When a Night Out Isn’t Just a Night Out: Life During COVID-19

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It’s amazing how quickly we adapt to a new way of living. I almost can’t remember a time before this pandemic. As an extrovert, being isolated or relatively isolated has been challenging. I really enjoy working from home as I am very organized and good at time management, so it works for me, but I miss seeing my friends. I miss having normalcy for my daughter especially, as well.

But it’s almost as if this is the way it’s been for a year or more— not just five months.
Wearing a mask that matches your outfit sort of makes sense now. I haven’t really had a use for masks other than the quick trip to the drive thru or at the beach boardwalk, but I started to realize that if I’m going to need masks, I might as well make them cute.

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Tonight was the first night in a long time that I got to enjoy dinner out. It wasn’t crowded, I was masked and I felt comfortable. I was worried it would be too mobbed but since it was a weekday evening, I made out well.

I came home happy. It had been such a long time since I got to enjoy a meal and socialize. I realize that this pandemic has been harder on me than I thought. A lot harder. The isolation has been intense. I miss my family and sadly, I can’t see them as my parents are high-risk. Worse, someone I love has dementia, and I could be missing out on the last precious moments of this person’s cognizance thanks to COVID-19.

This is how it is though— for now. I decided to stop looking to the future and instead, focus on the day. Yes, much like the alcoholic’s anonymous credo, (and nope, I’m not a drinker and never was—- I’m a two drink date!) I’ve decided to focus on one day at a time. And for today, it felt a bit like old times, albeit in a very pretty tie-dye mask. I’m willing to bet Barbie would wear my very outfit and mask.

Hugs to All Of You Alone and Lonely,

Laura

3 Reasons It’s Great to Get Away After Being Hurt By Someone You Trusted

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https://unsplash.com/@khachiksimonian

It is rare that I get a moment to myself. In truth, when I’m not with my daughter, ( who I’m basically with 24.7) I miss her terribly. It’s so weird being without her!

I got a few days to myself and so, on the spur on the moment, I decided to get somewhere to stay overnight for a night. Nowhere fancy at all because mama’s on a budget, but just somewhere close to the beach.
Normally I’d never make a plan like that, but I had a really bad week. Someone really hurt my feelings and it seems like things have just been difficult no matter what I do,  so I decided to pack some books and just find a place to lay my head at the end of the night. With it being Covid, I won’t go anywhere minus to pick up food or eat dinner and lunch  outside or hang far away from others by the beach.  I follow the rules.

Here are 3 reasons to go away after someone has hurt you or done you wrong … or heck, even if you’re just in a bad mood:

Change of Scenery May Cheer You Up

Sometimes a new location can help you snap out of a funk or bad mood.  It’s also a great distraction! Sunshine tends to help me when I’m upset, so being away for one day should hopefully boost my Covid and “dealing with someone’s hurtful choices“ bad mood.

Some Quiet Time May Help You Think

Getting away can help you find time to think and reflect. I’m personally hoping to do some deep thinking and make some big decisions in my mind while I’m taking my quiet time.

Doing Something Nice For You Can Boost Your Spirits

Going away or taking a day trip can be a great way to treat yourself and cheer yourself up.
I know after dealing with disappointment after disappointment, I could use a pick me up.

Find a Quiet Spot,

LL

 

 

 

3 Ways Your Depression Could Turn Dangerous

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https://unsplash.com/@seanbenesh

Depression during the pandemic is common, but a simple depression could turn dangerous during the pandemic for a few reasons:

Someone Hurts You or Treats You Badly

If a boyfriend or girlfriend or friend or an ex treats you badly during this pandemic when you’re already down, it could be a real serious issue. No one needs to feel like crap, be dumped or treated badly/ taken advantage of when they’re dealing with a pandemic and depression! Only a heartless jerk would do that.

 

Losing Family Support or Having Little Access to Support

If you’re already sad and depressed, having little support or losing the support you do have can be detrimental during a pandemic. It could make the depression go deeper and be more intense.

 

Being Alone and Feeling Isolated

If you’re alone too much or isolated often, it can exacerbate an already festering and intense depression. Being alone could be a real disaster if you’re struggling.

Be Careful,

Laura

 

Why You’re Avoiding the ONE Thing You Really Need

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Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

The one thing I really, really, really needed to do was meditation.

Not just here and there, but daily. I needed it to help me with anxiety and channel my focus. While I am a disciplined and focused person, I am an anxious person– and time and again, it would be suggested to me to try meditation.

I resisted. And resisted. The few times I had tried it before, it felt like torture. Two minutes felt like two thousand.

