Category: mental health

How to Stop The Cycle of Negativity

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It’s very hard to break the cycle of negativity … especially if you don’t even realize you’re in it. When we get in a funk or feel hopeless, the thoughts tend to generate so rapidly that it can be a slippery situation to get out of. Suddenly, everything looks really bleak and one bad thing just proceeds to the next. Stepping out of that dark cloud could feel impossible.

But, we all feel negative, sad or dark at times. This is part of our humanity and normal.

Peter J. Economou, Ph.D., ABPP- Board Certified Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy, also known as Dr. Pete, shares that “Research tells us that most of us have negative thoughts— in fact, the majority of our thoughts are negative, so working on accepting them helps people develop a healthier relationship with these thoughts so that they don’t impact the behavior. I like to think of those negative thoughts as passengers on the bus, rather than the bus driver. So, how do we accept these thoughts and cycles, while committing to healthier and more peaceful living? That is key.”

Read More: How to Stop The Cycle of Negativity

Positivity Is Contagious,

Laura

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7 Mental Getaways to Take This Summer

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I’d love a real tropical vacation, complete with hot cabana boy and a lot of girly mixed drinks, but unfortunately, it’s not in my budget. I’m sure many of you can relate: you’re jonesing for a vacay, but your budget screams “Don’t even splurge on that mani-pedi for a few weeks.”

But this doesn’t mean that you can’t relish and delight in the relaxation that the summer heat screams. I know it’s not the same as an island or a European tour or Iceland cruise, but you can take these 7 mental vacations to really capitalize on the summer sunshine and get yourself (and your perspective) refreshed.

What It Might Mean If You’re Crying For No Reason

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There are many times when I’ve seen someone else, or have myself, burst into tears. Let’s just say pregnancy comes with a lot of teary showers for nine months. And then, postpartum? Those first few days after giving birth, I cried lots of happy, emotional, and exhausted tears.

Even if it may appear on the outside as if you have no reason to cry, we often internally know exactly why we’ve got major tears and are crying for no reason. Some cry when they get mad, and others cry when they’re PMSing. It’s not unusual to cry due to hormonal changes, and exhaustion can also make someone burst into tears. You name it, the list can roll on.

But I was curious to see what experts in the psychology field had to say about people who find themselves crying for no reason and burst into tears without explanation. Here’s what they had to say.

Read More: What It Might Mean If You’re Crying For No Reason

Wipe Those Tears,

Laura

I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

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Ever since I was little, I have always had a strong personality and Type A ways. Not extremely Type A, like ironing my curtains or heading up every PTO class, but Type A as in as a child, I secretly (and quietly in my head) hated when people put my toys back in the wrong spot and as an adult, I am very organized and rely on to-do lists, reminders and documents to keep me on track and progressing.

In my life, this has benefited me in many ways. I managed my life as a comedian and actress for a long time because of this. I excelled in college due to my personality traits. And as a single mom, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off with my guts, determination, organizational skills, and direction. This has helped me infinitely in terms of adjusting to life with just me and my little one.

Read More: I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Always Learning,

Laura

How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

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We can all look back and feel regret or pain over mistakes or choices we have made. No one is perfect. Life is a journey and on our journey, we take wrong turns and make bad moves. If we knew everything already, we most likely wouldn’t need to be here. We’ve all felt regret and wanted to kick ourselves over things we’ve done. This is normal.

When it becomes unhealthy is when we dwell, living in the fear of our mistakes lurking behind us like shadows. When we can’t forgive ourselves and move forward. When we continue to judge ourselves in the present and future for actions that are left in the past, that is unhealthy. We need to be able to wave goodbye to the choices of the past and move ahead towards the future without yoking ourselves too intimately to our pasts. As long as we are not repeating the same choices, why should we continue to beat ourselves up, sentencing ourselves to misery?

Read More: How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

Heal,

Laura

8 Ways Type A and Type B Personalities Express Anxiety Differently

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It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Type A, overachieving organizer or a Type B, laid back slacker — many people have to learn how to deal with anxiety. Even people you see as outgoing and “King or Queen of the World,” or those who are so laid back they couldn’t possibly stress a thing, can struggle when it comes to dealing with anxiety.

