Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

“I am a real woman damn it! And I don’t look like an hourglass!”

In fact, if I didn’t have a chest, I would probably wear clothes strictly from the kids’ department, but does this mean I am a fake woman? Like some human female version of Pinocchio?

The female body has evolved over the years. The Italian Renaissance called for the Rubenesque look, or a full-figured body. The androgynous look of the ’20s. Heroin chic of the ’90s. The big booty of the millennium. What’s considered “ideal” for the female figure changes through the years, but what doesn’t change is the fact that not every woman will always fit in the ideal type! There is no one female body shape that is timeless according to societal standards. So with that said, NONE of us are real women or NONE of us have been considered a “real woman” at some point in our lives. Quite frankly, I am tired of it.

Read More: Real Women Have Whatever They Want — Curves or None!

 

Proud of Me,

Laura

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Savvy Lady of the Year 2015

I am very excited and honored to announce that I am the Savvy Lady of the year for 2015!

Visit this page to learn about my nomination and the organization behind it, Savvy Ladies, a non-profit organization providing financial education to women!

More about my award & Savvy Ladies

Proud Woman

Laura

Hey, Ladies! 6 Ways To Shamelessly Say “No” Like A Man

Ever since the caveman days, men have been saying “no” with ease. But women? It’s almost as if we’re allergic to saying the word “no.” It doesn’t matter how logical our reason is for saying no, we still somehow feel bad when we have to let someone down for any reason.

Somehow, we believe that the world’s fate and our friend, lover, neighbor, associate, family member’s happiness rests on our shoulders when it’s not true.

I find myself to be an assertive person, but I still find myself fumbling to say no more often than not — or worse, giving some wordy explanation or multiple explanations as to why I’ve said no.

I can’t simply say “no” without feeling badly and I know there are a million other women like me, so I’ve decided to take back my right to say no by taking lessons from men, and so should you, ladies. We’re not here to please everyone!

Read More: Hey, Ladies! 6 Ways To Shamelessly Say “No” Like A Man

Just Say No,

Laura

How to Support a Mom With Postpartum Depression

I remember vividly watching someone at a moms’ group who was suffering with postpartum depression as she broke down. My heart ached for this mom. As someone who has experienced depression in the past, I could only imagine how hard it must be to feel that way while caring for a baby, especially your very first baby. I felt so fortunate that after having a difficult pregnancy, my postpartum life was a happy one. Having an easy baby helped. People have a hard enough time wrapping their heads around depression and mental health issues in the first place; the idea that a woman could be severely depressed after an event that is supposed to bring someone the greatest joy is even harder for people to comprehend. Yet according to the CDC, 600,000 women get PPD annually in the United States alone. That’s a huge number for something that’s supposedly “rare” to happen. Obviously it’s not so unusual or rare if so many women struggle with it, yet it’s still not something that’s talked about very openly. To feel depressed after birth is almost sinful in some people’s eyes.

Read More: How to Support a Mom With Postpartum Depression

Here For My “Sisters,”

Laura

How to Support the Mom Who’s Having a Baby No One Approves Of

Yay! She’s having a baby!

Or wait . . . maybe that’s not always a “yay” when you hear someone is pregnant.

A dangerous pregnancy with complications to the mother’s health, or a mom who is very ill and pregnant. A teenage mother. An unwed mother. A divorced mom who has left her partner. A mom with financial issues. The other woman. A baby born into an abusive marriage.

These are just a few scenarios in which, sometimes, people don’t bust out the baby shower invites and diaper cakes.

No matter how you feel though — even if the situation is dire — the baby is being born whether you and your loved ones like it or not. Most often, people refuse to support these pregnant women. Most often, people shake their heads and sigh with sadness. And indeed, in a lot of these situations, there is sadness and possibly danger. There are things to be worried about. No one would doubt or question it, but no matter what, that baby will be born in just a brief nine months, and this baby may be a part of your life. What do you do?

