I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Ever since I was little, I have always had a strong personality and Type A ways. Not extremely Type A, like ironing my curtains or heading up every PTO class, but Type A as in as a child, I secretly (and quietly in my head) hated when people put my toys back in the wrong spot and as an adult, I am very organized and rely on to-do lists, reminders and documents to keep me on track and progressing.

In my life, this has benefited me in many ways. I managed my life as a comedian and actress for a long time because of this. I excelled in college due to my personality traits. And as a single mom, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off with my guts, determination, organizational skills, and direction. This has helped me infinitely in terms of adjusting to life with just me and my little one.

Read More: I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Always Learning,

Laura

4 Perspectives to Embrace When Supporting Your Kids After Divorce

Our children are bystanders in the divorce process. Theyoverave no control in the matter and can often just sit or stand by and watch as their families change, drastically. Depending on the age of the child and the child’s individual personality, some kids will roll with divorce more easily than others. Not to mention, a child will fare better and come out happy despite divorce if the two parents are both active parents who for the most part, get along. This doesn’t mean you and your former spouse have to be “BFF’s,” but that the more you get along, the easier it is in general.

Keeping this in mind that our children are bystanders and the “audience” of the whole divorce debacle, how can we minimize the negative impacts a divorce can bring? Because our kids aren’t part of a passive audience: the divorce changes their lives in many ways.

Whether you’re separating, newly divorced or an old seasoned “pro” at divorce, keep in mind these 4 perspectives when parenting children after divorce.

Read More: 4 Perspectives to Embrace When Supporting Your Kids After Divorce

Support Them,

Laura

 

5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

In your twenties, you get to know people outside of your home and community. You get a feel for the world and what society is like. You have usually a diverse group of friends or at least acquaintances, and you’ve got more time to mingle. When you hit your thirties, you’ve solidified much of your core social group or if not, you’re about to do just that. You’re letting your social circle get smaller and at the same time if you get married and or have children, your circle also changes. This change is major. Your social circle is tight and if it’s not that’s a big issue.

To be frank, as a woman, if you don’t have at least one great girlfriend you can count on in your thirties, I implore you to get out there and make one—now!

You are missing out. Sure, guy friends are nice, but truly… a woman needs a few amazing girlfriends, always.

Okay, now that I’ve emphasized the importance of having great girlfriends, what happens to your social circle when you hit your forties?

Read More: 5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

Bye-Bye,

Laura

10 Marriage Tips From an Ex-Spouse Who Has Been There

As someone who was once married and now isn’t, I can say that even though I believe there was nothing that could have possibly saved my former marriage, I still think there are things I learned about marriage that I will carry with me to the next relationship. What good is life if you can’t learn lessons from it? Well, my marriage taught me a lot about me, a lot about what I want from someone, and a lot about what I need from someone (and have to give) in order to have a happy marriage the next go-round. Here are 10 marriage tips from an ex-spouse who has been there and done that.

1- Choose your words carefully . . . saying harsh words will only tear apart the marriage.

Read the rest at PopSugar!

Choose Your Battles Wisely,

Laura

Are These Divorce Men Stereotypes Fair?

While some people certainly make stereotypes come to life, there are also a lot of unfair stereotypes in this world. In my own experience, my ex has fit the bill with some of the stereotypes you’ll see here…but many of my divorced friends and associates do not fall into these harsh and sometimes, untrue assumptions about divorced men. Not every woman or man who divorced is exactly how you imagine them– the money hungry ex-wife….the deadbeat ex-husband. Here are stereotypes that divorced men face each day—no matter how good a man he is…or not.

It was his fault

A lot of people assume the divorce was the man’s fault—at least initially. Obviously if people know a couple, they’ll have an idea of the “root” of the issues, but most times when I tell people I am divorced, they assume it was my ex’s fault. I’m not going to personally reveal the source of our divorce, but I am stating that many people assume the guy either was a cheater, jerk or the cause of the marital discord.

Read More: Are These Divorce Men Stereotypes Fair?

Stereotypes Lie in Falsehoods, Too…

Laura

A Single Mom’s Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep…except for, I am still awake.

