15 Things Every Smart Woman Should Do Before She Turns The Big 4-0

The big 4-0. It will come before you know it. So in the meantime, you need to live your thirties to the fullest. The thirties are so fabulous because you’re settled in who you are, and in many cases, settled in a career. You’re not a newbie or a “youngin” anymore, but you’re still vivacious enough to take risks, go out for a night of fun, and your sexy age makes you adored by young and old.

The fact is your confidence is sexier than your wrinkle-free, 20-year-old face and you know it. Your friendships are established, and while you’re still interested in exploring yourself and the world, you know where you’re headed or where you want to go. So before you clock in at 4-0, if you’re a smart woman, do these 15 things.

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for a raise.

You’ve worked hard, so why not? After being in your field or at a certain position for a while, you’ve paid your dues. Ask for the raise and get the salary you want now so it pays off later when you ask for another raise or move to another job with better pay.

Read More: 15 Things Every Smart Woman Should Do Before She Turns The Big 4-0

Just Do It!

Laura

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7 Reasons Everyone’s *Slightly* Afraid Of An Independent Woman

An independent woman sounds oh-so-sexy, but why then are so many people afraid of an independent woman?

There are many reasons and most of them are never directly stated; instead, they’re implied and internalized. As one of those “independent” women, I often feel that, for men, perhaps it’s not that I’m not “enough” for them, but that I’m too much.

Other than car repairs and fixing things, I take care of everything. Yes, I’m one of those women who knows when she needs to ask either a man or woman for help, and that’s when it involves repairs.

So if you’re an independent woman who can’t meet the right guy, or has a tough time with friendships or colleagues — or are a man who’s in love with an independent woman — read on!

Read More: 7 Reasons Everyone’s *Slightly* Afraid Of An Independent Woman

Scared?

Laura

Why I Will Never, EVER Apologize For Being A B*tch

The sugar and spice and everything nice dialogue has put women to the back of the bus for years.

When was the last time a man apologized for being too direct, too firm, or too certain? Never! Not even in Adam & Eve’s time did man bow down for being too assertive or aggressive.

Yet when we as women get a little assertive or aggressive suddenly, we’re black widow spiders and bitches.

There’s no room in our society for women to own the space they’re in without someone putting in his or her two cents about how awful that woman is. Me? I make no apologies for when I’m a bitch. Why should I apologize for being assertive and telling people the truth?

Am I supposed to live my life on the sidelines, smiling sweetly while others walk all over me? Or not reach for my career goals and rather wait for them to happen for me magically with a spoon full of sugar?

I’m not saying I’m a jerk or rude but that I tell people how I feel and participate in every activity or job I do 100 percent. I don’t care if I’m the youngest, least experienced, only female, or the newest somewhere — if I have something to add to the conversation, I will add it.

Read More: Why I Will Never, EVER Apologize For Being A B*tch

Not Sorry,

Laura

Beyond Fertility: Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Period

When you first got your period you probably experienced a combination of excitement — “I’m a woman!” — and dread — “Ugh, is this going to suck every month?” And if you are lucky, your cycle has been a regular and predictable ever since you wore your first maxi pad, but for many of us, our periods can become an outright problem.

I delivered my daughter via C-section and have had two D&C’s (dilation and curettage) due to miscarriages, and after the last D&C I noticed my periods weren’t the same. While I had always had lighter periods than some of my friends, they had a consistently normal flow lasting around three days and came every 27-28 days. Suddenly, it was as if my period came and went in two days and then only occasionally, and I would spot for days on end afterward. Wondering to myself what the problem could be, I started to go through the three questions a woman might ask if her period was light or absent:

Read More: Beyond Fertility: Why You Need to Pay Attention to Your Period

 

Be Informed,

Laura

8 Goals For the Newly Divorced Woman in Her 20s

Divorce impacts everyone it touches, but depending on your age and life situation when you divorce, it will strike you in different ways. As a newly divorced woman in her 20s, what are the next steps and goals you should set to move forward from your divorce? Well, every individual is different, but these goals should help you start to see the sunny side of the street in no time, and that big old word called “divorce” will start to seem smaller every day in 2016!