Read More: How to Support the Mom Who’s Having a Baby No One Approves Of

Supporting the Ladies as Best as I Can,

Laura

Why You Deserve a Girls’ Weekend

Motherhood usually means kids first, partner second . . . and Mom third. One of the first realizations of motherhood is how once that baby is out of you and in the world, who you were as you once knew it changes. It’s a hardcore identity struggle for some of us: how do we be “a person” yet be a mom too? For some, it’s one in the same, but for most mommies, just because we gave birth doesn’t mean we have forgotten the interests and sparks around us that make us happy. There’s this dialogue that if you don’t take care of yourself and only focus on the kids, you’re doing it wrong. Then there’s the opposite dialogue: if you’re enjoying yourself and taking too much “me” time, you’re a crappy mom. How does one win?

Read More: Why You Deserve a Girls’ Weekend

Where My Girls At?

Laura

Why You Deserve to Go Back to School

You’ve had kids and either your career is stalling or you’re a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t have a career to return to (or one you want to go back to!), so you think to yourself, “Why don’t I go back to school and finally get a degree, finish my degree, or further my education?”

Everyone thinks it’s a fantastic idea: your in-laws, your partner, and your friends.

Besides you.

There’s this tiny little voice inside your head that says a little too loudly: “You don’t deserve to go back,” or “You’ll fail.” A part of you even believes that you’re being selfish and a bad mother for wanting to do something for yourself. That’s because “mother culture” says we’re supposed to put the kids first always, and that doing something for oneself means we’re selfish, self-absorbed moms who don’t really care about their kids. This, my friends, is a whole load of BS. There are a million reasons going back to school IS a kick-butt idea! And if you doubt it or perhaps your partner doubts it, let me convince you both.

Read more: Why You Deserve to Go Back to School

Teacher, Teacher– Can You Teach Me?

Laura Lifshitz

What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

I was picking my daughter up from aftercare, but once again, she didn’t want to leave. She was sitting at a little preschool-size table with one of her BFFs, and they were drawing pictures together. She had on leggings, a t-shirt, and a puffy zip-up vest. As I coaxed my girl to hurry up, her little friend pointed at my girl and said while laughing, “She’s so fat!”

Instantly, my blood tingled. I felt my face get a little hot.

“That’s not nice. We don’t say that to people. She’s not fat,” I said sternly with a voice that indicated I meant business.

I didn’t yell or say anything else, but the little friend looked at me with a face that read somewhere between, “Oh, I shouldn’t have said that,” and “Wait, what did I do wrong?”

Finally, she said, still laughing, “Her vest makes her look fat.”

My daughter barely noticed the whole conversation and simply got up to go home as if nothing had happened, but something had happened.

To me.

Read More: What Happened When a Kid Called My Kid Fat

Raising My Girl As Best I Can,

Laura

To My Antisemitic, Woman-Hating Bully: You’re Evil And Sad

There’s not a lot of love for us Jews these days. Whether we’re one percent Jewish or one hundred, nasty remarks about being Jewish abound all over the internet. Many regard Lena Dunham’s essay, “Dog Or Jewish Boyfriend? A Quiz” for The New Yorker’s humor section to be not so humorous; it’s actually quite anti-semitic despite the actress and writer’s Jewish roots.

Daily Show host Trevor Noah was also called out for some of his off-color tweets about Jews. I kind of thought that since it’s 2015, anti-semitism would be out of fashion. Apparently, it’s become more in taste to bash Jews.

Yes, Jews are known for our self-deprecation and dark humor, so (to be fair) when it comes to funny, it’s hard to say what behavior is simply dark humor, self-hating Jewishness, or simple anti-semitism.

But when sentiments are clearly anti-semitic, it is wicked.

Read More: To My Antisemitic, Woman-Hating Bully: You’re Evil And Sad

Sticks & Stones May Break My Bones But Your Words Will Never Hurt Me,

Laura

How to Get Winked at and Harassed at Work

I am so fortunate to be at a job in which both the men and women respect each other. I can’t express how glad I am to be blessed with this opportunity, but what makes me sad is that this respectful work environment is a rarity in my experience. The joy I feel in being a regular person in my full-time job and not a trophy employee for some disgustingly inappropriate male boss, shouldn’t be uncommon — it should be the standard. But unfortunately, being a “body” instead of a worker has been a common instance for me in my employed life.

Read More: How to Get Winked at and Harassed at Work

Not A Barbie Doll,

Laura