Recovering From a Cold Icy Partner

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You know you have or had a cold icy partner when:

  • The person always remembers things negatively
  • The person dumps you or during a break up, acts like he or she doesn’t care at all
  • The person shares extensive intimacy with you and then acts like nothing mattered
  • The person minimizes every special moment you have
  • The person rarely expresses affection or if they do they’re hot and cold
  • The person minimizes your feelings and tells you you’re too sensitive or remembering it incorrectly

If these situations sound familiar to you, congratulations you’ve either dated or married a very cold person. Or, were in a relationship with somebody who was icy cold. How do you recover from somebody so hurtful? The answer is it can take years but there are a few things you can do to get yourself warmed up after being with a total icicle so you can move on to someone who is loving and warm. Also, nicer. There is hope! Not every man or woman is a cold hearted jerk. Wink.

  • Remind yourself that the person has issues Whatever the case is, it’s not your fault if somebody is withholding love from you. Most likely the person has other issues.
  • Some cultures are more cold or seemingly cold than others so, it may just be a matter of upbringing and how the person was taught to communicate.
  • If the person constantly minimizes the good times you had or your feelings or the person wasn’t warm and expressive, that person seems a bit cruel and will probably be the same way to someone else. Let the next person feel the icy burn!
  • Get yourself out on dates with a variety of people and just try to have fun in order to rebuild your confidence because we all know that cold partners can tear down your confidence completely, making you feel unworthy and not lovable.
  • Remind yourself each day that this person wasn’t nice and you shouldn’t take what they said to heart because chances are they are not kind anyway. Don’t let those negative thoughts from that icy person get you down.

It’s not easy to rebuild your faith after such an icy partner, but you can do it! Don’t let a cruel cold person extinguish your beautiful inner light.

Love,

Laura

4 Things Thoughtful People Always Do

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There are certain things that thoughtful people—friends, lovers and family members — do on instinct and also, well-crafted thought. It’s very easy to tell when someone is particularly thoughtful: that person makes us feel very cared for and loved. Special. We feel safe and also, able to be our true selves, vulnerable and all, when someone is so thoughtful.
Here’s why:

Thoughtful people take action considering your feelings first.

Someone who really cares about you doesn’t make a move without considering how you might feel first. This is the person who knows how nervous you get when going to the doctor’s and in turn, calls you before and after an appointment.
The thoughtful person delivers both good and bad news in a way that considers the other person’s potential comfort level and response first.

Thoughtful People Love to Show You How Much You Mean to Them.

Thoughtful people enjoy expressing their feelings for you whether you’re their best friend or their spouse. When your birthday comes up, that person will be the first to plan a celebration for you. When you get a promotion at work or accomplish a goal, your thoughtful person will be right by your side to celebrate you. And if times are tough, that same person will be there to hold your hand and tell you how much you mean to them.

Thoughtful People Know Their Strengths and Weaknesses As Much As Your Own.

Thoughtful people know their own limitations, as well as the things they excel at. They are able to create a good network of people that complement these strengths and weaknesses, and they are very aware of their loved ones’ flaws and good traits.
In the same vein, they never make their loved ones feel bad for these flaws but instead, help the people they love to get stronger each day and also, support their friends, family members and romantic partners, knowing that somethings are harder for them than others.

Thoughtful People Pay Close Attention.

Thoughtful people are very attentive. They remember things about the ones they love, and try to tune in to their partners and friends emotions and feelings. They work hard on their listening skills. Let’s be honest: many of us are not good listeners. It really is a work in progress for all of us. Thoughtful people try to listen and keep their eyes on the ones they love. They do their best to give them focused and genuine attention, rather than being constantly distracted.

Thinking, Doing, Loving,

Laura

How Honest Are You Really?

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Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash

Love rejoices in the truth. So, how honest are you really, when it comes to your partner? Yourself? Your feelings?

Do you really have any clue of how you feel? Are you really open to your partner and spouse? Are you available and open, or are you hot and cold, playing games? Are you unavailable?

Who do you hurt with these games and lack of availability? Not just your partner, but yourself.

Do you believe you deserve love? Are you self-aware? Or do you bullsh*t yourself and others? Do you not know how you feel? Are your actions against your words? Are your words not in line with your actions?

What is it you fear? What are your hang-ups?

How honest are you with yourself?

 

Laura

 

You Thought Their Love Was Endless– You Were Wrong

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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

She showed up for you constantly. She tried to make you happy.

