9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

Affairs aren’t the only sign that there is clear trouble in a marriage. Some signs of trouble in a marriage are very obvious and others more subtle. Sometimes, others can see the trouble from the outside in before a couple can, and in some circumstances, the trouble is only prevalent to the couple; those haunting difficulties they share in private.

Read on to learn for nine signs that there’s big trouble in little China, i.e. your marriage, other than blatant affairs.

1. Consumed With Social Media

If your partner is chained to Facebook, it may be because the boy’s got a serious flirtation going on with an ex . . . or he’s hunting for old girlfriends.

If you’re the party whose nose is fixated on the news feeds, you may be doing the exact same thing. Tuning into social and tuning out your partner is a big fat sign your marriage is in deep dog doo-doo or the two of you are just negligent partners.

Read More: 9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

 

Deep, Deep Trouble,

Laura

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10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

If you asked me what the secret is to keeping people married, I would tell you there is “no secret.” I think that there are simple and logical things couples can do to avoid heading for divorce court. I also believe that if you don’t want to get a divorce, try to marry smartly. One of the things I didn’t do was marry smartly. There were red flags and questions about compatibility from the beginning, but at the same time I was in love and rather naïve to long-term relationships. The beautiful gift I got in the end was a gorgeous and healthy daughter. But there are things you can do divorce-proof your marriage as much as possible, and at the very least know no matter what that you tried your best as a wife for your marriage — always.

1. Be Separate

Give your partner some space. Constantly making your partner “ask for permission” to do things makes your spouse feel as if you’re a parent, not a partner. Let your partner have freedom to be, but not so much that your poor spouse wonders if you even like him or her.

2. Agree to Disagree

On some topics if the two of you are constantly butting heads, ask yourself if it’s really worth it to you to battle. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree and then let it die. If you knew going into the marriage that your partner always does X, Y, or Z and it annoys you, accept it and stop the fight. Picking battles is crucial.

Read More: 10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

Do Your Best,

Laura

10 Things That Shouldn’t Happen If Your Relationship Is ROCK SOLID

You say the two of you are tight. Rock solid. Impossible to tear apart. The two of you are a match made in heaven. An unbeatable team. Whatever the metaphor is for long-term bliss, you believe your relationship is it. The alpha and omega. Kismet.

And you may be right. There is one way, however, to measure up if your relationship is rock solid, or not. These 10 things will never happen if the two of you are really such an ironclad pair.

1. Cheating

Don’t tell us the two of you are a solid pair if there’s constant cheating. I’m not just talking about having physical contact with another person; I’m talking about the emotional cheating: Facebook affairs and texting with another person who is not your partner.

If your partner is “loving” and “liking” every hot photo of every hot chick and completing the sentiment with sexy comments, this is cheating. This is disrespecting you. An ironclad relationship has no part of this nonsense.

2. Second-guessing.

Are you always looking at your partner’s phone? Second-guessing everything your partner does or having insane suspicions constantly says your relationship is not rocks, but rather, paper.

Read More: 10 Things That Shouldn’t Happen If Your Relationship Is ROCK SOLID

There is No Room For Settling,

Laura

Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?

Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?—I sort of feel like this is a loaded question. Asking if one single solitary act can save a marriage seems destined to fail from the get-go. The reality is there is no magic cure for an ailing marriage. And not only that, but also there is no one answer that suits all marriages. However with that said, counseling can do a great deal of things for an “on the rocks” marriage and the people involved in it.

It can most definitely:

  • Help both parties deal with their issues on an individual basis. It’s not unusual for a couple to go to therapy together in couples’ therapy, and then see the same counselor or another separate counselor, on their own as individuals
  • Create a dialogue about what issues exist in the marriage and if the two parties feel they are resolvable or not
  • Assist a person in deciding, once the problems are “on the table” if he or she wants to work hard to save the marriage

Yes. That’s right. Work hard to save the marriage.

Read More:  Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?

You Both Have to Want It,

Laura

6 Red Flags You Must Pay Attention to Before Getting Married

Getting married? It’s an exciting time and one of the greatest joys in your life. You are about to start a brand-new chapter in your life that is like no other chapter you have experienced before. However, perhaps there are a few things on your mind that you are afraid to say or note to anyone. It’s not unusual to have second thoughts before getting married or “jitters,” but sometimes, those second thoughts are really our instincts trying to tell us something. That instinct may be trying to say, “Are you sure that marriage is the right thing to do with this particular person? Are you sure that this is a good relationship?”

Just because someone will offer you a ring does not mean that that person is the right person for you for the rest of eternity. Pay attention to your gut and listen: your instinct may be trying to tell you to watch those little red flags that are creeping up in your relationship. The bottom line? Breaking up is a thousand times easier than divorce, my friend. It takes minutes to get a marriage license. A divorce? That could take years.

