6 Things I Want My Daughter to Remember About Me, Even After I’m Gone

We always want our children to think the best of us — just as much as they want us to think the best of them. Have you ever sat down and thought about what exactly you want your kids to remember most about you when it’s all said and done? The reality is this — so much of how we are can become how our children are. They absorb so much of us, from our behaviors and habits to our likes and dislikes, even when we don’t realize they’re watching and listening.

As a single mom raising an only child, I really feel the weight of all I do. Worrying about caring for her and having the entire financial burden on my shoulders sometimes makes me think I’m going to break, but I don’t. I keep carrying on and doing my thing. And that’s just one of the things I want her to remember about me: that I never give up, no matter how hard life gets. I take the punches like a big girl, and I dish it right back, fighting and appreciating the little things in life.

Here are the six big things I want my daughter to always remember about me.

Read More: 6 Things I Want My Daughter to Remember About Me, Even After I’m Gone

Love Is Never-Ending,

Laura

Advertisements

8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

Don’t you love how people are utterly offended and horrified by the fact that your kid is an only child? I mean, what could possibly be worse than not having a sibling?

Because having siblings is always easy. Your brother is never publicly intoxicated and your sister is completely normal, sane and never yanked your hair like she was pulling weeds, right? Siblings always get along, too! I mean everyone knows that!

Yeah, what sort of demon leaves his or her child to be a lone soul in the world without a sibling around to kick that kid’s ass?

Apparently, having an only child makes other parents consider us parents of only kids, slackers. It’s like we’re all competing in this major parenting Olympics and if you only have one kid, you’re cheating at life and therefore, getting by way too damn easy.

Read More: 8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

None of Their Beeswax,

Laura

What You Thought Motherhood Would Be Like vs. What It’s Actually Like

The funniest thing in the world just might be someone without kids sharing their “wisdom” on how they will be upon becoming a parent. It’s amazing how awesome and well-behaved both you and your kids are in your own little fantasy world of how you’ll parent when you’re not actually a parent, isn’t it?

You think motherhood is going to be one way and that you’ll always get big fat A-pluses on all your motherhood “assignments,” but then reality gives you a beat down like nobody’s business.

BIRTH

Expectation:

You thought you’d go all natural with childbirth.

Reality:

Meanwhile, that birth hurt like a mutha and the anesthesiologist became your BFF. Epidurals FTW.

Read More: What You Thought Motherhood Would Be Like vs. What It’s Actually Like

Reality is a B*tch,

Laura

25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I might share some things that people—family, friends, spouses, etc.—could do to actually make a working mom’s life easier and more bearable.

People offer help. They mean well. But let’s be honest: Working moms often end up doing everything by ourselves anyway. So instead of gifts (which are lovely and we’ll take them, thank you), try one of the suggestions below to make Mother’s Day really magical for the bone-weary working mom in your life. You can even take it to the next level and implement these year-round …

1. Spend time with us in low-key ways. We’re busy, but we promise we want to see you.

Read More: 25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

Happy Mother’s Day!

Laura

Hard Truths About Motherhood (And Yet, It’s All Still Worth It)

Motherhood is a wonderful privilege but sometimes, it’s also a gritty and thankless job. No one tells you that when you’re pregnant and expecting though. If you did tell an expectant mom that bit of truth, you’d be acting like a party pooper, or a ball buster… and that’s not a good way to be around a hormonal pregnant lady. Unless you feel like getting your eyes stabbed with a fork… a fork dripping with chocolate cake or some other pregnancy craving.

Wink.

The truth is if parenting were easy, we’d all have fifty million children. We’d all be little reproductive machines, but parenting isn’t a walk in the park. Motherhood is beautiful and also a hot mess. But that’s okay because it’s still really worth it.

Yes—even when your child draws on your walls, pukes on you, or slams the door in your face in some teenage rage—it’s still worth it.

1. GET PAID IN PUKE & BOOGERS… WITH NO AWARDS

Here’s a dose of reality for you: you’ll never receive “The Best Mom of the Year” Award because there are no awards ceremonies for moms. At least not official ones.

Read More: Hard Truths About Motherhood (And Yet, It’s All Still Worth It)

Really– It’s Worth it!

Laura

7 Types of Moms You’ll Meet in Mom Group

You’ve just had a baby or, finally, you’re deciding to mingle with mommies no matter how old your child is. So you decide to join a mom group. Because where else can you meet a large group of women in one shot who most likely have kids your age, live near you and are experiencing some of the same things you are as a mom?

Truly, joining a mom’s group when my daughter was a wee babe was a great way to get my nursing, post-C section butt out of the door and among other adult humans. It was a great experience for me that I cherish. But still, I’ve come to learn that in every mom’s group on earth, you are bound to meet these mommy types.

1. The Organic Band-Aid Mom

This mom wouldn’t put a drop of anything on her kid without guaranteeing that it was made from something organic and completely GMO-free, even if it meant losing her house to buy that most expensive and rare diaper cream made from only the purest of the purest (insert ingredient no one has ever heard about yet).

