3 Ways to Deal With Disappointment

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It is really hard when someone or something disappoints us.

When we put our best effort or hopes into anything or anyone, be it a relationship, a new job or a new venture, if it doesn’t work out or things don’t go as planned, it can be difficult to pick up the pieces and start over. Or, forgive and forget and forge ahead. Or even further still, not let the pain get in the way of our own growth.

Everyone feels disappointed now and then. For some of us, disappointment may seem to literally come and come and come– without ceasing to end for a while– but it always does go away.

How we deal with these disappointments are key to how we grow from them.

Here are 3 healthy ways to cope with disappointment:

Take Time Alone to Think

Taking some time on your own to reflect and consider how this disappointment played out is helpful.

Consider:

  • If your expectations were fair
  • If you put your best effort in
  • If there was a way you may have contributed to the situation
  • If there is anything you could do to feel better and heal

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4 Reasons to Stop Jumping Hoops for Someone Who Won’t Do The Same for You

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Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

How many times have you tried to reach out and make a connection to someone you care about, whether a friend or romantic partner, only for the person to snub, avoid or deny your attempts?

If you’re the one who always makes the effort, while the other person sits and does nothing, this post is for you.

Here are 4 reasons to stop making those written (and verbal requests):

People Take For Granted What Is Easily There

It’s human to take people for granted now and then, but if you’ve been getting nowhere with a friend, colleague pr partner, don’t bother.

That person has gotten it easy: you’ve made all the effort and they’ve done well, nothing to change the scenario.

Stop being available to that person. He or she is taking you for granted as you’re “easily there” when needed.

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4 Signs You Are Unappreciated & It’s Affecting Your Emotions

verena-yunita-yapi-l2MrMLKKi6I-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Verena Yunita Yapi on Unsplash

Do you ever feel as if the people around you– coworkers, lovers, family, friends, etc. don’t appreciate all you do? Especially the people who do less than you do while you’re out there being an awesome parent, or coworker or partner or friend?

You may not even realize that the frustration, sadness or just general annoyance you feel stems from feeling unappreciated– and nothing else.

When we put ourselves out there and don’t get either the support, feedback or love in return for all we do, it can take a toll on a person.

Consider the single parent who bears the load of two parents. Consider the coworker who is lifting the heavy load. Consider the friend who always calls the other. Consider the partner who always initiates contact– emotionally and physically.

If you are feeling sad, irritated, frustrated, mad or despondent, you may just feel unappreciated.

Here are 4 signs that the people in your life aren’t appreciating all you do– and it’s affecting your emotions:

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How to Keep Your Divorce From Becoming Office Gossip

If you work in an office, you know how gossipy it gets. The office is its own microcosm with rules and a life all its own. People like to mind others’ business, and often, share it. What else is there to do when you’re in cubicle central? You could stay quiet but … many don’t.

And at the same time, our coworkers often see us at our best and worst, and when you’re getting a divorce there is a big chance you will be on your “worst,” on quite a few occasions. You can put on a happy face as much as possible and put your nose to the grindstone at work, but you’ll definitely have a few grouchy days. You may need to step into the bathroom, find a stall and cry for a few minutes. That’s normal.

Read More: How to Keep Your Divorce From Becoming Office Gossip

Keep The Chatter Down,

Laura

4 Reasons Not Giving A F*** Has Made Me Happier

There’s this popular book out there called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Mansonthat is on everyone’s lips, and it’s not just because of the provocative title.

It’s the reality that so many of us care about everything—what people think. How we stack up to other people. How we handle tough times. How we manage stress. We care, care and care so hard and often, we are left depleted by caring and fretting over stuff that we cannot change.

While I haven’t read this book, my first thought was how it was interesting a man wrote this. I say this only because women seem to care so much more about what others think than men do, albeit I’ve done no scientific research to back up that fact.

I can just say with my own honesty that I’ve spent a lot of time in my life caring and giving so many f*cks and often about people and things that I shouldn’t have blinked twice about that it is a vital life lesson to learn not to give an F.

It’s hard. I am sensitive. I am emotional and passionate. I love people. I like people to like me. But as I’ve gotten older, I have learned how important it is to stop caring about what I cannot change and not worry about what others think about me as much.

Read More: 4 Reasons Not Giving A F*** Has Made Me Happier

Not Giving One F,

Laura

My Interview For Fox News on Financial Education for Women

When I decided to get a divorce, I was terrified. I was financially dependent and desperately trying to grow my income. Three years later, with a lot of hard work and sweat…I am doing it, thanks to the help of an amazing organization called Savvy Ladies.

Please watch this video and share. It could help a woman who is struggling in silence.

Watch the interview here.

With Hope,

Laura

The Essential Guide to Having a Work Husband or Boyfriend

He knows you like your coffee black with three sugars. He knows you have a serious addiction to Ryan Reynolds and that you and your best friend talk every day on your way home from work. He tells you when you’re having a great hair day.

“He” is otherwise known as your work boyfriend, aka the work hubby!

You can’t imagine clocking in or out without seeing your favorite co-worker, the work hubby, and he’s frequently there to join you at lunch break, talking away as if you two have known each other for life. But is your relationship with the work hubby appropriate, especially if you’re involved with a man (married or dating)? Let’s discuss the right and the wrong way to have a work boyfriend or husband.

Desk Chatting Ends at 5 p.m.

A work husband should stay your work husband: at work.

