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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

My Summer of Zero Dates

In dating, dating advice, divorce, Uncategorized on August 9, 2017 at 2:33 am

I decided at some point that this was going to be my summer of zero dates.

Well, mostly.

I was online and on apps a lot. I had more first dates in a two month period than I had in my entire life, and I was always a pretty active dater. Nothing disastrous had happened. Nothing traumatic. I just felt as if the dating had become a chore.

For most people, casual conversation with a “mostly” stranger like the dates you have online are difficult. For me, I could talk to anyone…really. The janitor. The CEO. The three-year old child. The eighty-year old guy with Dementia on the subway. Conversing with dates was a breeze.

I met interesting people…and not so interesting people. Some were a little crazy while others were perfectly fine.

None gave me a tingle or spark. None made me say, let’s take this to the next level.

And hey, when you are divorced and dating, we all know how tough that can be.

Juggling your schedules around the kids…if you’ve both got them or you or your date is a parent.

Trusting someone after perhaps some intense trust fails from an ex.

Revealing parts of yourself and being vulnerable after watching a marriage fail.

Dating after divorce is an intricate dance, and one that I had committed to carrying out, from the beginning intro the final curtsy, but before summer had even dropped its hot humid temperatures on the East Coast, I was just done.

Not bitter. Not jaded.

Just bored.

Read More: My Summer of Zero Dates

A Little Break,

Laura

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10 Marriage Tips From an Ex-Spouse Who Has Been There

In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on April 12, 2017 at 11:28 am

As someone who was once married and now isn’t, I can say that even though I believe there was nothing that could have possibly saved my former marriage, I still think there are things I learned about marriage that I will carry with me to the next relationship. What good is life if you can’t learn lessons from it? Well, my marriage taught me a lot about me, a lot about what I want from someone, and a lot about what I need from someone (and have to give) in order to have a happy marriage the next go-round. Here are 10 marriage tips from an ex-spouse who has been there and done that.

1- Choose your words carefully . . . saying harsh words will only tear apart the marriage.

Read the rest at PopSugar!

Choose Your Battles Wisely,

Laura

Are These Divorce Men Stereotypes Fair?

In divorce, divorce advice, Uncategorized on February 27, 2017 at 6:10 pm

While some people certainly make stereotypes come to life, there are also a lot of unfair stereotypes in this world. In my own experience, my ex has fit the bill with some of the stereotypes you’ll see here…but many of my divorced friends and associates do not fall into these harsh and sometimes, untrue assumptions about divorced men. Not every woman or man who divorced is exactly how you imagine them– the money hungry ex-wife….the deadbeat ex-husband. Here are stereotypes that divorced men face each day—no matter how good a man he is…or not.

It was his fault

A lot of people assume the divorce was the man’s fault—at least initially. Obviously if people know a couple, they’ll have an idea of the “root” of the issues, but most times when I tell people I am divorced, they assume it was my ex’s fault. I’m not going to personally reveal the source of our divorce, but I am stating that many people assume the guy either was a cheater, jerk or the cause of the marital discord.

Read More: Are These Divorce Men Stereotypes Fair?

Stereotypes Lie in Falsehoods, Too…

Laura

10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2017 at 2:01 am

I always believed what men told me simply because I am honest to a “T.” I figured everyone else was as well. How could someone stand to lie to someone’s face?

As I got older and married and then divorced, I learned with experience that not everyone is honest, even if they’re a decent human being on the surface. Sometimes, men lie to save your feelings… or save their own.

Of course, sometimes men lie because, well… they’re not such nice people. It can be hard to fathom why someone might lie right to your face but the fact is, guys will do it if it means they will get what they want.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t genuine, kind and honest men or that there aren’t ruthless and crooked lying women out there. But sometimes, the lies men tell to get what they want are convenient.

Here are 10 lies men tell and why they do it.

Read More: 10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

Talk, Talk,

Laura

9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on January 27, 2017 at 3:58 pm

Affairs aren’t the only sign that there is clear trouble in a marriage. Some signs of trouble in a marriage are very obvious and others more subtle. Sometimes, others can see the trouble from the outside in before a couple can, and in some circumstances, the trouble is only prevalent to the couple; those haunting difficulties they share in private.

Read on to learn for nine signs that there’s big trouble in little China, i.e. your marriage, other than blatant affairs.

1. Consumed With Social Media

If your partner is chained to Facebook, it may be because the boy’s got a serious flirtation going on with an ex . . . or he’s hunting for old girlfriends.

If you’re the party whose nose is fixated on the news feeds, you may be doing the exact same thing. Tuning into social and tuning out your partner is a big fat sign your marriage is in deep dog doo-doo or the two of you are just negligent partners.

