What to Do When Someone Won’t Commit

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Photo by Nadia Jamnik on Unsplash

The other day, a friend was asking me for advice. He wanted to know what to do next.

Yup, male friends often turn to their female friends in these situations.

Someone he had been seeing and dating for a while had told him she didn’t want to further the relationship. They were really close and things were clicking … but then she said that while she really liked him, she wanted to be alone and stay away from committing or getting involved with him. He, heartbroken and looking to me for some solace, wants to be with her and told her he would be patient, but realized that there was nothing left he could do. He had tried so hard and was really great to her, but her position was firm: she wanted to be selfish at this point in her life, and as great as he is– it didn’t matter to her, sadly.  He knew the only thing he could do would be to move forward.

“What next?” he said.

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10 Life Lessons I Learned From Being Disappointed

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Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash

This week I had a few people disappoint me.

Plus, it was one of the hardest weeks I have had in the past few months. It was the last thing I needed– to be disappointed. Actually, does anyone ever need to be disappointed? No, but this week I just felt I took a real beating. Every day I had like 5-10 challenges. I’ve been trying to be mindfully positive each day as a resolution, and let me tell you this week put me to the test.

So, I’m sitting here and trying to think about some of the life lessons and positive spins I learned from being disappointed– and from this crappy week in general– as a positive take on the whole past seven days. Hopefully it can help someone else going through a rough day or week or, who’s dealing with disappointment.

Everyone makes mistakes, so maybe the person you disappointed still tried his/her best

The person may have had good intentions but perhaps that didn’t come across. No one is perfect. Maybe the person felt he or she was doing the best possible thing for you, even if it wasn’t what you needed.

Being disappointed sometimes shows you who values you and who doesn’t

Someone who values you will try hard to be there for you. Someone who doesn’t is bound to let you down. At least you know now that the person doesn’t care or value you.

Now you know the person lacks feelings and care for you.

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You Had a Great Date & The Person Flaked Afterwards– What Happened?

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Photo by Davids Kokainis on Unsplash

Had an amazing date and then–screech– he/she retreated or has been flaky?

It can leave you scratching your head wondering what the heck just happened.

Of course, most likely it has nothing to do with you! So that’s one positive thing.

I mean, if you had a great amazing date and the person then acts weird– most likely, he or she is weird, and not you.

Here are potential reasons you’re not getting asked out again after a wonderful date:

The person is seeing someone else

The person may have feelings for someone else or may be seeing other people.

If the person wasn’t honest with you about that– that can suck– but it’s his or her fault … not yours!

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5 Reasons Your Friend, Love Interest or Partner Is Flaky

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Some people are flaky by nature.  They leave everyone sitting around, waiting and waiting and waiting …

Their personalities make them go from person to person, or thing to thing without seeing anything through. They never settle down with anyone and their hobbies change by the minute. This type of individual doesn’t necessarily mean any harm. They just (I guess) go by the seat of his or her pants until boredom hits, and then a change is needed.

But, if you are often or are hurt by someone’s flakiness, this can be incredibly frustrating.

Here are 5 reasons someone might be flaky and unreliable:

They May Be Stressed

We all can be flaky sometimes– especially if we are stressed and feeling like we’re being pulled in too many directions. This can lead to missed meet ups and phone calls.

The person might just be extremely stressed and having a hard time juggling things. He or she may be going through tough times. I know when I have hard times I can be forgetful or may need to retreat in and out of my social sphere to manage my feelings.

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If You Can Remember The Day You Met Someone Happily– It’s a Gift

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Photo by Jorge Gardner on Unsplash

In a world where attention spans are about 0.2 seconds long and everyone has an agenda, running into a stranger and sparking a connection is really rare.

What are the chances of you meeting someone at Target or the corner deli?

They’re low but still– possible.

Can you remember the day you met someone special still?

Do you recall every detail by heart? Do you remember how you felt when you saw that person’s face or heard that person’s voice for the first time?

If you answered yes–  that’s a gift.

It is so rare that we have these special moments and even more rare to find people that we have special connections with.

It’s a shame that so many of us take the people we love for granted. That so many people don’t appreciate all that we have.

If this is you (and it’s quite possible that it is) ask yourself the following things:

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Someone Who Cares Will ALWAYS Be There For You in These 5 Situations

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We all have times when we can’t be present for someone we love, but there are 5 situations where we should always be there for the person we care about, no matter what– unless we are sick or in an emergency situation.

Illness

My friend’s spouse was not there and present while my friend was sick with cancer.

To me, that’s unacceptable. If you care about someone, you are there for him/her through illness and pain.

Death

If your loved one has lost someone he or she loves, you should be there for them, even if there has been a fight. Helping someone through the grieving process is an act of love.

Legal or Family Matters

These situations can be tough to navigate, and so the person you care about needs a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

Losing a Job

Losing a job is devastating and can be harder if the person was not expecting it or is financially unprepared for it. Being there for the person you care about will make the devastation not as bad.

Miscarriage, Infertility

Losing a child or realizing that having kids will either– a: not happen or b: be more difficult than someone had imagined is really hard.

If you care about the person, show up.

No matter what– show up for the person you care about.

To me, showing up is the greatest act of love someone can do for another person. We can’t solve our loved ones’ problems always or bring people back to life, but we can be there. That’s what matters most.

With Love To All Who Need It,

Laura

 

 

4 Signs You Are Unappreciated & It’s Affecting Your Emotions

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Do you ever feel as if the people around you– coworkers, lovers, family, friends, etc. don’t appreciate all you do? Especially the people who do less than you do while you’re out there being an awesome parent, or coworker or partner or friend?

You may not even realize that the frustration, sadness or just general annoyance you feel stems from feeling unappreciated– and nothing else.

When we put ourselves out there and don’t get either the support, feedback or love in return for all we do, it can take a toll on a person.

Consider the single parent who bears the load of two parents. Consider the coworker who is lifting the heavy load. Consider the friend who always calls the other. Consider the partner who always initiates contact– emotionally and physically.

If you are feeling sad, irritated, frustrated, mad or despondent, you may just feel unappreciated.

Here are 4 signs that the people in your life aren’t appreciating all you do– and it’s affecting your emotions:

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How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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Men Who Do These 6 Things Are Incredibly Sexy

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Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

Every person has his or her own language of love, but there are certain things that men do that women find attractive and sexy. Is it a universal rule that every woman will find these things irresistible? No, but there are many women who would agree that these actions or character traits are incredibly appealing. Read on and see just how irresistible (or not) you might be!

Surprising her– Spontaneity

Okay, some women want the outfit planned and everything timed to a T, however, there is something irresistible and so attractive when a man plans a surprise for us. It feels so thoughtful, romantic and fun to be surprised, whether it’s with a dinner, a visit, a trip away, a present– anything!

Releasing her from a burden– Helpful

A man she cares about know she’s stressed and needs to relax, so if he steps in to help take a burden off her shoulders or give her some extra love– this is very appealing.

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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