It’s OK if you feel like chatting here and there with your WH on Facebook or what have you, but the constant communication should come to a halt after 5 p.m.

Read More: The Essential Guide to Having a Work Husband or Boyfriend

Behave,

Laura

Why I Love Working and I Don’t Feel Bad About It

Let’s be real for a few minutes, shall we?

I am a divorced single mom. Not working is not an option. Work is survival. I am the head of my household, and that’s not likely to change anytime soon. When I was at home with my daughter, I built a lifetime of memories into two and a half short years, and if I could do it over again, I would. I miss all that quality time I had with my girl. I miss not running around like a mad woman. I miss having time to schedule things rather than cramming every moment in. I miss feeling like I could slow down for one second without worrying about when life was going to bulldoze me over.

But those days are long gone. And you know what? My single parenthood. My divorce. My hectic, crazy life does not mean I go on day to day, surviving. I thrive. And even more still, I actually enjoy working. I enjoy knowing that, at the end of the day, no man or other human being is responsible for me and my daughter’s care. That, ultimately, the fruit of my labors bring us care, shelter, food, and more. That my efforts are building a young girl’s world and substantiating mine!

Read More: Why I Love Working and I Don’t Feel Bad About It

Sisters Are Happily Doing it For Themselves,

Laura

You Can Beat Depression: Happy Hour #6

I know that many people require medication to deal with chemical imbalances and sometimes therapy–both together is best in my opinion, but what do I know. Anywhoo, sometimes though, you yourself can snap yourself out of a dismal moment or day simply by how you think and the things you say to yourself and others. Cognitive-behavioral therapists would agree with me. Personally I prefer analysis to CBT, but I digress.

Today, I am wrapping up my book that I authored, and so it’s on to new jobs/s. I was applying for things and I felt myself cringe inside…and heard my little high-pitched voice inside my head say, “Nothing seems right here. I’m never going to find the right fit. Why bother?”

And that’s when I used my big girl voice and said, “Stop it. Stop it right now. You’ve found work throughout the whole year even though things didn’t pan out as planned. You’ve done so much good work too this year. Stuff to be happy about. Don’t get down.”

And that was it.

My bad mood floated away. It’s not always that easy to get out of a funk when things are not going your way, but sometimes it really is that damn easy.

For more happy-moments, sexiness, humor, and self-deprecation, follow me.

If You’re Happy and You Know It…

Laura

You Can’t Have it All: Why Women Feel Like They’re Failing

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When I was growing up, I heard that women could have it all.

We could have careers, raise children, and make a good living, maybe even better than the men in our lives.

Damn, it sounded peachy. It sounded easy.

I always imagined myself working and as a success.

I never pictured myself as a timid wallflower, and so far that has been more than true, but for the first time in my life I am realizing that the old 70’s-80’s feminism lied to me.

I can’t have it all.

And while many of you probably feel like you’re a success and probably are, I happen to think that a bunch of you probably feel like you are failing to some degree or another, in managing that career and kids our generation said we’d have no problem managing.

I commute a long distance from my job. I’m working on changing that, but I end up clocking in a 64 hour work week.

I love my job, but I never see my kid.

I don’t mean that my time with her is cut down. I mean I don’t know what she will be eating for lunch most of the time.

I mean I am gone so much that I never eat a single meal with her all week, until Saturday.

I mean, I don’t drop her off at her grandparents or school. Or pick her up.

I mean, I get to put her to bed 3 weeknights a week, sometimes 4.

I make use of the time I have with her on the weekend, and the few nights a week I get to bathe her and put her to bed, but do I have it all?

Hell no.

This is not the image of a balanced life I was sold as a kid.

I feel like I am not a mother, but merely a walk-on who gets to play mother on the weekends.

And of course, when I have to leave early because my kid is sick or I take off to attend a school function, I shove in my work within a short time frame, and leave early, watching others working hard, feeling guilty that I am not clocking in the exact same hours that they are.

Do I have it all?

No.

I can’t have it all. I can’t always be at the office, and I can’t always be home.

I work hard and parent well, but inside I am feeling like a failure.

When I get to work, I am in the zone, enjoying what I do, but when I got a call the other day that my kid was sick and I couldn’t get her until hours later because I live far from my job, the bus schedules blow, and traffic was terrible, I got home feeling like crap.

I couldn’t stay the full day at work. I couldn’t be there for my kid.

How am I doing a good job at all, as a parent, I wonder?

Even if you’re just dropping off and picking up your kid, you’re clocking in parenting time. You’re part of the daily routine.

I went from being in charge of my kid’s day and mostly at home, to becoming a mom-spector. Do I exist? Do I matter anymore?

You’ll tell me I do, but I don’t believe I do.

Am I saying you shouldn’t have a career? Absolutely not.

Go out and get one. Do it! I love what I do…

But find a life balance.

Make sure you’re with someone who sees things as you do, and then both of your prepare a plan for when you have kids how duties will be shared, especially finances. If you can, save ahead of time so you can go down to part-time work, or telecommute if you are able. If you want to work full-time, that’s great, but be sure that your situation will enable you to stay in the picture. Trust me.

My kid is 2.5. Her moments mean more than a paycheck.

We can’t have it all. We cannot be perfect. We will have to leave early. We will have to miss out on moments with our kids that will hurt. We will feel hopeless at times, and even feel as if we are doing nothing right.

But most importantly, at least we know the truth: we cannot have it all, but we can have what we need, and that’s what matters. Figuring out what you need will make you a happy working mom.