Sometimes, it’s easier to tell who’s anxious from who’s not, but an individual’s personality type can play into how anxiety presents itself to the outside world. Here are 8 unique ways in which a Type A personality and a Type B personality express anxiety differently.

Read More: 8 Ways Type A and Type B Personalities Express Anxiety Differently

Breathe Deep,

Laura

Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

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I found out through a text from a friend of mine that a high school bully of mine was dead: “Did you hear? She died. She went to our high school. It’s really sad.”

I didn’t say anything at first. Empathetic, warm-hearted me hesitated before answering. I didn’t want to sound like a total insensitive jerk. I knew my friend knew this old bully of mine but I wasn’t sure how friendly they had been, especially after years of trying to learn how to deal with bullies and protect myself. Plus, some of my thoughts didn’t align with who I am inside — a good person with a big heart.

But even good people with big hearts can decide they’ve had enough of toxic people’s garbage, especially when it comes to the past and bullying in schools. They don’t want to forgive someone all that easily when they’ve been done completely wrong.

Read More: Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

Forgive & Heal,

Laura

5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

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New Year, new you?

Well, not if you do the same old stuff you did last year. And so many of us, seem to make the same mistakes repeatedly simply because certain behaviors that were learned or perhaps genetic, have become a habit.

But that doesn’t have to be you. A new year is a shiny new shot at rewriting your story. Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventures” books? If you turned to page 25, you might end up trapped. If you turned to page 50, you might end up a wealthy tycoon … or something like that.

Consider this New Year a chance to “choose your own adventure” by rewriting yourself. Take an honest look at yourself and what worked and what didn’t work for you in 2018. Decide to avoid those pesky traps by shedding old behaviors and replacing them with better attitudes and habits that will bring you joy in 2019. You can’t change every single aspect of yourself or your life, but you can turn the wheel in another direction, or head to page 50 instead of page 25 to change your life this coming year.
Here are a few behaviors to kiss goodbye to and leave in the past as you head into the future on January 1, 2019 …

Read More: 5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

Happy New Year!

Laura

4 Key Ways to Identify Your Doormat Behavior

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In the world of female relationships from day one, being nice is stressed; we are told that we should be a good, nice girl … not a bad girl.

Of course, we want our children to be kind. Of course, we want to be kind ourselves. To be good people.

But sometimes, being “nice” is really just a prettier way of framing the fact that you might be a doormat. That you might let others frequently walk, run and fly all over you.

I hear it from women frequently.

“I’m trying to be nice.”

Or, “I felt I needed to be nice.”

And when women say these things, it’s often in a situation where they shouldn’t be nice! Where they shouldn’t just suck it up and deal.

So, how do you know if you’re being kind and respectful, or if you’re being a complete doormat? Because being nice isn’t always the best thing. Sometimes, having a backbone and being tough is the best course of action. All too often, women are dissuaded from being tough, or even tormented for being “bitchy” when really, a woman might just be standing up for herself.

Read More: 4 Key Ways to Identify Your Doormat Behavior

Standing Up For Yourself Is The New Black,

Laura

5 Ways Giving Up Can Be A Sign of Strength

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One of the first things we tell our children is to “not give up!” So, we hold the same value for ourselves: giving up is a sign of weakness and persisting is a sign of strength and character.

Overall that is a true statement: Persisting and believing in our dreams and goals are positive ways to be! However, sometimes persisting on and on is actually a bad thing. Sometimes, giving up is a sign of strength and an acknowledgment that something you are doing or “persisting at” is not healthy or helpful for you. Throwing in the towel can require more strength sometimes, than to keep on the same path that you’ve been treading forever.

  1. GIVING UP REQUIRES THE STRENGTH WHEN YOU KNOW THE UNRAVELING WON’T BE EASY

     

    Maybe it’s getting a divorce. Maybe it’s leaving your job and finding something new. Maybe it’s cutting off a bad familial relationship. Whatever the case, sometimes giving up is harder and requires more mental strength simply because we know that while giving up the situation is best for us, it will be a tough path to get to where we need to be. For example, with divorce, we know the end result is best for us and our children, but just knowing how tough the process can be getting to that happy new place, is hard to face. So, when you are giving up on something that perhaps you once put a lot of effort and love into, like a marriage, remind yourself that you are not weak: giving up requires strength.

Read More: 5 Ways Giving Up Can Be A Sign of Strength

Let go,

Laura