1- You Are NOT Damaged

Being in your 20s and divorced is rarer than being in your 30s and 40s and divorced. This may make you feel alone and a bit damaged as compared to your single or married friends, but you need to kick those feelings to the curb in 2016 because they’re NOT true!

First, acknowledge your feelings of shame and regret by writing them down. When you’re all “Dear Diary”-ed out, read them and then tear the paper up, hit delete, or set the list to fire! (Just be careful if you choose the last option.) You are not damaged. You took a chance on love early on. Perhaps you are very mature for your age. Perhaps you’re a romantic. Perhaps — many reasons. There is nothing wrong with failing at love at any age! And just think — now you have many years to find the right one.

Read More: 8 Goals For the Newly Divorced Woman in Her 20s

You’re Amazing,

Laura

3 Myths About Bossy Women

While I’m not a dictator or as bossy as the quintessential boss Lucy from Peanuts, I like being in charge. Hell, let me rephrase that: I LOVE IT! This isn’t to say that I won’t let someone else lead; in fact, I have dealt with more assertive people than myself, both male and female, and let them lead the way because I either was buying what they were selling, so to speak, or could see they were more of a Top Dog than myself, or at the very least listened to what they had to say. But there is a great satisfaction in leading a cause or effort and getting things accomplished for me. There’s nothing like checking off a task accomplished to bring me that warm and fuzzy content feeling.

As of late, I found myself working with a male who by nature and culture is more direct than I am and enjoys leading. We butt heads once and after that, it was easy and a pleasure to work with him. It is nice to find someone who enjoys taking the lead and working with me to finish a job.

Read More: 3 Myths About Bossy Women

Small and in Charge,

Laura

9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

Dating in your late 30s (especially if you are dating after divorce with kids like me) is sort of like sifting through a garbage can, hoping to find a huge diamond and a pair of Manolo Blahniks. I don’t mean to say that every available man is worthless when you’re in your late 30s but rather that the game is hard, and guess what, ladies: it’s still a game, even at our age. Here are some truths you need to know if you’re about to head out into the dating pond in your late 30s.

1. They Want Them Young

A lot of men want their ladies young. These are the bachelors that hit late-30s and into mid-40s and suddenly realized, “Oh snap! My sperm is getting old, too, wouldn’t you know? And now that I am all grown up, I think it’s time I settled down. I think I will pick a nice 25-year-old.” Even though you’re their age or even quite younger than them by years, you’re still old to them. It’s BS. The right one won’t care that you’re not in your 20s, absolutely, and you’re not old, but yet there are guys who will completely shut you down, especially online, if you’re a year over his age range. It is what it is.

Read More: 9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

It is What it is,

Laura

6 Things Women in Their 30s Want Lovely 20-Somethings to Know

As I round out the end of my 30s and all of its unique glories, challenges, and triumphs, it dawns on me that so every often I feel like I am 25 still. It’s as if I forget my own age. But there is one thing that makes me uniquely different from 25, and it’s not just my biological age, but all the wisdom and the self-esteem that started from life lessons in my 20s and headed into all the glory and heartache of my 30s. I am a very social person, and so I find myself often out people watching, and I see all you lovely, beautiful, sweet, and unsure 20-somethings and I want to grab a chair and pull you over so I can share to you what I know in hopes that it will help you as you venture into adult female life!

Read More: 6 Things Women in Their 30s Want Lovely 20-Somethings to Know

With Love,

Laura

Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

“I am a real woman damn it! And I don’t look like an hourglass!”

In fact, if I didn’t have a chest, I would probably wear clothes strictly from the kids’ department, but does this mean I am a fake woman? Like some human female version of Pinocchio?

The female body has evolved over the years. The Italian Renaissance called for the Rubenesque look, or a full-figured body. The androgynous look of the ’20s. Heroin chic of the ’90s. The big booty of the millennium. What’s considered “ideal” for the female figure changes through the years, but what doesn’t change is the fact that not every woman will always fit in the ideal type! There is no one female body shape that is timeless according to societal standards. So with that said, NONE of us are real women or NONE of us have been considered a “real woman” at some point in our lives. Quite frankly, I am tired of it.

Read More: Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

 

Proud of Me,

Laura