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Archive for the ‘marriage’ Category

10 Marriage Tips From an Ex-Spouse Who Has Been There

In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on April 12, 2017 at 11:28 am

As someone who was once married and now isn’t, I can say that even though I believe there was nothing that could have possibly saved my former marriage, I still think there are things I learned about marriage that I will carry with me to the next relationship. What good is life if you can’t learn lessons from it? Well, my marriage taught me a lot about me, a lot about what I want from someone, and a lot about what I need from someone (and have to give) in order to have a happy marriage the next go-round. Here are 10 marriage tips from an ex-spouse who has been there and done that.

1- Choose your words carefully . . . saying harsh words will only tear apart the marriage.

Read the rest at PopSugar!

Choose Your Battles Wisely,

Laura

10 Compliments Your Wife Loves to Hear

In marriage, marriage advice on April 12, 2017 at 11:26 am

Saying the right thing can mean a world of difference in a marriage, just as saying the wrong thing can, too. A genuine compliment to make a wife feel loved and special can go miles to make a relationship all the better! Here are 10 compliments your wife would love to hear.

1- I love how strong you are — and how determined you are to reach your goals.”

View this article on PopSugar!

And Yes, You’re Gorgeous!

Laura

11 Qualities Every Man Looks For in a Wife

In love, marriage, relationships on February 24, 2017 at 1:03 am

There is no “wife buyer’s guide” in which a man can browse and pick the perfect woman — and no, online dating certainly doesn’t count — but there are certain traits that every man looks for when picking his mate for life.

There will always be a degree of variance. For example, most men admire a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, but some men may crave that trait more than others. Read on to learn what could make you “Mrs.” material.

Read More: 11 Qualities Every Man Looks For in a Wife

Wife Material,

Laura

9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on January 27, 2017 at 3:58 pm

Affairs aren’t the only sign that there is clear trouble in a marriage. Some signs of trouble in a marriage are very obvious and others more subtle. Sometimes, others can see the trouble from the outside in before a couple can, and in some circumstances, the trouble is only prevalent to the couple; those haunting difficulties they share in private.

Read on to learn for nine signs that there’s big trouble in little China, i.e. your marriage, other than blatant affairs.

1. Consumed With Social Media

If your partner is chained to Facebook, it may be because the boy’s got a serious flirtation going on with an ex . . . or he’s hunting for old girlfriends.

If you’re the party whose nose is fixated on the news feeds, you may be doing the exact same thing. Tuning into social and tuning out your partner is a big fat sign your marriage is in deep dog doo-doo or the two of you are just negligent partners.

Read More: 9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

 

Deep, Deep Trouble,

Laura

Dear Lazy Wives: Lose The Yoga Pants And Wear The DAMN Lingerie

In marriage, marriage advice, sex on January 26, 2017 at 2:50 am

If YOU won’t wear lingerie for your husband, who will?

I was at a mom’s event listening to all the woman chatter. One mom told me how she loved her yoga pants.

“I live in them,” she said.

“They’re comfortable,” I offered.

“My husband says I wear them too much. He complained. He asked if I would buy some sexy lingerie. He wants me to wear lingerie for him rather than these.”

She pointed down to her yoga pants and continued on, “I’m NOT wearing lingerie for him.” She snorted, chuckling like it was the most insane request a husband could make for a wife.

Before walking away I told her, “I think you should. I’m sure you’ll look great.”

Because if she’s not wearing lingerie for him, who is she wearing it for? And if she’s not wearing lingerie for him, who will instead?

Isn’t your husband the one person you should wear lingerie for? I mean, it’s OK to have your hot fantasies about that random guy at the gym or your old boyfriend from college, but shouldn’t this woman — shouldn’t every woman — want to wear lingerie for their husbands?

Read More: Dear Lazy Wives: Lose The Yoga Pants And Wear The DAMN Lingerie

Wear It,

Laura

10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

In marriage, marriage advice on January 19, 2017 at 2:41 am

If you asked me what the secret is to keeping people married, I would tell you there is “no secret.” I think that there are simple and logical things couples can do to avoid heading for divorce court. I also believe that if you don’t want to get a divorce, try to marry smartly. One of the things I didn’t do was marry smartly. There were red flags and questions about compatibility from the beginning, but at the same time I was in love and rather naïve to long-term relationships. The beautiful gift I got in the end was a gorgeous and healthy daughter. But there are things you can do divorce-proof your marriage as much as possible, and at the very least know no matter what that you tried your best as a wife for your marriage — always.

1. Be Separate

Give your partner some space. Constantly making your partner “ask for permission” to do things makes your spouse feel as if you’re a parent, not a partner. Let your partner have freedom to be, but not so much that your poor spouse wonders if you even like him or her.

2. Agree to Disagree

On some topics if the two of you are constantly butting heads, ask yourself if it’s really worth it to you to battle. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree and then let it die. If you knew going into the marriage that your partner always does X, Y, or Z and it annoys you, accept it and stop the fight. Picking battles is crucial.

