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Archive for the ‘single parent life’ Category

Broke Single Parent Holiday

In single dad, single mom, single parent life on December 12, 2016 at 3:26 am

The buzz is on. Everyone is chatting about their awesome holiday vacations. The presents they’re buying for their spouses. The gift list they have made for their kiddos. The smashing New Year’s Eve reservations they’ve got in store. It sounds so thrilling and wonderful, but to you it feels pretty god darn awful. This is the part in which your “Fa-la-la-la-la” is completely flat:

The part in which you realize you’re flat broke and there’s no awesome holiday getaway or hot spousal date or worse, amazing list of gifts you’re dying to buy your kids.

Sure. Those things exist in your head but they’re not reality. Instead, you sit down and look at your budget. You look at how much money you have coming in and how much you can use to contribute towards the holidays, whether that be taking any days off or buying gifts for your children. You don’t feel so “Fa-la-la-la-la,” when you look at the bottom line that money is tight and that you’re going to be lucky if you can take vacation days because guess what? As a single parent you probably used up quite a bit already.

Read More:Broke Single Parent Holiday

You’re Rich In Love,

Laura

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Why Single Parenthood Helped Me Face My Anxiety

In divorce, divorce advice, single dad, single mom, single parent life on November 21, 2016 at 2:49 am

I have never been a shy or introverted person. I was always comfortable being “me” even at a young age. Still, I have always been a sensitive soul and as I got older, I was anxious—a high energy, anxious, Type A sort of woman. When my ex and I separated, the anxiety ebbed and flowed. Sometimes, it was fine. There was a happiness and peace in finally deciding to divorce once and for all, as well as a joy in not being with the wrong person: i.e., not fighting every day and night anymore. But with separation and divorce, there came major uncertainty and with those changes and “new territory,” came anxiety.

Dating. Losing a home. Moving out on my own. Becoming financially independent. Navigating the divorce process. Sharing our child. Coparenting.

All of these things brought some very real fears and others, imagined. One of the greatest fears I would wager to bet most divorced people fear is failure.

Will I be able to make it on my own?

Did I make the right choice?

Will my daughter be fine?

Will I go broke?

Will I meet someone?

I want to tell you that two years later all my fears have subsided, but life has changed since we went our separate ways and in some ways, things are easier and other ways, things are much harder.

Single parenthood though, made me face my fears to the highest level.

Read More: Why Single Parenthood Helped Me Face My Anxiety

You Can Do It,

Laura

How to make the most of a long weekend alone without the kids— Divorce Style

In divorce, divorce advice, single dad, single mom, single parent life on May 26, 2016 at 5:00 pm

In all truth, ever since splitting from my former husband, the hardest times for me have been holidays…and summer weekends alone. It’s easy to understand why adjusting to sharing holidays has been hard. Thankfully, my ex and I split almost every single holiday day in half since we live close. But why have I found summer weekends alone to be hard in particular? Well, I suppose it’s one thing to be alone on a frigid cold winter night. Is everyone else going out and having a good time? Most likely not. Most likely they’re Netflixing and “chilling” or literally watching Netflix alone like any other single gal home at night on a Saturday in January. But in the summer there are a lot of family vacations, hot summer romances, trips away…and as a single person who hasn’t been too impressed yet with the dating pool, the nights I found myself struggling to find something to do felt pretty awkward and sad in the past. I was, in theory, supposed to have “fun” on my free nights and be out like everyone else, so why wasn’t I? I mean, I was having fun sometimes, but it was hard to find other single people ready to go out. It seemed like more of a chore to find something to do than I had expected, but most of my friends were home with their partners, like other married folks.

 

Read More: How to make the most of a long weekend alone without the kids— Divorce Style

Enjoy It,

Laura

 

 

6 Ways to Relieve Stress as a Single Mom

In divorce advice, fitness & wellness, single mom, single parent life on May 6, 2016 at 6:23 pm

Are you a stressed single parent? Welcome to the club! Adjusting to single motherhood definitely takes time but eventually, it’s simply the life you know and you’ll have a routine down pat. Still, women especially mothers, are known for biting off more than they can chew and not asking for enough help. This means that especially after a divorce, you could be feeling the burn mentally and physically, and no, I am not talking about voting for Bernie Sanders here. Some of you single moms may be laughing here when I say this but, there are ways to relieve your stress to bring you a happier and more peaceful life, post divorce. Things don’t always have to feel so difficult or challenging. Take my tips and find yourself feeling more at ease in your daily life after divorce!

Read More: 6 Ways to Relieve Stress as a Single Mom

Take a Deep Breath,

Laura

Why Divorce Made Me a Better Mom

In divorce, divorce advice, motherhood, parenthood, single dad, single mom, single parent life on April 11, 2016 at 10:46 pm

I know there are plenty of naysayers on divorce. No one said it was an easy choice or that it is “easy” for kids. It’s a hard choice and can be tough on kids. It doesn’t mean, however, that a divorce has to ruin you and your kids’ lives forever. Can it temporarily and intermittently be stressful? The answer would be yes, but like many women who chose to divorce, for a long time I felt as if I were a terrible mom and parent for deciding, along with my ex, to split. I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel for my daughter’s sake until finally, there we both were, standing in the light. The relief flooded me.

You could call me a glass-half-full kind of lady but as hard as the divorce was, it has also made me a better person, a better woman, a better future partner and a better mother. It has pushed me to limits that I realized were not limits. Divorce placed me in the hardest of situations and each time, I got myself out of the slippery knot a bit stronger, a bit smarter, a bit more positive, and a lot more confident. Divorce made me:

Read More: Why Divorce Made Me a Better Mom

It Can Make You a Better Parent, If You Let It!

