When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

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Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

What It’s Like When Someone Likes You, BUT Doesn’t Like You Enough

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Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

When I was in my twenties, I dated this guy who was very much my type, but also really flaky. Hot and cold, he wanted the relationship but didn’t want the relationship. I really liked him and wanted the relationship, but he would change his mind a lot. It was annoying.

I hit my breaking point one day as I was going to visit my family for the holidays from the city, where I was living. I was sad and tired. Sad of him being a flaky pain in my butt. Sad of feeling neglected and also, on his back and forth path. Enough was enough. I wanted off his space cadet tour.

I told him I was done, but happy to be friends.  I knew it wouldn’t be super easy to be friends, but I knew I would be happier and honestly, he had gotten on my nerves so much that I was at a point where I didn’t feel the same way about him.  I lost the attraction for the most part, too. Being his friend worked for me. A few months after I told him I was done, he tried holding my hand when we went to a movie. I looked at him like, “WTF,” and told him “Nope.”

He stuck to the friendship boundaries for the rest of the friendship, but, still occasionally veered off track by flirting inappropriately or saying how he wished he had given me a real chance. I avoided all that nonsense because to me, I had put him in the friend zone. I had had enough. He had had his chance. Laura was done. He had regrets– and me? I had none.

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3 Warning Signs That Your Guy/Gal Is Going to Hurt You 100%

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Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

Some people should come with warning signs on them, but unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. Even if it were, people would still probably go out with “dangerous” individuals.

I’ve met a lot of people in my time and have sat back and watched a lot the last few years.  I’ve learned that while some people are really good at hiding stuff, there are a lot of warning signs that a man or woman is going to hurt you– and good– if you just pay attention and be smart. Keeping your guard up until you know someone is a smart move. It doesn’t mean you give no one a chance– but it means you give people a chance and reciprocate slowly in kind to their hopeful positive actions.

So basically, in the meantime, keep an open mind but also, open eyes as you get to know others. They may reveal themselves before they want to if you pay attention. It’ll save you time so you don’t waste yours. Your time is precious!

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Is Your Love a 100 or a 0? Loving Actions Add Up!

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Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

This is a trying time for everyone, regardless of your class, ethnicity, marital status, etc.

So, under these trying times, is your partner or love interest taking time to be loving with positive actions? Are you taking time to be loving? Is your love interest available and considerate of your feelings?

Here are a few things that add up in a positive way. If your partner or love interest isn’t doing these things, he or she isn’t “adding” up to much.

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How to Be in The Moment Romantically & Sexually

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Overthinking and pushing can take you out of the moment when you’re with your partner, whether it’s a sexual or romantic moment.

Looking too hard into the future or overanalyzing things can take away from the pure joy and fun that romance and sex brings.

Here are 3 ways to avoid overthinking and help yourself stay in the moment in the bedroom or wherever you are, with your love interest:

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The Sexual & Romantic Relationship You Need During the Covid-19 Outbreak

henri-meilhac-QjPc0bQtSNw-unsplashPhoto by henri meilhac on Unsplash

While some parties are sheltering in place together and others are “dating” from a social distance, there is really only one kind of relationship– romantic and sexual– that we need at this time.

Fun Exciting Intimacy & Sex

This can happen whether face to face or from a distance (albeit you’ve got to be imaginative).

This isn’t the time to be dull, distant or worse, fighting over dumb stuff.

Let the small crap slide.

If you feel stressed and less “excited” at this time, that is understandable and I’ll get into that in my next point.

But, if you are ready and willing– be creative.

Experiment. Use your time wisely because you will never have this many hours to kill to do fun sexy things together. Take advantage of this time. Seize it!

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How Someone Treats You Is a Reflection of Who They Are

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Someone hurt my feelings a bit ago, and I found myself wondering what I had done to earn such behavior. When I dug deep, I realized I had done … nothing. When I spoke to a confidante about the matter, the person said plainly:

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this person’s self- view and own issues.