She’ll frown at your choice of just about everything and she’ll narrow her eyes upon hearing you used bug spray on your kid last year. She might even worry about your own personal grooming and health choices to such a degree that you can be guaranteed she’ll be emailing you “suggestions,” most of which you won’t be able to afford unless you get your baby or toddler to work in a third world sweatshop.

Read More: 7 Types of Moms You’ll Meet in Mom Group

No Organic Band-Aids Here…

Laura

7 Reasons You Should Give Zero F*cks If Your Kid Isn’t Potty Trained Yet

So your kid isn’t potty trained yet? To hell with you! What kind of mother are you anyway?

Kidding.

Really, everyone learns to use the bathroom in his or her own time and we all know there are some adults that still “miss” the toilet, so is this really a tragedy? Does it really matter if your kid pees in a pull-up or in the super special Star Wars undies you bought for them? The answer to all these is a resounding NO.

Here are just seven reasons you should care less if your kid still isn’t potty-trained:

1. They Won’t Wear a Diaper to the Prom

Eventually, your child will get it. He won’t be begging you to change his diaper or wipe his butt as he rides off with a girl who looks older than you and like she might have an R-rated Instagram account.

2. Underwear Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Really. Have you ever had your kid complain about a wedgie? Diapers are comfy, cushy and soft. Underwear rides up butts. You’ll just love when your kid pulls at their undies in public and another human laughs at your child—or worse—your kid insists these are the “worst underwear” ever.

Yes, that is an ACTUAL thing that children do to their parents in order to torture them. My daughter constantly tells me her undies are too tight or too loose. Meanwhile, they look perfectly fine to me. Argh!

Read More: 7 Reasons You Should Give Zero F*cks If Your Kid Isn’t Potty Trained Yet

Chillax,

Laura

5 Ways Sex Makes You a Better Mom and Employee

Listen up, girlfriends: All those times you’ve been saying you’ve got a headache is secretly jeopardizing your home and employment life. Having more sex makes you a better employee—and mother! No, really. The more times you hop in the sack, the more likely you are to hit a home run at work and with the kiddos. Here’s why:

1. You’ll Get Better Sleep

Having sex helps you get better sleep—something we could all use. As you bond with your partner, your body secretes the hormone oxytocin, often called “the love hormone.” That’s also the same hormone responsible for bonding with your baby, especially when nursing. Thanks to oxytocin, your body will be more relaxed, so you’ll be less stressed, leading to better sleep for you, mama.

And with better sleep comes a brighter morning handling a bunch of kids before running off to work and kicking serious butt in the office. So say yes next time your significant other wants to get frisky. Maybe you’ll get a raise, too!

 

Read More: 5 Ways Sex Makes You a Better Mom and Employee

Do It Tonight,

Laura

8 Ways to Justify Living in Your Yoga Pants

Yoga pants.

Some might say it’s the staple item of male excitement.

Some might say it’s the staple item of female fitness.

The majority of moms would say it’s the wardrobe necessity of choice.

Actually, make that THE wardrobe, period.

For all the teasing a mom’s partner will give her about her varied outfits of black yoga pants, black yoga pants, and black yoga pants, these partners don’t understand the pure vitality and life comfort a pair of yoga pants brings. The pure sight of clean yoga pants in a mother’s burgeoning clean laundry pile of is a sight almost as welcome as a child silently sleeping.

Almost.

So ladies, don’t let people’s negativity around your yoga pants ruin a perfectly great relationship. Think about it, is there any other relationship in which you receive such ease and comfort? Is there any other relationship in which you receive no stress or aggravation? Nope! Even your family cat or dog can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

So screw the haters, here are just eight reasons to justify all that yoga pant wearing (not that we need reasons…):

Read More: 8 Ways to Justify Living in Your Yoga Pants

DO IT!

Laura

11 Awesome Things From Our Childhood That Our Kids Will Never Get To Do

Every generation of kids thinks they have it better/worse/easier or harder than the previous, but in my opinion, it’s not that easy to compare a whole generation of time and being to another. However, there are some awesome things that I got to do as a kid that my daughter will most likely never experience, and quite frankly, that stinks—for her!

1. Making Prank Calls

I’m not sorry in admitting I loved prank calling people. I was damn good at it, and it continued all the way up through college.

But with smartphone technology, sure you can block a number, but it’s much easier to get caught. And besides, kids today can tweet, Snapchat and Facebook each other a bunch of nonsense under fake profiles.

Still, there’s nothing quite like the thrill of live prank calling.

2. Playing MASH

Our kids will never know how awesome it is to discover your entire future on a piece of paper.

Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House.

Single. Married. Divorce.

How many kids you had.

Read More: 11 Awesome Things From Our Childhood That Our Kids Will Never Get To Do

I Was Promised a Mansion,

Laura