Read More: 10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage

Do Your Best,

Laura

How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

In humor, marriage, Uncategorized on November 11, 2016 at 1:53 am

You want your mother-in-law to like you but the chances of that happening are about, oh, one in a million, but you still have hope.

That’s OK, Mama. Everyone can have dreams. But just remember, you took her baby boy. Her pride and joy. Her reason for existing. Did you just experience a little heartburn upon reading that? Not surprising.

It’s hard to understand why your MIL can love the grandchildren you made, yet wish for your death simultaneously. Don’t try to understand it. You never will unless I suppose you have a son and even still, you want your son to grow up to be happy and loved, right?

Just accept that most likely, you will have to nail yourself to a cross in order for her to see how badly her behavior can sometimes make you suffer. Chances of you doing that are zero, so just realize she won’t change and instead do your best to painstakingly please this woman in order to survive being her “family.”

Read More: How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

She Hates You,

Laura

Why He’s Not Leaving His Wife. Why She’s Not Leaving Her Husband.

In divorce, marriage on November 7, 2016 at 1:26 am

He’s not leaving because he doesn’t want to. She’s not leaving because married life is easier.

We all know someone, are friends with someone or dated someone who is in a constant state of “separation” — or worse, on and off with his or her husband or wife.

I had a guy friend who constantly complained about his wife. Divorce threats came out of his mouth like his life depended on it. He “dated” people, wondered why his wife was mad and complained he had to leave her. But guess what? As time went on, nothing changed. He was still the same old hamster, stuck on his wheel.

Then, there was my female friend. The marriage was brutally awful and the plan was to leave him in five months. Then six months. Then seven months. The reasons why she hadn’t yet left him simply changed or got more complex.

Then, there are the numerous “separated guys” — and women too, I’m sure — you go out with, only to discover that they’re not divorced yet, or you knew they weren’t divorced but separated only to discover that their idea of separation doesn’t quite match yours.

Why? Why do people stay despite their pledges to leave?

When a man isn’t leaving his wife,  he complains about her non-stop, or you meet him online (or anywhere really) and he says they’re separated.

What does that mean? Maybe they live separately. Maybe you discover they’re “living together” until he can figure things out or any other number of legit or non-legit reasons. Maybe they’re talking to lawyers.

Read More: Why He’s Not Leaving His Wife. Why She’s Not Leaving Her Husband.

Don’t Believe the Hype,

Laura

10 Myths, Pros and Cons of Being a Breadwinning Mom

In career, marriage, motherhood on October 24, 2016 at 1:56 am

Did you know that breadwinning moms make up some 40 percent of all U.S. households’ major (or equal with partner) earners? That’s according to a 2013 Pew study, and we hear that the number has risen since then. Yep—that’s a lot of us working moms!

Even so, there are myths and stereotypes that still surround breadwinning moms, like these:
She emasculates her husband with her success.
She’s too concerned with her career.
She’s bound for divorce with her success.

But beyond these less-than-flattering and less-than-truthful attributions are the positives that we know, like the fact that commanding a good salary and supporting your family is a wonderful and empowering scenario. The reality is that today there are many pluses to being a breadwinning mom that go beyond making the sole or larger paycheck—in or a marriage or not.

Here, a family and relationship expert—and real-life breadwinning mom—helps us dismantle the falsehoods and promote the truths of this way of life.

1. Myth: A breadwinning mom’s success wrecks her marriage or relationship.

The idea that heterosexual breadwinning moms are ruining their relationships with their career/financial status is a modern-day myth, asserts Stephanie Coontz, author of the award-winning A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960sand director of research at the Council on Contemporary Families. “It used to be true that couples where a women earned more than her husband faced a higher risk of divorce. But for marriages formed in the 1990s and later, that is no longer true.” Take that, myth! But …

Read More: 10 Myths, Pros and Cons of Being a Breadwinning Mom

Times Are a Changin’

Laura

Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?

In marriage, marriage advice on August 6, 2016 at 2:08 am

Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?—I sort of feel like this is a loaded question. Asking if one single solitary act can save a marriage seems destined to fail from the get-go. The reality is there is no magic cure for an ailing marriage. And not only that, but also there is no one answer that suits all marriages. However with that said, counseling can do a great deal of things for an “on the rocks” marriage and the people involved in it.

It can most definitely:

  • Help both parties deal with their issues on an individual basis. It’s not unusual for a couple to go to therapy together in couples’ therapy, and then see the same counselor or another separate counselor, on their own as individuals
  • Create a dialogue about what issues exist in the marriage and if the two parties feel they are resolvable or not
  • Assist a person in deciding, once the problems are “on the table” if he or she wants to work hard to save the marriage

Yes. That’s right. Work hard to save the marriage.

Read More:  Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?

You Both Have to Want It,

Laura