You were flaky. You were unreliable. You were hot and cold.

She got sick of it.

You thought she’d love you forever. Joke is on you.

Why did you think you could sit back and do nothing or, mostly nothing, and still be loved by her? Don’t you think you should get off your butt and do something if you expect her to care?

He did everything you asked and it wasn’t enough. He showered you with affection and you were cold and indifferent.

He got tired of your games. Why did you think he’d worship you forever? Don’t you know you can’t sit back and do nothing and expect someone to still care?

You thought this person was an endless source of love and waiting to be at your beck and call.

Well, news flash: the party is over. You had it too good for too long and now this person isn’t sticking around for your meager efforts.

Peace Out,

Laura

Someone Who Deserves You

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Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

They’re Taking & You’re Giving: Stop Doing All The Work in the Relationship

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Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

If you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship, guess what?

You probably are!

Why should you do all the work, give and give and give, while someone else takes and does relatively little?

If this is you– doing all the heavy lifting to keep your relationship running– STOP.

Successful relationships require two people working together. If you’re the one offering yourself up all the time and killing yourself to keep it going while the other person makes zero to little effort, you’re doing it all wrong.

No one should be doing all the giving, loving, sweating and heavy work of the relationship alone.

No one should be taking whatever is given to him or her, while doing nothing or, not much at all.

There will always be times when your relationship will not be equal. One person will do more giving and the other, more taking, but this shouldn’t be a constant. If it is, stop giving and start demanding more of the person you are with. You deserve to take as much as you give.

Much Love,

Laura

Why She’s Done

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You kept saying no. You weren’t available. You were busy. You had to work. You weren’t ready. You didn’t want to do it. You couldn’t do it. You didn’t want her. You didn’t want it. It’s not what you want.

All this time that’s all you said while she

Tried hard. Kept being available. Kept saying yes. Wasn’t too busy for you. Wanted to do it. Could do it. Wanted you.

You didn’t care. You didn’t appreciate her at all. You didn’t want her.

Finally, she got tired of your no’s. Tired of your unavailability. Tired of being alone while you did whatever you felt like as long as it wasn’t being available and loving her.

She took the weight of your no’s and the weight of your unavailability and held it as long as she could but eventually, she grew tired of it. Tired of you.

And eventually, she was done and gone.
And the only person to blame is yourself for your no’s, your lack of availability. Your position.

Check Mate,

Laura

 

 

 

Why Someone Stopped Caring About You

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Ever wonder why someone stopped caring about you? Did you ever stop to think that maybe you took that person for granted and he or she got tired of feeling unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved?

Maybe that person got tired of you hurting them, essentially?

Here are some reasons that someone who was good, kind and loving finally got tired of you letting him or her down, and stopped caring about you:

You Never Showed Your Feelings

Did you act like you cared? Did you go out of your way to make this person feel loved? Or did you just assume the person would sit around and wait for you to give love back forever?

Continue reading

How Someone Treats You Is a Reflection of Who They Are

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Someone hurt my feelings a bit ago, and I found myself wondering what I had done to earn such behavior. When I dug deep, I realized I had done … nothing. When I spoke to a confidante about the matter, the person said plainly:

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this person’s self- view and own issues.

This is good advice.

How people treat us is often an indicator of how they view themselves and feel about themselves, more than anything.
Self- esteem and confidence. Past issues. These factor into many of our behaviors when we interact with others.

So, the next time someone hurts you remind yourself that this person’s actions are a reflection of how he/ she feels about him or herself. It has nothing to do with you.
Not to mention, your actions are in relation to how you feel about yourself.

All we can do is control our own actions. We can’t control if others hurt us or make bad choices. We can just choose how to respond and move forward.

Be Strong,

Laura

Do Affair Relationships Last After Divorce?

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Photo by Octavio Fossatti on Unsplash

Affairs are a hot-button topic, both in the real world and online. From being cheated on to being the cheater, you can find many people who have been affected by marital affairs.

However, once the affair has “wrecked the marriage,” what happens to it? Do the couples stay together after the divorce or do they drift apart?

Before I dive in deep, consider these statistics when it comes to affairs:

  • Only 5 to 7% actually end in marriage
  • Of that number, 75% end in another divorce

I asked one coach, one private investigator, a relationship expert and therapist to tell me what they thought happens to the “affair” after the divorce is signed and sealed.

Read More: Do Affair Relationships Last After Divorce?

Spoiler Alert: Doubtful,

Laura