Awake thinking of the many things I meant to do, but couldn’t get done today.

Awake thinking of the things I said that I second guess—

In my mind, I go over these conversations with my child and wonder if something could have been said differently or if perhaps, there was something I might have missed in her words.

Or if perhaps, my strong love came through with each sentence, word and syllable

As she lays down to sleep,

I pray she doesn’t feel the difference between us and “them:”

As we walk our neighborhood on crisp days, she points to houses and says, “I want us to have our own home.”

As she lays down to sleep,

I hope she knows how amazing, creative, smart, strong and bright her light already is.

I sit and hope.

Hope that each day in every way,

my child knows I love her.

Read More: A Single Mom’s Prayer

 

Amen,

Laura

How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

You want your mother-in-law to like you but the chances of that happening are about, oh, one in a million, but you still have hope.

That’s OK, Mama. Everyone can have dreams. But just remember, you took her baby boy. Her pride and joy. Her reason for existing. Did you just experience a little heartburn upon reading that? Not surprising.

It’s hard to understand why your MIL can love the grandchildren you made, yet wish for your death simultaneously. Don’t try to understand it. You never will unless I suppose you have a son and even still, you want your son to grow up to be happy and loved, right?

Just accept that most likely, you will have to nail yourself to a cross in order for her to see how badly her behavior can sometimes make you suffer. Chances of you doing that are zero, so just realize she won’t change and instead do your best to painstakingly please this woman in order to survive being her “family.”

Read More: How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

She Hates You,

Laura

10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

When someone is in a good relationship, it shows. Their life thrives even under duress, and the relationship is never “in question.” A person in a happy and fulfilling relationship shines in almost every corner of his or her life.

On the other hand, a person in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship has the exact opposite situation. He or she doesn’t thrive. He or she is anxious or often subdued and maybe even depressed. It may seem like “just another relationship,” but the person you spend such an intimate amount of time with will seep into everything you do, think or say.

Here are 10 spot-on signs that your relationship is holding you back from the life you deserve.

1. All the fighting affects your sleep and appetite.

If you and your partner fight so much that you’re constantly having sleep, or if you have appetite issues, your relationship is dragging you into the mud. If there are nights you’re not sleeping and days in which food seems like an option because the two of you are at a crux, it’s not good.

Read More: 10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

End It,

Laura

How To Tell Your Friends & Family You’re Getting a Divorce

You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have decided to get a divorce and at first, the two of you were not ready to tell anyone. However now, it’s time to separate and really step out into the world as two separated distinct beings. How do you go about telling your friends and family? Is there a method or a way to go about it to try and break the news in a way that allows you to both keep your sanities and privacy?

There is no definite rulebook as to how to tell everyone, but there are some smart ways to go about the matter that will incur you and your former spouse, les stress.

Who NEEDS to Know

Before you start breaking the news, decide who really needs to know. In the early stages of separation, you are most likely going to feel vulnerable, scared and unsure. You and your former spouse can have a conversation over whom you both feel “needs” to know about the divorce, but understand that your partner’s view and comfort level may be different than yours. So when deciding to tell people, choose people in the beginning that you feel comfortable seeing you at your potential worst. The early stages are often the hardest.

 

Read More: How to Tell Your Friends & Family You’re Getting a Divorce

It’s Going to Be O.k.,

Laura

How to Tell Your Kids You’re Getting a Divorce

Telling your children you and your partner are getting a divorce is probably one of the hardest conversations you’ll ever have in a lifetime, hands down.

Unless your kids are dying to have the two of you split up due to stressful family arguments, most likely your children will be very sad. However, there’s no way around it: you can’t hide a divorce from the kids, but when you tell them, you and your partner can make the process easier by considering these few aspects and tips!

Practice Ahead of Time

This is not the time to “wing it.” You and your partner need to sit down and discuss how you two are going to break the news to the kiddos. Obviously you cannot plan every last breath and syllable, but the two of you can go over the main components of your message to the kids. The absolute worst thing to do would be:

Read More: How to Tell Your Kids You’re Getting a Divorce

Put Them First,

Laura