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Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

In marriage, marriage advice on June 8, 2017 at 1:24 am

Getting married may seem like a feat, but these days, it’s staying married that is the real task at hand. In a world that moves faster than we can really handle, it can be easy to let the basic tenets and principles of good love and partnership fall by the wayside, but don’t let that be your marriage! Don’t let it be you who is the lazy partner. Be present and aware of your partner and your marriage each day. Do these 10 things daily, and we won’t be surprised when year after year, you’re collecting another anniversary gift and enjoying another solid year of love with the person you said “I do” to!

1. Forgive

The best thing you can offer anyone you love is forgiveness. Each day, forgive. Forgive your partner for the flaws and mistakes. Unless it’s a major sin or breach of trust and respect, forgive. Your partner will never be perfect. He or she will always annoy you. Forgive and you will be happy and so will your spouse.

2. Touch

It doesn’t have to be a hot bedroom session, but touch your partner. Each day. Hug. Kiss. Hold hands. Rub his or her back. Touch. Touch is so vital — human contact reminds us that we’re there for each other, literally.

Read More: If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

Listen,

Laura

9 Signs You’re Not Radically Accepting Him (And It’s Going To Hurt You BOTH)

In marriage, relationships on June 7, 2017 at 1:48 am

As Andrea Miller describes in her book Radical Acceptance, radically accepting your partner isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. Radically accepting this person for who he or she is; radically accepting yourself for who you are; recognizing when your own junk and baggage are creeping into your relationship; recognizing when your desires and needs are projected onto your partner; forgetting that he or she has his or her own unique desires and needs; recognizing when you are getting in the way of your own happiness with your partner; acceptance of yourself and your partner —  this is what love takes.

Here are 9 signs you’re not practicing radical acceptance with your partner.

1. You push them.

This is one I had to learn myself. Pushing someone because you need him or her to do what you want him or her to do won’t help the relationship. It must come from the other person, and if it doesn’t, either you wait for it to come in his or her own time or you decide you cannot be with the person.

If you are pushing your partner to do/be/say something, you are actively asking this person to push you back — and not in the best way. Quit it. Let this person come to around; if not, then you make the choice if this relationship works for you or not.

Read More: 9 Signs You’re Not Radically Accepting Him (And It’s Going To Hurt You BOTH)

Accept Him/Her,

Laura

I Love It When My Spouse Says…

In love, marriage, relationships, romance on June 6, 2017 at 2:21 am

We all want to be told that we are loved — but not everyone wants to be told that in the exact same way! Does your spouse or partner speak your love language? For these people I spoke to, their spouses had something to say that just gets right into their very hearts and souls.

These 28 phrases, whether sexy, sensual, sweet, or kind, really make these married hearts go aflutter!

What does your spouse say that makes you feel so loved?

  1. “I’ll give the kids a bath tonight.”
  2. “Take all the time you need.”
  3. “Good job!”
  4. “You amaze me!”
  5. “Go take a nap — I’ve got this.”
  6. “Everything would fall apart without you.”
  7. “I thought about you a lot today.”
  8. “Meow!”

Read More: I Love it When My Spouse Says…

 

Speak to Her/Him,

Laura

Couples Reveal the ONE Thing They Keep Secret

In marriage, relationships on June 6, 2017 at 2:12 am

Everyone has secrets or things that he or she doesn’t want to share with anyone. Why would couples be any different? That intimacy and closeness has to come with a large dose of trust and a certain amount of exclusivity. While many couples I asked were hesitant to share anything that could incriminate them, these couples shared some of the funny, serious, and daily things that they don’t share with anyone else besides each other!

  1. “We don’t share the amount of money we win or lose when we gamble.”
  2. “I don’t tell others when we fight or how much money we make.”
  3. “Neither of us share our fights or our sex life . . . so people think we’re the perfect couple. Little do they know!”

Read More: Couples Reveal the ONE Thing They Keep Secret

 

What do you keep secret?

Laura

10 Things I Could Only Learn From Marrying The Wrong Person

In divorce, life, marriage on May 29, 2017 at 11:14 pm

There are some things in life that you won’t learn until you screw up badly or take a major risk. It’s taking that risk or making those mistakes that help you become who you are. Without those mistakes and failures, you’d be a fragment of who you are today.

Yes, you read that right! Your failures can really break you, but more importantly, they can make you.

Think about the last time someone gave you advice, especially in matters of the heart. Did you take it? Think about your last breakup. If someone had stopped you right before you committed to this person and said, “It’s going to end, so don’t bother,” would you have listened to him or her, or went ahead and married the wrong person?

You would have done what you wanted to. Had someone tried to stop me from getting married, I would have told them to screw off.

The reality is while I did love my former husband and wanted it to work out, we were not meant for each other. We couldn’t have lasted a lifetime, but without marrying him, I wouldn’t have learned so many things.

By taking the risk and getting married to the wrong person, I gained so much. A beautiful daughter and many life lessons that made me who I am today. Lessons that I could only have learned by marrying the wrong person.

 

Read More: 10 Things I Could Only Learn From Marrying The Wrong Person

Lessons Learned,

Laura

8 Little White Lies That Are OK to Tell Your Spouse

In marriage, marriage advice on May 13, 2017 at 9:09 pm

Honesty is the best policy . . . isn’t it? Well sometimes, it makes sense to tell a little white lie here and there to your spouse. Really. As contradictory as it sounds, a white lie on occasion will most likely save everyone’s sanity. Here are eight little secrets you can keep from your spouse without it hurting your marriage.