Read More: 6 Red Flags You Must Pay Attention to Before Getting Married

It’s More Than a Ring,

Laura

3 Signs Your MIL Is Hell-Bent on Destroying You

The almighty mother-in-law. The one woman that is feared by all daughter-in-laws of the world. At least initially.

If you have the lucky fortune of being your MIL’s favorite daughter-in-law, congrats! You have achieved a status so many of us wish we could reach but sadly, never have or never do. If you have a difficult relationship with your MIL that either runs hot and cold or worse or is so brutal the two of you would fare well in a boxing ring, you’ll commiserate with these three harsh signs that your MIL wishes for your destruction.

Snubs Your Invites

Your mother-in-law would rather die, yes die, than go to a party, holiday, or any other occasion that the underling daughter-in-law is throwing. She somehow has to do her hair, feed the needy, raise money for the poor, and just about every other thing under the sun than attend a fete you’ve organized.

Read More: 3 Signs Your MIL Is Hell-Bent on Destroying You

Remember She’s Grandma & Act Accordingly,

Laura

To The Man Who Stopped Appreciating His Wife

Dear Man,

You’ve grown tired of your wife‘s sh*t, you say. Why doesn’t she do X, Y or Z more? Why does she nag you? Why does she leave the laundry for you to fold? Why doesn’t she wear more lingerie? Why does she breathe funny?

You can’t help yourself it seems. Everything your wife does annoys the living hell out of you. You look at your friends and their marriages. They seem so happy. Your one friend? His wife is so hot. She looks like she would be wild in bed, even when the kids are awake.

Your other friend? His wife is so sweet. I bet she never talks back, you think. You find yourself scrutinizing all the many “wives” in your path. They’re better. Hotter. Nicer. In all things and in all ways, your wife fails.

Read More: To The Man Who Stopped Appreciating His Wife

Criticism of Others is the Sign of True Internal Self-Hatred,

Laura

7 Toxic People to Avoid At All Costs

Here is a list of people you should avoid at all costs.

No matter how much empathy or sympathy you have for these people, don’t get close.

Please dear man or woman, heed my word and avoid these soul suckers:

1- Separated Men & Women:

Unless they’re divorced or have already seen a lawyer or mediator (with real plans to divorce), kick them to the curb for now.

Men tend to grab another woman in order to nurture themselves emotionally and sexually while in the rebound period or  while they are having martial trouble more often than women. Men will use women to nurture their egos.

Yes, I realize women can be vultures this way too, but I have seen many men do this.

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Why Does Your MIL Dislike You After The Birth of Your Child?

You had her favorite and only grandchild and so your mother-in-law couldn’t be any more excited! Technically, you should be her favorite person, and for a while there, you were. She called and texted you constantly and couldn’t wait to hear more about how the baby was doing. She even asked how you felt after labor (or a C-section) and brought you a little postbirth present. You two were sort of like BFFs. Well, as close as you can be with someone who’s not your own mom and as close as she can be with someone who, well, took her son away. Sniff.

But now? Oh, it’s a whole different ball game. Before you could do no wrong, as the bearer of the greatest of all: the grandbaby. But now? Now you are doing everything wrong, according to your dear old mother-in-law. Here are three signs your MIL kind of hates you after having her grandchild.

Read More: Why Does Your MIL Dislike You After The Birth of Your Child?

 

Eek!

Laura

To the Mom Staying in the Unhappy Marriage For Her Kids

You’ve been unhappy now for a while. It’s been so long that you’ve forgotten what happy looks like. Some people have no idea what you’re enduring. On the outside, you two look like a happy couple. But to the people who know you well, they know the full story and there are no pretenses there. You’re unhappy, and it shows. Even when you think you’re putting on a good show for the kids, you’re not. Even if your children can’t put their finger on what’s wrong with Mommy exactly, they know that their mother is not happy.

And most likely, although I know you don’t want to hear this, your kids see you in an unhappy marriage, especially the older children who have the outside world to compare your situation to. But because you’re a great mother, you stick around in this unhappy situation, believing wholeheartedly that you must be doing the right thing by staying married for your children. You feel by choosing unhappiness for yourself, you are choosing happiness for your children. Besides, how could you do it by yourself anyway? It would be impossible. You settle for your miserable marriage because you’ve told yourself it could be worse. They could be worse. You could be worse off. Your kids could be worse off.

Read More: To the Mom Staying in the Unhappy Marriage For Her Kids

Is it Worth Your Sanity and Theirs?

Laura