Let’s Talk About Male Privilege

While I recognize that men share their hardships and trials in life…and I know that in constructing ideas about female identity (did I lose everyone? I hope not) that this in turn shapes ideas and “laws” about male identity, there are some great male privileges that I always wish I had freely, and no, I’m not talking about walking around shirtless. Sorry, dudes.

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Are you a newly-engaged man? Don’t run away yet

All people seem to care about are the females when it comes to the idea of wedding chimes.

“Oh the bride-to-be’s ring is so amazing!”

‘What dress will you wear?”

“When is the date?”

“Are you having a big wedding…or a small wedding?”

Yet no one gives two flying  you know what’s  about the dudes. You’re about to undergo a big life change too, but unless you plan on wearing a dress or throwing a fit over flower arrangements, no one will make a reality show about the husband-to-be.

Here’s a little sweet advice from your favorite spunky and fresh-mouthed blonde, me.

Read my article here.

And then, because you want to please me, you will follow me here at Facebook.

That’s an order, not a question. 🙂

One woman who gives new meaning to the words ball and chain,

Laura

If he isn’t chasing you, he doesn’t want you: Men 101

This is going to be one of my most useful, but fastest blogs to write to date.

If a man isn’t chasing you, he doesn’t want you.

If you are married or dating and he doesn’t actively want to have sex with you, he doesn’t want you.

Don’t give things up to a man too easily, unless of course, you just want something for the night, or he’s your husband and you’d like him to listen to you–for once.

Men like the chase. Whether you believe in evolution or not, (I do) men like to work hard to attain something. It makes them feel special, as if they’re on top of the food chain.

Oh wait, eek! Here comes a bear bitch. Continue reading

What Single Men Should Do On Valentine’s Day

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If cupid hasn’t struck you yet, don’t despair. You’re probably better off in fact.

While most guys could probably give two f@*ks about Valentine’s Day, I still have some amazing suggestions on how to celebrate in style whether you’re a player, an emo-depressive, or a guy’s guy. Read my suggestions for men of all creeds here in Male Standard.

If you’re a good boy or girl, might you find me on Facebook and be my friend. I’m feeling lonely. Don’t leave me hanging. What do I need to do to convince all of you to find me? Maybe I will have to post ridiculous photos of myself.

Or not.

By the way, in case you think I’m disloyal, I will soon have a post for my single ladies.

Love to you all, and if Cupid strikes you with his arrow, I hope he/she is hot, ready-to-go, and intelligent enough to have a decent conversation.

Shot to the heart,

Laura

Guys Want Sex on Valentine’s Day: Pamper the Guys this Valentine’s 2014

Valentine’s Day is notoriously marketed for women. And yes, I know it’s a Halmark holiday, but it exists, and if you’re a part of a couple, fling, or marriage, if you haven’t decided to nix Valentine’s Day celebrations from your pairing, expect that there might be some “expectations” for February 14th. And let me tell you, ladies hate for our expectations to be let down, but that doesn’t mean that on this day of roses, chocolates, and marriage proposals it’s just about us.

Men have needs too. In fact, your man might share these needs with you more than you’d like, but in case you weren’t listening, or you have never considered what a guy might want for Valentine’s Day, I’ve offered my suggestions on how to make your best man feel like a King here in Male Standard. Please read my article and share!

With that said, I hope men all over thank me for my good deed and pay me by following my blog, my Facebook or Twitter page, sharing this post, or by sending me chocolates and other toys.

Remember people, without sex and love, we’d be beating the crap out of each other and lonely.

Fighting the good fight,

Laura

I Won’t Let a Man Abuse a Woman in Front of Me: Tales From The Bus

A few years back, there I was on the bus back into the city from my parent’s home in New Jersey. I was in my first year at Columbia, and diving head first into amazing classes on writing and psychology, as well as a few feminist courses. I was in my finest day: I love academics. Nothing makes me happier than a huge novel to read and write about.

Call me a loser, or just someone who doesn’t get enough action?

Or maybe you’re a lit-whore like myself. Welcome to the tribe jedi.

Anywhoo, there I was, just sitting in my seat, getting ready to study on the hour and a half ride when I heard him.

I heard a male voice berating the woman next to him. Continue reading

5 Reasons Why Your Husband Is Not Interested In Sex

I know that this sounds like a total lie, but some men won’t bang their wives.You may be laughing right now, but it is indeed, true.

Do some googling. Male sex drive isn’t as “golden” and high-geared as the rumor mill would like you to believe. Here are some reasons why your husband may not be banging you.

Note: I’m not a therapist, so don’t think of my word as “bond” to quote old-school 80’s hip-hop, but think of my word as a guide for “next steps,” mainly, buying a vibrator and possibly hiring a private investigator. Continue reading

5 Reasons Why Your Wife Is Not Interested In Sex

I find it funny. Most of the people who complain about not getting laid, are men. This doesn’t mean that some of my women friends or myself haven’t shared this complaint, but it does seem to be tossed around by the menfolk quite a lot.

Here are some potential reasons why your wife or girlfriend may not want to bang you. Note: I didn’t conduct any scientific polls or ask your wives in particular, so if any of these points shoot to close to home, don’t kill the messenger. Or your wife. Continue reading

How to Gift Your Guy This Holiday: Hint, Ditch the Socks

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Guys don’t want socks, ties, or sweaters for Christmas. They want gadgets, gear, beer, and sex instead.

If you can’t afford to buy him anything, just stand naked under the tree with a candy cane in your mouth. That should work, unless of course, you happen to be his mother.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, these gifts are still rad for your guy for any celebration, big or small.

Please read my article here and share.

I promise to be a good girl.

I’ll go write that 1,000 times and hope it works.

XO

Laura