Besides, I already worked out, danced and tried to take some “me” time to unwind. Wasn’t that enough?

No. It wasn’t.

So I did something different for a change:

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7 Things You REALLY Need During the Covid-19 Outbreak

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Like most of us, you are probably at home and social distancing. My kid and I are on week 3 and as time has gone on, we’ve gotten into a “new normal” as we work and learn from home.

I myself vacillate between feeling good and cared for, to scared, alone and overcome with fear. I’ve done my best to battle those bad feelings with exercise, fresh air, music, and FaceTime with loved ones.

For me, it has really taught me a lot about myself:

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Is Your Life Full of Meaningful People & Purpose?

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We all have a reason and purpose for being here, although some may argue that there is no purpose at all other than existing. But in my opinion, I believe we all have a path to carve as we are here on Earth.

We all have people, things and activities that propel us to wake up every day. Inside of all of us, is a light. Some of us are able to harness that light and shine it to others well, and some people, not at all. Maybe that person is not “well.” Maybe that person is depressed or traumatized. Whatever the case, we all want to shine that light, whether we feel able to or not. And at different times in our lives, we may be able to focus that light and share it with others whereas in other times, we may feel dark and dim.

I know that I personally feel my absolute brightest, when I am able to give love to others and feel needed and wanted in return. I feel lit from within as well, when I am creative, whether through writing or dance. Singing. Working together on an idea.

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10 Life Lessons I Learned From Being Disappointed

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Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash

This week I had a few people disappoint me.

Plus, it was one of the hardest weeks I have had in the past few months. It was the last thing I needed– to be disappointed. Actually, does anyone ever need to be disappointed? No, but this week I just felt I took a real beating. Every day I had like 5-10 challenges. I’ve been trying to be mindfully positive each day as a resolution, and let me tell you this week put me to the test.

So, I’m sitting here and trying to think about some of the life lessons and positive spins I learned from being disappointed– and from this crappy week in general– as a positive take on the whole past seven days. Hopefully it can help someone else going through a rough day or week or, who’s dealing with disappointment.

Everyone makes mistakes, so maybe the person you disappointed still tried his/her best

The person may have had good intentions but perhaps that didn’t come across. No one is perfect. Maybe the person felt he or she was doing the best possible thing for you, even if it wasn’t what you needed.

Being disappointed sometimes shows you who values you and who doesn’t

Someone who values you will try hard to be there for you. Someone who doesn’t is bound to let you down. At least you know now that the person doesn’t care or value you.

Now you know the person lacks feelings and care for you.

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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6 Ways to Hide You’re Hurting When You Can’t Be Real

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Photo by Sami Hobbs on Unsplash

It’s not easy keeping it together if you are feeling depressed or going through some serious life stuff. A biggest part of the challenge is hiding it.

Sure, maybe you have people you can come clean with, but for the most part, adult life is going through the motions without showing the “emotions”– unless you trust someone and let your guard down. I’m not saying you should fake it and not get help. If you are depressed, you should get help. But what I am saying, is sometimes you have to keep it together when you’re out in public or in a situation that demands privacy.

Here are some tips for keeping cool when really, you need a hug and a break.

1. Steer conversations towards other people

Avoid questions and have the person talk about him or herself. Most people like to do that!

2. Take time outs

Take a mental health day. Go for a walk. Hide out for a while and work in a different location in the office.

3. Say, “I’d rather not…”

Discuss it. When people ask if you are upset, you can decline talking– and find someone you trust to vent to.

4. Take a drive and cry

If your kids can’t see you cry or you just need to let it out, blast some music and cry a bit. Just watch the road.

5. Can say you’re fine

Not ready to talk to someone about your hurt feelings? Say you’re fine and wait for a time when you’re more composed.

6. Exercise, meditate or dance

Move. Move and mooove. Put your sadness or stress into the motions.

 

Chin up– hang tight– and hope for the best,

Laura

 

 

9 Signs of Serious Depression at the Holidays

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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Suicide Prevention Month is technically September but with the holidays rolling around, I thought it might be helpful to talk about it now. Many people feel alone, worthless and stressed at this time of year.

It’s not unusual for people to hit a rock bottom during this time of year. Unfortunately, I have known a few people (mostly from a distance) that took a turn for the worse right around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So, I figured I might compile a list of some symptoms of serious depression so you can all keep an eye on your loved ones or yourselves if needed. A person very close to me lost someone she loved to suicide and it was and is, an unending wound. Hug your loved ones tightly this season and be the supportive ear that person might need!

9 Signs of Serious Depression– Especially at the Holidays

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