1. The Outfit Compliment

Really, if your spouse looks like an utter fool, it’s probably best you say something to save this person from embarrassment. However, there are many occasions someone might not really “rock” that new shirt, dress, or pair of pants but . . . your spouse loves it! It’s best you let your spouse feel good in that fashion choice. Don’t say a word, because if you do, most likely, it’s going to be the wrong thing!

2. When You Hate the BFF

If your spouse’s BFF is a big fat pain in the butt to you, most likely your spouse will see that the two of you don’t “jive” well. But if you really can’t stand this person, it’s advisable that you keep some of your critique to yourself. You don’t have to state that you love your spouse’s bestie, but you can hold back, and, if directly asked, soften the blow with a white lie like, “Well, we’re just different people.” Trust me, don’t mess with a spouse’s best friend . . . unless the person is toxic for your spouse.

Don’t Say It!
Laura

8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

In love, marriage, relationships on May 13, 2017 at 9:05 pm

Only children get a bad rep as being spoiled and self-centered. Personally? I just think the rest of us are so jealous on how good onlies can have it. The focus of their parents’ finances, hearts, and eyes. As the parent of an only, I can see drastic differences between her upbringing and mine, as the youngest of four girls. I can’t tell you how much I cherish having an only, although I would love to have stepchildren for sure. Onlies truly are resilient and bold creatures, making them in my opinion, pretty amazing partners! Here are eight reasons why only children are kick-ass amazing partners!

1. They’re Independent as HELL

While it may sound contradictory to say an independent person would be great in a couple, it’s not. Onlies are independent, meaning they won’t crush their partners with need. They are able to survive on their own and can offer a lot in a relationship. While being “too” independent can make people distant, onlies typically have close relationships with their parents from the very beginning years of life, making these independent gems able to connect with others all while still being self-sufficient.

2. They’re Creative

I spent a lot of time playing alone as a little kid because my sisters were older, but I had a neighbor down the street I could run to. With my only child, I hear the most amazing and creative “stories” playing out right in front of my eyes. Only children are creative because they have to be! If they grew up without kids to play with as much as their friends with siblings did, don’t you think they had to? Plus, only children don’t have “siblings” to take the heat from them when they get in trouble . . . or times are tough at home. They have to be creative to adapt or stay out of trouble. Your creative only child partner will keep things interesting and fresh. An only child as a partner is adaptive and inventive when the chips are down or up!

Read More:  8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

One is an Awesome Number,

Laura

9 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Marriage

In marriage, marriage advice on May 13, 2017 at 9:03 pm

While our friends are often our biggest supporters and “chosen family,” there are a few things you should avoid telling them about your marriage. Why? Well, in some cases it would just violate your spouse’s privacy, and in other cases, it could taint how people view the marriage . . . which can be detrimental in the long run. In certain situations, it may be advisable to only tell certain friends “certain things” and vice versa. No matter what, be careful when you share information about your marriage — lest it be held against either of you down the line.

1. Sexual Kinks

We all talk to our friends about sex . . . and it’s OK to share some details. However, if your partner has something he or she is very private about — say, he likes to wear women’s underwear or she likes to wear a strap on — whatever the case is regardless of sexual orientation and gender, be cautious about what you share with your friends. Sure, we all have that “one friend” we can reveal stuff to — I am typically that friend that people talk to — but not all friends need to know about a spouse’s proclivities, especially if he or she is not open about it to begin with.

2. Every Fight

Obviously, our friends are there to hear us out when we clash with our spouses, but if you give too much detail, be prepared for your friends, rightly or not rightly, to judge your spouse. If you’re on the verge of divorce, it’s another thing, but still, just be cautious, otherwise it can create a worse divorce process. If you’re in an abusive marriage, please share that with your friends. But, in most cases, it’s good to not divulge every vicious detail, and if you do, keep it to a few select friends.

Read More: 9 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Friends About Your Marriage

SSH,

Laura

10 Marriage Tips From an Ex-Spouse Who Has Been There

In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on April 12, 2017 at 11:28 am

As someone who was once married and now isn’t, I can say that even though I believe there was nothing that could have possibly saved my former marriage, I still think there are things I learned about marriage that I will carry with me to the next relationship. What good is life if you can’t learn lessons from it? Well, my marriage taught me a lot about me, a lot about what I want from someone, and a lot about what I need from someone (and have to give) in order to have a happy marriage the next go-round. Here are 10 marriage tips from an ex-spouse who has been there and done that.

1- Choose your words carefully . . . saying harsh words will only tear apart the marriage.

Read the rest at PopSugar!

Choose Your Battles Wisely,

Laura

10 Compliments Your Wife Loves to Hear

In marriage, marriage advice on April 12, 2017 at 11:26 am

Saying the right thing can mean a world of difference in a marriage, just as saying the wrong thing can, too. A genuine compliment to make a wife feel loved and special can go miles to make a relationship all the better! Here are 10 compliments your wife would love to hear.

1- I love how strong you are — and how determined you are to reach your goals.”

View this article on PopSugar!

And Yes, You’re Gorgeous!

Laura