit” this part of our lives and enter the next stage as a different person. Yes, some of us may leave financially devastated, anxious and depressed, but hopefully  all of us will realize now what really matters to us in life.

Love. The people in our lives. Our health. Happiness (mental health).

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3 Things That Affect Whether Someone Trusts You or Not

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You may be a trustworthy person, but if you’re doing the following three things … your love interest and or partner may not trust you as much. It may even be unintentional completely, but small things can build up over time to affect how someone trusts you. If you’re unpredictable, not available or distant, you could end up causing someone to feel as if he or she can’t put all his or her faith in you.

Unpredictability

If you’re not reliable or can’t be counted on whether in general or suddenly, your partner may start to feel anxious around you. Instability doesn’t lead to trust and comfort. It leads to anxiety and distance.
Be consistent.

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