Laura

16 Struggles of Being a Divorced Mom

In divorce, single dad, single mom, single parent life on April 7, 2016 at 4:48 pm

Being a divorced mom has its pluses and minuses. There are times when the idea of being married again makes you want to jump a bridge. You are grateful for your single-mom life postdivorce. Then there are other days when you just want a partner right then and there and you wish you could hire a helping squad and have a friend pick your best match out of thin air! Parenting after divorce certainly has its rough terrain and learning curve. It’s almost as if you’re learning to reparent again and acquire a new way of viewing just about every single thing in your life. So it takes a little humor and a lot of chutzpah (that’s balls and guts for those of you who don’t speak Yiddish) to get through and make your life even more amazing as a divorced mom!

1. Where Is Everything?

When you’re a divorced mom, nothing stays at your house. It somehow always ends up at the other house. You will swear you bought your kid X amount of clothes and new sneakers, but somehow they’re either at your ex’s house or somewhere in purgatory.

 

Read More: 16 Struggles of Being a Divorced Mom

Pros & Cons,

Laura

5 Reasons I Love Being a Single Parent

In divorce, single dad, single mom, single parent life on April 4, 2016 at 8:25 pm

Being a single parent isn’t easy, but neither is rocket science, finding a guy who knows the difference between “your” and “you’re,” or surviving an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhousewithout wanting to strangle yourself to death. But even though single motherhood may have its cons and downfalls, there are so many wonderful things to embrace about being a single mom.

More of the Love

No kidding! Even though my child’s father is an active parent, when my daughter is with me, I get every inch of that love! Our bond is so very tight, and we have gotten the chance to develop a close relationship, because when it’s “Mommy time,” it’s “Mommy time,” and that means all of the kisses and hugs, too. How can anyone not cherish that?

Read More: 5 Reasons I Love Being a Single Parent

Love the Life You’re In,

Laura

Why You Don’t Need a Partner (Dad or Mom) to Complete a Family

In divorce, divorce advice, single dad, single mom, single parent life on March 21, 2016 at 7:26 pm

When you tell someone you’re a single mom, whether it’s because of divorce or having a no-show parent, you always get the face. You know what I’m talking about — the face of pity.

It’s nice to know that people genuinely care and want things to be good for you. Most of the times, it’s not that someone wants to make you feel bad for being a single mother, but that they want things to be assumedly easier for you. And for the most part, people are in love with love — the ideas of couples and happy marriages.

The reality is your life may be absolutely dreamy and wonderful as a single parent, or perhaps it may be hard, lonely, and tough. I am hoping it’s not the latter. Either way, after talking to numerous single parents, there is a common theme I get from many parents just like me: they feel they’re missing out or that their family is incomplete because they’re lacking another partner. A dad. A mom. That somehow, their family is “wrong” and not valid or real because it doesn’t consist of two married or partnered parents raising a child under one roof.

This is just myth, farce, and a flat-out lie!

You don’t need a dad or another mom or partner to be a legitimate family!

Read More: Why You Don’t Need a Partner (Dad or Mom) to Complete a Family

You Are Great On Your Own,

Laura

I Entered My Marriage a Girl and Left My Marriage a Woman

In divorce, divorce advice, single mom, single parent life on March 4, 2016 at 6:05 pm

March is known for coming in like a lion, and out like a lamb.

A contradiction of weather with its storms, snow, rain, wind and then subsequently, sunny and balmy days, March is a confused month — unable to settle into one steady pattern until finally, the month is over. It’s like an all-night bender: as the party ends, the wind dies down and everyone goes home for the night.

When I walked outside and felt the balmy breeze of an almost April day and remembered how cold it was the other day, I reminded myself about March’s mercurial ways and fell upon that childhood saying.

And oddly enough, this saying reminded me of me. Almost exactly but:

I entered my marriage a kitten and exited my divorce, a lioness.

I entered my marriage a girl, and exited it a woman.

Read More: I Entered My Marriage a Girl and Left My Marriage a Woman

 

Meow No More,

Laura

Dating Sites and Apps for Single Working Moms—a Roundup

In dating, dating advice, single mom, single parent life on February 29, 2016 at 9:38 pm

You’re single, you’re a mom, you have a job—and you want to date. Me too. So before you tell me it’s impossible, I offer you this: Anything is possible! I know, I know, the logistics of dating as a solo parent who’s working to provide for her family can get tough. I’m right there in the trenches online and on apps, looking for love and, mostly, looking to stay out of trouble. Sometimes it seems I’m swimming in a very shallow dating pool, but I haven’t given up and taken in fifty cats. Yet.

So here’s the “downlow” on dating sites I’ve tried as a SWM (single working mother). You should try too. And remember: You can do it at home, at night after the kids go to bed, in your jammies if you want.

Phone Apps

Tinder
Pros: Tinder is quick and easy. You set it up through your Facebook account and set your preferences within minutes. You won’t waste time filling out large forms and questionnaires, and your pictures are right there on Facebook. (Caveat: Don’t use photos of you with your kids or of them alone, for their safety. You never know.) Searching for matches is super simple. Once you’ve set age and distance preferences, you start swiping. A simple swipe left and dreamguy is gone forever; a simple swipe right, and he could end up a match for life!

Read More: Dating Sites and Apps for Single Working Moms—a Roundup

Give it A Shot,

Laura