This is good advice.

How people treat us is often an indicator of how they view themselves and feel about themselves, more than anything.
Self- esteem and confidence. Past issues. These factor into many of our behaviors when we interact with others.

So, the next time someone hurts you remind yourself that this person’s actions are a reflection of how he/ she feels about him or herself. It has nothing to do with you.
Not to mention, your actions are in relation to how you feel about yourself.

All we can do is control our own actions. We can’t control if others hurt us or make bad choices. We can just choose how to respond and move forward.

Be Strong,

Laura

4 Gestures That Made For Great, Memorable Dates

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Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Not every date is worth talking about– but some are worth talking about and sharing for years to come– even if you’re not with the person still.
When you have a good date and then go out of your way to show someone that you are intrigued by them and want to know more, it really makes a memorable difference to that person. The little things or the big things we do can go such a long way.

If you had a great time with someone or think there’s a special connection, why not make some extra effort to share how excited you are about meeting this person and developing the relationship potentially further? At the very least by doing so, you’ll get an idea of how this person feels about getting to know you further as well!

Here are some of the most special small gestures I’ve received on dates or after dates, through the years, that really touched me and made me smile.

A Thoughtful Note

When someone expresses what a great time he or she had in words the day after a date– it goes a long way.

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Someone Who Really Loves You Will Never Let Go of You

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Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash

Someone who truly cherishes and desires you will never let go of you. He or she will never choose the other “green grass.” That person will never try to forcibly change you or dodge/avoid committing to you.

That person will want you as you are, and want to give him or herself to you completely.

This doesn’t mean this person will be perfect or constantly the epitome of a “perfect partner.”

What it means is this person will be imperfect, but true to you. This person will be flawed, but always, trying to have you near him or her. This person will work hard to be a better person because you inspire him or her to be better!

This person will inspire you to be better!

This person will not dilly-dally or risk losing you.

This person will come forth with all the good intentions you can imagine, trying to get a chance to be loved and known by you.

Not because the person is a crazy stalker– but because the person truly sees all you have to offer and wants so much to have you be a part of his or her life and story.

That person wants you to join him or her in this crazy dance called life. For the slow parts– the quick parts. The interlude. For every movement and tempo and every type of song, this person knows you are the music to which his or her heart beats and goes.

Without you, life is not the same.

You will meet someone who will want so much to dance next to you and be with you in this life.

Do not doubt it.

It’s a promise. Not an “If” but a “when.”

Dance On,

Laura

The Moment When You Decide You Are Going to Be Loved Exactly As You Want to Be

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We all hit a point in our lives when we decide– whether very early on or later on– that we have had enough and want more.

We all hit that point where we are ready to own our lives and make our dreams come true.

We all come to that point where we decide that we absolutely without a doubt, cannot settle.

No more settling. No more waiting around. No more hoping for things to work out.

No more allowing people who don’t love or value us to continue to have us for nothing.

We decide we are opening ourselves up to all good and amazing possibilities.

From here on out even if the water is rough, we are going full throttle into the deep and finding what we want.

We say “adios” and swim forward to the future.

We find someone who fully embraces us. Fully wants us and cherishes us. Someone who gives us his or her all– just as we do in return.

We open ourselves completely to love in a positive way, whether we are 20, 40, 60 or older. We choose to seek out someone who truly cannot imagine a day or time without us. We choose to seek out someone who really is in it for the long haul– no games or BS> We find someone who loves us as is, flaws and all.

We decide to love and be love– and to ask only and I mean only for the best from our partner.

We decide that taking less than what we deserve is no longer acceptable. It is no longer serving us well.

We decide that we deserve the happy ending– and the happy middle and all.

We choose the best for us because we know we are deserving.

Every single human on this Earth wants to be loved and feel special. All of us.

We all want to be cherished and desired. We want to be loved.

And there will come a day for all of us when we know what we want and we will do everything in our power to get that love we deserve– without hesitation.

With Love & Light,

Laura