When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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6 Ways to Hide You’re Hurting When You Can’t Be Real

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Photo by Sami Hobbs on Unsplash

It’s not easy keeping it together if you are feeling depressed or going through some serious life stuff. A biggest part of the challenge is hiding it.

Sure, maybe you have people you can come clean with, but for the most part, adult life is going through the motions without showing the “emotions”– unless you trust someone and let your guard down. I’m not saying you should fake it and not get help. If you are depressed, you should get help. But what I am saying, is sometimes you have to keep it together when you’re out in public or in a situation that demands privacy.

Here are some tips for keeping cool when really, you need a hug and a break.

1. Steer conversations towards other people

Avoid questions and have the person talk about him or herself. Most people like to do that!

2. Take time outs

Take a mental health day. Go for a walk. Hide out for a while and work in a different location in the office.

3. Say, “I’d rather not…”

Discuss it. When people ask if you are upset, you can decline talking– and find someone you trust to vent to.

4. Take a drive and cry

If your kids can’t see you cry or you just need to let it out, blast some music and cry a bit. Just watch the road.

5. Can say you’re fine

Not ready to talk to someone about your hurt feelings? Say you’re fine and wait for a time when you’re more composed.

6. Exercise, meditate or dance

Move. Move and mooove. Put your sadness or stress into the motions.

 

Chin up– hang tight– and hope for the best,

Laura

 

 

5 Things People May Think When Recovering From Abuse

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Photo by _Mxsh_ on Unsplash

When someone has gotten out of a traumatic situation, it’s very common to struggle with complex emotions and thoughts. More often than not, the abused will blame themselves for the abuser’s bad behavior, especially if the abuser was narcissistic.
1. Victims may retreat, lose/gain weight and feel depressed

It’s not unusual for victims of abuse to retreat from others out of shame, self-blame or desire to keep the abuse a secret.

Of course, it’s not the person’s fault and he or she shouldn’t be ashamed, but after being treated a certain way, it can be hard to not feel down about oneself.
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3 Things to NOT Do When Supporting a Loved One After Abuse

If you have a friend, romantic partner or family member who has been physically, emotionally, verbally or financially abused, this person needs your support.

If you really care, these are something things you can avoid doing to make this person’s recovery better and smooth.

1. Don’t Avoid Talking About It 

If this person brings up the event or abuse, don’t dodge talking about it. Obviously it’s not the most fun topic to chat about, but  avoiding the topic is basically invalidating how the person feels. Talking about something like abuse is not easy so if the person gets the courage to discuss, let them talk. It takes a lot of courage.

 

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5 Things to Do for a Partner Who Has Been Through Trauma

If you have been in a traumatic situation and are struggling to recover, rest assured: you are not the only person to have experienced this.

Trauma could be anything:

  • an accident
  • abuse
  • mugging
  • disastrous storm or natural event
  • rape
  • losing a loved one

Whatever the case, after enduring something traumatic, it can be hard without the right support. So, if you have a partner you love and are watching them struggle through something like this, here are 5 key things you can do to help your partner out.

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