Someone Who Deserves You

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https://unsplash.com/@chermitovee

Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

They’re Taking & You’re Giving: Stop Doing All The Work in the Relationship

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Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

If you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship, guess what?

You probably are!

Why should you do all the work, give and give and give, while someone else takes and does relatively little?

If this is you– doing all the heavy lifting to keep your relationship running– STOP.

Successful relationships require two people working together. If you’re the one offering yourself up all the time and killing yourself to keep it going while the other person makes zero to little effort, you’re doing it all wrong.

No one should be doing all the giving, loving, sweating and heavy work of the relationship alone.

No one should be taking whatever is given to him or her, while doing nothing or, not much at all.

There will always be times when your relationship will not be equal. One person will do more giving and the other, more taking, but this shouldn’t be a constant. If it is, stop giving and start demanding more of the person you are with. You deserve to take as much as you give.

Much Love,

Laura

Does The Person Really Like You For You?

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Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash

You’re seeing someone and starting to have feelings. Or, the feelings have already begun, but you don’t quite feel so comfortable or sure about how the other person feels.

Does she like you? Or just enjoy you? Does he care about you? Or is he just horny?

Is he really invested? Or are you just available and easy to hang out with? Is she developing feelings for you? Or is she just finding a Netflix date?

If The Person Does Things With You Outside of  a Bedroom Actively, It’s a Good Sign

Someone who is interested in you makes plans to do things with you. Hobbies. Bike rides. Walks. Workouts. Lunches. Game nights.  You name it.

Someone who only spends time with you on a couch or a bed? Yikes, this person doesn’t really like you for “you.”

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It’s Easy to Be Physical But Not So Easy to Love

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Anyone can have a fun physical connection with someone else. Anyone can buy a gift. Send a gift card. Anyone can have a quick cuddle fest or Netflix and “chill.”

But it’s not so easy to love. To be there for someone. To make them feel special. To really get to know them. To include the person in their daily life.

If you’re “seeing” someone and wondering where the relationship lies, just ask yourself these questions and you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to see how much you really matter to someone:

  1.  Is the person trying to get physical with you or getting physical with you, but hasn’t asked you on a date or included you in his/her hangouts with friends? If you answered yes, this person is taking the easy way out– and you don’t matter to him/her.
  2. Is the person available for you physically, but not emotionally? If this is a yes, this person isn’t invested in you beyond casual interactions.

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Someone Who Values You Vs. Someone Who Can’t Take You Out to Dinner

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One of the most important life lessons is to know how valuable you are. Because if you know you are valuable, you will never settle for anyone that makes you feel less then.
It’s taken me a lot longer than most people to realize I am a valuable and worthy person. I’m going to admit right off the bat that it’s very difficult for me sometimes to have any confidence and faith that I am really and truly deserving.

Because I have struggled, I have also learned the difference between somebody who values me and someone who doesn’t. So I’m hoping that sharing this will help others to not make the same mistakes I did. And if you have settled in the past or accepted  less than what you’re worth, don’t feel bad. You’re not alone and just know that every day is a new opportunity to try again and ask more of others and not settle.

 

Can’t Wait to See You Vs. Can’t Take You to Dinner

Oh yes. I’ve been there when the guy can’t even make an effort to take you out. When they have every excuse in the book. That’s not someone who values you. Someone who really values you can’t wait to see you. They’re  so excited and they look forward to getting to know you better.

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This Man or Woman Doesn’t Care, So Don’t Waste Your Time

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https://unsplash.com/@louishansel

Avoid these types of men or women or whatever gender, to date because otherwise, you will waste time on someone who never cared about you in the first place. From my own experiences to my friends’ experiences, be wise:

Avoid Dating Someone Who Wants to Change Your Views or Religion

Someone who is never happy with your views or ways of worship or spirituality is going to be tough down the line. It’s ok if the person wants you to open up a bit to his or her way of thinking, but not if the person is trying to change you. This will end up a total nightmare for you where you’ll never feel accepted and loved. You will always feel out of the loop and not validated.

Avoid Dating Someone Who Won’t Commit and Has a Load of Excuses Why

Don’t date the man or woman who won’t commit and yet, likes you enough to sleep with you sometimes or see you sometimes. Why? Because he or she will be around. SOMETIMES. On his or her terms and when that person feels up to it. They’ll say they care about you but then their words are never backed up. They will always disappoint you because they don’t care about you or want you enough to change. Guess who will be left crying? You and not them.  This person doesn’t care about you at all. If he can’t introduce you to friends or she won’t move the relationship forward, then that person is just messing with your heart and wasting time. You’re not good enough for them in their eyes, so move it along before you regret it.

Avoid Dating the Money Hungry or Demanding Who Doesn’t Appreciate Anything

Time and again I’ve seen friends suffer over the person who always wants more and is never happy. They feel like they don’t do enough yet it’s really the greedy person who is the problem. If someone is constantly demanding you do more and never happy with you, or constantly wants you to spend money— that person is impossible. Don’t bother!

Trust Me,

L

6 Things He/She Must Do If That Person Supposedly Cares About You

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

If someone cares about you, he or she puts the money where his or her mouth is.

There are just certain things they have to do, otherwise that person is not worth it, not reliable and a flake.

And these things by the way, are non-negotiable.

1. Asks You Out

Random hangouts or late night get togethers aren’t a sign that someone cares about you. It’s a sign that someone views you as convenient.

If someone cares about you, that person will ask you out and make a plan. No BS. No “Maybe we’ll do something.” That person just asks you out!

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When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

Photo by Mr Xerty on Unsplash

 

Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

What It’s Like When Someone Likes You, BUT Doesn’t Like You Enough

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Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

When I was in my twenties, I dated this guy who was very much my type, but also really flaky. Hot and cold, he wanted the relationship but didn’t want the relationship. I really liked him and wanted the relationship, but he would change his mind a lot. It was annoying.

I hit my breaking point one day as I was going to visit my family for the holidays from the city, where I was living. I was sad and tired. Sad of him being a flaky pain in my butt. Sad of feeling neglected and also, on his back and forth path. Enough was enough. I wanted off his space cadet tour.

I told him I was done, but happy to be friends.  I knew it wouldn’t be super easy to be friends, but I knew I would be happier and honestly, he had gotten on my nerves so much that I was at a point where I didn’t feel the same way about him.  I lost the attraction for the most part, too. Being his friend worked for me. A few months after I told him I was done, he tried holding my hand when we went to a movie. I looked at him like, “WTF,” and told him “Nope.”

He stuck to the friendship boundaries for the rest of the friendship, but, still occasionally veered off track by flirting inappropriately or saying how he wished he had given me a real chance. I avoided all that nonsense because to me, I had put him in the friend zone. I had had enough. He had had his chance. Laura was done. He had regrets– and me? I had none.

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3 Warning Signs That Your Guy/Gal Is Going to Hurt You 100%

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Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

Some people should come with warning signs on them, but unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. Even if it were, people would still probably go out with “dangerous” individuals.

I’ve met a lot of people in my time and have sat back and watched a lot the last few years.  I’ve learned that while some people are really good at hiding stuff, there are a lot of warning signs that a man or woman is going to hurt you– and good– if you just pay attention and be smart. Keeping your guard up until you know someone is a smart move. It doesn’t mean you give no one a chance– but it means you give people a chance and reciprocate slowly in kind to their hopeful positive actions.

So basically, in the meantime, keep an open mind but also, open eyes as you get to know others. They may reveal themselves before they want to if you pay attention. It’ll save you time so you don’t waste yours. Your time is precious!

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