Read More: 9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble

 

Deep, Deep Trouble,

Laura

A Single Mom’s Prayer

In single dad, single mom, Uncategorized on December 12, 2016 at 3:29 am

Now I lay me down to sleep…except for, I am still awake.

Awake thinking of the many things I meant to do, but couldn’t get done today.

Awake thinking of the things I said that I second guess—

In my mind, I go over these conversations with my child and wonder if something could have been said differently or if perhaps, there was something I might have missed in her words.

Or if perhaps, my strong love came through with each sentence, word and syllable

As she lays down to sleep,

I pray she doesn’t feel the difference between us and “them:”

As we walk our neighborhood on crisp days, she points to houses and says, “I want us to have our own home.”

As she lays down to sleep,

I hope she knows how amazing, creative, smart, strong and bright her light already is.

I sit and hope.

Hope that each day in every way,

my child knows I love her.

Read More: A Single Mom’s Prayer

 

Amen,

Laura

11 Phrases Guys Say When They’re REALLY Into You

In love, relationships, Uncategorized on November 21, 2016 at 2:58 am

Women have an arsenal of things we say when we aren’t into someone. We also use body language cues and eye rolls that could freeze an unwanted man right in his footsteps.

But men? Well, they’re knocked for being the less verbal sex, which isn’t necessarily true or accurate. Perhaps they’re saying plenty to us but maybe the message isn’t translating as they’re intending it to be, or we’re missing the signals.

But there are quite a few phrases a man can say that tell you he’s very into you.

1. “This reminded me of you.”

He won’t always say he’s thinking of you because he might want to avoid being too direct to spare his feelings from being hurt. He will say that something reminded him of you because he’s thinking about you and wants you to know without taking the risk of truly saying so.

Read More: 11 Phrases Guys Say When They’re REALLY Into You

He’s SO Into You,

Laura

How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

In humor, marriage, Uncategorized on November 11, 2016 at 1:53 am

You want your mother-in-law to like you but the chances of that happening are about, oh, one in a million, but you still have hope.

That’s OK, Mama. Everyone can have dreams. But just remember, you took her baby boy. Her pride and joy. Her reason for existing. Did you just experience a little heartburn upon reading that? Not surprising.

It’s hard to understand why your MIL can love the grandchildren you made, yet wish for your death simultaneously. Don’t try to understand it. You never will unless I suppose you have a son and even still, you want your son to grow up to be happy and loved, right?

Just accept that most likely, you will have to nail yourself to a cross in order for her to see how badly her behavior can sometimes make you suffer. Chances of you doing that are zero, so just realize she won’t change and instead do your best to painstakingly please this woman in order to survive being her “family.”

Read More: How to Please Your Mother-in-Law in 5 Easy Steps

She Hates You,

Laura

10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

In relationships, Uncategorized on October 24, 2016 at 1:30 am

When someone is in a good relationship, it shows. Their life thrives even under duress, and the relationship is never “in question.” A person in a happy and fulfilling relationship shines in almost every corner of his or her life.

On the other hand, a person in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship has the exact opposite situation. He or she doesn’t thrive. He or she is anxious or often subdued and maybe even depressed. It may seem like “just another relationship,” but the person you spend such an intimate amount of time with will seep into everything you do, think or say.

Here are 10 spot-on signs that your relationship is holding you back from the life you deserve.

1. All the fighting affects your sleep and appetite.

If you and your partner fight so much that you’re constantly having sleep, or if you have appetite issues, your relationship is dragging you into the mud. If there are nights you’re not sleeping and days in which food seems like an option because the two of you are at a crux, it’s not good.

Read More: 10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

End It,

Laura

How To Tell Your Friends & Family You’re Getting a Divorce

In divorce, divorce advice, Uncategorized on October 11, 2016 at 1:29 am

You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse have decided to get a divorce and at first, the two of you were not ready to tell anyone. However now, it’s time to separate and really step out into the world as two separated distinct beings. How do you go about telling your friends and family? Is there a method or a way to go about it to try and break the news in a way that allows you to both keep your sanities and privacy?

There is no definite rulebook as to how to tell everyone, but there are some smart ways to go about the matter that will incur you and your former spouse, les stress.

Who NEEDS to Know

Before you start breaking the news, decide who really needs to know. In the early stages of separation, you are most likely going to feel vulnerable, scared and unsure. You and your former spouse can have a conversation over whom you both feel “needs” to know about the divorce, but understand that your partner’s view and comfort level may be different than yours. So when deciding to tell people, choose people in the beginning that you feel comfortable seeing you at your potential worst. The early stages are often the hardest.

 

Read More: How to Tell Your Friends & Family You’re Getting a Divorce

It’s Going to Be O.k.,

Laura